Chapter
3: Sever
The rest of the week went
by in a slow haze. The hours dragged on as I scrubbed grease and sauce off of
the pots and pans at work. Tedious routines would occasionally break when there
was a busy shift. The people in line placed their orders and went about their
days and evenings, unaware of my fatigue and soreness in my muscles.
Going home always filled
me with dread, dread that my father would appear from the shadows and come up
with another way to criticize me for my flaws…or worse. No matter how much I
would complain to my mom about him, she would never listen.
“Dad wants to know which
friends I have been texting again.”
“Mom, please don’t
persuade me to do wrestling like my Dad wants me to.”
“Dad almost hit me again
for supporting an LGBT club at college a month ago!”
Every time, however, she
would brush off the comments like they were flies. “Oh don’t worry, Josh. He
would never do something like that.” “Why do you stay with him, anyway?” I
pressed on. “Dad cares more about fishing and religion than any of us!” She
sighed and said, “Your teenage hormones are causing you to overreact again.”
Teenage hormones?! Anger boiled in my veins. “I am not overreacting! I am
telling the truth, I swear! If this keeps up, he could abuse all of us.” At
that point, she turned away, not wanting to be a part of any more conflict.
As much as I love mom’s
kind, hardworking personality, I am upset by the fact that she can be a coward.
Sure, she talked to dad at one point at the end of the last fight, but in
general, she has trouble standing up for herself and others. I know it is kind
of stereotypical in terms of negative gender roles but that is just the way it
has been in my family for a while. I can tell that she has a lot of stress on
her plate. Mom would come home from work more tired than usual and even admitted
that she had gained several pounds.
The worst part was how
this was affecting my sister. Ever since that fight, her trust and love for dad
went downhill. Every day, Ashley would try and keep up her cheerful demeanor,
describing the goals she scored, the good grades she got and a new kid she had
a crush on. Whenever Dad got home and sat at the table with us, Ashley would go
dead silent and stare at her plate the entire meal. I don’t understand how mom
doesn’t notice what is happening…or, more likely, why she refuses to
acknowledge it. It was unbearable seeing the constant fear in her eyes whenever
she looked at him. I don’t know how much longer I can handle this.
Apparently, I did not
have to handle it much longer. The day came when it was time for me to go back
to college. After everything was packed, I made my way to the front door.
Thankfully, Dad had decided to go to church and mom was still sleeping. Ashley
stood by the door with sadness in her eyes.
“Please don’t be gone too
long, big brother” she said as I gave her a tight hug. “Don’t worry, Ash, I
will be back soon.” “I don’t want to be
with Dad, though! He is starting to get strict with me and I don’t want to get
hurt.” We broke apart and I looked at her firmly in the eyes. “You are a strong
girl and the closest friend I have ever had. Know that you can make your own
decisions and not put up with his crap. Don’t let your opponents get in the way
of you succeeding and scoring that goal.” A smile formed on her face as she
hugged him again. “Thank you, Josh. I love you so much!” “I love you too,” I
said. I walked over and got my belongings. Turning back I said, “Please take
care of mom for me. Help her stand up for herself. This family needs your
optimism.” “Will do,” she smiled. I got into the car and slowly drove away, my
sister’s face disappearing from view.
I turned on the car radio
to try and clear my thoughts. However, I was only met with the repetitive
sounds and cheesy lyrics. It was sad that there were not many great songs like
the ones I remember from middle and grade school. Then again, I wasn’t as picky
about the music I listened too. I turned it off and let my thoughts wonder as I
drove in silence.
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