Alastor's Smile Song

“Goood evening New Orl…all of Hell! It’s your host, Alastor, the Radio Demon! 66.6 FM. My, oh my, there’s killing every day down here. No one is shown any mercy. The western side of Pentagram City experienced considerably more kills than usual. Some of you may be wondering who could possibly be the culprit behind it all? Well, like in the living world, I shall say, “go on out there and see for yourself!” (Chuckles darkly).

Let’s spice things up with some Electro Swing and Jazz shall we? This song is full of afterlife advice just for you. Here we go.

In 3…2…1…

(Music plays)

“You’re never fully dressed without a smile

(without a smile)

Especially in a world so dull and vile

(dull and vile)

Don’t be sacred to go the extra mile

And I’ll show you sinners some proper class and style

(Take it boys!)”

(Jazz band plays a solo)

“A smile’s all you need

To execute any deed

Dancing on the floor, walking out the door

Or making a victim bleed”

“And now you dwell in Hell

Below the world in which you fell

No redemption now, only failure

It’s your predestined creed”

“You’re never fully dressed without a smile

(without a smile)

Especially in a world so dull and vile

(dull and vile)

Don’t be sacred to go the extra mile

And I’ll show you sinners some proper class and style

“So hop onto the stage of life

But watch out for a rogue gun or knife

Enjoy yourself and grin through all the strife”

“Relax, my dear, there’s nothing to fear

Show a proper sense of style

(sense of style)

But remember my friends…

You’re never fully dressed without a smile

(without a smile)”

“No need to run

From this Radio Demon

Go ahead, have your fun

Until your afterlife is done”

“Come on in

To this Hotel Hazbin

And give in to your sin”

I hope you all enjoyed this broadcast. Stay tuned for more news and endless entertainment! Until next time…Alastor signing off.”