Strike of Knowledge (Part 2)

Chapter 2: Hello Father

My eyes slowly opened as they spot the red numbers on the alarm clock. A loud buzzing vibrated as the time read 7:00 am. Groaning, I pushed down the button and rolled out of bed. Why did work have to be so early? After putting on blue jeans, a nice top, and my brown work apron, I shuffled my way into the kitchen. “Good morning, bro!” said Ashley who was pouring a box of Fruit Loops into a bowl. “Morning, Ashley,” I replied, patting her playfully on the head. I had no idea how she had the energy to stay awake so early in the morning, a Monday morning, for that matter. Then again, she enjoyed going to high school, where she stroked up conversations with her classmates. Not exactly the most ideal environment for a loner like me. Emily came into the kitchen, looking better than she did last night. “Morning kids,” she said. I reached for the box of Cheerios, while mom made herself some toast. As I ate, mom went over her schedule. “So I’m going to work at 9:00, I will work out at the gym again and do some grocery shopping before I come back.” “That sounds good,” said Ashley. “I will be going to classes, hanging out with my friends and playing soccer later on! Too bad Josh here has to work all day.” I playfully stuck out my tongue at her and she rolled her eyes. After brushing my teeth and packing my stuff, I walked to the front door. “Have a good day,” said my mother. Ashley and I walked out the door. “Bye Josh, see you later,” she said with a wave before making her way to the bus stop. I got into my car and drove over to work.

To say that working at Papa Johns was stressful would be an understatement. At one shift, I was washing the dishes, another time I was operating the cash register. Several times, I brought out peperoni pizzas to the customers. Even though it was fast-paced, time still dragged on. My legs felt like wobbly jello from standing so long. “Come on, Josh, the next order is up,” someone called. “Coming,” I said, walking over to take care of it.

At last, my shift ended and I was able to go back home. As I pulled into the driveway, I saw a white truck with fishing poles in the back. Stickers displaying beer, Christian crosses and the joys of fishing decorated the back window. The truck could only belong to my father, Leo. Lead dropped into my stomach and a faint shiver ran up my spine. I forgot that my dad would come home after spending a fishing trip with his friends and going to church. I wish he could be at work, where he could bore high school students with his religious lectures. In fact, I wanted him to be anywhere but here. I opened the front door and sure enough, there he was, sitting on a lounge chair in the living room like an old king. His eyes glared as he looked at me. His short black hair and beard bore the faintest hint of gray. Desperate to get away from the long lectures and a possible fight, I went up to my room. Thankfully, he wasn’t in the mood to talk to me yet, and instead he said sternly, “You and your sister better be studying up there!” I entered my room and breathed a sigh of relief. Out of all the fathers I could have had, I had to have a strict, over religious one. At least he wasn’t into drugs or alcohol, though he did like to chug a beer every once in a while. I did not know what my mother saw in him.

My stomach growled as a plate of steak, potatoes and vegetables lay in front of me. All of us briefly talked about our day at work but only Ashley was bubbling with excitement. “School was so amazing,” she explained cheerfully. “I completed my social studies World War 2 presentation and my Shakespeare exam in English. I also have a soccer tournament on Wednesday.” “That’s wonderful, dear,” said Emily with a smile. Seeing my sister smile at father made me feel sick inside. If only she knew how strict and ruthless he could be when he was in a bad mood. She was quick to forgive and mom was quick to forget. I, however, have held a grudge for a long time, mostly because I knew that I would never be the perfect son in his eyes.

Dinner was finished and I helped clear the table and wash the dishes. When all that was done, I went back to my room where my laptop was waiting for me. After browsing YouTube and Facebook I looked at the picture on my desk. A beautiful young woman with black hair and green eyes stared back at me. She was Catlin, my girlfriend that I met during my senior year of high school. Thankfully, she went to the same college as me and we planned on seeing each other again in a week. She was probably the only other woman that I felt comfortable talking about personal things with, besides my mom. (Ashley is better at cheering people up.)

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I retrieved it to see who it was. It was Wendell.

Hey bro, can I talk to you about something real and personal?

I texted back:

J: Sure man, what is it?

W: I have been falling for someone for a while now. I am nervous about asking my friend out so I’m wondering, how can I tell them how I feel?

J: Just be honest and polite with them. See if you have anything in common with them. If you don’t mind me asking, who is it?

W: My friend David. He is a really nice guy.

I was shocked. Wendell didn’t tell anyone that he was gay. Talking about feelings with people was never a good strength of mine. Nevertheless, I decided to give him the best advice I could.

J: Approach him like you would with anyone you were in love with. Get to know him more over time and ask him out when you feel ready. You both could go to a sports game, the movies, out to dinner, wherever. Just be yourself and hopefully it will work out.

W: But what if it doesn’t work out? What if he thinks it is weird that I am asking him out? I don’t want other people picking on me for this.

J: See if you can talk to him in private. If he says yes, then I am happy for you. If he doesn’t then at least you know that you tried. It is better to express yourself than to bottle feelings inside for many years. Also, ignore and don’t listen to any haters you encounter. No one has the right to tell you who you can and can’t be. I’ve got you back if you need to talk.

W: Thanks man, I really appreciate it. I hope I can visit you during winter break.

J: I hope so too.

I was feeling happy for Wendell when a face that wasn’t my own reflected on my phone screen. I slowly looked up and saw my father’s disapproving eyes burning holes in my soul. Like an idiot, I had left my door open, thinking that no one would come in. Of course, that would not have stopped someone like my father anyway.

“I thought I told you to study for school. You also have Bible verses to memorize. Obviously you decided to waste your time and text instead.” His voice was cold like a bitter wind.

He put his palm out, signaling for me to hand over the phone. Shaking my head, I clutched it close to my chest but his hands tightly gripped my arm and my phone. Soon, it was out of my hands, despite my effort to keep it away. A lump appeared in my throat as he read the text messages, holding my phone out of reach. Then he looked at me in a strangely calm way; the calm before the storm.

“I have two questions, son. One, why aren’t you looking over your assignments?” He glanced over at a Bible, a list of hymns and prayers and Sunday school homework that I had left aside on my dresser. I have read through all the verses time and time again and the more I do it, the less it seems to make sense.

 “Father, I have other English homework to do, plus work! How do you expect me to memorize all that stuff?”

“It is more than just stuff,” he said. “It has been part of not only our family traditions but the tradition of humanity. There are sacred guidelines in there you must follow in order to be a good citizen and a good man.”

“Those were from thousands of years ago,” I argued. “How can you not realize that Christianity promoted slavery and the oppression of women? It still does today!”

“Then why do so many people abide to it?” father asked. “It is because it has helped mankind progress to where we are today. After all, we are all made in His image, and thus we obey his rules.”

I argued back, “There are many people who don’t believe in our god, and I am one of them.” 

A burning pain met my face as I recovered from my father’s quick slap. He leaned forward and spoke again, “That is why those nonbelievers must be cleaned, including you,” father chided. “Remember that I am doing this to save you from a terrible fate. Which brings me to the second question…”

Before he could speak, mom walked to our room. “What is going on here?” she asked. “Josh has been slacking off on his studies and I am taking his phone as punishment.” “He entered my room without permission,” I argued, but I knew my argument was weak. “Josh,” said mom, “You know you should be studying for at least two hours every day.” “He is bashing me with religious nonsense,” I said. “It is not nonsense, Josh, even though I do not agree with everything in the Bible,” replied mom. “Not every Christian forces beliefs down people’s throats.” “Father is doing that to me,” I said. “Enough,” said father. “Sweetheart, could you wait outside for a moment?” I gave mom a pleading look, but she sighed and walked back downstairs. I know she must be tired of our fights, but I wanted her to support me in a time like this. Alas, she will probably never believe the side of my father that she never gets to see. Then he looked at me again. “I forbid you from interacting with friends like that again,” he ordered. “No father!” I shot back. “He is my friend and I am not cutting him off because of your beliefs.” “God will surely send your soul to hell for your sins,” he said. “You don’t like my friend because he is Jewish and homosexual,” I stated. “Guess what? I accept him for who he is and I don’t care what his background is.” “I am trying to cleanse you…” he said but I cut him off. “You are not cleansing me or saving me, father! You are only hurting me. Whatever happened to “love thy neighbor?”

After some more arguing, his fist hit my chest and I doubled over and yelled. Before he could strike again, Ashley walked over and looked into the room. She let out a small gasp as she looked to me, to father and back. “What’s going on?” she asked with a whimper in her voice. “What are you doing to Josh?” Father lowered his arm and said, “I am not doing anything. I was scolding your brother for not doing his homework.” “He’s lying,” I said, raising my voice. “He hit me for not following his religious rules!” “Until you learn how to become a man, you will have to endure more punishments,” father replied.  He turned to my sister. “Ashley, go to bed. You have school tomorrow.” Ashley did not move. Her mouth pinched in anger and her eyes narrowed. “Dad, why would you do that?” she asked. “I already told you that Josh needs to be taught a lesson. Now go to your room.” She crossed her arms and said, “Not until you leave Josh alone. Having lost his patience, he grabbed Ashley by the arm and led her to her room. “Let her go!” I yelled, grabbing onto his hand and trying hard to pull it off of her arm. He spun around and swung his arm at me, but I ducked and kicked at his groin. He howled in pain as Ashley landed a few hits of her own on his back. “What in heaven’s name is going on?!” cried mom as she climbed back up the stairs. Even though we froze in place, she had seen enough of the fight. As a last resort, father took my phone from his pocket and threw it hard on the floor. My heart broke as much as the shattered glass from the screen. It was damaged but not beyond repair. The look on mom’s face could send the deadliest demon running for the hills. All of you, to bed. Now. Leo, we need to talk.” It was a little late for mom to help me now. Ashley and I ran into each other’s arms and sobbed. Our embrace was proof enough that we didn’t need to talk to convey our feelings. “Can I sleep with you?” she whispered. Usually I would decline, but after what happened tonight, it would be good to feel safer and keep her company. “Alright, but only for tonight. You are almost an adult, you know.” We lay down in my bed, Ashley cuddling next to me like we did when we were little. More tears fell from my eyes before sleep consumed me.