Strike of Knowledge (Epilogue)

 So this brings me to where I am now. So far, my life is getting better. It is not fantastic, by all means. The scar that my father left on our family still remains. Even though he treated us like trash often, we all miss him at times. Now that I look back, I feel not anger or hate, but pity for him. The fact that he wasn’t willing to share his past with his loved ones broke my heart.

 We are gradually adjusting to our usual routines. My mom started to work out at the gym and she is slowly becoming more confident about both her appearance and her self- esteem. Unsurprisingly, Ashley recovered the fastest out of all of us. Her grades went back up, she socialized with everyone again and she even went to her soccer games with a new nice guy that she liked.

As for me? I went back to campus and thankfully, didn’t encounter Catlin or Jason again. In fact, I made several new friends that I didn’t expect would stay. To try something new, I practiced shooting some hoops with Nicholas, (even though I suck at sports in general). He has the biggest muscles and the strongest build I could imagine, but his heart was as soft as a teddy bear. No one knew teamwork, encouragement and dedication like Nicholas did.

I also had an interesting experience during my first music club meeting. Before it started in an unused band room, I talked to Flynn about what happened in private and he listened to me the whole time I spoke. He was very supportive and wasn’t afraid to give me a long, tight hug. “I am here if you ever need to talk,” he said to me. With him around, I might as well skip seeing Ms. Johnson.

 Samantha was one of the coolest people I met. Her blue hair stood out among everyone else’ locks. She would wave at me as she rode her black skateboard down the path to class. She could tell the craziest amazing stories. Also, she was a proud LGBT ally and would attend club meetings frequently. If only Wendall had someone like her in his life.

During this meeting, we would practice playing musical instruments and some of us did it for fun. Flynn jammed on the guitar, I played the piano, and Samantha comically sang off key on purpose. Afterwards, we talked about various bands that we liked, and I lead a discussion about my music classes. One student showed us how he made music on his laptop. I wanted to use FL Studio to make music on my own, but I had to complete Music Theory class first.

A ray of hope started to shine in my life when I was with my new friends and immersing myself into amazing music. As of what’s next? Who knows? Only time will tell. 

Strike of Knowledge (Part 10)

Chapter 10: Pretty suicide

The week at home was the longest, most miserable time I had endured so far. Mom went to work the next day and Ashley went off to school like usual. Except that all of us knew that nothing had been the same for us. Mom had given up going to the gym and came home from work more exhausted than ever. Ashley lost her cheerfulness at dinner and even her grades were starting to slip.

On the one hand, mom would feel relieved that she got out of a long term toxic relationship, saying things like “that jerk deserved it. Maybe living alone will teach him not to impose his views on others.” Other times, she would break down in tears: “It’s all my fault. I should never have let him go! Now I have ruined everything for my children!” Ashley and I comforted her as best as we could, but nothing seemed to help.

The divorce papers were filed and my parents attended the debate in court. Everything had gone smoothly, until my father claimed parental rights on my sister. My mother refused to let him take her and the debate went on some more. When she got home and told us that it would be possible that Ashley would live with our father, we were stunned. As sad as Ashley was, she did not want to lose mom and I. Especially, according to her, “Dad hasn’t come back and apologized yet.”

Working on my English and sociology essays helped distract my thoughts, but never for long. As for the apology letters, I didn’t bother using fancy, heartfelt words. (I was never that type of person anyway.) I was getting lost in thought when my phone buzzed again.

W: I haven’t had the courage to say this to you, but I will say it now: I love you Josh. I have loved you ever since we started high school. You have been the most loyal understanding friend I have ever had. I hope we can see each other soon. You are lucky, remember that.

I should have felt happy for Wendall, it sounded like everything was starting to improve for him. Yet, the fact that he said all those nice things filled me with dread. Also, the fact that he said his same statement, as if he was making some kind of conclusion… After a moment, I shook the feelings off. I figured that it was my depression messing with my mind. I didn’t want to feel more stressed and down than I was already.

The next day arrived and I lay down on the couch, lost in thought. “Good news,” said mom. Ashley perked her head up from the book she was reading. “I have officially divorced Leo and now I have full parental rights to both of you.” Mixed emotions crossed our faces, but, for the most part, we were glad to have peace in our house.

“Oh no,” gasped mom suddenly. “What is it?” I asked. “She showed me a page in the newspaper. I took it and looked at it. There was a picture of a university building. The headline read: “Man commits suicide after being bullied and harassed by peers.” ‘No, it couldn’t possibly be…’ My worst fears were confirmed when they showed a picture of Wendall’s smiling face to the side. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t speak. All I did was stare at it in disbelief, hoping that I was just imagining things. Ashley put a comforting hand on my shoulder.

 ‘I suspected that something was off about him. Why didn’t I say anything? Why didn’t I tell his parents sooner? Maybe if I hadn’t rejected him, none of that would have happened.’ “It’s my fault, he is gone,” I cried. “He was bullied because he was gay and Jewish. He wanted me to love him, to be there for him, but I wasn’t…” “Josh, it’s not your fault,” said my mom, who pulled me into a soft hug. “This world can be a cruel and messed up place, especially so in America.” “Unfortunately he made his choice,” said Ashley. Desperate to be alone, I pulled free and went back to my room.

I was drowning in my personal sorrow. At the same time, I felt more anger rise in me. I was a slave to fate and my insecurity…and I needed to escape.

I went into my father’s office and opened drawers filled with papers, phone chargers and other junk. I searched the bottommost drawer and felt something hard and metal; exactly what I was looking for. A loaded ominous black pistol was in my hands. Back when I was younger, my father had gotten it from somewhere and said he would use for self-defense, or in case an intruder would break in. At one point, he said that he would train my sister and I on gun safety but never got through it. Perhaps he had received it from his American pen pal, who was allowed to have it in America, only to have my father buy it. Someone may have taught him how to make one. Or maybe he planned on using it when he got too drunk, (I am glad he didn’t). Whatever the reason, I now held the key to my ultimate freedom.

My hands trembled as I held it against my forehead. ‘What the heck are you doing?’ I internally screamed to myself. ‘Suicide isn’t going to solve anything!’ I lowered my arm. Then another, less logical voice popped up in my mind. ‘Life isn’t going to get any better. You will only end up losing everything.’ I lifted the pistol back to my face. ‘It is not worth it,’ said the first voice. ‘You are better than this, Josh. You still have a chance to make the most out of your life.’ My heart beat faster with every second that passed. ‘Do you want your pain and misery to completely go away? Do you want to possibly see Wendall and your loved ones again?’ “I don’t know what I want!” I cried.

There was a knock on the door. “Are you okay in there, Josh?” It was the voice of my sister. “I’m fine, Ash,” I called back. “I’ll be out in a minute.” I focused on the cold circular hole against my skin, possibly the last thing I would ever feel. ‘Your mother, your sister, your friends, they need you. The world needs a person like you to make a beneficial difference. Go through this and you will never see them again.’ Tears fell from my eyes and my hands got sweaty. ‘You were never meant to fit in this crazy world. Hurry and do it before it’s too late!’ I cleared my mind and focused.  ‘Please make it quick, please make it quick, please mak…” A loud buzzing noise came from my pocket. I couldn’t believe someone would try and call me at the worst time. Reluctantly, I pulled my phone from my pocket with my other hand and answered. “H-hello?” I stammered. “Hey man, it’s Flynn! I wanted to tell you about the next club meeting. Is everything okay?” “Yes, everything’s fine,” I stuttered. “Obviously not. You sound shaken up.” “I can’t live like this anymore. I…I have to go.” “Dude, no! Don’t you dare leave this Earth!” I looked over and saw Ashley and my mother standing in the now open door way, fear in their faces. “Josh, please don’t do this,” Ashley pleaded. “Everyone, please, s-step back,” I said. I moved back, still holding the gun in one hand and my phone in another. My foot met a black cord and I fell backwards with a yelp. My finger pulled the trigger and a shot rang through the air. I saw a small hole in the ceiling where the bullet went through.

“Josh!” they cried. My sister ran to help me up and my mother kicked the gun away. As they ran over to me, I lost it. I broke down crying in my mother’s arms. She hugged me tight and gently rocked me back and forth. “I’m so sorry.” I chocked, sobbing like a baby. “I will never do that again. I never want to leave any of you.” I meant every word. “We will get through all of this, sweetheart,” mom said. “You are and will always be, my perfect, wonderful son.” I teared up some more, for once, thankful of fate’s unpredictable nature. “Hey, buddy, are you still there?” asked Flynn from the phone. “I better talk to him,” I said, getting up and picking up my phone. A faint smile appeared on my face. “I have a music club to go to, next week.” 

Strike of Knowledge (Part 9)

Chapter 9: Unfair

“Unbelievable,” said my father. I was back at home, sitting on the couch in the living room across from my parents. Disappointment was etched over my mother’s face. Ashley stood nervously by the wall. “After all these years, all the times that I told you to follow the rules, you decide to foolishly harm another student, talk back to a teacher and get yourself suspended. I thought you knew better than that.” To say that my father was shocked would be an understatement. I hung my head in shame. “I know what I did was unacceptable and I am sorry. I am willing to deal with the consequences.” “Just promise that you will never do that again,” said mom. “I promise,” I said. Then my father muttered words that pierced my heart: “I should have known that my son would never be worthy. At this rate, he will never become a real man.” ‘Did he seriously have the nerve to say that and expect that no one would hear it?!’  

I was seething with rage as I stood up in defiance. At this point, I was tired of everyone dictating how I should be and how I should live. If was a moment to stand up for myself, this would be it. “Listen, I am sick of you saying nothing but negative things about me. I know I may not be the perfect son in your eyes, but guess the f*ck what? I am far from it.” “Language, Josh,” my mother warned, but I ignored her.

This time, my father stood up and took something long and black from his belt. I saw what it was and recoiled in fear. “Follow me to your room and after we are done, I expect you to memorize twenty of the quotations.” “Honey, stop,” said my mother, but her words were weak. Before anything else happened, Ashley got up and stood beside me, directly facing my father. “Josh is right,” she said. I briefly looked at her with gratitude. “He made many mistakes in his life, but that doesn’t mean he should adhere extreme unreasonable standards.” My father looked at her, nonverbally telling her to step aside, but she remained where she was. “Josh disrespected me and disrespected our Lord and Savior. And for that, he needs to be taught a serious lesson.” “He will do what he needs to,” Ashley explained. “So please stop forcing him and me to be like you.”

Ashley really hit the nail on the head that time. Even my mother was surprised at what she said. “I don’t need you or your messed up religious beliefs,” I spat at him. “Josh,” my mother scolded. “Please remember that Christianity has been beneficial to many people in society, both in the past and today. It held special meaning for our ancestors, as it does to me.” Ashley nodded to her statement. Realizing what I had done I turned to her. “My apologizes, mom. I should not judge you for what you believe in. From now on, Ashley and I will work on respecting your belief and understanding its good implications.” Mom smiled at my maturity that I didn’t know I had. Perhaps sociology wouldn’t be too bad to learn about.

Then, Ashley and I turned back to our father. “It is when people force others to confirm to their beliefs is where the line should be drawn,” I remarked. “And the line shouldn’t be drawn when one breaks the rules?” he asked. “’Honor thy father and mother’ seems to be lost on your minds.”  “And what if said father doesn’t take the time on honor his own children?” I asked. I was pleased that what I said made him hesitate for a moment. Then he recovered, “That is still no excuse for what you did. And you, Ashley, why are you starting down the troublemaker route?” This time, she stood as defiant as me, and that made me proud. “You want to know why, dad? I am not causing trouble at all, except maybe for you.” He glared at her, but she continued. “If you think Josh has it hard with you, think again. Every day, you tell me to pray and memorize what is in the Bible without question. You accuse me of not being ‘ladylike’ just because I don’t wear a dress or because I decide to express myself. You think I am somehow stupid, but I know the darker subtle messages that I have learned. How could I not see that history and the Bible regarded slaves as animals and women as passive playthings? And the people in poverty may as well not existed.” “You obviously do not know what Jesus did…” my father began but she spoke again. “He saved many people, died for our sins and was resurrected. But where is He now?”

“I’ll tell you where. He continues to live in our hearts, just as Muhammed does for Muslims, Abraham for Jews, Buddha for Hindus etc. Religion has been with us for thousands of years. Life is this way not because of They could do, it is more like what we should do. It is up to ourselves to treat every living thing with dignity and respect. It is one of many important lessons that we all must learn in different ways. How else will we truly understand life?”

Everyone in the room was speechless at that point. My father stood with his mouth agape and mother was crying tears. I looked at her and beamed with pride. This was my wonderful sister that I loved so much. “Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us, Ash,” said mom. After a moment, father turned to me. “Now follow me or…” “Honey, can we talk?” ‘Not again.’ My father sighed and followed my mom out of the living room. This was another attempt to calm my father down and he was willing to listen to her more than anyone else. However, I knew that the break would only be temporary before he would strike again. I gave Ashley a tight hug. “Thank you for standing up to me, like that. Your speech was incredible.” “Well, how else was I going to practice for my social studies presentation?” We laughed and hugged again. “It’s good to have you back, Josh.” “Yes it is,” I said.

I walked up to my room and everything was still in place. Science fiction film posters decorated my walls and Star Wars figures were lined up on my dresser. I looked at the picture of Catlin by my bedside table for a moment… and promptly threw it in the trashcan. I lay down on my bed, feeling relieved. Thankful that the worst was behind me, I dosed off to sleep.

It was early evening when I woke up. The sun was starting to set. I walked down the hall to the kitchen to get a granola bar. I sat down in the dining room, enjoying my crunchy treat, when I just noticed something. The house was strangely quiet. I figured that mom would be sleeping to catch up on her work hours but none of us slept at the same time except at night. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the door to my father’s office slightly ajar. I looked inside and the room was empty. His computer was still on, papers neatly filed and a small wooden crucifix sculpture on his desk. What was more shocking was the empty beer cans littering the floor. My thoughts were interrupted by a scream. Since the TV was off, I concluded that it wasn’t from a show. Pure panic struck me as I heard the feminine-sounding scream again. No, no, no.

I raced up the stairs as fast as I could. I didn’t want to think about what he could do to Ashley. She could be beaten up, or worse. Thankfully, her bedroom door was unlocked and I flung it open. My dad was towering above her, hands on his hips. Ashley stood in the middle of the room, arms crossed in defense. “Josh, help!” she cried in fear. He turned and looked at me with hazy eyes. “Stay out of this, son. I need to teach her a lesson.” He reached for her shirt but she slapped his hand away. “Don’t you dare touch my sister!” I yelled. I summoned all my rage and hit him hard in the abdomen. He growled and pushed me off, but I wasn’t giving up that soon. “I’m going to put both of you in line,” he bellowed. “This is your last chance before going to hell in your afterlife.” “You drunken bastard!” I cursed. “Our family has had enough of your bullsh*t!”

This time, he kicked me hard in the privates and the pain dragged me down. He brought the belt up and I rolled away on the ground, barely missing the strike. As I closed my eyes and braced for an impact, I heard another smack. Father turned and saw Ashley holding a pink baseball bat. She smacked the table again to get his attention. “Please stop doing this and leave us alone!” She was on the verge of tears, but still held her ground. He yelled in anger and charged at her, but I grabbed his leg and held on as best as I could. He managed to claw at her shirt while I pulled hard on his leg. She swung her bat and the impact caused him to let go. After several more seconds of chaos, a voice bellowed, “Enough!”

Mom stood there, looking angrier than I had ever seen her. We all stopped what we were doing and looked at her. Father spoke first. “Sorry about that honey. The kids were misbehaving again. Why don’t we go back to our room and…” He didn’t finish his sentence as mom slapped him hard in the face. “What in heavens name is wrong with you?! How can you think that being cruel to our children is reasonable?” “They were the ones who started it,” he claimed, his breath tinged with the scent of beer. “I don’t care!” she yelled. “I will not put up with anyone who harms anyone else just because they don’t see the world the same way that you do.” Then she said more to herself: “I should have seen what you were really like. Why didn’t I notice any warning signs? Where your parents as nasty as you are now?” Hurt appeared on father’s face but he didn’t say a word. “I see that you are too stuck in your ways to be concerned about the people around you,” she said, this time tears starting to fall from her eyes. “What are you talking about?” father asked. “We’re done.” “What do you mean ‘we’re done?!” he raged. ‘You know exactly what it means!” said mother. “It means that I am divorcing you.” “You will do no such thing! I can’t live without you!” cried father. “Well maybe you should find a way to live with your pathetic self, first,” she stated. “Dam all of you!” he screamed and he stormed out of the room. “I’m sorry,” she said to us and walked away. Later in the street, I saw Dad pack his belongings into his white truck. He then drove off, taking my former thoughts with me.

Strike of Knowledge (Part 8)

Chapter 8: Monster you created

The next day, I felt like I had aged thirty years. It was hard to make myself get out of bed and get ready for another long day. No longer did I have a hand to hold onto whenever I walked to class. Going to Music Theory, I saw something that made my blood boil. Jason was yelling insults at Flynn and blocking his way to class. “Hey!” I called as I marched over to Jason. “Pick on someone your own size, geek.” Jason turned and looked at me. “Well if it isn’t jerk Josh!” he mocked. Where’s your girlfriend? She break up with you, daddy’s boy?” I clenched my fists before a voice said, “She’s right here.” Stepping from the shadows was Catlin in her gorgeous glory. Although, there was nothing gorgeous about her now. Jason stopped what he was doing and was trying to compose himself. “Oh, I’m sorry miss. I was just trying to teach your loser ex a lesson.” Flynn pulled on my arm in an attempt to steer me away, but I was too mad to move. Both of them were staring at me with contempt, and I wasn’t going to back down from those bullies.

Out of nowhere, Catlin raised a fist at Flynn while looking at me. “If you don’t apologize to me and amend our relationship, I am going to break another one!” “Don’t you lay a finger on my friend,” I scowled. She grabbed his arm tightly and Flynn pushed her off.  She stared at me patiently like a black widow waiting for her dinner. There would be no way I would let myself get caught in her web that time.

Before I could run to Flynn’s aide, I heard a loud smack and felt a sharp pain as a fist hit my cheek. Jason was making his move again, but I didn’t let him get that far. I blocked his attacks with my arms and swung my foot at him as he dodged out of the way. “Ha, you will certainly be expelled now! My mother has won the case!’ I don’t freaking care,” I yelled, dodging another punch. “I am tired of you boasting about your stupid reputation and picking on students just because you can!” Jason rammed into me and I almost fell to the ground, but I got back up, despite his painful kicks at my side. Jason let out a sickening laugh and said, “Why don’t you shove your attitude up your puny little…” A direct blow to his groin cut off his threat. I was able to knock him to the ground before strong arms forcefully pulled me back. “That’s enough, young man!” said a deep voice.

Security guards dressed in navy blue came over and separated Jason and I. Catlin had grabbed Flynn’s neck, but soon she was restrained. Nicholas was standing by the guards, with a look of concern. “Nick, you traitor!” Catlin spat, struggling against her guard’s grip under her arms. “Now I am going to get in trouble.” “Catlin, you need some good help,” said Nicholas, before turning away. I was turned around and was met face to face with Ms. Stonewall. The look she gave me was colder than ice. “I should have known, you would cause more trouble.”

All four of us were brought into the waiting area by the offices, the guards surrounding us. A door leading to a meeting room stood in front of us. The atmosphere was tense, and I felt like a messed up criminal. Not surprisingly, everyone was silent, save for Catlin’s ragged sobs. In order for us not to fight, one of the teacher’s called on us by alphabetical order to go into the room to share their point of view. Catlin was first and she was still sobbing as she walked into the room. I hoped that none of the staff members fell for her victim playing antics. Finally after fifteen minutes, she came back out and was instructed to wait beside the far wall. Flynn was next and he gave me a thumbs up before walking in. After Flynn was done, Jason went inside. This time, I could hear the voices beyond the walls; and one voice did not sound pleased.

“That is not okay Ms. Johnson! Are you telling me that my son will be suspended for a week and fined for his behavior?” “I’m sorry Ms. Stonewall, but all of the students including your son must face the consequences of their actions, even if they were defending themselves, like Flynn. That is part of our policies and procedure.” “My son has done nothing wrong, he has top grades, the smartest in computer class and the star of our hockey team! Do you want him to miss a whole week of classwork?” “Classwork that he can do at home, a fine that your family are more than capable of taking care of and a formal apology letter done by Jason would be a good step in keeping him grounded. In fact, this school expects full apologies from you, or else you will have to resign from your teaching position.” I smiled victoriously. It was a relief that Ms. Stonewall was getting what she deserved. Finally, Jason and his mother were led out and I was last. I went in, trying not to look nervous.

“Good afternoon, Josh,” said Ms. Johnson, who was sitting across from me in a gray chair. I sat down and folded my hands. “Would you care to explain what has been going on this past week?” I took a deep breath and told her everything that happened since I got arrived from my break, (minus the private moments). “Jason insulted me and threw the first punch, and I fought back. Flynn was trying to defend himself from Catlin, who was mad at me for breaking up with her.” “I have a few concerns, Josh,” she said. “Why did you keep fighting Jason? Why did you run away from the staff and leave your sociology class?” “I kept fighting Jason, because I was angry at him for picking on other people. I left class because I felt that Ms. Stonewall was discriminating me in class. She unfairly criticized my essay for no logical reason and she disregarded every white male in the class except her son.” Ms. Johnson pushed her glasses into place and said, “While I understand your actions in regards to standing up for yourself and dealing with arrogant people, you still do not have the right to hurt other students and talk back to your professors. This is very childish behavior for a young adult. Is that understood?” I did the respectable thing and said, “Yes mam.” 

“Here is how this will work,” she continued. “Our staff have discussed the matter several times, and, after many days debating against Ms. Stonewall, she has lost her case.” I sighed in relief. “You, Catlin, and Jason will be suspended from campus for a week, but you are still responsible for completing your homework. Twenty five Canadian dollars will be taken from your tuitions and all three of you will not be allowed to participate in sports or extracurricular activities this semester. Also, you will all write formal letters of apology to the staff, Ms. Stonewall, and each other.” I tried to hold back my disbelief at such a punishment and a growl escaped my throat. Ms. Johnson glared at me. “Would a ten page apology essay work better for you?” I quickly composed myself and said, “The apology letters would be great.” “Good,” she said. “How about Flynn?” I asked.  “Flynn will stay here and continue his studies, but we warned him not to get into any fights.”

She continued, “One more thing, all of you are expected to leave within twenty four hours. We have also called your parents about what happened.” A soreness spread through my gut and the hairs on my neck stood on end. “My dad’s going to kill me,” I muttered. “You will get through it,” she said. “How do you know?” I snapped, my voice shaking. “My father slapped me for associating with the ‘wrong’ kind of people! He criticized me for not memorizing the Bible. He has made life for our family miserable. I’m willing to bet, he has a belt ready for me when I get back home!” For the first time, her face showed genuine sympathy. “I’m really sorry that you have to deal with that. Alas, I am in no position to deal with family problems. That is up for your family to handle. One thing to know is that I am also a counselor here on campus and I am available by appointment if you ever want to talk.” “Thank you,” I said softly. She gave me her card with her email and office number, walked over to the door and opened it. “You are dismissed, Josh.”

I had never felt drained as when I looked back at the campus buildings, my belongings in hand. It was hard to believe that things could happen in the blink of an eye. I knew mom would be disappointed in me and I could endure her chiding words. I was even willing to do all the chores and give my sister a break from them. My father though… I would never survive his wrath. Not only that, but it would prove his point that I would always be an unworthy, troublesome son in his eyes. Just before I got in my car, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I checked it, preparing for my father’s angry words, Catlin’s drama or Flynn trying to comfort me. It was Wendall.

W: You are a very lucky person, Josh. Remember that. No matter how your relationship is going, know that it is a blessing compared to others who aren’t even given a chance the first time.

J: Is everything alright, man?

W: That is a vague statement, considering that now I am constantly harassed for both my orientation and my religion.

J: I’m so sorry, Wendall. I know it must be hard for you.

W: I hate to say this, my friend, but you have no idea what I am going through.

J: I just broke up with Catlin who turned crazy and clingy, my rival, Jason and his domineering mother made my days miserable for no reason and now I have to deal with my angry parents for a week! I don’t know what could be worse than that!

W: How about seeing three letter words taped on your door every day? How about having your spirit broken, listening to how the Jews were treated throughout history in class? Being suddenly shoved around and people says that you have no soul?

There was a pause and he texted again.

W: Is it worse to have a threatening family? Or to have people threatening you and your family for things I can’t control about myself?

The last thing I wanted was to have my old friend turn against me too.

J: Look, I’m sorry that all of that happened to you. Did you talk to your family about it?

W: No matter what they do to help, it is never enough. Life is never enough, alone.

I looked over and saw Jason and Catlin walking to their cars with their belongings.

J: I have to go. I’ll text you soon.

I got my stuff in the car and got inside. Jason and Catlin raised their middle fingers and I returned the gesture. Then, I drove for home, cursing at fate again.

Strike of Knowledge (Part 7)

Chapter 7: Perfect Poison

I slowly opened my eyes as sunlight entered the room. Catlin was curled up beside me under the covers. Once again, fate threw some unexpected things at me, but this time, I was very glad it did. Catlin stretched her arms and legs and looked at me. “Good morning,” we said at the same time and giggled. We hugged and kissed some more then slowly got out of bed. “I have to get dressed and go to class soon,” I said, remembering my Computer Science class. “I think we should also shower first,” I said. Catlin gave me a naughty grin as we gathered our belongings and raced to the bathroom.

Several days passed and to my great relief, I wasn’t caught by any of the teachers. In fact, once I heard that there would be a substitute teacher for sociology, I was more than willing to attend. I could only hope that Stonewall was losing her case in suspending me and that Jason’s reputation would go down. I encountered Flynn again at lunch and he introduced me to his friend Samantha, who had short blue hair. We exchanged numbers and he told me to come by the music club anytime.

Everything was going well for a while. Then I noticed strange things about Catlin. Whenever she was texting on her phone, she would move it away whenever I tried to look at it. I knew that it was rude to stare at someone else’s phone, but she acted as if I would try to steal it from her. I even saw her jump a little when I picked up her phone that had fallen on the floor. Catlin claimed that she had private texting conversations with her uncle that she didn’t want anyone to see, but my mind wondered whether there was more to it.

What was most peculiar was that her desire for sex seemed never ending. Don’t get me wrong, I felt like I was on cloud nine for the first several interactions. Yet, even for me, it got old fast when she asked me to do it every other night. When she got frustrated with me, she would often claim that she needed to smoke and left the room. One time that it happened, I pressed my ear to the wall that separated us and I thought I could hear sobbing on the other side.

When I introduced Catlin to my new friends from the music club, she was polite and friendly to them. However, when I started to hang out with them more, Catlin got irritated. She remained silent whenever I would talk to them during meals. I also noticed that she crossed her arms when I was helping Samantha with her Music Theory assignments. I tried to include her, but she would only talk to me when we were by ourselves. I didn’t know whether she was jealous or if this was her way of coping with her childhood abandonment, but her possessive personality was starting to bother me.

The bad part was how hard it was to resist her seductive charm. This would be many a man’s dream; for me it was unnerving. Even though each day was different, she would always get her way with me at the end of the day. Whether it was doing the thing, or apologizing or just giving her endless compliments, she craved attention. For a while, I went with it because…I didn’t want to lose her. I couldn’t lose her; we had been close friends since high school and she was there for me when Wendall and my parents were not. Surely no other woman could match her beauty.

Sitting alone in my room with no classes to go to, my emotions overtook me. For the first time, I could understand how my mother must have felt being with my father. To love someone unconditionally, then find out how unpredictable they could be because of past hurts or instilled beliefs. The worst part was the fear, the uncertainty of whether they should be a part of someone’s life…or if they needed to leave for good. At that moment, I felt like a coward, allowing myself to be stuck in relationships I had little or no control over. I wasn’t confident enough to take action and speak my mind.

Then, for some reason, Ashley popped into my mind. I remembered how I told her that she could do anything she put her mind too. I encouraged her to help mom stand up for herself…and she went above and beyond. Picturing her smiling face and determination in her eyes, I knew that if she were here, she would have said the same thing. My inner strength was deep inside me…I just had to find it.

“Cat?” I asked, this time knocking on her door. She opened it, smiling her usual playful smile. “You’re here early! Want to have a steamy snuggle session?” “We need to talk,” I stated, keeping my face blank. Unfazed by my response, she let me in and shut the door. “Don’t worry, Wanda is in class, so no more awkward moments,” she said casually, twirling in her red dress. She made herself comfortable on the couch, spreading out her legs and posing like a model. At one point, I would have found it sexually appealing, but in that moment, she was similar to a middle schooler playing a drama queen. She beckoned me with her finger but I refused to budge. She noticed how different I was acting and sat up. “What’s wrong, baby?”

I took a deep breath and looked at her. “There are lots of things that are wrong, Cat. What is bothering me most is how you are behaving. I noticed that you don’t talk to me and my friends when we are eating. For some reason, you think that texting me ten times a day is great way to strengthen our relationship.”

“I’m sorry about that,” said Catlin, looking hurt. “I didn’t know that what I was doing was wrong.”

I explained with a groan, “I texted you multiple times, politely asking you to let me have my space, yet you didn’t.”

“I wanted to make sure you were doing alright,” Catlin added.

“You know how many woman say ‘I don’t need a man in my life. I can do things on my own?’ Well, it is the same with men; not all of us need a woman to support us. Or other ways around for gays and lesbians.” I quickly added that part, thinking of Wendall. Pray to Mother Nature that he was doing alright.

 “And what is the deal with you wanting sex all the time?” I added curiously.

“It is the way I am,” Catlin stated. “And there is nothing wrong with that.”

“It is all fun and games until someone gets hurt,” I quoted. “There is always too much of a good thing.”

“But you liked it! Admit it!”

“Give me a break!” At this point I was standing up, pacing back and forth. “Of course I did. What I don’t like is you clinging onto me with every step I take. I may be your friend, but I have a life of my own.”

Catlin winced when she heard that I called her ‘friend.’ “So… is that it? You only think of me as just a friend, not a lover?” I opened my mouth but she interrupted. “Well that explains everything! How you have been ignoring me as much as possible. How you have been eyeing Samantha every time you see her.”

“Samantha is just a friend,” I said, but Catlin wasn’t buying it. “You men just think you can get away with cheating and ignoring girlfriends. Always looking for something to inflate your masculine egos! Never once thought about how the women feel, how much they struggled in the past and still do in the present!”

“This isn’t about feminism,” I growled. “This is about you and me as equals. I get that women have gone through more hardships than men in general and it is true that I will never understand what it is like for you. But you are going to have to get a hold of yourself, or this relationship will go downhill.”

She walked sultry to me and said “As long as you are with me, there will be nothing to worry about.”

As if on some twisted cue, Catlin’s cell phone buzzed on the table. “Who’s that?” I asked. “Oh, sorry, that’s my mom,” she said. No one would be that nervous in that situation if they didn’t have something to hide. My eyes narrowed. “You have not seen your mother since you were abandoned.” “My uncle, it’s private!” she raised her voice, but it was too late for her to fix her error. She was also too late in retrieving her phone before I did.

I skimmed through flirtatious texts between Catlin and a friend. Just before she snatched it away from me, I read the name: Nicholas. Nicholas was a good basketball player at college and from what I heard from other students, he loved sports, acting, cooking, and lots of intimate moments. Everything from before fell into place. Catlin had texted this guy back at the arcade, and every time she went out for a break. “You were cheating on me, weren’t you?” She protested but I held up a hand. “That explains everything,” I retorted.

I looked at her directly. “You never truly loved me. All you cared about were the intimate moments. And when you didn’t get enough attention from me, you wanted it from someone else!” “I do love you with all my heart,” Catlin pressed. Her legs were shaking and her eyes were getting watery. “If you truly did love me,” I explained, “then you would have respected my personal space. But more importantly, you would have shown respect for yourself.” “I completely respect and love myself!” she argued. She put her hands on her hips, trying to look intimidating, but I wasn’t having any of it.

“You will never leave me, Josh! I am your closest friend and lover.” I almost choked on the next words that came out of my mouth. “I’m sorry, Catlin, but I am afraid…I’m afraid I will have to.” She gasped in shock. “You are leaving me?” “Right now. We’re done,” I deadpanned. “Impossible, you can’t seriously be saying that! After all I did for you those years? Hey, don’t you dare walk away from me!” I walked out of the room and into the hallway. “Listen to me you son of a…” I slammed the door and ran as fast as I could to my room. My head was pounding, my breathing heavy, my vision blurry from my tears. I ran into my room and curled up into a ball, crying my eyes out. I didn’t care how messy I looked or how loud my sobs were. Once again, fate had reared its ugly head at me. Like with many people in my life, fate had become another being that I could not trust.

Strike of Knowledge (Part 6)

Chapter 6: Play (one more time)

“Josh, are you in there?” A faint voice and a knock on a door woke me up. I rubbed the goo from my eyes and rolled out of bed. I walked into the small hallway and opened the door. To my surprise, Catlin was standing there, looking gorgeous as ever. This time, she wore dark skinny jeans, tall boots and a black tank top with a red widow spider in the center. Her leather jacket completed her look. “Hi Cat,” I said, giving her a hug. “What are you doing here?” “I was wondering if you wanted to hang out with me tomorrow?” “I would love that,” I said. “I don’t want to think about all the work I have to do.” “Understandable,” she said.  “Well, I will let you get back to your work. I was just checking to make sure you were alright.” I winced as she said it. “You knew about today?” Confusion briefly crossed her face. “The only thing I know is that I saw you running down the hall to English and you looked like someone was chasing you or something.” My cheeks flushed red with embarrassment. “I suppose I need to tell you what happened.”

Fear flooded my mind as another thought came to me. “Catlin, can we hang out tonight instead? I am worried about getting suspended any moment. I don’t want to go back home and face father’s wrath.” Catlin nodded and waited for me as I ran back to get some of my stuff. Catlin took my hand and we looked back and forth. Then we walked down the hall as casually as we could. “I’m worried that Mrs. Stonewall sent some assistants up to find me and suspend me.” No sooner had I said that, when I heard someone knock on my door in the distance. “Josh, can you come out? We need to talk about your actions in your sociology class.” I was frozen in fear, but Catlin pulled me along and whispered “This way.”

She led me to the elevator and I pushed the button. I waited for a moment, but Catlin slapped me on the shoulders. “Not the elevator dumbass,” she chided. She pointed to the door that led to the stairs. Looking confused, I said, “Why would we want to…” The sounds of footsteps coming their way gave him his answer. “Stairs it is,” I said as Catlin rolled her eyes. We opened the door and took the stairs two at a time. “I think he went this way,” said a voice. Catlin burst out the exit and I followed suit.

As we went outside, Catlin crept behind a concrete pole and looked around. She spotted a large bush and pointed at it. Getting the message, I ran and dove behind it. Catlin stood as still as she could as the assistants came outside. “Where did he go?” one of them asked. “No idea,” replied another. “That kid is going to be in some serious trouble.” “At least according to Stonewall,” countered the first. “Josh will be fine if he writes a letter of apology to her.” “Stonewall is a prominent figure for this university,” warned the second. “Look how wealthy she is; she donated thousands of Canadian dollars to the school!” “Not if the other teachers have anything to say about it,” the other one said. “Today or tomorrow, the officials will decide what do to about Josh.” The assistants scanned the area some more, then wondered off. Catlin breathed a sigh of relief. “Let’s go,” she said to me. I got up, brushed some twigs out of my hair and followed.

We hurried over to the parking garage where her black truck was parked. Orange flames were painted down the sides. “Sweet ride,” I said. “Is that your friends’ truck?” “It is actually mine,” she said with a grin. “Although I did want to get a motorcycle, but mom wouldn’t let me.” She got in the driver’s seat and I sat next to her. “So where to?” I asked as we pulled out of the parking lot. “The movies? Tim Hortans? Out to some fancy restaurant?” “I have something better in mind,” she said with a wink.

I was wondering what she was talking about when we pulled up and parked by a building. The sign read “Maple Leaf Arcade” in red and white letters. “How original,” she joked as she got out of the truck. “Wasn’t expecting a bad girl like you to choose a place like this,” I stated. “Isn’t this for little kids though?” I asked. Catlin playfully scoffed, “One is never too old to play some fun games.” She then slowly swung her hips from side to side. “Unless you are too scared that I will beat you in Mortal Kombat.” A smirk appeared on my face as I stared some more. “Challenge accepted,” I said.

Before we got to the building, Catlin stopped short. “Is it alright if I take a quick smoke out here? I haven’t had one all day.”  “You know that smoking is bad for your lungs, right?’ I asked. However, she didn’t seem to care and just kept looking at me with big eyes and pouted her red lips. “Alright, go ahead, Cat. I’ll get our tickets and wait for you inside.” Catlin smiled at me and walked over to the smoking area nearby. I sighed and walked in.

“Two adults please,” I said to the man at the counter. “That will be ten Canadian dollars,” he said. I handed him the money and he returned with a small plastic bag of tokens. I took the bag and sat down to wait.

Five minutes passed. I texted Ashley for a while and she said that for the most part, she was doing fine. Her grades at school were the best so far and she told me that she helped mom speak up for herself. She also gradually let our dad back into her life, perhaps to make amends. I was not sure whether that was a good thing or not. What was taking my girlfriend so long?

Finally, she came inside and greeted me. “Took you long enough,” I said. “Let’s just say that what I did was better than trying to get high on New Year’s Eve.” “You’re impossible, Cat” I remarked. Together, we walked over to the Mortal Kombat game. Catlin put the tokens in and introduction music played. I chose a dark haired Chinese fighter and Catlin chose a character dressed in a cheetah outfit. “Round one: fight!” boomed the announcer. My fingers rapidly hit the buttons in front of me. My character did flips in the air and slashed his swords. Catlin’s character dodged and landed swift punches. Before I knew it, I had lost the first round. “Fudgebuckets,” I muttered, while Catlin taunted “Ha ha, sucker!”

Round 2 began. The fight was almost the same as the last one, but this time, I launched a special power attack against her character. Catlin’s character did the same to mine. I then landed the final blows and won the round. “In your face!” I taunted her.

During the final round, we were evenly matched. Toward the end, however, it seemed like for every punch or kick I made, she made two more. Soon, both of us were running low on health. I took the opportunity to launch a special attack. My character jumped into the air about to land on her…only for her to back away at the last minute. Her character took mine down before I could blink. “Flawless victory!” said the announcer along with Catlin’s whoops. I let out a stream of four letter words and she cracked up. I also laughed, despite my loss.

Later on, we played more games and I got the satisfaction of winning car racing games. “I’ll get you for that,” she scowled, even though I knew she wasn’t really angry. I beat her in basketball, then she got me good in Pac Man. Afterwards, we bought ourselves pepperoni pizza and sat down to eat. We laughed and took turns feeding each other; not caring about the strange looks we got. We returned our tickets and walked outside with our prizes. Catlin held a Black Widow figurine proudly and I had a stuffed wolf in my hands for Ashley. I knew that Ashley was old for stuffed animals, but wolves were her favorite.

“What a blast!” I said happily. “I knew you would like it,” said Catlin as we got in the truck. Looking at the orange golden sky from the window, I concluded that things were finally looking up for me. The sky was indigo by the time we arrived back on campus. I held the door for Catlin and she led the way upstairs. We went to the second floor door that led to my room. I was about to grab the handle, when Catlin held me back. “Not that way! People might still be looking for you.” Even though, I would eventually have to face the consequences, she had a good point. “Follow me,” she said, disappearing into the shadows like a ninja.

After climbing more stairs and going down more hallways, we finally reached the door to her room. She took out her keys and opened it. We went into the living room and sat down on the living room couch. “Making the first move, huh?” I asked her. “Usually guys invite their girlfriends to their rooms.” “Who said anything about making the first move?” she asked. “We are just hanging out.” Brief disappointment crossed my face, but I held it in. “That’s fine. I’ll sleep on the couch then if I can’t go back to my room.” “Let’s watch some movies,” I suggested, an activity that sounded perfect for the situation. “Great idea.” Said Catlin. “I’ll make us some popcorn.” Scenes from the Matrix, flashed on the TV. I wrapped an arm around Catlin and she rested her head on my shoulder. Feeling her warmth and stroking her hair made me feel calmer than I had been in a while. After all that had endured, it was nice to be with a person who understood and accepted me. Today, we were rebels, but tomorrow, we could change the world.

As the credits rolled, Catlin turned to face me. “I love you, Josh.” “I love you too,” I said. I cupped her face with my hands and leaned in for a kiss. It started out soft, a quick peck on the lips. Catlin then deepened it and I accepted the gesture with equal passion. In this moment, nothing else mattered, but her sweet scent and the taste of her lips. The light switched on and a student walked toward the fridge. She stopped and looked at us, before we noticed her. We stared at her, frozen in place. She awkwardly retrieved a snack from the fridge and walked back to her room. “Ah, Wanda,” sighed Catlin regarding her roommate. “You always appear at strange times.” We both laughed until I felt her hand creep up to my belt. “Wait,” I said turning red in the face. “I thought you said…” “I lied,” she giggled. “After a year and a half or so, do you think we should be ready by now?” Instinct took over my usual aloofness and I said, “Yes.”  I looked around the room and mentioned, “I don’t think this would be a good place.” Catlin looked toward her bedroom door. “I think I know of a great place!” Catlin squealed as I picked her up and we entered her room. “Hey Catlin,” said Wanda coming out of her room. “I need to talk to you about my biology…” she was met with the door slamming shut. “…project.” 

Strike of Knowledge (Part 5)

Chapter 5: Victim of Design

The moment I walked into my humanities class, I knew I was going to have a hard time. There was only one seat left in the back…right next to Jason. I asked the other students if they wanted to switch seats, but they looked at me like I was crazy. What was the deal with people being possessive over certain seats that weren’t even assigned?  I sat down in the back and moved my chair as far away from Jason as I could, earning a smirk from him. “Nice to see you again, wimp,” he said. “Hello to you too,” I glowered.  The teacher walked in with an air of authority. Her hair was long and brown and she wore a navy blue business skirt and top. Her eyes had the same arrogance as Jason’s. I was surprised her son was sitting beside me and not up front like a special snowflake. Then again, he had an A in this class, while I was barely holding onto a C. 

“Good afternoon,” she said. “Let’s pick up where we left off on sociological labels.” I inwardly groaned. I hated the fact that people placed unnecessary labels on each other based on race, sex, orientation, background etc. After taking notes on the Civil Right’s movement and the customs of other cultures, she went on to explain privilege and oppression. “It is everyone’s obligation to be aware of various issues not only in our society, but all around the world. As a privileged group, the majority of responsibility falls on the shoulders of straight, white, men.” At that moment, Mrs. Stonewall glared at me. ‘Are you kidding me right now? I know many people have it worse than me, but I have my own problems to deal with.’

After a long lecture, the professor made us write rough drafts for an essay about white privilege throughout history and how it still impacts us today. Honestly, that long French history paper I did in high school was easier and more entertaining than this paper. Jason’s constant pestering of me didn’t help me concentrate.

When class was almost over, all of us had to hand in our written drafts for Mrs. Stonewall to grade and, as expected, she wasn’t happy with mine. “Not enough detail about the history,” she critiqued along with “Doesn’t seem to care about the struggles of the minorities as a white man.” How freaking ironic! A sociology professor who is supposed to treat everyone with equal respect like the subject entails, but instead blames me on my so called “privilege” for no reason. I shot an angry look at Jason who was covering his mouth with his hand, hiding giggles. The other students went back to their seats but I held my ground at the front of the room. “Why are you criticizing me, Mrs. Stonewall? What did I do wrong?” “Aside from not paying attention in this class,” she began, “Jason also told me that you have been bullying him for a while.” “Your son has made my life and the lives of other students a living hell!” I fired back. “He even followed me and eavesdropped into my private conversation!” At this time, my classmates had settled down and curiously watched the argument. “From what I heard Jason say, it sounds like it was the opposite of what you were describing.” “He is a manipulative liar who doesn’t deserve the spoiled attention he’s getting,” I claimed. Some of the students cheered for me, while others pretended to read their books or text on their phones. The professor regarded me with her cold eyes, “Josh, if I were you, I would apologize to Jason and to me for your unacceptable behavior. I would also stay after class to work on your draft until it looks decent.” Didn’t this horrible b- witch know that I had an English class after this? Also, there was no way was I going to apologize to that slime bag, especially not in front of the class. I was already embarrassed at the situation I put myself into. However, I had to stand up for myself and any of Jason’s victims. “But…” “I will not say it again,” she said, crossing her arms like a scolding mother.

“I am very sorry about my behavior, professor, it will not happen again,” I said, forcing my voice to be calm. She nodded in approval then looked to Jason. “Forgetting someone?’ she asked me. I looked at Jason who had a goofy smile on his face. I clenched my fists as I walked back to him. “Jason, I am really sorry…about you being such a big fat a-hole!”

The class erupted with laughter. Jason’s face quickly turned beet red. Before he could react, I grabbed my backpack, disregarded my paper and made a break for it. “You come back here at once, or you will be suspended!” called the professor, but I was already out the door. I could hear more whoops and “oh, so busted!” from the room, but the noises faded as I made my way down the hall.

Thankfully, there was no one running after me as I made my way to English. During class, I was silent the whole time, listening to the teacher drone on and on about conjunctives and paragraph form. No one asked me questions and not even the teacher seemed to acknowledge me. The hours went by, and we were dismissed after what felt like forever. I walked back to my dorm room, my back slumped like an old man.

I watched other students texting on their phones, talking about trivial things and heading off for meals. It would seem so easy and effortless to talk about sports, sex, politics, and even different brands of clothing and video games like the other guys I have encountered. From the last couple of weeks and even today, I had gotten into the routine of doing homework, watching ads on TV and even going to meals at certain times every day. It felt like getting caught in a loop, only for the cycle to stop, and another one to start. Almost like my life, like all of our lives were planned from the beginning. By who, though? The previous generations who show disdain for the younger ones? By parents and society who encourage and force people to get careers and behave in certain ways, even without saying it out loud? Maybe I’m just a troublesome sheep who decided to wonder from the rest of the herd.

Was I overthinking again? I must have been. Was that my way from distracting myself from my problems? Or was I making things worse? One thing for sure, I have always felt like myself, no matter how different I seemed to others, and that wasn’t going to change anytime soon. I unlocked my door, put my backpack down and crashed onto my bunk bed. My anger still simmered inside me like a small flame, but soon, exhaustion form the events of the day swept over me. Small tears flowed from my eyes as I thought ‘Why did fate do this to me?’

Strike of Knowledge (Part 4)

Chapter 4: Tirade

Sunlight momentarily blinded me as I woke up with a groan. I looked at my phone, the screen still cracked. “Let’s see” I muttered as I browsed through my schedule, “Music Theory at 9:00, Computer Science at 11:30…urgh Humanities at 2:00, boring English after that…” My mind was inclined to math, music, and mechanics. The last things I wanted to do were to write more essays and learn about how society was messed up throughout history. Thankfully, I could focus more on his major after several semesters. ‘Did I finish up that paper I was supposed to write?’ I thought.  ‘Probably not.’ I looked at the time and sighed; typing would have to wait until classes were done.

As usual, I felt like I was carrying the world on my shoulders as I walked with my backpack full of textbooks. I was dressed in my usual blue jeans, with a Canadian hockey shirt, gray tennis shoes and a blue scarf around my neck. The cold autumn wind blew against my face as I made my way to class. I walked along some more until a dark angel came into view. She moved with grace in her knee-length black dress, her long black hair blowing in the wind. A twinkle appeared in her gray eyes when she saw me. I recognized her right away. “Catlin!” I exclaimed as we hugged. “Oh, Josh, it’s so great to see you again! How was your weekend?” I shrugged and smiled as best as I could. “It was alright. Mostly doing my homework, playing video games and spending time with my family.” She looked past my demeanor and asked, “Are you sure everything went alright?” My face fell and I stared at the ground. “My Dad and I…still not exactly peas in a pod. It is frustrating to live with parents who never listen to you, you know?” Her face went blank and she said, “Uh, I don’t know, actually.” “You mean, you had great relationships with them?” I asked. “Never met them before,” she said. “They abandoned me when I was little and I have lived in an orphanage when my aunt was sick.” “I am very sorry,” I said, putting my hand on her shoulder. “It’s fine,” she said. “As long as I have you, there will be nothing for me worry about.” I hugged her again, hoping that could apply to me. “Well, I will see you later at Tim Hortans,” she said. “See you then,” I said, kissing her on the cheek. Tim Hortans, a popular coffee shop, was the place where we first met in high school. I briefly looked back at her walking away, then turned and walked ahead… nearly bumping into Jason Stonewall.

From a bully with a name like that, one would expect him to be the typical strong bloke, head of the football team, macho looking man. However, this guy looked the opposite: a lanky body thinner than mine, brown curly hair and thick rimmed glasses. The problem was, Jason could always find the nastiest, most hurtful things to say to other people. In terms of verbal attacks and speed, he was not the guy one would want to meet. “Watch were you are going, punk,” he grunted. I continued walking straight ahead, forcing myself to not look at him. “Hey Josh, I was talking to you,” he called back. A low growl escaped my throat as he followed me to class. ‘It is a Monday morning and I’m getting more stressful by the minute. I don’t have time for this.’

He appeared in front of me, blocking my path. “Beat it, Jason,” I spat. “I have to get to class. Shouldn’t you be doing the same?” “I don’t have class until this evening,” he answered. I weaved my way around him, but the little pest kept getting in my way. “Wouldn’t want to be late to class, would we?” he asked me. “I bet that would make your dad quite upset!” “You shut up about my father!” I said as I quickened my pace. He hurried to catch up to me. “You should know how fast information can travel by rumors, the Internet…and phone calls,” he mentioned with a wink.

I shuddered at the memory from last semester. My dad had called me on my cell phone when I was on my only break one day. He had asked me about my grades, my friends and he tried to persuade me to take a religious class. With online websites, it was easy for him to find out about my friends, no matter how much I restricted access to my accounts. As soon as he criticized Wendall and Catlin using not so pleasant labels, I argued loudly. I was in the men’s bathroom and no one was around, at least that was what I assumed.

“How convenient for me to be walking by and suddenly hearing your conversation just outside the bathroom door,” jeered Jason, sending my mind back to the present. “You crazy little creep,” I snarled. “I should report you to the authorities.” “I would like to see you try,” Jason smirked. “If my mother found out about some troublesome kid tattle telling on her hardworking, dedicated son, what would she think?” He blocked my way again and I shoved him out of the way. That didn’t faze him, even as he stumbled. “Mother would surely find a way to expel you for that! Wouldn’t want her to see a wimpy boy like you.” I ran as fast as I could, his laughter ringing in my ears as I reached my class. 

I was fuming and out of breath as I took my backpack off and sat at my desk. If I hadn’t had to go to class, I would have attempted to teach that son of a gun a lesson. Instead, I stared at my music theory textbook, getting ready for my first long lecture. “Hey man, is everything alright?” I looked to my left and noticed an unfamiliar face. His light brown hair ended at his shoulders and brown eyes looked at me with concern.

“I’m fine, thank you,” I said. “You sure? You were breathing hard and clenching your fists,” he mentioned. “Oh sorry, bad day,” I stated. “Everyone has those days, but it sounds like it is pretty bad, huh?” I nodded. “Well, if you ever want to hang out, that would be cool. I am a member of a music club on campus. Name’s Flynn by the way.” “Josh,” I said, shaking his hand. They were about to talk some more, but the teacher walked in and the class quieted down. “Good morning everyone. I hope all of you had a nice break. Let’s pick up where we left off on scales, pitch, consonance and dissonance…”

My mind was already tired as I walked out of my computer science class. Coding and making programs could be quite complicated at times. Thankful that it was lunchtime, I drove myself to a nearby Tim Hortans. After parking near the front, I got out and walked through the door. I ordered an original blend coffee and then sat down at a nearby table. My phone buzzed in my backpack and I took it out. A text message from Wendall appeared:

W: Hey Josh, everything is going ok here in the States. Still hard to get used to the culture here. The weak health care systems and the crime rates here are appalling. Plus, it is hard to understand people sometimes.

J: Yeah, I know the feeling. So far, there is a vile stalker bully who wants to make my life miserable. No calls from Dad yet, thankfully.

W: I have a problem of my own. Remember my friend David that I told you about?

J: Yeah

W: Well I finally got the courage to ask him out and he declined.

J: Sorry man. Was he seeing someone else?

W: Actually, he openly stated that he wasn’t interested in relationships with men or women, only friendships.

J: That’s kind of weird. No experience?

W: No idea. Probably just the way he is. He has probably been that way for all 26 of his years

J: Still makes no sense to me

W: Sorry, hard to stop thinking about him sometimes.

I sighed and shook my head. Life was getting stranger by the minute. At least Wendall seemed to be having a decent time over there. Another text from him appeared and I was slightly taken aback

W: So are you seeing anyone?

J: I thought you knew about Catlin? We have been together since high school.

W: Oh, that’s right. I thought you too were just close friends.

J: Well, that’s what happens when a man and a woman get close over time, right?

W: Perhaps

J: You aren’t interested in my girlfriend, are you?

W: No I am not, man. It is actually…the other way around.

J: What do you mean?

W: I was thinking, that since we have known each other for a long time and you are my amazing best friend, could we, you know… do more than hang out when I come back for winter break?

J: Are you asking me out?

W: Yeah

I was totally shocked. Of all the crazy things to happen this month, this had to be the most profound. Surely I had to be imagining things. As good of a friend he was, he couldn’t match up to Catlin’s movements, her lovely voice, and her kind personality. Also, her secretive and sexy demeanor could not be compared. As painful as it was, I had to tell him the truth.

J: Wendall, I am blessed to have an amazing friend like you. You have been by my side through thick and thin ever since elementary school. However, I just don’t feel comfortable going on a date with you. I hate to say this, but I am straight and there is nothing I can do about it.

W: So, you also don’t want to ‘dig deeper’ in the future?

J: If you are saying what I think you mean, than the answer is most certainly no.

There was a long pause. Then he replied.

W: It’s okay man, I understand. I just wondered.

J: Don’t worry, this won’t affect our friendship in anyway. There are plenty of fish in the sea. I am sure you will find a decent guy over there.

W: You are lucky, Josh. It is hard for someone like me to find a mate. I’m surprised I haven’t been bullied yet.

J: Just keep your head up, man. We will hang out again before we know it.

W: I hope so. Off to finish more work.

J: Talk to you later.

I ran my hands through my short black hair. Wendall had tried to hide his disappointment, but that long pause in the conversation was enough evidence for me. I looked at the time on my phone and cursed. I got up and walked out the door, determined not to be late for my least favorite class.