Will destroy for food

A Beerus fanfiction collection of scenes and quotes. No copyright intended. 

Millions of years ago

Beerus was born 75 million years before age 778. Ever since he was little, he possessed extraordinary fighting abilities and uses of magic. In particular, he and his twin brother, Champa could destroy objects and even entire towns at young ages. Legend has it that Beerus and Champa were born to Lord Vodkus and Lady Awamori of planet Neko.

The Supreme Kais and the angels had been observing this particular planet for many years. To preserve the balance of the universe, deities were needed to create new worlds and destroy old ones. The Grand Priest and his eighteen angel children had been around for millennia. Their tasks were to maintain order throughout the universes (though they didn’t always to the best job.) The angels had been around the longest and they had employed the elf-like Supreme Kais to create planets and ensure that the civilizations were living in harmony and cooperation, or, as formally called, “higher mortal levels.” 

“Greetings, my sons and daughters,” said the Grand Priest during one meeting. The meetings would take place every 1000 years. “The universes are thriving well under the Supreme Kais,” stated the Grand Priest. His children sat in a circle on throne shaped hovering chairs and nodded in approval.

“However,” he added, “The universes have grown…overpopulated, as it were. With so many planets and populations, the desire to conquer has grown ever present. Even our Supreme Kais cannot watch over so many races of individuals and creatures at once. If this growth keeps up, then where will be no more room to accommodate new planets.”

“But isn’t creation a good thing?” asked the angel from Universe 12. “We shouldn’t have to destroy any lives in the first place. What example would we show to those below us? The example of a dictatorship.”

The angel from Universe 10 twiddled his thumbs. “Our universe prides themselves to be the strongest, bravest warriors out of all of the others. If people do end up going to war…and by a slim chance…against us, then no doubt we would be ready.”

“I like the sound of that!” agreed the angel from Universe 9. “Though I think having destroyers to eliminate the weak would be our best bet. Then we wouldn’t have to do much of anything. Let the Supreme Kais and destroyers do the work, huh?”

There was an almost unanimous nod of heads from the other angels.

“But surely, things aren’t fine the way they already are?” suggested the angel from Universe 3. “With my universe pursuing knowledge and having access to the most efficient technology, overpopulation won’t be an issue.”

“Maybe in your universe, it works,” said the angel from Universe 12. “But even though your Universe claims to be intelligent, there are some things that technology cannot solve.”

“The universes aren’t as enlightened as my own,” said the angel from universe 5. “Perhaps teaching them some meditation would be a start?”

“That’s what you came up with?” asked the angel from Universe 8. “Surely you can think of something more pragmatic.”

“What can be the solution, one may ask?” added the angel from Universe 4. “A little bit of blackmailing, some trickery, some magic here and there. Things could work in our favor, even if war were to come.”

“How uncouth! Such despicable thoughts!” remarked the angel from universe 2. “Currently, there is no love going around…seems to hardly matter when everyone’s scrambling for land to own or a new home to go to. Besides, have you seen how many ugly planets are out there right now? Just sitting there…useless!”

The angel from Universe 11 cleared her throat. “Justice is more important than anything else!” she declared. “If no one gets treated fairly and get what they deserve like everyone else, than what’s the point of keeping everyone alive for so long?”

“They’re mortals, remember?” added Vados. “Sure, we can all agree that they have flaws, but one must consider their situations as well as our own. It is highly unlikely that they would get so desperate as to come to us to find somewhere to live. But at the same time, balance is crucial. Without death, what is the point of life?”

“Like my older sister said,” mentioned Whis. “Before creation comes destruction. Or was it the other way around?” He munched on some cookies shaped like flowers.

“Indeed, I’ll have to admit, Vados and some of the others have a point,” added the angel from Universe 1. “As the universe with the highest mortal level, it is my suggested to allow balance to be fully restored in the universes. Destruction is necessary for new life and better planets.”

“Let’s just hope Zeno-sama doesn’t decide to destroy any more planets or universes,” whispered another angel from Universe 13.

“Quiet!” hissed an angel from Universe 14. Do you want him to hear us and erase us?”

“Looks like we have come to a decision, yes, my children?” asked the Grand Priest. “All in favor of enlisting potential Gods of Destruction?”

A majority of hands went up.

“All not in favor?”

Hands rose up, but fewer in number.

“Then it’s decided,” said the Grand Priest. He turned toward another table where Zeno-sama was busy drawing on a piece of paper with crayons. He appeared to be filling in a connect the dots picture. For every dot he connected, a distant planet exploded in space.

He looked at the angel council with interest. “Oh? Is the meeting over? Can I play hide and seek with you?”

The Grand Priest bowed. “Very soon, Zeno-sama, but first we need you to decide something very important.”

“Sure! What is it?”

He mentioned Zeno to the other angels. “You know how you enjoy destroying planets on occasion during your games?”

“Yeah,” he answered.

“Well my children have been discussing having potential Gods of Destruction to work alongside us and the Supreme Kais. Their job would be to keep the universe in balance, to prevent overpopulation.”

“Overpopulation?” Zeno asked.

“Way too many people throughout space and time.”

“Destroying planets…sounds like fun. I’d love to see how well they do their work. Oh…can they play with me too?”

“Of course!” said Grand Priest. “The Gods, Kais, and Angels will do our roles and you can continue to do yours.”

“Yay!” he cheered. “I say yes! I say yes!”

The Grand Priest turned to his children. “It has been decided. I want all of you to go back to your respective universes and search for a candidate to be your universe’s destroyer god. Report back to me as soon as possible. Remember only a few individuals in the universes are truly immortal, so search carefully.”

The angels nodded and disappeared in columns of light, one by one.

Neko was a planet that rested on the invisible boundary between Universes 6 and 7. Neko had a variety of climates. Some were warm, some hot, some cold. Many of the cats had purple, hairless skin like Beerus and Champa, but others possessed fur pelts: tiger fur for those in the jungle, warm white fur for the tribes in the northern tundra, and black fur for the stealthy tribes who lived in caves and hunted at night. They also had human traits and mannerisms: they could all speak, walk on two legs, and create tools that suited the uses of their cultures. For instance, while Beerus’s Egyptian clan “Sutihos” (“royal”) consisted of exclusively purple cats, the Amazon-like warriors of the jungle had light green skin to help them blend with the trees and leaves. The jungle dwellers were called “Furekishi” (the Flexible) due to their ability to swing gracefully from branch to branch and easily evade intruders. Mostly, they kept to themselves, but they weren’t afraid to use their powers to stop the royal cats whenever they tried to sneak in for water.

The tribe in the colder regions were known as “Sukoi” (the Persistent). With their pelts of white fur and keen hunting skills, they could brave the cold for hours on end. Their homes ranged from igloos to huts to portable white tents. They were the least developed in terms of buildings and tools, making them the opposite of the Royal clan in the desert. However, unlike the other clans, they could easily brave the water.

Finally, the “Kage” (Shadow clan) were a group of black-skinned cats with the best night vision of any clan. They weren’t evil by any means, they merely kept to themselves.  Their favorite foods included bats, fish from the river, and other forms of meat typically eaten by humans. Like all the other clans, the members had the ability to fly and shoot ki.

Beerus and Champa’s Egyptian-like tribe was located in a desert in the center of one of the many islands. It had typical aspects of an ancient Egyptian culture: pharaohs, slaves, merchants, priests, farmers, warriors, and the like. Everyone had their duties and families to attend to, and they knew what roles they would take during their lives.

In the case of Beerus, and Champa, they were twins born to two influential parents…not quite as high as the pharaoh but close. Due to their unusually high power levels, they were considered by many to be the reincarnations of the Neko cat sun god Purrhorus. As a result, they were used to being treated like royalty from the start.

However, with great positions comes great responsibility. While both twin cats enjoyed indulging on food and having the frequent cat fight, they also were expected to leave a good impression to the public.

“You’ll need to fill out scrolls and properly address any citizen who comes into our home,” said their mother. “For those with more important concerns, you will reference them to the current pharaoh.”

As expected, discussing trivial matters with the common folk, farmers, and merchants, was, indeed, tedious. Why should Beerus care about desert droughts, family squabbles, and financial concerns when those matters didn’t concern him? ‘One day,’ he thought. ‘If I master my powers enough, then I could reach godhood, like my parents predicted.’ Of course, Champa had the same thoughts, only he may have been even more determined to prove himself superior to his brother.

There were a few instances when things did not go smoothly. One such example was when a light blue cat from the north, entered the mansion and stood defiantly. Two purple guards stood nearby, though unlike the Pharaoh’s men, they did not possess weapons.

“I am Gin Sizzle of the Sukoi clan,” he announced. “I have traveled here to speak my concerns and demand justice.”

Champa let out a big yawn from his chair, while Beerus stared at the cat from his. ‘Go on, explain.”

“Your clan has been hunting the fish and seals that live in our regions. Our annual hunting season is drawing near, but it won’t go underway with most of our food sources gone!”

Champa was the one who was prone to tantrums. “Oh for goodness sake! Can’t you see that our clan needs food as well? Why waste your time complaining to us?”

Beerus sighed and coldly stared at them. He was the more mature brother…but also the more threatening one. “Like my crazy brother was saying here,” he stated, “The Pharaoh demanded the preservation of extra food for this year. He is currently concerned that a revolution from the jungle dwelling tribe of Furekishi will be upon us. Part of the food has to go to his soldiers, part to our citizens and the rest to the temples to offer to our gods.”

The blue cat sighed. “I’ll have you know that I’m no fan of the jungle clan either. Their wild ways would never be acceptable in our small culture. However, I believe they would have good reason to rise up. Sutihos is the wealthiest civilization on the planet, yet you horde most of the resources for yourselves! You’re forgetting about our gods, our customs, our way of life.”

“For our own plausible reasons,” Beerus argued. “Let I remind you that my family has to obey the laws of the pharaoh as much as much as everyone else. His power is greater than anyone else’s.”

“Though what about me?” asked Champa. “My power keeps growing every day. Just last week I was able to destroy a whole village with several snaps of my fingers. Let me tell you, keeping the chocolate sundaes for themselves was plain rude.”

“You’re forgetting about me, as usual,” Beerus grumbled.

“No I’m not,” he grinned, sticking his tongue out.

“You most certainly are!”

“No way!”

“You two are missing my point!” yelled the blue cat in frustration.

“Enough of this,” Beerus said. He held out his hand and the blue cat was blasted to atoms in an instant.

“Was that really necessary?” asked Vodka, his paws on his hips in disapproval. “I’m ashamed of you two. How will our family function in the future when myself and your mother are gone and you two sit there like little complaining kids?”

“It was his fault,” argued Champa. “I was just sitting back and watching.”

“You’re the one who started complaining in the first place,” Beerus remarked.

“You know what happens next, right?” sighed their father. Their mother strode over to the two boys, her purple tail swishing side to side. She picked up both boys by the scruffs of their necks.

“Let us go, mother!” cried Beerus, kicking along with Champa. But it was no use. As she carried them off, Champa and Beerus soon got into a kicking contest and called each other names.

“Sneerus Stick!”

“Fat Champ Champa!”

“Stupid Spynx!”

“Overweight Imbecile!”

There taunts were cut short when they found themselves tossed into the elaborate square bath.

“Ack! Not again,” Champa sputtered, spitting water out.

“Wash yourselves up thoroughly!” she ordered. “And no desert for either one of you tonight!”

“I hate baths,” Beerus groaned, hating the feel of water on his skin.

As fate would have it, Beerus’s family found themselves at the mercy of two enemies. The first event took place in the dead of night. The four felines were sound asleep, oblivious to the scratching and stomping going on outside. The three masked intruders welded steel spears of different varieties. They silently climbed through the empty window, their padded paws moving them quietly across the stone floor. A sleeping Beerus sniffed his nose, his eyes still closed. Champa could sense that something was up, too.

“Could you go see what it is?” Beerus mumbled.

“You do it,” said Champa.

“No, you,” replied Beerus with a yawn.

It was only a shrilling scream that sent both cats wide awake.

They quickly sensed the intruder’s presence and began to attack. To the brothers’ horror, the leader assasin was standing over the still form of their mother.

Before the killer could blink, the now awake Vodka ripped off the mask, revealing the chief of the jungle tribe, a brawny cat with scars on his face.

“This is for stealing our food away from us…and for the Pharaoh taking my wife away! Let this be a message to him!”

Beerus quickly blasted him out of the window…and out of existence.

Champa dodged the punches of the other two intruders and quickly subdued them. He pulled off their masks to reveal a black cat and a blue cat…the same one that the brothers had encountered.

“My sons, bring these two beasts to the pharaoh,” said their father. Champa looked at his still mother, tears threatening to flow from his eyes. A spear had pierced her heart.

Now was not the time to cry. He and Beerus had to warn the Pharaoh of the event.

At the grand pyramid palace, one of the messenger cats woke Pharaoh from his sleep. “Your majesty,” he urged. The ruler tiredly sat up. “You better have a good excuse to wake me up at this hour.”

But the clanging of a warning bell and the sounds of yells were enough to speak for themselves.

The cat rose out of bed and peered out the window. The jungle dwellers were fighting claw to claw with the border guards. Some were firing green energy of their own, slowly making their way toward the city. In the town square, the Shadow clan had infiltrated the area, scaring the townsfolk and setting houses ablaze with their ki.

“They have declared war on us!” he spat. “I should have listened to Anucat and Paw Ra’s warnings several days ago.”

He turned to his messenger. “Warn the others. Make sure the palace is heavily guarded and escort any refugees to one of our kitchens.”

“Yes, my lord,” he said with a bow.

The pharaoh dressed in his royal garb and rubbed his eyes. Another messenger appeared in front of him. “Sire, your subjects Lord Vodka and his children are requesting your presence. They are at your front door as we speak.”

“Bring them in.”

“They also brought thieves with them.”

The pharaoh watched from his throne has Vodka carried the two intruders by the scruffs of their necks. Thus the second traumatic event took place.

“I’m sorry to disturb you, your majesty,” he said with a bow. “But my sons found these two scumbags invading our home. There was a third one who killed my wife, who I believe, was the chief of the Furekishi clan.”

“I should have suspected that a revolution against our civilization would arise.” He glared at the two figures. “Speak.”

The Shadow cat, Noir, spoke first. “With all due respect,” he said in a silky voice hinting of deceit, “we were only arriving here because we have run out of food to hunt. My leader ordered me to attack…”

The pharaoh held up his hand. “I don’t believe that for an instant. If your clan was so hungry, why not change your sleeping habits to match the rest of us?”

“My people have always been nocturnal!” Noir protested. “If we don’t get enough to eat, because some people decide to steal our food for fun…”

“And yet, your people decided to join with Furekishi and Sukoi at the same time?”

“Only to take back the wealth and resources that were originally ours to begin with,” spat Frostan, the blue cat. “Your rules and high demands for taxes have influenced the rest of our clans. You used to trade fairly with the jungle clan and our people as well. What happened?”

“Purr Ra summoned me to see him and he ordered me to conquer more land and gather more offerings. It was a sign that I would be rewarded…rewarded for saving my people and preparing them for the end of the world.”

“That’s preposterous!” yowled the blue cat.

Just then, Noir smiled, a row of white fangs glinting in the light. “Oh yes, it will be the end of your tyrannical world…and the beginning of a better world for the rest of us!”

The pharaoh turned to Vodka. “I am disappointed in you as well. What nerve do you have to not warn me of the impending danger?”

“W-well,” he stuttered. “the great feline mother Catis said that there would be nothing to worry about…”

“And yet Purr Ra said otherwise,” the Pharaoh argued. “He warned me from the beginning that a revolution would take place…and if it were to succeed, it would mean the end of my reign. I should have destroyed those other clans in the first place!”

“I’m sure Purr Ra was trying to tell you…something else?” suggested Vodka. “That maybe war is not the best option.

The pharaoh hissed in rage. “You dare question me and the god that only I can worship?! My judgement and intuition have always been right. I just should’ve listened to it sooner.”

He glared at the two young boys. “And your sons…Anucat, the Lord of the Dead warned me last night of someone working inside my kingdom…someone that could raise two individuals. He said that two individuals with extraordinary powers would eventually overthrow me.”

He leaned in closer and growled at Beerus and Champa. “If only I had known sooner that it would be the sons of one of my loyal supporting lords all along…”

“Your majesty, it’s not like that! They’re just kids.”

“Kids, you say? Kids that could replace me in an instant once fully grown. There is a special punishment for those who insult the pharaoh.

He raised his hand and a fiery purple blast shot from it. Beerus and Champa rolled to the side, dodging the lethal blast. Vodka ran in the other direction, but the blast had already made impact. A terrible shrieking sound escaped his throat as he was consumed by the blast. Soon, there was nothing left, but a pile of dust from where their father used to be.

“No!” cried Champa.

Wasting no time, Beerus grabbed his brother by his pudgy arm and raced down the steps into the night.  

The pharaoh sent his finest warriors after the runaway brothers. Beerus and Champa flew as fast as their energy would allow them. They took turns firing their energy at the guards, some hitting them and some missing. There were still too many of them to count.

Just as both of them were cornered by the royal guards against a rock, an unseen force knocked them backwards. The guards had been knocked out by one blow.

“What was that?” asked Champa.

“I don’t know,” Beerus replied.

“I want to go home,” Champa cried. “I miss mother and father.”

“Me too,” Beerus replied solemnly. For the first time in years, Beerus wrapped his arms around him. For once, Champa didn’t complain. Beerus sighed. “But we can’t go back now. The entire kingdom will be searching for us under the pharaoh’s orders. Plus none of the other clans will let us into theirs.”

“Perhaps we can help,” said a higher pitched voice.

Champa and Beerus looked up toward the night sky and saw two floating figures carrying staffs.

“Who are you?” Champa demanded. He fired a series of purple energy blasts but the figures easily evaded them.

The figures came out of the shadows. One was male and taller, wearing a sash with diamonds on the front. His clothing was colored red and his white hair stood up, curling slightly back. The other figure was a woman in a green dress with a sash decorated with several circles on the front. She wore white high heels and wore her white hair in a ponytail. Bothe had light blue skin and white yes.

The taller man introduced himself. “Greetings! My name is Whis, and I am the angel of Universe 7. This is my elder sister Vados from Universe 6.”

“We were sent here by our father, the Grand Priest to search for destroyer god candidates,” Vados explained. “Both of your powers grow higher every day. Even beings such as ourselves have never seen anything like it.”

“Yeah, that’s what everyone keeps saying,” Champa muttered crossing his arms. Beerus glared at the angels. “Did the pharaoh send you here to kill us too?”

“Nonsense,” Whis answered with a giggle. “We came to recruit you two to become Gods of Destruction. It is their job to destroy other worlds in order to keep the universes in balance.”

“Oh great, more work?” asked Champa. “Someone kill me now.”

“If you take this job, you won’t have to worry about getting killed,” said Vados.

Champa stared at her. “You mean…I could become immortal?”

“Both of you can,” said Whis. “You would need to undergo some training and supervision, plus meet the other potential Gods of Destruction from the other universes.”

“But our parents…” Champa said softly, looking forlornly back at the city in the distance.

“Champa,” Beerus mentioned. “We have nowhere else to go, remember? This could be our once chance to prove how powerful we could become. This is our step to godhood…literally!”

“Well, all right,” Champa said after a moment.

“What else is in it for me?” Beerus asked.

Whis smiled at Beerus and stared at him like he could read his mind. In which case, he probably was. “I’ll provide you with the most exquisite and hearty feasts you could ever imagine. Feasts that even your pharaoh could only dream of! Even better you’ll get to travel around your assigned universe to search for food on occasion.”

“Plus, long cat naps,” added Vados.

“We’re in!” both brothers said at the same time.

Then they both glared at each other. “It’s so on, Champa!”

“Likewise, Beerus,” he spat.

Both angels laughed. “Whis?” Vados asked. “You should choose which of the brothers you’d like to assist.”

“Oh right,” he said. He pointed at Beerus. “I think the two of us will have tons of fun discussing various meals. You seem to enjoy food as much as I do.”

“Very well,” Beerus replied.

“And you, Champa,” added Vados. “You’re coming with me to Universe 6. The first thing we need to discuss is a suitable diet for you.”

She glanced at Champa’s fat belly and the cat scowled. “I don’t think so!”

And so, the two brothers departed to their respective universes, but not before Beerus destroyed his home planet, for good measure.

Birthday Bashed

Thousands of years later, Beerus and Champa had gathered to celebrate their birthday, as they had been born on the same day. Whis and Vados were busy creating a feast of the gods’ favorite foods, including an egg for Champa and ramen and pudding for Beerus. Vados hummed as she put the finishing touches on a giant cake with pink frosting around the sides. She observed the bag of fruit puff puff toppings and giggled, placing on of them on top of the cake. Beerus and Champa awoke from their separate rooms on the giant spaceship and walked from their rooms. Their mouths immediately watered at the sight of the delicacies placed on the table in front of them.

“Happy Birthday Champa!” Vados sang. Champa purred and wagged his stubby tail.

“Happy Birthday Beerus!” Whis sang but Beerus put up his hand and growled. “Whis, no singing from the likes of you!” The unfazed angel giggled under his hand.

The brothers’ yellow eyes widened at the pink cake in front of them. They blew out each of their candles, which resulted in a nearby window shattering to pieces. Vados sighed and waved her staff to repair the damage. “Be glad that there were no planets nearby, my Lord,” she mentioned.

Champa eyed the puff puff on the cake but Beerus grabbed it and popped it into his mouth.

“Hey!” Champa yelled. “That was mine!”

‘You snooze you lose,” Beerus taunted.

“It’s my birthday!”

“It’s mine as well!” Beerus argued.

Asteroids and ringed planets around them exploded as they fought each other and sped by. “You’ll never get away with this, Beerus!” yelled Champa as he chased after him.  

Champa chased after Beerus and fired a series of blasts at him.

“They’ll follow you wherever you go!” Champa taunted.

“Darn!” Beerus cursed, dodging the blasts as they came closer. He crossed his arms, forming a quick shield of energy, the blasts impacting it.

Champa flew over to Beerus. “How dare you eat the puff puff fruit…sitting on top of the birthday cake before me!”

Both gods landed on a platform of rock. Champa growled, “You asshole, how could you. Beerus…”

“Well it is my birthday! What did you expect?” Beerus asked, his hands on his hips.

“It’s our birthday, not just yours!!!” Champa fired back.

Vados sighed and rolled her eyes, standing beside Whis as they watched the brothers duke it out.

“Was this your idea all along?” Whis asked Vados.

Vado giggled. “I thought getting a birthday cake for the both of them would be the ideal situation…clearly I was wrong…”

Champa landed a punch at Beerus, who blocked it with his hand. “Planet sweets may make plenty of amazing cakes…but that puff puff fruit was a masterpiece!!”

Beerus grinned. “Ah yes, I’m well aware…after all, my universe has a planet sweets as well.”

Champa swiped his arm to slap Beerus, but Beerus ducked his head just in time. “Screw yours! My 6^th Universe’s is way more delicious!”

Beerus stuck out his tongue and hoped from rock to rock.

Champa raised a sphere of destruction. “This is on you…I don’t give a damn what happens to this universe anymore!”

Beerus responded with a sphere of his own. “Just what I’d been waiting to hear…”

“This will not do…” Whis mentioned. The he proceeded to slap Beerus on the neck, knocking him to the ground. Vados proceeded to do the same to Champa.

“If both of you have that much confidence in your cuisine,” suggested Whis, “Then how about having a food contest next time?”

“Yes…let’s do that next time…I’ll never lose to you, Beerus…” Champa groaned.

“Just what I’ve been waiting to hear…” muffled Beerus. 

Beerus Saga scenes

“Here goes nothing,” said a young Goten, adjusting the trigger on his water gun. He rolled out from his hiding spot and braced himself on the yacht.

Goten gasped in surprise as water splashed on his head. Trunks was shooting water from up above and laughing.

“Ah man!” complained Goten.

“I got you, Goten!” Trunks laughed as he sprayed him with water again. The two kids chased each other on the boat deck.

Whis and Beerus watched from a distance.

“They’re only half Saiyans and hardly out of their training pads,” Beerus remarked.

“The older one doesn’t seem the fighting sort,” Whis mentioned, glancing at Gohan and Videl.

Beerus sighed and leaned against the rail. “Once again, the trail has gone cold. Where’s that Super Saiyan God hiding?”

“Sorry for the wait!” called an anxious Vegeta. He leapt onto the deck and presented a platter of food to Beerus, sliding forward and going on one knee. “A pyramid of tayioki balls.”

“Nice work,” said Beerus.

‘Thank you,” said Whis, both deities taking some. “At least the food here isn’t cold.”

Beerus flipped the chopstick in his clawed hand, the other hand behind his head.

“Yes indeed, but my stomach is filling up and I don’t know where else to look on this planet or otherwise. Really, I’ll just go home and take another nap.

‘Yes, that’s right, you monster! Get back to your own world!’ thought Vegeta.

So Prince Vegeta,” asked Beerus.

“Yes sir.”

“Did that Saiyan on King Kai’s world, who I already forgot his name…”

“Goku, my Lord,” said Whis.

“Yes, that’s right, Goku. What exactly is your relationship to that fighter?”

“He’s my enemy, but we made a truce.”

“A truce you say?” Beerus asked. “Do you accept that?”

“Saiyans have changed during my nap, at least those who survived. You’ve become downright godlike.”

Water suddenly splashed the god in the face. Goten and Trunks stared in horror.

“We’re sorry!” said Trunks.

“We didn’t mean to!” added Goten.

The boys ran off in fright.

Panic driven thoughts ran through Vegeta’s mind. ‘What have those rugrats done?!’

“Are you angry, my Lord?” asked Whis.

“Do I look angry?” Beerus asked.

“Well, yes.”

“No, Whis. No one is saying I’m angry…Furious is more like it!”

Beerus quickly powered up and rose into the sky, purple energy expanding from him.

Vegeta yelled in a panic and jumped into the ocean.

“What in the world is he doing?” Beerus asked.

“I don’t know,” Whis replied.

Vegeta lifted an entire octopus from the ocean and tossed it into the air. He then fired a blast at it, the creature exploding. He carried an octopus tentacle, pushed aside a chef, and got to work. He even put on an apron and carefully cleaned the holes from a nearby pan.

He called out to Beerus, prepare yourself for the tastiest and fluffiest octopus you ever tasted!”

“Can you hold the wasabi this time?” called Krillen.

“Hard to stay angry when the Saiyan prince plays the jester,” Beerus mentioned.

“And getting mad does stimulate your appetite. If you’d had your fill of appetizers, there a desert called pudding that seems to be a specialty here.”

“Pudding you say?” Beerus asked.

Whis smiled. “Yes, it’s most delicious with a velvety texture to die for.”

“Then why are we waiting? Show me at once.”

“Of course.”

Frieza Resurrected

Golden Frieza stared at Beerus in shock. “Beerus?” he asked.

Beerus and Whis were standing down below, enjoying a large strawberry ice cream sundae with strawberries on the sides.

“That’s not polite, Frieza, you forgot to say ‘Lord.’”

“Lord Beerus, that’s what I meant. What are you doing here?”

“Well I would have thought that was obvious!” said Beerus. “I stopped by to eat this fantastic sundae!”

“But, but Lord Beerus I came here for vengeance! Are you planning to intervene?”

“Now why would I possibly care about that? You’re free to do as you please, Frieza. But just do it farther away from my ice cream. I don’t want to confuse your combat dust with sprinkles.”

Frieza stared in confusion.

“Then you seriously didn’t come to stop me?”

Beerus was getting annoyed. “I just told you to do as you please. I’m a destroyer god. I am not here to take sides.”

Battle of Gods

Far away in the depths of the galaxy was a planet that wasn’t shaped like a planet at all. The bottom half was made of a shiny metallic substance that seemed to be supporting a small land mass. It looked like an upside down pyramid building, with the tower pointing downwards. Up above was a large tree with bare branches at the top. Various moons surrounded the bizarre place. Upon closer inspection, the landmass of grass actually consisted of vast forest trees of varying shades of green and dark blue. White buildings, including a small white palace was built into the trunk, all the way to the top. A blast and a puff of smoke went off with a bang from the uppermost building, scaring away flocks of white birds.

Inside the palace, amethyst crystals lined the edges of a spiral path that went downward. Sun light from the roof and through round white windows nearby cast a shining light on the mineral surfaces. Walking with his arms behind his back, a tall figure emerged from the shadows, walking down the path. He had a pale blue face and white hair that stood straight up and curled slightly toward the back. Like all angels, a large light blue ring surrounded his face and neck, not attached to anything. A black, elegant outfit covered his body and a sash with diamond shapes hung neatly from his waist. The angel watched with mild interest as a rock fell down from the roof, crashing into the abyss at the bottom. Unfazed, he continued on his way.

The smoke cleared, revealing a vast chamber of floating rocks and giant hovering hourglasses surrounded by light spheres. The mouth of a stone serpent revealed another hourglass inside. The angel coughed through a white cloth and cleared his throat.

“Lord Beerus, it’s time. Time to wake up.”

A man’s long purple cat ears perked up at the sound. A small ring was attached to one of his ears.

“…and don’t fall back asleep.”

Beerus was a humanoid cat being with a long purple tail, claws, and sharp teeth. The white nightgown was worn and torn with age…the deity had slept for 39 years. Currently, he was curled up comfortably on red sheets on a floating golden round bed.

The angel continued, “Recall that it was you yourself, after all, who set the alarm bomb to go off at this time. Hate to see you oversleep over your backup alarms.”

Two hourglasses flashed light purple and exploded loudly, shaking the room.

“Fine, Whis,” Beerus groaned tiredly. “I’m up. Oh but it’s so cozy…”

Whis nodded in relief. “I just don’t want you sleeping 15 years too late and waking up groggy like the last time. But if you require some more coddling…”

He cleared his throat and held up a microphone.

“I’m always happy to show off my vocal range with a singing performance to arouse you.”

‘No, not that,’ Beerus thought. ‘Anything but…’

“La la la,” Whis sang shrilly with an opera tone. “Lazy Beerus, will you get up, will you…”

“I SAID I’M UP!” the cat responded. Still tired, he magically floated from his golden bed. He fell with a slow flip onto a nearby rock. He pushed himself backwards with his knees and fell on another rock. He flipped across the way and landed on all fours on another rock. He comically walked off the rock and paused in the air. He tapped his right foot and fell sharply with a thud. Reaching over the small ledge, he flipped over it and rolled into a heap in front of Whis. He wore a golden collar around his neck. A huge yawn revealed his sharp feline teeth. He licked his purple hand and rubbed his nose.

“To count as truly restful slumber, I have to get at least 50 years. 39 is little more than a catnap.”

“Lord Beerus, again, it was you who chose this wake-up time,” Whis explained, “and if I may, why did you choose this date?”

“There’s something I need to check for myself.”

Whis stared at Beerus. “Well, in any case, I’ve prepared a bath for you. Go on before it gets cold.”

But the noncompliant god was lying on the floor, resting his head on his arms. Like a cat, he scratched his face with his foot. “I’d rather not. You know I hate baths.”

“You are covered from soot from those explosions, Lord, and after your nap, I’m sure you’ve got mold in your ears.”

Beerus didn’t respond.

“Now!” Whis ordered sternly.

Beerus sat on the floor, his back turned to Whis. “What if I refuse?” he asked like a disobedient child.

“Beerus the destroyer may be powerful, but boy does he stink up a room!” He plugged his nose dramatically. “Soon they’ll start calling you the destroyer of noses.” Whis smiled playfully.

“Whis…” said a frustrated Beerus, “Your pitiful attempts at humor make me want to go back to sleep.”

He turned to his attendant, and gave a small smile. His eyes were golden yellow. “Maybe I should destroy you.”

‘Fat chance of that,’ Whis thought. ‘I have a higher power level than you.’

Nevertheless, Beerus had to take his bath anyway. Soon, the two individuals were feasting in an elaborate dining room. The large windows revealed a vast aquarium full of exotic fish of all shapes and sizes. Giant eels, jellyfish and a large eel with fangs also roamed underwater. The amount of food covered the entire table. Some of the food appeared to be the skins of reptiles and aliens. Beerus happily munched on his food in a new bathrobe.  He sat on one of the many hovering white chairs. Whis was busy cutting a slab of meat with a knife at the other end of the table.

“I’m curious, Whis. While I enjoyed my all-too-brief slumber, did that upstart Frieza manage to eradicate Planet Vegeta for me?”

“Yes,” Whis replied. “Without a trace, in fact.”

“Ahh good to hear it,” said Beerus contently. “I could have given the bumbling upstarts on that planet an eternity to shape up, but they’d still be nothing but trouble. I mean, I would have been happy to blow up the whole planet myself, but it’s so off the beaten path, wouldn’t you agree? I’d rather use that time for a nap. Though that said, I’m no fan of Frieza’s, either. So self-important. If we cross paths again, I’ll gladly wipe the entitled bugger out.”

Beerus used a fork to put a piece of meat into his mouth.

“Impossible, I’m afraid,” Whis replied. “During your nap, someone already defeated Frieza.”

Beerus swallowed quickly. “What?! Someone more powerful than Frieza?”

Whis poured a magenta colored drink and a yellow drink from two different vases into a mug, resulting in a tasty orange drink.

“Allow me to explain,” said Whis. He held out his right hand and his staff flew into it. He tapped the end of it on the floor and green 3d holographic triangles lit up the room. From his staff, a green sphere of light rose up from the top. The images showed a flashback of Goku going Super Saiyan and fighting Frieza.

“Funny, this Saiyan looks strangely familiar,” mentioned Beerus. “Who’s that man in orange and blue?”

“He’s a Saiyan, answers to the names both Kakarot and Goku,” Whis explained.

Outside, a sea turtle was swallowed whole by a giant monster fish.

Beerus narrowed his eyes and scratched his face with a clawed finger in thought. “When you said Planet Vegeta was no more, I assumed the same went for the Saiyans.”

“Yes, it’s true, most of them did perish,” said Whis. “However, a few who happened to be on other worlds at the time were spared. Including, I should mention, the King’s heir, Prince Vegeta.”

Beerus watched Goku fighting Frieza with his hair golden and bright. “Isn’t Saiyan hair supposed to be black?” he asked. “I have to say, I’m surprised a Saiyan could be capable of defeating Frieza.”

Beerus tapped a miniature model of a planet with his finger, and it instantly crumbled to dust in his palm.

Whis continued. “Well the Saiyans have harnessed a technique, a potent method of powering up whereby they transform into what they call a Super Saiyan.”

“What was that?” asked Beerus. The name sounded familiar to him. He lounged in his chair in different positions, trying to wrap his mind around the concept. “Super Saiyan. Super Saiyan, huh? Aha, that’s it. That’s exactly what it was.”

Beerus was now floating in his chair in front of the projection from Whis’ staff.

“Sorry, what was it?” asked Whis, confused.

“It was Super Saiyan, something. Super Saiyan…God! Yes, I had a dream about it! A vivid dream where I fought against a super Saiyan God who looked just like this one!” he declared, mentioning to Goku.

“You know what it was, don’t you?” Beerus asked Whis. “A premonition. A Premonition!”

“And you’re sure it wasn’t just a dream?” Whis asked calmly. He tapped his staff on the ground and the holographic images vanished. “Forgive me, but your premonitions…they don’t have much history of coming to fruition, do they?”

“Argh!” Beerus spat, landing on his chair. Whis leaned in and whispered in his ear. “If you’ll recall, your dream you had a while back about the pop star moving here didn’t exactly pan out.”

Beerus growled under his breath. “You’re mocking me aren’t you?”

Beerus jumped out of his chair, determined to prove his vision was correct to Whis. “Fine. Come with me, Whis.”

Whis followed Beerus to the outside world on their planet. The sky was a usual light pink, with the moons in the sky.

“Seer? Oracle Fish, where are you?” called Beerus as he and Whis walked down the path.

A speak of light shone in the sky before a magic staff came flying down haphazardly. A small fish bowl was attached to the top of the staff, where a small, eel-like fish resided.

The staff crashed to the ground, before swaying upwards in front of Whis and Beerus.

“I was taking a walk, what is it?” asked the seer.

Beerus leaned in.  

“39 years ago, did you not prophesize that in 39 years time, an arch rival worthy of me would appear?”

The fish moved its head, silent in thought. “Did I say that?”

Beerus stared deadpan at the forgetful fish. “Yes, that’s what you said.”

“Um…I guess I did!”

“See?” Beerus smiled at Whis. “Did you hear that? The seer’s prophecy confirms my premonition. An arch rival of mine will reveal itself soon…and he shall be a Super Saiyan God!”

Whis rolled his eyes and sighed. “This all sounds rather far-fetched to me. It’s difficult to imagine one such as yourself having an arch rival, Lord Beerus-sama.”

“Well even if the Oracle fish did exaggerate the strength of his particular fellow, this fascinating adversary is due to emerge. And that’s why I prematurely awoke from my slumber.”

“Oh I see,” Whis replied. “That’s one mystery solved.”

Beerus danced in the air, then sat sown on a tree trunk. Whis sat on a nearby lower trunk from a branch.

“So, I take it this means you intend to pay a visit to the Saiyans?”

“Of course I do,” said Beerus, his tail swishing left and right. “I must track down this so called Super Saiyan God.”

“Super Saiyan God. Such a grandiose over the top name, isn’t it?” Whis asked to himself. Sounds tacky if you ask me.”

He looked through the black orb in his staff and located Earth from an image of space.

“And I’ve located them. It would appear that most of the surviving Saiyans, by my count five of them, are currently in 4032 Green on Planet 877. It’s a little world called Earth.”

“Is that right?” Beerus asked, stretching his neck. “I’m pretty sure I’ve been to that planet before, though it’s been a while. Wasn’t that the one with all those dinosaur creatures with their attitude problems? They were so rude, I drove them all to extinction!”

“Now this is odd,” muttered Whis. “One of them, the same Saiyan who defeated Frieza, in fact, is at this very moment, on north King Kai’s world for some reason.”

“A Saiyan at Kai’s place is quite suspicious,” Beerus added. “What could it mean?”

He jumped down from the tree. “Tell me, Whis, how long would it take for us to get there?”

“Roughly 26 minutes,” Whis replied.

Beerus moved and stretched his head and bent it to the side. “So about the average length of your average anime episode! I hate long flights! But what choice is there? I’ll suck it up and go.”

“All right, we’ll depart at once! To the planet of the North Kai!” Whis declared.

“Boo-yeah!” Beerus cheered after spinning around and posing in an Egyptian style dance. Whis tapped his staff to the ground and the two immortals were shot up in a burst of light into the sky and throughout space.


 “Oh yes, that was fun, somewhat, at least,” Beerus said with a stretch, sitting on the grass of his home planet. “There’s no way to deny it, but his latent ability is hard to fathom and there’s great potential yet to be tapped. Still, he’s not strong enough to be called and arch rival.”

The god flopped onto the grass on his back, hands behind his head in a relaxed position.

“Perhaps not,” added Whis, “but it’s been a very long time since you’ve had to use nearly 70% of your power, and that must have been quite exciting for you.”

“Yeah, I’m already forgetting, what was his name again?”

“Goku.”

A pink Loch Ness monster poked its head out from the water for a moment, staring at the two deities. Then it disappeared back into the lake. Butterflies flew around white daises in the grass.

“Between him and Vegeta, I may soon have my arch rival after all,” stated Beerus.

“I believe you enjoyed yourself,” Whis mentioned.

“Well, you obviously did,” Beerus remarked, remembering how Whis stuffed his face with food nearly the entire time.

“Things get dull after living this long,” said Whis. “Anything new becomes priceless and I don’t sleep, so the need to cure the boredom is even worse for me.”

“Speaking of sleep,” Beerus said, stretching and standing up, “I’m feeling absolutely exhausted, so I think I’ll take a quick 3 year nap.”

“Only three years?” Whis asked. “But that hardly counts as anything to you. I assumed you would want to sleep for much longer.” For humans, it would be like taking a three minute nap.

Beeris smiled. “It’s all I can stand. There seemed to be many more novelties to try on earth. I gotta get back soon!” He licked his lips.

Whis giggled. “So that’s the real reason you spared Earth. Sure the people were fine, but you’d hate to miss out on the food.”

“I admit nothing,” replied the god.

“Oh right the food, I almost forgot,” Whis exclaimed.

The angel pulled out a box and showed it to Beerus. “I had them pack up some of their delicious earthling delicacies for us. They call it sushi and I think you’ll enjoy it.”

Beerus sniffed the box with happiness.

“Would you like to try some or are you too tired? You could go straight to bed.”

“Hmm and let you have it all yourself?” Beerus asked with a smile. “Nice try, Whis, but I think you’ve hogged enough Earth food already. I’m not missing out on this time.”

Beerus flew up to a tree trunk and sat down. Whis flew up toward him as Beerus opened the box.

To his delight, Beerus saw a colorful concoction of pink and white meats, sushi wrapped in dark seaweed and other types of seafood.

“Oh my! Does look delicious. Where should I start?”

Whis picked up a small black bottle. “I’m told you apply a few drops of this liquid they call soy sauce. They need one piece at a time.”

Beerus picked up a round green ball with his chopsticks. “And what is this pale green lump from the outside?”

“Let me think…” said Whis. “Oh, yes, the chef said it was wasabi. He told me you culd eat it if you’d like, but some think it kinda tastes overwhelming.”

“I see,” said Beerus, observing it. ‘Now that you mention it, you were talking to that chef for a while…when you should have been watching me fight!” Beerus narrowed his eyes as Whis widened his in surprise for a second.

“Why don’t I go get us a drink?” he mentioned, floating away to avoid the conversation.

“Bottoms up!” said Beerus, plunking the entire ball into his mouth. He chewed for several seconds and then…

A burning acid like taste filled his mouth, nose, and head. His face turned beet red and sweat poured from his face. The god screamed in pain, rising up and spiraling through the air. He bounced off the nearby moons like a ping pong ball, destroying all seven of them.

“That’s enough!” Whis demanded. With one swipe of his hand, Whis sent Beerus to the ground, knocking him out cold.

After the blackness faded, Beerus stretched and yawned. He opened his eyes and rubbed his head, finding himself on his round golden cat bed. He was wearing a new white nightgown.

“That wasn’t very nice,” he said to Whis.

“I had to, my Lord,” the angel replied. “You were taking out your temper on those innocent worlds.

“Hmpth!” Beerus scoffed. “It’s that wasabi fire poison that’s to blame.” He stood up and declared, “Well, they’ll pay for it! I’m going back to earth to destroy it right now!”

Whis closed his eyes in frustration. “Oh come now. You think that seems fair? They said it was intense. Nobody forced you to shove the whole blob of it in your mouth at once.”

Beerus considered his words. “Fine,” he replied angrily. “I’ll only destroy them if their sushi tastes bad without their demon topping. Is that fair enough for you?!”

He then sat down and picked up the box of sushi. He picked up the pieces of fish with chopsticks and placed them in his mouth, one by one. After eleven quick bites and an empty box in front of him, he took a sip of a water to wash it down. He sighed happily and licked his lips.

“Okay, they can live quietly in three years,” Beerus admitted.

“Tastes lovely doesn’t it?” Whis asked happily.

“Yep,” Beerus agreed. Then he let out a long sigh and stretched. “Well, good night.” He curled up on his golden bed, which floated up on its own accord back up onto a floating rock. Whis turned a nearby hourglass upside down. Then the angel remembered something,

“Oh wait, you can’t sleep yet! You haven’t brushed your teeth!”

“Alright, alright, you really can be a pest.” 

Dragon Ball Super scene

On another planet, Beerus was sitting in a dining room on a throne-like chair, being served endless dishes of colorful foods. Two large dishes as high and large as boulders, were pulled into place with large strings from above.

A king that looked like a boar with a black beard, bowed to Beerus. “Lord Beerus, please help yourself to this royal feast. Each course has been meticulously been crafted by our world’s finest chefs and I can assure you, their creations are the definition of exquisite.”

“Is that so?” Beerus asked, narrowing his yellow cat eyes. “Well, then, we’ll see about that.”

Beerus stared at the entire blue fish on a plate, blue fanged worms cooked in a pie, a blue fish in purple sauce, and a cooked octopus in a bowl. Beerus picked up a blue ball and squeezed it, revealing worms inside. He used his fork to pick at purple and green slugs on another plate. He sniffed another plate with pieces of fish meat on it. A dark green reptile head was on another plate.

“Please remember your manners, Lord Beerus,” Whis chided.

The sight of the food was enough to make Beerus sick inside. He tapped a drink in a martini glass with his fork. “And what’s this?” he asked. It was a purple drink with what looked like fruit on the top.

The alien boar chefs and butlers stood silent and scared in a line. They knew that one mishap could mean the end of their existence.

The king cleared his throat and one of the chefs nervously rattled on about the beverage. Something about organically grown olives

“Are you serious?” Beerus asked, unpleasantly.  “Arapurataneiz? “What an insufferable name.”

The chef’s face turned blue. Beerus poured the entire contents into his mouth and swallowed.

The boars waited anxiously in silence.

“Tastier than I expected,” mentioned Beerus, “and the use of salt is…divine.”

The boar king beamed. “Thank you my lord, so you won’t…”

“However…there’s a greasy mouthfeel which is odd of what I assume is…desert? Tell you what, I’ll only take half.”

 “Half, my Lord?”

Beerus tapped his finger on the table and half the yellow planet instantly exploded.

Beerus watched the destruction, picking at his teeth with a devious grin.

“A bit harsh for food you call tasty, wouldn’t you say, my Lord?”

“All that grease is unhealthy. Makes you sluggish all day. I’ve done this galaxy a favor.”

Xenoverse 2

Beerus: Did that senile Supreme Kai address me without the title of “Lord?” I’ll remember this…

Beerus: Hmph. This isn’t quite Super Saiyan God. I trust I won’t be totally bored?

Beerus: Because if I am, someone’s getting destroyed.

Beerus: Bear in mind that you’re speaking to a God.

Beerus: I’ll send you flying from that high horse with a single flick!

Beerus: And you, Kais! I know you love your little pets. But using the God of Destruction like this while you lounge about…Let’s just say it’s gonna cost you. And I’ll be by to collect personally!

Beerus: Thanks to Bulma, I’ve become quite the connoisseur! It’ll take more than an exotic dish or two to satisfy me!

Elder Kai: Who would have imagined he’d be such a picky eater? Ever tried katsudon?

Beerus: Mm I like the sound of it. What is it?

Elder Kai: You know tonkatsu right? Pork/ Breaded, deep-fried? Slap that on a bowl of hot rice with a scrambled egg and onion.

Beerus: Wait, but wouldn’t the crispiness of the pork be destroyed by the juicy bed of goodness below?!

Elder Kai: Before creation comes destruction, no? That fried pork is enveloped in eggy heaven. Equal parts succulence and crunchiness! Bon Appetit, baby.

Beerus: In all my eons!

Elder Kai: I can tell you want some. You want some don’t you?

Beerus: Eh I’m bored and it’s almost nap time. Can I go now?

*Vados appears*

Beerus; Great. My least favorite person’s director of comic relief…Can I just destroy everything?

Supreme Kai, Please, no.

Elder Kai: Lemme sweeten the deal and throw in some desert! All I’m asking is to just see this thing through would you?

Beerus: Fine, have it your way.

*OC not focusing*

Beerus; You’re hopeless, I swear. Can you at least pretend not to notice me?

*Battle with Cell*

Beerus: Let’s see. Nope. Not coming along on this. You’ll do fine on your own, kid.

Elder Kai: There’s no reasoning with him.

Supreme Kai: In all honesty, it was to be expected.

Beerus: I have some tasty snacks to attend to. Important god stuff ya know? See you later.

Elder Kai: Would have been easier if a certain god did more than stuff his face.

Beerus: I’m hungry. I think I’ll head back and have something to eat. Hey Whis! Food!

Beerus: You’re back, finally. I was so bored, I was thinking about destroying this place.

Beerus; These mortals and their baseless confidence. It boggles even the gods.

Vegito: Hey, who’s the cat?

Beerus; You dare call the God of Destruction a cat? You’ve got some nerve, mortal.

Supreme Kai: Lord Beerus, I almost forgot Bulma was asking for you. Did you have plans with her by any chance?

Beerus; Plans…wait yes! We were going to try an aquatic Earth delicacy. “Sea urchin.” You’ve got this covered? Of course you do.

Elder Kai: High maintenance, gourmet gobbling,

Supreme Kai: Keep your voice down!

Beerus: I’m not sure what’s going on, but leave me out of any mortal bickering. You seem capable enough to handle this. I’ve got an important nap to attend to.

Elder Kai: I can’t really believe that guy.

Supreme Kai: That’s Lord Beerus for you.

Beerus: You guys might have a point here. (Zamasu’s) too preachy for his own good. As a God of Destruction, however, messing with the past isn’t exactly my thing. Not to mention, it’s a royal pain in the ass. This is more your department. Well, I’m gonna head back. Try not to screw up, ok?

Beerus: I was gonna leave everything to you and go back until I felt a strange energy. Fu was it? The energy, explain now. You’re using us for something and you won’t tell us what it is. That’s not very fair now, is it? Spill it. If I don’t like the reason, I’ll destroy you.

Beerus: Hm? I’m sensing an odd energy. Interesting. I’m the God of Destruction. Please don’t involve me in your petty squabbles. Unless, you’re looking to get destroyed.

Elder Kai: He’s not up to the task. What else is new?

Beerus: What was that?

Beerus: *yawn, Time for my afternoon nap. I suppose I’ll get some shut eye over there. You can handle this on your own, right? Good luck and all that.

Elder Kai: I knew it. A useless excuse for a nap.

Beerus: I can hear you and destroy you.

Beerus: It seems there’s no one here. How dare they not come greet us! This is strange. You, come here. We’re going to Conton City.

Beerus: They’ve all been turned to stone. It seems we may have an uninvited guest on our hands. We had better head over to the Time Vault. Our unwelcome visitor may be there.

Beerus: Only those with a death wish are bold enough to bark orders at me. Prepare to be destroyed!

Champa: Universe 7…I’m gonna destroy you guys!

Champa: You think you’re so special, eating amazing food you can’t find in Universe 6. Those days are over, Beerus!

Beerus: Drop the tough guy act, Champa. You’re not fooling anyone.

Champa: Urgh, you saw through that, didn’t you? You’re no fun. I was hoping to mess you up and blame it on that Dabura clown.

Beerus: Your universe may be inferior, but you’re still in charge of it, so you shouldn’t be following orders from anyone.

Champa: Hey, what do you mean “inferior?” Whatever.  I’ll play this whole thing by ear I guess.

Beerus: Not that I care, but you better make sure that Dabura fellow doesn’t catch wind of your ruse. If you don’t watch what you’re doing, the Supreme Kai of Time could end up getting killed.

Champa; I don’t need you to tell me that! What a pain! Universe 7, man you guys suck!

Beerus; Damn that Champa, full of himself as usual.

Champa: Argh that was a close one! Hey Beerus! You’re taking this a little too seriously don’t you think?

Beerus: Isn’t it obvious? If we show any signs of going easy on each other, Dabura will realize what’s going on.

Champa: What the…you’re gonna pay for that! I’m gonna let loose a little bit.

Beerus: I wouldn’t dream of getting involved.

Beerus: Tokioki, I’ll destroy you if you don’t come out soon!

Beerus: While fighting as a god, you somehow absorbed its power. Very impressive, even for a truly rare talent.”

Beerus: We’re having a conversation, here!

Beerus: It’s very rude to barge in like that. Maybe I should destroy you.

Supreme Kai: Hold off on that please!

Beerus: And you are?

Supreme Kai: it’s been a while Lord Beerus. It’s me, the Supreme Kai of Time. We’re after some folks who are messing with space and time.

Beerus: Oh it’s you. I don’t know what you’re going on about but do make it quick.

Beerus: I’m telling you. The proper topping for a fried egg is ketchup!

Champa; The proper topping is a sprinkling of sugar. You have no taste!

Beerus; You seriously put sugar on everything? Are you a child or something? You must be an idiot.

Champa: Only idiots call people idiots!

Beerus: Ha! You’re the idiot. You just said idiot three times!

Champa: I did not you idi…I mean jerk!

Champa: Universe 7…I’m gonna destroy you guys! You think you’re so special, eating amazing food you can’t find in Universe 6…those days are over, Beerus!

Beerus: Drop the tough guy act, Champa. You’re not fooling anyone.

Champa: Ugh! You saw through that, huh? You’re no fun! I was hoping to mess you up and blame it on that Dabura clown.

Beerus: Your universe may be inferior, but you’re still in charge of it, so you shouldn’t be following orders from anyone.

Champa: Hey, what do you mean inferior? Whatever. I’ll play this thing by ear, I guess.

Beerus: If you don’t watch what you’re doing, the Supreme Kai of time could end up getting killed.

Champa: I don’t need you to tell me that! What a pain…

Champa: Universe 7…heh, you guys are the worst. Man, you guys suck!

Beerus: Damn that Champa. Full of himself as usual.

Champa: Argh! That was a close one! Hey Beerus, you’re taking this a little too seriously, don’t you think?

Beerus: All right, I’m tired of this. I can’t take any more. I’ve got half a mind to destroy you all right now!

Goku: Not like this! He’ll destroy everything!

Supreme Kai of time: Stop right there! I’m sending in my surprise! Hand it over to Lord Beerus!

Beerus: Oh my…it’s pudding! And a heaping helping of it, too!

Supreme Kai of time: If you promise not to destroy the universe you can have all of that pudding. Is it a deal?

Beerus: Yes, alright. Okay, no more fighting now! It’s pudding time!

Goku: Hey, could I have one of those? I’m starved.

Beerus: Help yourself. You want one too?

Whis: Might you spare me a cup as well? I can always send more if that isn’t enough.

Supreme Kai: That’s why I made tons of it!

Whis: Pardon me for one moment. Did you say that you made this pudding?

Supreme Kai: That’s right! I sure did!”

Beerus: Blech!

Goku: urgh..my stomach..I can’t move…

Whis: Oh, dear, he’s quite upset now. This won’t do at all. He must be subdued.

Whis: The last time he was this angry, he extinguished two suns. Supreme Kai of time, your cooking is the cause of this. It has driven the God of Destruction mad.

Supreme Kai: Oh? It’s nothing really.

Whis: Please. That was not a compliment. I would really like to avoid any further trouble.

Beerus: Whew…

Whis: You appear to have relaxed, Lord Beerus.

Goku: Yeah and my stomach cramps are finally gone, too.

Supreme Kai: I’m sorry, Lord Beerus. I couldn’t make any special lunch as an apology.

Beerus: Don’t you dare! Are you trying to kill me? I will have no more of your cooking. All of this has worn me out. Let’s go, Whis.

Whis: Yes, my Lord.

Beerus; Who cares about any of that! What happened to my cream puffs? I’m not going home on an empty stomach!

Beerus; That’s it, no one tricks a God of Destruction! Where’s that Towa woman? I’ll destroy her for good.

Beerus; Would you mind if I destroyed this place?

Supreme Kai; Please don’t do that!

Training with Beerus

Beerus: “What’s this? You’re, ah yes, that time patroller. We meet again. So…aren’t you curious as to why I’m here? Obviously, I’m here to train you. The Elder Kai asked me to come and help out. If nothing else, it’s a way to kill time. Interested in my techniques, are we? Oho…However, I can’t grant my teachings to just anyone. If you wish to learn my techniques, you need to prove your strength to me in a trial of combat. Of course, everyone who has tried has failed miserably. They were completely hopeless, no talent whatsoever. What happened to those who failed my test? They lived. Probably. So then, will you take my test too? From the looks of you, you might not totally bore me. Hmm, you look raring to go. Very well! Attack me if you dare.”

Lesson One: God of Destruction’s Anger – Fires a powerful ki blast that will put the opponent in guard break status on impact.

Beerus: “Very well. Let’s get this tiresome task out of the way. Demonstrate the techniques that I taught you until I tell you to stop. I will be your partner. If I’m satisfied, I will teach you more. Hmm, I suppose you’re showing some effort, at least. That will be enough. You pass. I will take you on as a student. I’ve always wanted to try my hand at teaching. Heh heh heh. This should be entertaining.”

Beerus: “Good. Good. At least that much strength is needed to become my student. Then it’s decided. You will come back at regular intervals to receive my training. You wouldn’t thrive under constant supervision by me, and me alone, after all. First, I would like you to consider the applications of the technique you just learned, and practice them in live combat.”

Beerus: “Hello! You’ve improved since we last spoke. How do you like the feel of my techniques? Perhaps we should move on to the next lesson, hmm? There’s somebody I’ve been wanting you to meet. And what do you know, he’s nearby. Who, you ask? Somebody you know quite well, heh heh. So let’s begin, shall we? I’m looking forward to seeing how you fight. What do you want? This should be easy for you.”

Lesson Two: God of Destruction’s Rampage – Consumes stamina to perform a melee attack. Damage taken during this attack will reduce stamina instead of health. These attacks can be used continually until stamina reaches zero and you are put in guard break status.

Beerus: “Be sure to remember what I just showed you. Because today, that is what you’ll be using. You’re up against Goku and Vegeta and their powers are well beyond Super Saiyan. Well? Fitting opponents for you, wouldn’t you say?

Super Saiyan Blue Goku: “So you’re the one Beerus was talking about. Looks like things are about to get interesting.”

Super Saiyan Blue Vegeta: “I use my full power no matter who I face. That is all.”

Beerus: “I’ll just have some cake while I watch. If you don’t mind that is.”

Super Saiyan Blue Vegeta: “Damn you!”

Super Saiyan Blue Goku: “Vegeta! Wow. You’re ridiculously strong. Now that’s what I’d expect from Beerus’ pupil! Vegeta! Stay sharp or we’re toast!”

Super Saiyan Blue Vegeta: “I don’t need you to tell me that! Do you think I’m as foolish as you?!”

Beerus: “Heh heh. They’re both quite determined now. Just do your best to beat them. You did quite well to beat that pair. I remember having some trouble with them myself. You have quite a lot of potential. I think I’ll have to make the next lesson a tad harder.”

Beerus: “Not bad, not bad at all! To tell you the truth, I thought you’d do much worse. Having someone like you show up was worth all this irritating waiting I had to do. I might be able to enjoy teaching after all. I’ll have to put real effort into your next lesson. Now, go practice on your own. Keep going until you’ve got that technique down pat. Understand?”

Beerus: “I’ve been waiting. I actually thought about your training today. I called in a special instructor. Don’t worry! You know this teacher quite well. When I mentioned it was for you, he practically begged me to let him assist, heh heh, heh. Right then, shall we get started?”

Lesson Three: God of Destruction’s Wrath – Unleashes ki blasts in a wide area centered on yourself. This technique is useful both offensively and defensively.

Beerus: “I have a brand new opponent lined up for you to face today. I believe…Meta Cooler, was it? I’ll jump in once you’ve wrapped things up. Be sure to remember everything I’ve taught you. Oh, one more thing, you’re on a tight schedule. Take too long and I’ll destroy this entire planet. Oh? That was rather quick. There’s two…Hmm. Yes I suppose that will do. I wouldn’t tolerate much less. And three…four, oh come on, try harder! Just one of them left now, eh? Don’t start slacking on me. They’re all down already?”

Beerus: “You’re too fast. I haven’t finished my ice cream yet. I suppose I’ll have to defeat you before it’s all melted. That’s enough…enough! Look at that. All my ice cream melted. You fought me for quite a while. Impressive. I’ll make the next challenge even harder then. Maybe I’ll even give you a real fight. Well, something to look forward to.”

Beerus: “Wow…I didn’t think you’d do this well. I should have put my ice cream down. I suppose an iron doll wasn’t a worthy enough opponent for someone of your strength. I need to rethink my approach here. Next time’s going to be a lot tougher. So train hard for your next session. Otherwise, you’ll die. Well then, I’m going to get myself another ice cream. Bye now!”

Beerus: “Now then, if I threw a half-baked opponent at you, you’d just polish them off in moments. It’s finally time for you to face me directly. I suppose that makes this your last lesson? After all, you’ll be sparring with me today. I can’t think of any better training, can you? So let me know when you’re ready.”

Lesson Four: Sphere of Destruction – Fires a ki blast with all the power of a God of Destruction at the opponent currently locked onto.

Beerus: “Well, this is our last lesson. As I said, I’ll give you a taste of my real power. Still, the gap between our power levels is still too large. When I say the match is over, we’ll call that a win for you. But an ordinary fight would be boring, so use my techniques, all right? Just what I hoped for. Now finish it with the ultimate technique. I’ll call that a fight. You’re the winner. I wasn’t really trying that hard you know…but that was still rather impressive!  If you continue to improve your technique as you have so far, you might become a worthy opponent for me.”

Beerus: “Beautiful. Simply beautiful. You’re a shining jewel among the patrollers! Hopefully training you as well as I have will satisfy my debt to the Elder Kai. You must walk the path of the warrior alone now, like Goku and Vegeta once did. Honestly, at first I hated the idea of teaching someone. But you know what, I enjoyed it. I’m excited to see how far you can go, keep it up, okay?”

Beerus: “I’m gonna need a nap after all this teaching fiasco.”

Dragon Ball Super: U6 Arc

Dragon Ball Super: Goku Black Arc

Dragon Ball Super: Tournament of Power

“Hey bro!” Champa called.

Beerus slowly turned his head to look at his brother one last time.

‘I love you,’ Beerus thought. ‘Even if you are a self pompous fat jerk.’

‘I love you, you skinny stick sphynx!’ Champa said into Beerus’s mind.

Champa stuck out his tongue and made a funny face at his brother, before he vanished.

“Say something,” Beerus whispered to himself, slowly looking away, his eyes closed.  But Champa’s words in his mind never came up. At least Beerus could still appear to be a professional tough deity like he was supposed to. He didn’t want to give Zeno the pleasure of him being weak.

Age 780: DBS Broly

Beerus, the purple God of Destruction, was resting on a nearby lounge chair. He had long cat ears, a long tail, and black claws in place of fingernails. He wore gold gauntlets on his arms. The rest of his body resembled a man. Both Whis and Beerus wore loose blue pants, brown boots, and a top sash with an orange diamond in the center. It was clothing that looked similar to outfits worn by Egyptian gods.

The sun felt warm and nice on his purple face. He and his attendant Whis had arrived to Earth to once again try the delicious food that Bulma had prepared. This time, it was an assortment of macarons and other treats.

The sounds of the Saiyans fighting soon irritated Beerus. He rose up and yelled while covering his ears. “Keep it down will ya?!” he shouted to the Saiyans. “Why don’t you fight quietly? I’m trying to nap!”

After the sparring match, Goku stuffed his face full of food and deserts. Whis raised an eye brow at Goku, regarding his lack of table manners.

“Tell me, Goku, why do you seek even greater strength than you have already?”

Before Goku could answer, Whis smiled. “Wait, wait, don’t tell me. Do you want to become a destroyer God?”

Goku loudly gulped in surprise.

“What was that?” asked an annoyed Beerus. “Don’t think I’ll take this threat lightly.” Being a God of Destruction was his job and his alone. The young warrior would have a hard time if he was thinking about taking Beerus’ place.

Goku stepped back in surprise. “No, that’s not it! Why would you want to sit around all day?”

Beerus growled softly. “Well, that was uncalled for. Excuse me for not living up to your pathetic expectations.” Sarcasm and warning laced his voice.

“The culprit was Frieza’s men,” Vegeta confirmed. “He specifically used people with lower battle power so we wouldn’t be able to detect them.”

“That evil monster. He’s relentless when it comes to those Dragon Balls,” said Bulma.

“I wonder what wish he could be after at this point,” asked Goku. “He can’t wish for anything outside of Shenron’s power, so it’s not like he can ask to be made stronger, at least not by much.”

“It’s obvious what he’ll be asking for,” said Vegeta. “He wants to live forever.”

“Yeah, but, but dying is pointless if you’re just losing all the time,” mentioned Goku. 

“You’re missing the big picture,” argued Vegeta. “It’s still possible that Frieza will surpass us one day!”

“You really think so?” asked Goku. Vegeta responded with a frustrated growl.

Bulma cleared her throat and stood up. “I only had six Dragon Balls stashed in my lab. They’re probably headed for the last one. Lucky for you, I know where it is.”

“So where is it?” Vegeta asked.

“On the ice continent,” answered Bulma. “I’m not a fan of the cold so I was putting off tracking it down.”

“We’d better go after it, huh?” asked Goku.

Bulma turned to Beerus, who was relaxing on his lounge chair. “Would you like to come along, too?”

Beerus yawned and leaned his head back. “It’s nap time. I’ll stay here.”

“Come now,” Whis encouraged. “Doesn’t it sound like you could have a fun time?”

“Anything good to eat out there?” Beerus asked.

“Not unless you consider snow a delicacy,” replied Bulma.

“Well count me out,” said Beerus, turning his head away.

“Yay! Here!” laughed Bulma, placing her daughter Bra in Beerus’s lap. “Thanks, Uncle Beerus.”

From up in the air, Bulma waved to Beerus and Whis giggled behind his hand. “Goodbye! Don’t have too much fun!”

“HEY WAIT A SECOND! I’M A DESTROYER GOD, NOT A BABYSITTER!”

Beerus sighed in frustration. Now I’ll never get my nap. He sat back down, glaring at Bra.

“Kitty,” she cooed, while picking her nose.

“You’re disgusting,” Beerus muttered. He formed a small purple light from his pinky finger. “I have a good mind to destroy you right…”

Bra grabbed hold of his arm and held on tight. “What the…let go of me at once!” ordered the god. Bra slapped the energy ball away and it exploded behind them with a loud bang.

Beerus stared at her for a second, bewildered. “How did…”

“Kitty,” Bra said again. Beerus moved his tail and Bra made several reaches for it. Later on, Bra was pulling at Beerus’s top sash.

“Looks like everything turned out alright,” he said calmly as he relaxed under the setting sun in the orange sky.