So I made...Alastor and Rosie duets! (Plus Mimzy and Charlie, too!)
Song 1: “Practically Perfect” by
Rosie (mix up of Mary Poppins)
(Rosie sings)
“By the time the fire has burned the
restless souls down,
I’ll tell you, yes I can,
No matter the circumstance for one
thing you shall know,
My character is spite, shine, spic and
span,
I’m practically perfect in every way”
“For demons say
Each sin and misdeed knows no bounds
To hate is great and patently sound
I’m practically perfect head to tail
If you found a fault, it would be to no
avail
I’m so practically perfect in every
way”
“Both prim and proper, graceful and
stern
So passive, at peace yet willing to
TURN (briefly goes to demon form)
I’m clean and honest, my manner refined
And I wear hats of the sensible kind
I suffer no nonsense and whilst I
remain
There’s nothing much else I need to
explain”
“I’m practically perfect in every way
Factually flawless, that’s my forte
Uncanny ladies are hard to find
Unique, not meek, great matters of mind
I’m practically perfect, and never soiled
Killing like a villain with victims
freshly boiled
I’m so practically perfect in every way
Well those are my credentials
Perhaps you have a few questions?”
Song 2: Hell’s version of…“You’re
Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile”
Alastor’s
Shadow plays the Furby organ. Mimzy plays the saxophone as the shadow spirits
play drums and trumpets. Alastor and Rosie stand together on stage, Alastor
with his staff, Rosie with her pink umbrella over her head
(Rosie sings) “Hey Hobo Sinner, hey
Dapper Winner
You’ve both got your style,”
(Alastor sings) “But brother you’re
never fully dressed without a smile!”
(Rosie sings) “Your clothes may be,”
(Alastor sings) “Beau Brummelly,”
(Rosie sings) “They stand out a
mile,”
(Both sing) “But brother, you’re
never fully dressed without a smile!”
(Both sing) “Who cares what they’re
wearing
On Maim Street or Sever Row
It’s what you wear from ear to ear!
and not from head to toe…
That ma- ah- ah- ters…
(Rosie sings) “So room and board”
(Both sing, pointing at each other) “So
Overlord!”
(Alastor sings) “So long for a while”
(Both sings) “Remember you’re never
fully dressed without a smile!”
(Both sing) “Who cares what they’re
wearing
On Maim Street or Sever Row
It’s what you wear from ear to ear!
and not from head to toe…
That ma- ah- ah- ters…
(Both sing) “It doesn’t matter how
you dress…
Though you may look the best…
You’re never fully dressed without a
smile!”
Song 3: “Overlord Life”
Alastor and
Rosie go off to kill demons and make sinners obey their orders
The song is
similar to Moxxie and Millie’s murder love song but more business/platonic
(Alastor)
“You ready, dear?”
(Rosie)
“Aren’t I always, Alastor?”
They walk
outside beside each other along Pentagram City.
(Rosie sings) “What can we accomplish
today?”
(Alastor sings) “There are pranks to
pull, and sinners to slay?”
(Rosie sings)
“Oh, but I need a perm, sharper nails,
new dress…”
(Rosie spots
a random demon)
(Rosie
speaks) “Hey, go away!” (She bares her teeth, eyes glowing and the demon turns
to ash)
(Alastor
steps to the side, arm out like a gentleman)
(Alastor sings) “By all means, lead
the way”
(They enter
the Barber Chop)
(Rosie sits
as she removes her hat and gets her light colored hair done by demons with
scissor hands)
(Rosie
sings) “Just a few highlights…oh the
purple is too much…”
(Barber
touches Alastor’s tufts/ears)
(Alastor sings and growls) “If
you know what’s good, don’t touch!”
(Barber runs
away)
(Rosie steps
up to the counter)
Demon with
ax head: “That’s 200 souls”
(Alastor
sings) “Ha! No way. Not today.”
(Rosie
sings) “Your soul should be sufficient
pay.”
(Alastor
stabs the demon who screams)
(They walk
out of the shop)
(Alastor
sings) “Ugh, I’m so bored”
(Rosie sings
and smiles) “There’s no reason to be when
you’re an overlord.”
(Alastor)
“Hell’s a stage, just for me”
(Rosie)
“Being influential sure is loads of fun”
Brief flash:
both of them transform into their full demon forms: Alastor with red dial eyes
and large antlers and Rosie floating in the air surrounded by pink energy. They
scare and kill demons as they laugh. They go back to regular forms and have
coffee together by a lake filled with demons with crocodile heads.
(Rosie sings) “When you can put up a
pretty façade”
(Alastor sings) “Or when you have
dark strength of a god”
(Rosie sings) “Life at the top is
hectic, sure”
Alastor sings) “But not when demons
make way for us, I assure”
(Flash as
Alastor and Rosie’s faces sing in a background of musical notes and splatters
of blood)
(Alastor sings) “I can hear the jazz
and the melodic screams”
(Rosie sings) “Let’s prepare our
schemes and pursue our dreams”
(Alastor sings) “That has great
appeal. So then it’s a deal?”
(Green
surrounds Alastor)
(Rosie)
“No.”
(Both sing on a stage with flames in
the background. Rosie smiles beside Alastor as they sing into their
microphones.)
“High levels of praise and power
Sinners flee and brave ones cower
Down in Hell there’s no race to run
When you know you’ve already won
(Brief
flashes of Alastor making deals with demons in green light, their souls later
being taken away by shadow spirits)
(Both sing) “With just a deal or
demand
All of Hell at your command”
(Brief flash
of Alastor toppling previous Gnostic demon overlords, instilling radio towers
all around Hell. Rosie making demons sew her clothing and cheer for her on
stage)
(Both sing) “Toppling enemies for
land
Have you ever lived a life so grand?”
We’re the bringers of suffering and
strife
Fools and jerks fall under the knife
Here down below, is where you’ll know
That’s the overlord life”
Alastor and
Rosie dance on stage, Alastor twirling Rosie around as the background fades to
flames and black before going back to Pentagram City)
(Rosie sings) “Just don’t go over
into Vox’s place…it has wire traps, brainwashing and little space ”
(Alastor sings) “A techno, with a big
ego, such an utter disgrace”
(Flash of
Lucifer, Lilith and Charlie standing on their balcony, the wind blowing their
blonde hair gently, all three with stoic expressions.)
(Rosie sings) “And never disobey
royalty. Your second life depends on your loyalty.”
(Alastor sings) “I suspect their
family lore, and I desire more”
(Rosie sings) “Drinks, fun, murder
galore? Or watching Exterminations from behind a locked door?”
(Alastor sings) “Well, all those things,
plus jambalaya from the store. You’re never fully satisfied, even as an
overlord.”
(Both sing)
“High levels of praise and power
Sinners flee and brave ones cower
Down in Hell there’s no race to run
When you know you’ve already won
“With just a deal or demand
All of Hell at your command
Toppling enemies for land
Have you ever lived a life so grand?
“We’re the bringers of suffering and
strife
Fools and jerks fall under the knife
Here down below, is where you’ll know
That’s the overlord life”
(Rosie sings) “I work at my emporium”
(Alastor sings) “And I at the
auditorium”
(Rosie sings) “Scrutinizing those who
fall below”
(Alastor sings) “Always ready to put
on a show”
(Roise sings) “Dress to impress”
(Alastor sings) “The best of the
best”
(Both sing) “That’s the overlord
life!”
(Rosie sings) “Don’t let your ego get
to your head”
(Alastor sings) “Why shouldn’t I, as
I’m already dead?”
(Rosie sings) “We have power and we
seem scary, but there are powerful beings out there, be wary”
(Flashes to
the faces of Lucifer, Lilith, Helsa, Sir Pentious, Valentino, Vox, Stolas, a
black spider overlord and a dragon demon)
(Alastor sings) “Oh there’s so much
more to this”
(Rosie sings) “Do tell me, what have
I missed?”
(Alastor sings) “A beautiful girl, a
charming demon belle…that very princess resides at the Hazbin Hotel.”
(Rosie sings) “That building of junk,
full of outcasts and gunk? I imagine the stench there, worse than a skunk. A
princess has business in such a place…wow.”
(Alastor sings) “So who has the big
ego now? You can stay for free, it’s all on me. I’m kind of an owner there, you
see.”
(Alastor sings) “I livened up the
place, don’t judge it from the outside. My associates Husk and Niffty took
their roles in stride. It’ll be entertaining to watch those sinners fail, and
more so to befriend and mess with Charlie as well!”
(Rosie sings) “Swinging with Big
Apple’s daughter? Are you dashing to the slaughter? Flirt or hurt, no one
messes with her father. You’ll know what Mimzy’ll say. ‘Have you lost your
mind?’ Lay a finger on her and he won’t be so kind.”
(Alastor sings) “Rosie, Mimzy,
Niffty, Charlie…you all mean so much to me.
I’m a man with a plan that only I understand. Bedazzle Charlie long
enough and watch her take my hand. I make new friends, I’m entertained, the
hotel gets a great rate, demons take the bait, accept their fate, and soon
it’ll be too late.”
(Rosie sings) “I know you’re very
clever, but some ties should not be severed. You want the throne, power you
thirst…unless some other demon gets to it first. There are things more valuable
than a pearl…do not trade our friendship for that of a little girl.”
(Alastor sings) “There’s something
about her, though I know I’m not in love. She has pyrotechnic powers and
thoughts from up above. She sings and dances with a pure heart. Her very
presence is a work of art. She’s older than me but that doesn’t matter. There
are some with powers to make reality shatter. She even cares for those who
first meet her. If she can cooperate, I might not have to eat her.”
(Rosie sings) “Conflicting feelings
in you, for good or bad. Be reasonable and appreciate the live you’ve had. Do
what you will, as an overlord would, but pursuing a reckless route might not be
so good. Mimzy’ll say, ‘he’s a crazy dapper deer. Sliding up to ladies and
making things disappear. Pizzazz with jazz, and a smile on his face. One big
mistake and even he’ll know his place.’”
(Alastor sings) “My friends are of
great use and joy in my day, but I don’t have to listen to what others have to
say. I’m a radio host, myself I love most, and life gets better when I’m free
to boast. You’ve been kind, my dear dame but I must get going. My thoughts and
tactics flowing, my broadcasts showing. I’d love to hang with you and Mimzy
again. Perhaps a killing spree for three, cause other overlords pain? Don’t get
jealous of my friends, you’re all the same to me: beautiful, funny, and amazing
as can be! Summoning monsters, shadows, or just humming when bored, afterlife
is heaven since I’m an overlord.
(in radio voice) “To others I say,
stay out of my way, be in my good graces and put a smile on those faces. Hope
you enjoyed this song, even if it was long. You will be seeing more of me soon.
Until then…stay tuned.”
Song 4: “Oh Alastor” (Featuring Alastor,
Angel, Baxter, Vaggie, Niffty, Charlie, Rosie, Husk, Crymini, and Mimzy)
Seven Deadly
sins:
Angel Dust:
Lust
Husk:
Greed/gluttony
Alastor:
Pride
Vaggie:
Wrath
Niffty: Envy
Mimzy:
Gluttony
(Charlie
hears slow knocking at the Hazbin Hotel)
Charlie:
“Hey guys… the Radio Demon is at the door!”
Rosie: “My
fellow overlord?”
Mimzy: “The
one and only one?”
Niffty: “The
one I admire so?”
Crymini:
“That freaky showman guy with the shitty music?”
Angel: “Oh
yeah, the delectable strawberry pimp.”
Husk: “Big
fucking whoop.”
Vaggie holds
out her spear. Vaggie: “Don’t let him in, guys. Just stay calm and…”
(Alastor
opens the door, which slams Vaggie against the wall, white hair flattened, her
eye twitching.)
Alastor:
“Why hello there, my fellow friends! It appears the newly improved hotel seems
to be in order. Ah, and it appears we have several lovely guests joining us!”
Crymini:
“Just came to find a place to crash, nothing more.”
Rosie: “This
place is not half bad, all things considering.”
Mimzy: “Does
this place have a bar and a stage?”
Charlie:
“Yes it does.”
Mimzy: “I
have a song for you all tonight. A song about…”
Alastor:
“The main character from Hazbin Hotel.”
Mimzy: “Al,
don’t interrupt! And this song is about the main popular character…”
Alastor: “Me!”
Charlie:
“No! I’m the main character of the show. The story revolves around me
primarily.”
Angel: “Aw
come on. Everyone wants a piece of this spider. It’s no wonder I’m the most
feared and popular.
Vaggie:
“Screw you. I’m Charlie’s girlfriend and supporter. If she’s the main
character, I will play an important role, no doubt.”
Husk: “Yeah,
what about us?”
Niffty: “I’m
part of the main cast, too!
Mimzy,
Baxter, and Crymini; “Us too!”
Angel: “Pfft.
You three didn’t even appear in the episode.”
Rosie:
“Anything can happen. And Alastor is an influential character. Without him,
Hazbin wouldn’t exist.”
Alastor:
“Exactly, Rosie! Thank you!”
(Blitzo and
the imps appear)
Blitzo: “We
get our own episode. And the second one is almost ready! Catch up,
motherfuckers!”
Alastor:
“Get back to work!”
(The imps
vanish)
Alastor: “Now,
on with the song!”
Charlie: “Ya
know, we all are equal in this, let’s get along and sing a song about every…”
Alastor:
“One moment, I need to tell a dad joke.”
Angel: “Oh
shut up!”
Alastor: “I
could if I didn’t open down first.”
Vaggie:
“Ugh!”
(Mimzy sings)
“Oh Alastor
The dapper of New Orleans
He takes note of my figure
And loves it when I sing
When he dances and buys me a drink
I get lost in his red eyes, and can’t
even think
We enjoy each other’s style
And we’ve known each other a while
Singing or killing I’m ready for more
If I can spend time with Alastor”
Husk:
“Singing wasn’t bad.”
Niffty:
“Yay!”
Charlie:
“Selfish lady.”
(Angel Dust sings)
“Oh Alastor
The dark pink pimp walks through the
door
That blood red suit, persona galore
But oh how I wanna see more
He wants to see other’s fail
But I’d fail if it mean I’d feel his
tail
So tough, but full of red fluff
Deer daddy, I’m at your service
I can suck whatever you’d like
Suck your dick, slap you ass,
Al you get a free pass
Anything you want, it matters not
Show me what ya got!”
Alastor: “Ha!
No.”
Rosie: “Vile vermin spider.”
Charlie
(facepalms)
(Vaggie sings)
“Oh Alastor
You sack of manure
You’re a dick and a prick
And don’t know a moral from a trick
You barge in and manipulate everyone
Thinking it’s all in good fun
You’re a shady self-centered overlord
of shit
Go away and quit
You harm my girlfriend, I won’t stand
for it a bit!”
Alastor:
(laughs) “Dear, if I wanted to hurt anyone here, I would’ve done so already.
You thought I was going to use my creepy voice that time didn’t you?”
(Niffty sings)
“Oh Alastor
The one who brought me here
His charm and his powers are nothing
for me to fear
He’s good looking
I always love his cooking
Sewing dolls, witnessing falls
Seeing poor victims in his thralls
When he uses his tentacles to bring
others down
Or summons portals to turn reality
upside down
When the shadow spirits come to play
Or when he turns night to day
I made a deal
I’ll just squeal
It’s with Alastor I’ll stay!”
Angel Dust:
“Obsessive fan girl problems, much? Stockholm Syndrome.”
Vaggie:
“Fucking disgusting.”
(Baxter sings)
“Oh Alastor
What is it about your magic
That if merged with technology would
result in an event so tragic?
DNA, nerves, and brain
How much can a demon withstand pain?
Research more, find stuff out
That’s what it’s all about
Experimentation for the greater good
Even if unethical methods are not
understood
Land dwellers can’t see what’s
beneath their feet
An aquatic lurking, studying in the
deep
My tests would be well known
If I could get my subjects alone
Seeing them react
What a comeback
Science and solitude is my home
Alastor:
“Poke and prod me and you’ll see what happens when a fish gets pulled above
water.”
(Baxter
backs away)
(Husk sings)
“Oh Alastor
You’re annoying to the core
Why did I even make a deal with you
before?
Summoning me against my will
Working for you to “pays the bill”
Let me take the money and pot
Go away and rot
Bribing me with booze
Keep telling me I’ll lose
But I always gamble and win
Wipe off that hideous grin”
Charlie:
“Aw, that was precious! I didn’t know Husk could sing.”
Husk: “Lay
off, princess.”
(Rosie sings)
“Oh Alastor
Associate and friend
Shall we discuss options for
territory
Or help demons meet their end?
I bring pose and perfection
You bring charm and power
Together we’re a formidable force
The very bravest shall cower
Treat each other as equals
Though you are the stronger one
Watch as citizens stand in their
places
Fear and respects on their faces
When our work for the day is done”
(Crymini sings)
“Oh Alastor
You…look like a handsome creep
Can’t stare into your eyes
Then I’ll lose some sleep
Rock and porn are my thing
I didn’t even know I could sing
No one knows much about me
But everyone suddenly likes Crymini
Your music sucks, rock rules, pop
drools
Sinners aren’t winners
Hellhounds win the rounds
Today, you stay away,
Have a good day, hey!”
Husk: “What
kind of song was that?”
(Charlie sings)
“Oh Alastor
What others say may not be all true
What matters most, radio host
Is what you think of you
I know there is evil inside
You’re shifty, creepy, full of pride
But you are very special too
This hotel is made for people like
you
Singing, cooking, full of laughter
You’re not only about greed and
merciless slaughter
While you want to see others fall
I know that in you, that’s not all
Moving in your arms during our dance
I was glad I gave you a chance
Whether we stay down here or go up
above
The one thing that cannot be stopped,
is love”
(Alastor lets out a low growl, smile falters a bit. Charlie
continues.)
“Alastor, emotions do not make a
person weak.
In different states, you may find
answers you seek.
Sadness takes courage, it doesn’t
make you a coward.
It’s natural for everyone, even those
with great power.
After the storms come a rainbow,
After sadness, an even greater
happiness to show.
You may think your appearance relates
to your greatest endeavor.
But even your big grin cannot hold
forever.”
(Alastor sings)
“My parents taught me to always look
my best.
And without my smile, I’d never be
fully dressed.
I can’t afford to appear vulnerable
to others around me.
My fearsome reputation would be ruined,
you see.
With a grin, you can win, you
confidence shines through.
Indeed, you look the best with a smile on you.”
Vaggie: “Stop changing the subject!”
(Alastor sings)
“So I’m the most popular…”
Vaggie: “Absolutely not!!!” She swipes the spear and Alastor
dodges, pushing her away.
(Alastor sings)
“…as you can see…”
Angel: “Less, talking, more dancing! Or better, yet,
stripping!”
(Alastor sings)
“The only one fit to rule Hell…”
Vaggie: “I’m telling Lucifer!”
Charlie: “No, don’t!
We’re all equal, unique, and special remember?!”
(Alastor sings)
“…is none other than me!”
Niffty: “I’m not worthy!”
Husk: “Fuck you, radio clown. Fuck you all. I’m grabbing a
beer.”
(Alastor sings)
“The anticipation is too much for you…”
Mimzy: “Indeed. Now, let’s party the night away!”
Rosie: “I…need to get back to work…”
(Alastor sings)
“Our secrets revealed soon…”
Angel and Vaggie fight after he called her a Bitch Burrito.
Vaggie points her weapon at him. “I will kill you.”
Baxter: “Fascinating interactions. Gotta get back to the
lab.”
Charlie: “Everyone, order! Order in the hotel!”
(Alastor sings)
“…But you mortal morsels will have to
wait…”
Angel Dust: “Al, who you talking too?!”
Charlie: “Wait, Alastor stop! Everyone has to know!”
(Alastor sings)
“…until then…”
Every character in Hell: *Screams*
Eevil dial eyes and grin)
“…stay tuned!”
The world turned static and then black.
Song 5: “Hazbin Madness” (From “For
His Entertainment” AU)
(Alastor) “Among the flames and gore
In
Hell’s city galore
Radio
waves spread wide”
“We
dance along the floor
We’ll
show you what’s in store
Here,
there’s no place to hide”
(Alastor)
“Welcome to my Heaven in Hell
(Charlie)
Where demons never see the light
Shadow
spirits: (Alright!)
(Alastor)
With my lovely demon belle
(Charlie)
And my gentleman of might
(Both)
The realms will all be ours tonight!”
Shadow
spirits: (That’s right!)
(Both)
“Come on out and have some fun
Taking
out souls one by one
We’re
back in style, dressed with a smile
Embrace
our rule, you cannot run”
Shadow
spirits: (No one can run from the Radio Demon)
(Chorus)
“Come
down
(Come
down!)
Don’t
turn back around
Beware
the Hazbin Madness
Our
demon army’s abound
Come
down
(Come
down!)
Go
smile and play
But
don’t fight against us
Lest
your life slips away” (Hey!)
(Charlie)
“My life was changed by a twist of fate
(Alastor)
My heart was battered by gnawing hate
(Charlie)
Those who begin with a fresh clean slate
(Alastor)
Won’t know their own failure until it’s too late”
(Alastor)
“Welcome to my Heaven in Hell
(Charlie)
Where demons never see the light
Shadow
spirits: (Alright!)
(Alastor)
With my lovely demon belle
(Charlie)
And my chaos lord of might
(Both)
The realms will all be ours tonight!”
Shadow
spirits: (That’s right!)
(Shadow
Spirits and possessed characters, clapping)
“Hey,
hey, say no more!
We
follow our overlord Alastor!
Hey,
hey, say no more!
We
follow our overlord Alastor!
Hey,
hey, say no more!
We
follow our overlord Alastor!
Hey,
hey, say no more!
We
follow our overlord Alastor!”
(Chorus)
“Come
down
(Come
down!)
Don’t
turn back around
Beware
the Hazbin Madness
Our
demon army’s abound
Come
down
(Come
down!)
Go
smile and play
But
don’t fight against us
Lest
your life slips away” (Hey!)
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