Strike of Knowledge (Part 9)

Chapter 9: Unfair

“Unbelievable,” said my father. I was back at home, sitting on the couch in the living room across from my parents. Disappointment was etched over my mother’s face. Ashley stood nervously by the wall. “After all these years, all the times that I told you to follow the rules, you decide to foolishly harm another student, talk back to a teacher and get yourself suspended. I thought you knew better than that.” To say that my father was shocked would be an understatement. I hung my head in shame. “I know what I did was unacceptable and I am sorry. I am willing to deal with the consequences.” “Just promise that you will never do that again,” said mom. “I promise,” I said. Then my father muttered words that pierced my heart: “I should have known that my son would never be worthy. At this rate, he will never become a real man.” ‘Did he seriously have the nerve to say that and expect that no one would hear it?!’  

I was seething with rage as I stood up in defiance. At this point, I was tired of everyone dictating how I should be and how I should live. If was a moment to stand up for myself, this would be it. “Listen, I am sick of you saying nothing but negative things about me. I know I may not be the perfect son in your eyes, but guess the f*ck what? I am far from it.” “Language, Josh,” my mother warned, but I ignored her.

This time, my father stood up and took something long and black from his belt. I saw what it was and recoiled in fear. “Follow me to your room and after we are done, I expect you to memorize twenty of the quotations.” “Honey, stop,” said my mother, but her words were weak. Before anything else happened, Ashley got up and stood beside me, directly facing my father. “Josh is right,” she said. I briefly looked at her with gratitude. “He made many mistakes in his life, but that doesn’t mean he should adhere extreme unreasonable standards.” My father looked at her, nonverbally telling her to step aside, but she remained where she was. “Josh disrespected me and disrespected our Lord and Savior. And for that, he needs to be taught a serious lesson.” “He will do what he needs to,” Ashley explained. “So please stop forcing him and me to be like you.”

Ashley really hit the nail on the head that time. Even my mother was surprised at what she said. “I don’t need you or your messed up religious beliefs,” I spat at him. “Josh,” my mother scolded. “Please remember that Christianity has been beneficial to many people in society, both in the past and today. It held special meaning for our ancestors, as it does to me.” Ashley nodded to her statement. Realizing what I had done I turned to her. “My apologizes, mom. I should not judge you for what you believe in. From now on, Ashley and I will work on respecting your belief and understanding its good implications.” Mom smiled at my maturity that I didn’t know I had. Perhaps sociology wouldn’t be too bad to learn about.

Then, Ashley and I turned back to our father. “It is when people force others to confirm to their beliefs is where the line should be drawn,” I remarked. “And the line shouldn’t be drawn when one breaks the rules?” he asked. “’Honor thy father and mother’ seems to be lost on your minds.”  “And what if said father doesn’t take the time on honor his own children?” I asked. I was pleased that what I said made him hesitate for a moment. Then he recovered, “That is still no excuse for what you did. And you, Ashley, why are you starting down the troublemaker route?” This time, she stood as defiant as me, and that made me proud. “You want to know why, dad? I am not causing trouble at all, except maybe for you.” He glared at her, but she continued. “If you think Josh has it hard with you, think again. Every day, you tell me to pray and memorize what is in the Bible without question. You accuse me of not being ‘ladylike’ just because I don’t wear a dress or because I decide to express myself. You think I am somehow stupid, but I know the darker subtle messages that I have learned. How could I not see that history and the Bible regarded slaves as animals and women as passive playthings? And the people in poverty may as well not existed.” “You obviously do not know what Jesus did…” my father began but she spoke again. “He saved many people, died for our sins and was resurrected. But where is He now?”

“I’ll tell you where. He continues to live in our hearts, just as Muhammed does for Muslims, Abraham for Jews, Buddha for Hindus etc. Religion has been with us for thousands of years. Life is this way not because of They could do, it is more like what we should do. It is up to ourselves to treat every living thing with dignity and respect. It is one of many important lessons that we all must learn in different ways. How else will we truly understand life?”

Everyone in the room was speechless at that point. My father stood with his mouth agape and mother was crying tears. I looked at her and beamed with pride. This was my wonderful sister that I loved so much. “Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us, Ash,” said mom. After a moment, father turned to me. “Now follow me or…” “Honey, can we talk?” ‘Not again.’ My father sighed and followed my mom out of the living room. This was another attempt to calm my father down and he was willing to listen to her more than anyone else. However, I knew that the break would only be temporary before he would strike again. I gave Ashley a tight hug. “Thank you for standing up to me, like that. Your speech was incredible.” “Well, how else was I going to practice for my social studies presentation?” We laughed and hugged again. “It’s good to have you back, Josh.” “Yes it is,” I said.

I walked up to my room and everything was still in place. Science fiction film posters decorated my walls and Star Wars figures were lined up on my dresser. I looked at the picture of Catlin by my bedside table for a moment… and promptly threw it in the trashcan. I lay down on my bed, feeling relieved. Thankful that the worst was behind me, I dosed off to sleep.

It was early evening when I woke up. The sun was starting to set. I walked down the hall to the kitchen to get a granola bar. I sat down in the dining room, enjoying my crunchy treat, when I just noticed something. The house was strangely quiet. I figured that mom would be sleeping to catch up on her work hours but none of us slept at the same time except at night. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the door to my father’s office slightly ajar. I looked inside and the room was empty. His computer was still on, papers neatly filed and a small wooden crucifix sculpture on his desk. What was more shocking was the empty beer cans littering the floor. My thoughts were interrupted by a scream. Since the TV was off, I concluded that it wasn’t from a show. Pure panic struck me as I heard the feminine-sounding scream again. No, no, no.

I raced up the stairs as fast as I could. I didn’t want to think about what he could do to Ashley. She could be beaten up, or worse. Thankfully, her bedroom door was unlocked and I flung it open. My dad was towering above her, hands on his hips. Ashley stood in the middle of the room, arms crossed in defense. “Josh, help!” she cried in fear. He turned and looked at me with hazy eyes. “Stay out of this, son. I need to teach her a lesson.” He reached for her shirt but she slapped his hand away. “Don’t you dare touch my sister!” I yelled. I summoned all my rage and hit him hard in the abdomen. He growled and pushed me off, but I wasn’t giving up that soon. “I’m going to put both of you in line,” he bellowed. “This is your last chance before going to hell in your afterlife.” “You drunken bastard!” I cursed. “Our family has had enough of your bullsh*t!”

This time, he kicked me hard in the privates and the pain dragged me down. He brought the belt up and I rolled away on the ground, barely missing the strike. As I closed my eyes and braced for an impact, I heard another smack. Father turned and saw Ashley holding a pink baseball bat. She smacked the table again to get his attention. “Please stop doing this and leave us alone!” She was on the verge of tears, but still held her ground. He yelled in anger and charged at her, but I grabbed his leg and held on as best as I could. He managed to claw at her shirt while I pulled hard on his leg. She swung her bat and the impact caused him to let go. After several more seconds of chaos, a voice bellowed, “Enough!”

Mom stood there, looking angrier than I had ever seen her. We all stopped what we were doing and looked at her. Father spoke first. “Sorry about that honey. The kids were misbehaving again. Why don’t we go back to our room and…” He didn’t finish his sentence as mom slapped him hard in the face. “What in heavens name is wrong with you?! How can you think that being cruel to our children is reasonable?” “They were the ones who started it,” he claimed, his breath tinged with the scent of beer. “I don’t care!” she yelled. “I will not put up with anyone who harms anyone else just because they don’t see the world the same way that you do.” Then she said more to herself: “I should have seen what you were really like. Why didn’t I notice any warning signs? Where your parents as nasty as you are now?” Hurt appeared on father’s face but he didn’t say a word. “I see that you are too stuck in your ways to be concerned about the people around you,” she said, this time tears starting to fall from her eyes. “What are you talking about?” father asked. “We’re done.” “What do you mean ‘we’re done?!” he raged. ‘You know exactly what it means!” said mother. “It means that I am divorcing you.” “You will do no such thing! I can’t live without you!” cried father. “Well maybe you should find a way to live with your pathetic self, first,” she stated. “Dam all of you!” he screamed and he stormed out of the room. “I’m sorry,” she said to us and walked away. Later in the street, I saw Dad pack his belongings into his white truck. He then drove off, taking my former thoughts with me.