Tuesday, July 7, 2020

Alastor's Cannibal and Radio Jokes

Did you hear about the two radio antennas who got married? The wedding was great but the reception was awesome!

What time does Alastor's show start in hell? At 6:06 AM

I saw a radio priced $1 and stuck on full volume. I was like, "I cant turn that down!"

What do you call a Cajun chef who never tells the truth? A jamba-lya (liar)

I once saw a cannibal who threw up his arms.

What did the cannibal get when he was late to the party? A cold shoulder.

What do you call a mass murder of breakfast foods? A cereal killer.

What did the buck say before the Radio Demon killed it? "Oh deer, it's Alastor!"

I can be spoken into, yet I'm also a miniature calling device. I'm a micro-phone.

What's a term for a minotaur who eats his own kind? A canni-bull.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Radio. Radio who? Radio no, here I come!

Life is a radio: adjust yourself to frequency and enjoy whatever comes

A blonde bought an AM radio. It took her a month to figure out she could listen to it at night.

How do help a starving cannibal? Give him a helping hand.

If God doesn't want us to eat people, why did he make them out of meat?

A cannibal's son plays with another kid his age. His mother comes over and says, "how many times have I told you not to play with your food?"
When asked what my favorite kind of food is, I replied, "I guess you can call me a people person."
TV: The rules advice against handshakes during the pandemic. Hannibal and Alastor stop the blenders with hands and fruits in them.
I was going to make a cannibal joke, but I realized it was in bad taste.
Teacher: Why are you suddenly into cooking and not biology?
Cannibal student: I've transferred my love of anatomy into the culinary arts
Alastor and Hannibal Lector don't like clowns because they taste funny.
One time Alastor ate another radio host...he got a taste of entertainment!
What does a cannibal like to snack on at meetings? Finger foods.
Two gay cannibal men are about to have sex. One of them says, "I want to be the topping for once."
A young guy wanted to join an elite cannibal cult. The leader said, "It'll cost you an arm and a leg to get in."
"Eat your dinner," is not the same thing as "Eat. You're dinner." Punctuation and spelling matter.
A porn star, a princess, and a cannibal radio host are trapped in a volcano...they find a magic apple cane. An angel pops out and says "I'll grant you guys one wish each."
The porn star says, "I wish to go back to my bedroom with my client." He disappears.
The princess says, "I wish to go back to the hotel so I can redeem sinners." She vanishes.
The cannibal feels bored and hungry, so he says on the air, "I wish my tasty looking friends were back here."

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