“Alright, everyone, let’s make a fucking commercial!”
For once, Vaggie was pleased with Alastor’s created outfit
for her.
After many hours of practicing, pain, and process, they were
finally successful.
“Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel,” Vaggie began as the group stood in
front of the hotel with their 1920s outfits. 1920s jazz music played. “Founded
by Lucifer’s daughter Charlie, the princess of Hell.”
The double doors opened. “Come check in here and see our
new cozy parlor room.” KeeKee was sleeping on a table next to a radio.
“Meet our first resident, Angel Dust.” Angel Dust posed. “He’s staying here in the hopes of getting
clean and becoming a better person.”
“Still just stayin’ here rent-free,” Angel Dust whispered, earning a glare
from Vaggie.
The scene shifted to Angel Dust and Husk at the bar. Husk
managed to say his lines without holding the scripts, though he was still
grumpy.
“Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel. Can I help you with anything?’”
“I’ve been a bad boy and I need a strong daddy to put me in
my place…on the path to redemption.” He pointed upwards.
Husk rolled his eyes as he read the next line.
“’Well, you come…’”
“Oh yes!” Angel Dust moaned.
Husk glared at Angel Dust again. “’…to the right place.’”
“In that case, I’ll just check in to one of these fabulous
rooms…I could always go for private time in bed.”
Husk looked at the camera. “Have a drink. It’s on the
house. Or come over to play cards or whatever. Um…I do magic shows too.”
Niffty appeared in the bedrooms. “We have the cleanest
rooms! No trace of bedbugs, dirt, or any kind of mess!” Niffty stabbed at a
black bug with her sewing needle and popped it gleefully into her mouth. “Just
ring the bell and you’ll have instant fast room service!” Niffty darted
around as she cleaned the rest of the room.
Vaggie moved the camera over to Alastor, who just glitched. “Erm,
we also have a boat, a kitchen, and a radio tower for anyone interested in
listening to music or shows.”
Vaggie appeared by a portrait of the royal family.
“With some rumors about exterminations getting worse and
maybe happening ahead of time, the Hazbin Hotel is a safe place where you can
stay with your friends and family. Best of all, it’s at no cost! If you’re a
sinner, we can make you a winner! And with Charlie’s special self-help program,
you’ll be able to pack your bags to Heaven before you can say…”
“Oh, fuck me!” Angel moaned in the background. Vaggie rolled her eyes.
“Charlie Morningstar’s Happy/Hazbin Hotel! Your path to
redemption starts here!” A number appeared next to “Call Now!” 1-800 – 666 – 6666 or 1-666 – RAINBOW.
(Yes, our phone actually works, ignore that other commercial!)
It was as good as it was going to get.
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