Helluva Boss Episode Seven: Ozzie's (Remix)

 

Moxxie takes Millie to Ozzie’s Place in the Lust Ring to celebrate their anniversary. But Blitzo wants to stalk them instead. To get into Ozzie’s, Blitzo invites Stolas over, and the owl thinks it’s a genuine date.

A musical battle ensues between Moxxie and rivals Fizzarolli and Ozzie himself! Things sure do happen!

Anniversary Plans

Three rays of reddish light shone against the clouds and the dark starry sky. To the casual observer, the sky and area appeared normal as ever. But the tall city buildings with spikes and eyes as part of the design revealed a much more hellish atmosphere. For this was where the imps resided in Hell. Distant yells rang out in the background. A white sign decorated with imp horns, a yellow eye at the top and a red pentagram read “Welcome to Imp City: Second Circle,” indicating one of the nine sectors of the Pride Ring. A tall black office building with giant black and white striped horns jutting from the sides was the headquarters of I.M.P. A light was shining on one of the upper floors.

 

Inside the building, Loona the hellhound was looking at a magazine with the succubus pink pop star Verosika smirking on the cover, drinking out of a glass bottle. She wore her pink heart sunglasses, her low-cut shirt and her pink scarf. It read “Imp Gossip: ‘Binge Drinking Is Sexy,’ Verosika Mayday Exclusive.” In Loona’s other hand was a brown bottle that she was gulping out off. A bone-shaped rotary phone sat on her desk while a clock on the striped wall read 4:05 in Roman numerals. The front of her desk was decorated with spiky vines and a yellow eye with bat wings and horns.

 

Loona placed her bottle on a page of the grimoire and the bottle rolled off. Glowing on the page was the trumpet-like sigil for Asmodeus, the ruler of Lust.

 

By the couch and a poster of a horse with “Ride” on it, a portal fizzed open in white flames. The pink-flamed border showed a forest with orange and yellow trees on the other side.

 

Crash!

 

The whirring sound of a chainsaw was heard as one yellow tree fell right through the opening. A man screamed and a slice ripped through the air. The head of a ginger-haired bearded man bounced through the portal and into the room in a gory mess. Moxxie popped up from the leaves and held a black and red chainsaw with a black pentagram on the red handle, grinning manically.

 

Blitzo held a small black and red ax with a pentagram on it and strut through the portal with an exuberant look on his face.

 

“Woo! That was a fuck ton of lumberjacks!” Blitzo cheered over the chainsaw whirring.

 

A grinning Millie crawled sideways on all fours like a spider, a matching black and red ax in her mouth. She stood up and let out an excited primal yell.

 

“Augh!!! I’m still so jazzed up! Ah ha ha ha!”

 

She broke the handle with her sharp teeth and happily raced toward Blitzo and Moxxie with a laugh.

 

“Well you’d better stay ‘jazzed,’ ka cha…” Moxxie pointed finger guns after he tossed the chainsaw aside. He puffed up his chest proudly. “…babe, because guess where I’m taking you tonight?”

 

“Don’t you dare finish a filthy pun in my presence, Moxxie,” Blitzo chided playfully, hands on his hips. “Besides, drinks are on me, tonight!” He pointed at himself with his thumbs. “Let’s hit up the new dive down the street!”

 

Moxxie climbed out of the leaves and branches, dusting himself off.

 

“Actually sir, it’s our one-year marriage anniversary. So I’m taking Millie to Ozzie’s in the Lust Ring!”

 

Millie’s eyes shone with stars and she gasped in excitement. Her hands supported her cheeks.

 

“Ozzie’s?! No way!” She clapped her hands. “That place is always booked!”

 

“Yeah, well, I’ve been planning it for quite a while.”

 

“Moxxie!” Millie cheered, leaping onto him and kissing him. Moxxie blushed as she kissed him fast several more times. As the two imps French-kissed with their tongues, Blitzo sighed in disgust and rolled his eyes.

 

“Ugh! Can you two not?”

 

They stopped but Millie nuzzled her face into Moxxie’s cheek. “I’m sorry sir,” Moxxie said with a lopsided grin. “Maybe another time?”

 

“No, it’s fine,” Blitzo said with a wave of his hand. “I-I can come with the two of you, help you celebrate your boring-as-fuck monogamy.”

 

“Uh no,” Moxxie deadpanned with a glare. “The reservation is for us.” Moxxie wrapped his arm around Millie for emphasis.

 

“Uh huh,” Blitzo nodded with a grin.

 

“Just us,” Moxxie repeated.

 

“Mhm,” Blitzo nodded, oblivious.

 

“Without you there,” Moxxie said, swiping his hand in clear dismissal. “Explicitly without you there!”

 

Blitzo ignored him and stepped in between them to give them a hug. “I’ll wear something nice. It’s a big deal after all!” He squeezed them in a tight embrace before letting them go. They both glared at him.

 

“See you love-bugs later!” Blitzo called, as he whistled nine notes on his way out the door. On the nearby wall, a sign with red blood read “IMP: Call us!”

 

Moxxie clenched his fists and growled.

 

“Relax, sweetie,” said Millie. “Don’t let him get to you today! Let’s just go home and…clean this blood off.”

 

Millie made a purring feline noise as she seductively twirled her finger on Moxxie’s chest and near his crotch. Moxxie blushed in arousal, a dreamy look on his face. Moxxie stood straight up on end, his tail pointed up. Millie did a seductive growl again and led the entranced imp out of the room.

 

0 0 0

 

Blitzo, Moxxie and Millie soon made it to a golden high-domed building that was reminiscent of Grand Central Station. Six small apples with eyes in the center and wings were decorated behind four spotlights overhead. A large clock with four stretching metal wings read 7:35, a pink diamond gem in the center. On either side were archways decorated with a gem within an eye shape above it. The golden double doors opened from a giant elevator that towered over the imps and denizens below. Above was an elevator arrow dial pointing to different colored gems. Small gold horns curved upwards on the border.  

 

“Elevator 666 departing for Lust…in five minutes,” came a mechanical voice over a speaker, saying “five minutes” in a seductive tone. Denizens began to rush toward the large empty opening. A nearby screen labeled “Elevator #666: Schedule” displayed the departing times for the different Rings like a train or airplane itinerary. “Lust” in blue showed “Direct” and “Boarding” with a down arrow, indicating the direction. “Pride” in red showed “Direct” and an upward arrow. “Envy” was in purple, “Sloth” was in pink, “Gluttony” was in yellow, “Greed” was in green, and “Wrath” was in orange, with “On Time,” labeled next to them. (The colors also matched the sky colors in each Ring).

 

Moxxie straightened up his large orange bow tie on his black long-sleeved tuxedo. He had a white undershirt, red trim at the bottom, nice black pants and white coverings on his legs. Millie followed him, wearing a short black dress that revealed her legs and the tops of her shoulders. Her dress had a small pink heart on the front. Her black hair was slightly lighter in color, and neatly brushed back. Moxxie spotted her and did a friendly gentleman bow. He held out his arm and she wrapped her arm around his. They strolled together across the tiled shiny floor.

 

Blitzo peered at them from behind a pillar. The magenta floor was decorated with a large yellow pentagram design. A dozen golden seats with sun-like designs were lined in rows. Moxxie and Millie sat down together on one of the seats. Millie gave him a hug and leaned into him, eyes closed in happiness.

 

Several rows toward the back, Blitzo peered over a newspaper with a picture of an Exorcist, Robo Fizz, and Fizzarolli’s stage on it. Moxxie and Millie then stood up and wondered toward the open doors as the crowd moved forward. Blitzo followed not too far behind. He smirked and took out his red cell phone. He tapped an icon that read “LoonyPoo.” It showed a grumpy Loona and a smiling Blitzo. A rapid dial tone and a scream was heard. Loona’s voicemail spoke, “Yeah it’s Loona, whoever you are, go for it.” It beeped and Blitzo left his message.

 

“Hey Loony, just wanna let you know I’m not going back home until real late. I got something important tonight.” He touched the screen and it went dark.

 

Moxxie and Millie soon stepped into the crowded giant Hellevator.

 

“Elevator 666 departing for Lust Ring now,” said the mechanical voice. “No need to mind the gap… just slide right in. Stand clear, the doors are closing.”

 

Blitzo managed to make it into a corner before the doors closed. Buttons on the side wall displayed the Ring levels:

 

1.   Pride

2.   Greed

3.   Lust

4.   Envy

5.   Gluttony

6.   Wrath

7.   Sloth

 

Strangely enough, the Rings were ordered on the screen by their sky colors in a rainbow pattern: Pride, Wrath, Gluttony, Greed, Lust, Envy and Sloth.

 

“Going down.”

 

The imps felt a jolt as the Hellevator suddenly lowered. It traveled through several glowing portals, first underground and then briefly in the air. The skies were changing color from red to green to dark blue. Blitzo’s stomach dropped and he almost stumbled into a nearby muscular imp. A rush of air sounded from outside and faint organ music played from an overhead speaker.

 

Finally the elevator stopped with a ding and the double doors opened.

 

“Exit here, for Lust Ring.”

 

Moxxie, Millie and Blitzo walked into another terminal station and then out through the sliding glass doors. Blitzo stalked them, making sure not to get too close to the couple. Not only was he entertained by his two employees making love…he secretly desired a relationship like that for himself. Not one where he was briefly used for sex or one where he had to leave like his previous ones.

 

The sight of Moxxie and Millie happy together propelled him onward.

 

 

 

0 0 0

The Lust Ring

The imps soon stepped into another world. A dark blue sky filled with rain poured down on a city with dozens of neon lights and signs. The surroundings looked like a more shady section of a modern Tokyo city. Catchy sensual jazz music played in the night as demons of all shapes and sizes wandered the streets of Lust. One sign blinked “Hot, Hot, Hot” in hot pink near a lavender sign with two female symbols and two male symbols interconnected. A green “Sex” was in a green heart decorated with dancing dots. Next to “Live” in pink and a green “X” was a neon red winged succubus in a seductive pose; “xs” over her breasts. She had a pointed tail, long hair, a leg with her heel extended and small hearts near her thick lips. Other neon signs shouted “Sex,” showed a pole dancer and one displayed a marijuana plant at the top of a building. More signs read “Tongue Lounge,” “Lingerie,” “Sexy Wear,” and “Kinky” in pink.

 

The crème de la crème of the city was a dazzling building shaped like a circus tent. The roof consisted of a pink striped circus tent, with lights draped along the sides. Two iron hearts were positioned at the top near two red roses. Over the phallic shaped rows of windows and pink banners was a lit up sign that read “Ozzie’s” in a bold white font.

 

The entrance to the nightclub was shaped like a heart with a lit up border and two red curtains elegantly draped overhead. By a roped off fence was a long line of demons waiting to get in. Millie looked on at the scene in amazement, arm in arm with Moxxie. They stared lovingly into each other’s eyes before making their way forward. A topless bouncer imp with “xs” over his nipples, a bow tie, and extended bat wings happily let Moxxie and Millie enter the club. He spread out his arms in a “right this way” gesture.

 

Meanwhile, Blitzo ducked under the rope and tiptoed up the stairs with a smirk…

 

Yoink!

 

A hard yank of Blitzo’s tail pulled him back. The bouncer, Jesse, glared at him. Blitzo’s tail was bent in the bouncer’s meaty hand.

 

“Whoa there, buddy. Got a reservation?”

 

“Oh yeah, I’m with those two,” Blitzo lied, briefly touching his pointer fingers together, nervously.

 

Jesse let go of Blitzo’s tail. “This club is for couples only.”

 

“It’s what?” Blitzo was shocked.

 

Jesse glared at him, his eyebrows thick, one with an eyebrow ring. “No date, no reservation…” He leaned in, “No entry.”

 

Blitzo let out a nervous chuckle, looking Jesse up and down. He stroked Jesse’s chin with his finger and batted his eyes. “Y-you know, you have really nice eyes, daddy?”

 

Jesse was not amused. He tossed Blitzo through the air and he slammed into a nearby dumpster lid with a loud whack! He slid down inside and it closed. In anger, Blitzo lifted the lid and tossed a banana pill on his forehead aside.

 

“You fucking prude!” Blitzo yelled, flipping him off. Blitzo hoisted himself out and the lid slammed down onto his tail. He yelped and landed on top of some trash bags. He released his tail and lay there with a frustrated look on his face. The windows and the dumpster border were neon teal hearts. A nearby poster read “Lust Ring” in pink and a Robo Fizz poster was there as well. He crossed his arms and looked around. Looking up at the sky reminded him of the full moon.

 

And the full moon reminded him of…

 

Blitzo smiled and narrowed his eyes, coming up with an idea.

 

0 0 0

 

Stolas poured milk into his bowl of cereal at the palace dining room. He used a purple spoon to eat. His cereal had blue, red and yellow stars and moons in it. The purple and yellow bowl had the family crest on it.

 

Stolas slumped in a high-backed purple velvet chair, his glowing red eyes slanted and fatigued. He heaved out a sad sigh, sitting all by himself at the long empty table. A bronze space mobile quietly creaked from the ceiling while the hanging potted plant stems extended outwards, giving the room an unkempt look.

 

Stolas, too, appeared unkempt and dreary. Every day, his relationship with Stella grew worse and worse. Without a word, Stella had led Octavia outside and into their family car. Octavia was spending the weekend with her mother instead, a temporary truce. But one piercing glare from his wife’s pink angry eyes and Stolas knew divorce was imminent.

 

How cold and empty his castle felt without his family there. But it was even darker without his lovely imp companion. How could Stolas reconcile with his wife and daughter after being so tempted by his sexual desires for him? As fun as being intimate with Blitzo was, a part of him longed to step out of his sensual comfort zone. If he could gather up the courage to really get to know Blitzo…who he was like on the inside…hell forbid, actually feel genuine romance as well…

 

But everything was so hopeless; he was all alone after all. Would he ever see his loved ones happy again?

 

Scooping up his cereal bowl, Stolas slumped onto the couch, his red housecoat drooping on his arms. He clicked on the television, the Hell-G Network activated. On the screen, “Hella-novela” appeared in elegant writing. As the show started to play, Stolas turned up the volume several times, briefly escaping from the dullness of reality. He slumped lower in his seat.

 

Against a pink and white bubbly background, an imp woman with long black hair with a white streak, black horns, and a black dress appeared on screen. She wore a gold necklace, a bracelet and matching hoop earrings. Her mascara trailed down her face like black tears.

 

“Why, why won’t you love me, Alejandro?” she sobbed.

 

“That’s a mood, Gabriella,” Stolas sympathized sadly, eating a spoonful of his cereal.

 

Just then, the rotary phone on a side table rang. The phone speakers were shaped like sunflowers. The ringing of the phone sounded like owl hoots; “Woo-woo-woo-woo-woooo!” Smoke rose from the phone and appearing in lavender letters was a bold message: “Blitzy Is Calling.”

 

Stolas’ heart leapt; his eyes went wide and he briefly chocked. He frantically reached for his phone, knocking over his bowl of cereal in the process. He lifted himself up from the couch and hastily grabbed the phone.

 

“Helloo? Hello Blitzy!”

 

“Stolas, hey you-uh, shit,” Blitzo stuttered. “You busy tonight?”

 

Stolas glanced at his spilled cereal on the floor. “Umm, why do you ask?”

 

“I was wondering if you…wanna come with me to a club tonight?”

 

Stolas’ eyes lit up. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Are you asking me on a date, Blitzy?” He blushed, white hearts appearing in his eyes.

 

Blitzo paused. “I-yes, I suppose that is what’s happening. How fast can you get down to Lust?”

 

Stolas eagerly leapt from the couch and raced to his room.

 

“I can be ready in 20!”

 

He searched through his closet, pushing aside a hanging red and white shirt from Loo-Loo Land.

 

“Alright, fantastic. See you soon,” said Blitzo.

 

“I’ll see yooou, Blitzy!” Stolas crowed as he hung up. He put on a fancy outfit and applied eyeliner in front of a large vanity mirror bordered by purple flower lights. He happily put on blush and admired himself again. With a snap of his fingers, a portal appeared to Lust.

 

0 0 0

 

Blitzo paced back and forth on the street next to the “Horny Hotel,” “Position,” “Chucklefucks,” and “Fun House.”

 

“Come on, come on, come on,” the impatient imp tapped his foot.

 

“Oh Blitzy!” called a familiar voice. Blitzo turned around and spotted a glowing bluish portal. Stolas strolled out of it. “I’m here!”

 

Stolas wore a fancy dark high-collared suit with white buttons and a white frilly ruffle. He had long sleeves with white trim by his hands. His magnificent robe displayed a moving red night sky decorated with stars. Blitzo thought he was looking at outer space through Stolas’ clothing. Stolas’ head of feathers was sleeked back.

 

A spotlight randomly shone on Blitzo, illuminating his dark spiked leather jacket and reddish shirt. “Wow. That’s a bit overkill, don’t ya think?” he deadpanned.

 

Stolas chuckled nervously and blushed as the portal closed behind him. “W-well I-I just wanted to look a little nicer for you. This is our first real date after all.”

 

Stolas offered Blitzo his hand and he reluctantly took it. They walked hand in hand toward Ozzie’s.

 

“Oh yeah, I guess this is, huh,” Blitzo replied, unsure.

 

They walked up to Jesse the bouncer. He spotted Blitzo and glared.

 

“You again? Beat it, shithead…”

 

“Ahem,” Stolas cleared his throat. “Do we have a problem?”

 

Jesse looked taken aback at the sight of the towering prince. He bowed apologetically. “Oh uh, shit…my apologies, your highness. Uh, please go right in.”

 

Stolas and Blitzo walked up the stairs and into the building. Blitzo briefly peered from behind the curtain with a triumphant grin and flipped off the angry bouncer before going inside.

 

Blitzo sneaked around with darting eyes as he entered. Stolas, however, grinned and stood amazed at the grandeur of the dinner theater. He gasped.

 

“Oh my!”

 

Blue and pink lighting filled the elegant space. Drapes and string lights hung from the ceiling and blue lotus lights added to the attractive contrasting atmosphere. The wallpaper consisted of Asmodeus’ crest with bull and ram imagery. Blue flames burned behind glass in an impressive display. A mural of an imp with a white dress with a heart on it was displayed on the ceiling. The light fixtures were shaped like large hearts, decorated with dotted lights. 

 

Under a chandelier with blue inward facing drapes and blue flames were hovering cages with glowing teal bars. Inside the cages were dragon-like demons, contained for sexual purposes. A red female imp with dragon wings flew around with a platter of food.

 

“Oh no; no, but yes!” Stolas contradicted himself as he glanced around in childlike wonder.

 

Near the penis-shaped runway stage was an array of round tables with white tablecloths and two heart-shaped chairs at each one. A short squat imp waiter showed them to their seats. One of the seats had a stack of books on it. The waiter pushed Stolas’ chair in and left. Stolas happily sighed and sat down in his seat as Blitzo sat on the stack of books. A blue candle was in a holder at the center of the table.

 

“Oh, Blitz, how romantic is this?! What made you choose such a place to bring me?”

 

“Oh it just sounded like…” He pulled out a pair of binoculars, “I just thought we’d have a blast here, you know?”

 

Blitzo peered through his binoculars. At one table, he saw the white-dressed imp butler surrounded by a harem of demons at one table. There was a fat female imp, a slender female imp with curved horns and a blue flame candle on her head, a snake-like jester, a black haired imp wearing upside down cross earrings and a fish net shirt and finally a large goat with an upside down cross and a red flame candle on his head. The butler held a glass of orange liquid, a look of satisfaction on his face.

 

At another table, Josh and Ace, two male members of Verosika’s crew, sat together at a table, leaning close to each other.

 

At a third table, a muscular imp appeared to be thrusting and receiving oral from another imp under the table, a long tail pointing out.

 

Two winged succubi kissing at another table…a lone imp raising a glass…

 

…Moxxie and Millie staring at each other lovingly at their table.

 

“Gotcha!” Blitzo grinned.

 

Stolas sat confused. “Oh, Blitz. What are you looking at?”

 

Blitzo stayed in place. “I’m looking at nothing; how about that?”

 

Just then, a small female waitress imp named Crane came up to the table. She wore a feathered headband with a small teal heart on it.

 

“Can I get you two off…I mean, start you two off with some drinks?”

 

“Yes!” said Stolas, looking at the menu. “Um, perhaps some wine to share; do you prefer red wine or white wine, Blitz? Or perhaps some champagne?”

 

“Yeah, whatever,” Blitzo shrugged, still not turning around.

 

Stolas chuckled nervously. “Well, perhaps all three. Why not?”

 

The waitress scribbled down their order and walked away. Stolas tapped a finger on the table. “So Blitz, how was your day?”

 

Blitzo finally looked at Stolas. “Huh? Oh, good I guess. We killed a bunch of beardos.” He glanced back through the binoculars.

 

“That sounds fun!” Stolas added. “How did you kill them?” He asked a question like it was a typical conversation starter for a date.

 

Blitzo turned around.

 

“How? I-I-I mean, there was a lot of them, so I- bullets.”

 

Stolas laughed nervously again, wondering why Blitzo was acting so standoffish. Maybe Blitzo was nervous at this first date and was trying to act disinterested in him. Or was it an act?

 

Stolas continued. “Right, right…so what made you decide to ask me out after all this time?”

 

“Uhhhhhh….”

 

Blitzo couldn’t tell him about him wanting to spy on Moxxie and Millie. He didn’t want to hurt his feelings or say he wasn’t interested. Mostly he wanted to avoid this awkward moment and go back to looking at his employees. Seeing the people he knew were so happy together…it secretly warmed his heart. But it also made him envious. They could please and love each other as they wanted, with no worry of betrayal. Why was he the one stuck with Stolas who wanted to use him for his own pleasures?

 

This owl prince who somehow accepted Blitzo for who he was, despite his lower status?

 

The one who seemed to care for him underneath the lustful exterior?

 

Before Blitzo could finish his sentence, the lights snapped off and the host spoke to the attendees.

 

Fizzarolli’s and Asmodeus’ Show

 

“Ladies and gentlemen! I see some sexy faces around here tonight!”

 

A robotic voice greeted the audience as six dragon-like demon women with wings descended from the ceiling on clear poles. They wore revealing clothing and had their pointed tails wrapped around the poles. Electricity flowed harmlessly around the pole platforms as pink smoke whiffed through the air. Other staff were there: Lithe the stagehand, Crane, Hen and Robin the waitresses, and goat demons Paradise, Lavender. The flames behind the glass glowed green. The stage background appeared green with metal heart designs. Pink borders with theatrical lights were in the shape of hearts, forming the stage wall. Sliding down from another pole further in the back was a jester who looked a lot like Robo Fizz. He extended his long arms and moved in a backward arch down onto the stage before spreading out his arms in a pose.

 

It was the star performer Fizzarolli. He wore black heels with blue hearts on them, stripped purple and white pants, matching sleeves and a sharp pink jester top with yellow hearts. Like Robo Fizz, he wore a stripped red and blue jester hat with bells and he also wore a white ruffle. Yellow balls with red hearts were on his shoulders. His face was painted white and a black heart was painted on his forehead. Back spots were on his cheeks and his nose was red like a clown’s.  

 

“Welcome, welcome, welcome to Ozzie’s!” Fizzarolli chorused, “Lust Ring’s number one place for all kinds of sick twisted fantasies. Put on display for all you ‘sleaze’ and ‘sleazettes.’”

 

Fizzarolli spun around on the pole before extending his twisted body to smile at Josh and Ace at a table. The two incubi gave him a peace sign and a thumbs up as Fizzarolli retracted himself back to the stage. 

 

Fizzarolli spun on his pole once more before walking down the bright green penis-shaped runway. Asmodeus’ sigil in pink glowed at the circular end of it, and the platforms the dancers were on gave off an illusion of labia parts.

 

“The gem joint of Asmodeus himself! C’mon, give him some love!”

 

Fizzarolli moved his long arms into a heart shape over his head as the crowd clapped.

 

Blitzo and Stolas looked stunned.

 

“Did he just say ‘Asmodeus?’?” Stolas asked in concern.

 

“Oh, no fucking way. Not him!” Blitzo quivered, hiding his face behind a menu. Both Stolas and Blitzo looked frightened. Asmodeus was even more powerful than the Ars Goetia, perhaps matching up to Lucifer.

 

Fizzarolli pointed at his face. “I am the one and only Fizzarolli!” He stretched a long blue scroll of himself, making his limbs in the picture appear longer. “Some of you may recognize this dashing clown face from my numerous toy-botic replicas across the Rings of Hell.”

 

Fizzarolli showed a poster of Robo Fizz in a green downward pentagram with “Fizzarolli” up top and “Loo Loo Land” in blue with theater lights. The scroll folded up and turned into a microphone.

 

“Gloriously designed by the big man himself and…”

 

He rolled up a sleeve, revealing his black cybernetic arm, “…ribbed for your pleasure tonight. We have a great lineup for you tonight. Verosika Mayday!”

 

Verosika stood beside a bar, green banners draped by a large glass shaped case in the wall which displayed drinks, bottles, and wine glasses. Wearing a suit and a pink top hat with a heart on it, Wally Wackford handed Verosika a magenta alcoholic drink with a fish and umbrella in it. He was blushing and had a goofy grin on his face. Verosika wore a low cut black tank top with a white X and O over her breasts. She had a low cut skirt and her pink white sparkly scarf was over her shoulders. She pushed Wally Wackford to the floor, sending the drink falling as well. She grinned and stuck her tongue out as she posed for pictures.

 

“Wet Dream, and the Squirterz!” Fizzarolli announced.

 

Three small imps wore black shirts with “Squirterz” on them and white liquid reminiscent of semen. The “Wet Dreamers” were demonic sheep from the Sloth Ring.

 

Fizzarolli drank a green martini through a curly straw before using his arm to put the drink aside.

 

“But as everyone’s warming up, I got a funny one for y’all: did any of you hear about the bat-shittery that happened at Loo-Loo Land?”

 

The audience laughed.

 

“Ha ha ha, oh yeah, oh wow. I’ll tell you what: I’d sure love to shake the hand of the crazy son of a bitch who decided to burn down that off-brand shithole and then slap a fat subpoena in it, ‘cause I am very much looking to sue!”

 

Fizzarolli almost appeared to glare at Blitzo. Blitzo and Stolas hurriedly looked away.

 

Fizzarolli continued. “That robo-me made us more money entertaining those kids than the ones we sell to get you freaks off, if you know what I mean.” He giggled manically.

 

A fat white-haired imp in the back hollered out, “Oh, I know what you mean! I have four of them! Hahaha!”

 

Fizzarolli spoke into the mic, turning away. “Okay, keep that guy far away from me.” He turned back to the audience.

 

“So without wasting any more time, our little opening act is a fresh one! Coming at us from a little imp from the Wrath Ring, give it up for Moxxie…” He narrowed his eyes and waved a disapproving hand, “…with no creative stage name whatsoever.”

 

The audience applauded and Moxxie stood up with his guitar shaped like an open mouthed red devil monster. The upper part looked like a red skull heart. He tenderly touched Millie on the shoulder before heading up onto the stage. As Moxxie climbed up, Fizzarolli sprang up to a high balcony next to an elegantly dressed figure wearing a top hat with feathers, a high collared suit and a fluffy scarf. The flames brightened the room in a blue glow.

 

Moxxie walked up to the microphone. “Hello everyone…”

 

The microphone rang in feedback and Moxxie flinched. “Oh!” He cleared his throat. “Hi, thank you for letting me be here. It’s an honor to play.”

 

A drunk Wally Wackford slurred loudly, “Uh, hurry up, Bullet and uh, sing boy! I say, I say…”

 

Moxxie looked lovingly at Millie who smiled. “This song is for my beautiful wife, a surprise for our first anniversary. I love you Millie.”

 

Moxxie strummed his guitar as he began to sing.

 

“I love you

More than the brimstone loves the fire

More than Beelze loves her bub

More than a maggot loves gangrenes stubs”

 

The audience looked on with confusion. It was the equivalent to listening to a person sing a little kid song at a punk rock concert.

 

“You make my spirit sing

Yeah, you make me glad I live in Hell

Our love is a story sweet to tell

Yeah you cast a special Satanic spell

 

Over my heart!”

 

Pink smoke blew from the smoke machine and hit Millie. Pink smoky hearts appeared in the air. Fizzarolli shared a mischievous look with the elegant figure and the figure slanted his eyes.

 

“Love is a journey we decided to start

Yeah I hope we’ll never ever be apart

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you…”

 

A heart gap appeared behind Moxxie’s head and the smoke turned bright blue. Two blue and neon pink silhouettes in the smoke mockingly repeated “I love you,” to Moxxie before bursting into laughter.

 

The smoke parted and Moxxie froze as a towering figure appeared behind him on stage. Fizzarolli perched on the figure’s back.

 

“You singing love songs in my lustful lounge?” asked a deep accented voice in song.

 

“Ozzie’s ain’t the place for sentimental sounds!” Fizzarolli added as upbeat jazzy music began to play. He waged a finger and leaned into Moxxie’s face. Moxxie’s guitar was snatched away by Fizzarolli. Moxxie fearfully crawled backwards onto Asmodeus’ sigil on the runaway. A dark shadow towered over him.

 

“What’d you expect from proprietors like us?” asked the first figure.

 

Fizzarolli’s eyes glowed yellow in the dark, his body hunched and menacing.

 

“Your demon host, Asmodeus, the embodiment of lu-u-u-u-ust!”

 

Fizzarolli mentioned to the imposing figure. There was Asmodeus himself. He had a dark blue furry face, glowing green eyes and two smaller faces in his thick cyan hair: a ram and a bull. He wore a navy blue vest and a red undershirt with red heart cufflinks. He wore stripped clothing down his chest to a heart clasp. A black top hat with two feathers rested on his head. On his feet were jagged high heels with red tips. He also had three rooster-like tail feathers, one red, one black and one white. He was pimp-like and similar to Valentino.

 

Fizzarolli and Asmodeus made lots of money and had to keep their club popular. It was their job to promote sex and lust, thus act the part. Now these two stranger imps were trying to soil their reputation with cheesy love songs!

 

That could not happen.

 

The rap song battle soon began.

 

“Give me a thrust!” Asmodeus barked in a sinister grin. Moxxie nervously pulled at his collar. Asmodeus sounded similar to Oogie Boogie and Dr. Facilier.

 

“Trumpet!” Fizzarolli called as he played on an invisible trumpet.

 

“You show me some lust,” Asmodeus rapped. Asmodeus tickled Fizzarolli’s head as the performer leapt onto Asmodeus’ shoulder. Fizzarolli and Asmodeus briefly leaned in close and tenderly nuzzled each other before spinning around in a dramatic dance.

 

“From the groin to the bust, in desire we trust, in the House of Asmodeus!” the Ring ruler sang.

 

“Trumpet!” Fizzarolli vocalized again as Asmodeus lowered and leered down at Moxxie, hands under his chin.

 

“Little imp, you came here to sing your serenade

 

Perform your feelings on a velvety stage

 

Well, we got a saying that’s popular in these parts…”

 

Asmodeus briefly rolled on the floor, lifting a leg before turning back to Moxxie.

 

Moxxie tried to run but Fizzarolli wrapped him up with his robotic arms.

 

“Only little bitches strum the strings of their hearts!”

 

Fizzarolli spun the imp around on the sigil.

 

“You wanna hang around this lustful town?” Asmodeus asked as a dizzy Moxxie staggered. Asmodeus stopped Moxxie’s spinning momentum with a finger on his head.

 

“Ditch the lovey-dovey before we knock you around.” Fizzarolli watched in amusement on his master’s shoulders. Moxxie was flicked backward. A concerned Millie stood up and gasped.

 

“Here we sing about wants and desires,” Asmodeus mentioned.

 

Fizzarolli lifted up Moxxie and pressed him against two of the glowing cages that held the serpentine women demons.

 

“Depravity, savagery, loins hotter than fiiiire!” Fizzarolli harmonized.

 

A pink serpent-like succubus blew a jet of blue fire over Moxxie’s head. A maniacal Fizzarolli wearing neon pink glasses, held a pitchfork with the blue flame on top. Fizzarolli blew out the fire and greedily looked at a white roasted marshmallow. Moxxie fell to the floor.

 

Asmodeus caught Moxxie in his large hand and sang again.

 

“So give me a thrust”

 

Show me some lu-u-u-u-ust!”

 

Asmodeus stroked Moxxie under the chin; Moxxie frantically kicking his way out of the strong grip. He fell to the floor onto the sigil. Asmodeus stroked Moxxie again under the chin, this time with his high heel boot.

 

“From the groin to the bust

Little imp, you just must

In the House of Asmodeus.”

 

Asmodeus spun around on a pole and shook his rear in a seductive manner. Fizzarolli threw money at him and then lifted him up from underneath his back. Asmodeus continued:

 

“Come on, sing us a so-o-o-o-ong!

Make sure the subject is getting it on

Make it graphic and tactfully long!”

 

Fizzarolli added, “Be sure to rhyme ‘thong’ and ‘schlong!’”  Fizzarolli smirked at Moxxie wearing reading glasses from a book with “Dick” as the title.

 

“Go ahead, the mic’s on,” Asmodeus mused as he pushed the microphone in front of a nervous Moxxie. His guitar was back in his hands.

 

The two stood on either side of Moxxie with devious grins. Moxxie strummed his guitar quietly. “I want to…”

 

“Yeah, what do you want?” Fizzarolli asked. “Butt stuff? Piss play? Bondage?”

 

“Make gentle love to you,” Moxxie replied.

 

“Ugh!” Asmodeus and Fizzarolli rolled their eyes in disgust. They both towered over him, arms crossed.

 

“What a limp-dick imp, you’re really killing this vibe,” Asmodeus insulted Moxxie. He turned to the audience. “Get a load of this dweeb and his unsatisfied bride!”

 

The audience laughed, Moxxie going red in the face. Fizzarolli pointed both fingers at Moxxie.

 

“Hey now, I watched those two pork many times!” said a familiar voice.

 

“What?! Blitz?!” Moxxie yelled in surprise after Blitzo got up from his seat.

 

“And honestly they make missionary look, relatively exciting.”

 

Moxxie glared at Blitzo in disgust. A stunned Fizzarolli seized a new opportunity.

 

“Is that Blitz-o?” he asked, emphasizing the “o.” “So you’re showing your face? Hey everybody! This guy’s a total disgrace!”

 

A red spotlight shone on Fizzarolli and then onto Blitzo, who flinched.

 

“Some nerve you’ve got to comment on a relationship!

 

Last I checked, your love life is a pile of shit!”

 

Fizzarolli laughed and leaned in toward Blitzo’s face. Fizzarolli then grinned wider against Blitzo when a pink spotlight shone on the long haired Verosika. She held a microphone and wore her tank top, skirt, crossed x leggings and high heel shoes.

 

“Oh Blitz-o?” she cooed.

 

Then she began her mocking melody:

 

“I used to date him (date him, date him!)”

 

She waved her hips in a wide seductive manner.

 

Blitzo crossed his arms. “Oh, Verosika, you’re here.”

 

“I’d stroke and I’d fellate him (fellate him, fellate him!)”

 

She was referencing to when they got intimate, when she would stroke his dick and cum and please herself on top of him.

 

Verosika rolled on a table, boobs erect in the air as fans snapped pictures of her. Verosika basked in the attention under the pink spotlight; one imp had a jealous look on her face.

 

Verosika continued.

 

“Yeah, but when it was my turn (my turn, my turn!)”

 

He did no reciprocatin’ (what a dick-bag!)

 

Blitzo had felt too insecure to cum on top of her.

 

Verosika shoved Blitzo hard to the ground and backed him up against the wall.

 

“A selfish imp in the sheets!

 

And just as bad in the streets!

 

A reckless, heart-breaking freak!” she spat, getting in close to his face. Guilt and pain was etched onto his face.

 

This time, Stolas stood up in concern for Blitzo. Fizzarolli winked at Asmodeus.

 

“Who’s that at the table? Is your date a demon prince?” Asmodeus asked in song.

 

Fizzarolli looked at Stolas through a pair of binoculars next to him. The red spotlight shone on Stolas and a frightened look appeared on his face as he looked around.

 

“Stolas, is that you?” Asmodeus asked.

 

“Are you sleepin’ with an imp?!” a surprised Wally Wackford bellowed, pointing.

 

“Wooo! My dark lord, how the mighty do fall!” Asmodeus added in song as Fizzarolli leered at Blitzo on the ground.

 

Asmodeus sat Stolas in a heart-shaped chair. Appearing on either side of Stolas from blue flames were illusions of Stella and Octavia, eye glowing, faces stern.

 

“You used to have a smoking wife, a kid, you had it all,” Asmodeus mused.

 

The illusions disappeared in front of him, only leaving a humiliated Blitzo that Fizzarolli placed onto the chair.

 

“I hope you didn’t give it up, so you and him could get it on!”

 

Blitzo and Stolas looked away from each other in shame. Stolas hid his face behind a menu.

 

Asmodeus was tickled pink at Stolas’ mistake. “You sold your life for a thrust!

Now that’s the spirit of lu-u-u-ust!”

 

Fizzarolli made a heart around Asmodeus with his arms. Fizzarolli leapt in arcs around Asmodeus as he sang and danced on the stage.

 

“Grab your groin or a bust

Prepare to get your hair mussed

Pretend you don’t see that crust

Hump ‘til your junk turns to dust!”

 

Purple penis-shaped firework dispensers shot out yellow blasts of fireworks on either side as the two hosts lifted their arms in triumphant poses.

 

Fizzaarolli and Asmodeus finished in a duet: “In the House of Asmode-e-e-e…”

 

Wham!

 

Millie knocked Fizzarolli to the ground with Moxxie’s guitar. The lights switched back on.

 

“Hey!” Asmodeus protested at the interruption.

 

“I think you were trying to sing something for me, Mox,” Millie said, handing Moxxie his guitar.

 

Moxxie smiled in relief. “Yeah, I was.”

 

Moxxie strummed his guitar again, Millie standing beside him this time.

 

“I love us

I love us just the way we are…”

 

Moxxie and Millie walked across the stage as a sad Asmodeus cradled the fallen Fizzarolli.

 

“Don’t have to pretend to like to do things we don’t…”

 

A female backstage imp yawned in boredom and accidentally hit a lever. One of the poles lifted up, carrying Moxxie. Millie happily jumped onto the platform with him. The Ozzie’s logo glowed golden as Moxxie and Millie happily spun around on the moving pole. Their pointed tails were intertwined around the pole as Moxxie sang.

 

“I’ve always got you around to laugh at my stupid jokes

I’ll never take you for granted

I’ll always give you my best

And if you can offer the same thing

We’ll handle the rest

‘Cause I love you.”

 

Fizzarolli looked at Asmodeus and stuck out his long striped forked tongue, indicating his disgust. He and Asmodeus happily leaned their cheeks into each other. Fizzarolli then looked at the two imps with one curious and hopeful eye. Verosika drank from a martini glass in the background.

 

“‘Cause I love you,” Moxxie finished. Millie touched Moxxie’s face and hair. Millie and Moxxie leaned into each other and shared a passionate, romantic kiss.

 

Despite the nightclub being sexually themed, the audience clapped for Moxxie and Millie’s duet, perhaps appreciating the rare romantic loving relationship that was hardly ever experienced nor encouraged in Hell. Fizzarolli also secretly enjoyed the whole-heartedness of it. He had not witnessed nor felt that hint of innocence since…

 

Since that handsome Asmodeus helped erase his pathetic past as an imp. When he left that horse-loving accident-prone of an imp behind. Asmodeus gave him a new cybernetic life of fame, sex and glory. He had been born anew and had risen to the rank of Asmodeus’ number one performer…and lover. Fizzarolli was surely living the dream.

 

Before long, Stolas looked with concern at Blitzo, who was angry and closed off. Stolas tentatively reached a black hand to comfort him, but Blitzo pulled back with a clenched hand.

 

“You know what? This was a mistake. Alright, let’s just…let’s just leave.”

 

A disheartened Stolas responded, “Oh. Right. Of course.”

 

Both of them got up from their chairs.

 

“I’ll take you home in my van,” Blitzo offered, looking straight ahead.

 

“Ok then.”

 

Blitzo crossed his arms and Stolas clutched his head, both of them feeling vulnerable, exposed and worn out.

 

Moxxie and Millie finished their kiss around the pole. They turned and saw Asmodeus and Fizzarolli watching. Fizzarolli sat with crossed arms and a disgusted look on his face.

 

“Aw…ain’t that just such a happy display?” Asmodeus asked with a forced smile. “It sickens me!” Then in an angry low demonic voice he growled, “Get the fuck out!”

 

Moxxie and Millie promptly ran out of the building and headed back to their house. 

 

After The Show

Blitzo drove the IMP van through a portal that Stolas created, stopping by a water fountain at the front of Stolas’ castle. Stolas winced as he bumped his head getting out of the van. Stolas tossed some apple-shaped straw holders back in the van before closing the door. He peered through the open window.

 

“Thank you for…inviting me out tonight. Despite everything that’s happened, I…I enjoyed spending time with you.”

 

“Yeah,” an irritated Blitzo replied, not looking at him.

 

“You know, I have some more wine in the house. Octavia’s with her mother this weekend so we could…”

 

“I’m not fucking you tonight, okay?” Blitzo spat. “I’m really just…” He sighed. “I’m really not in the mood, Stolas.”

 

“We could talk, or…watch a movie, or…maybe cuddle?” Stolas suggested, trying to soften the mood.

 

Blitzo glared at Stolas, anger and pain in his eyes. “Stolas, don’t act like what we have is anything but you wanting me to fuck you, okay?” His voice broke in sadness, “You make that really clear all the time.” He added, eyes downcast, face turned away, “But I just, I-I can’t do it tonight, okay?”

 

Stolas and Blitzo stared at each other with sad looks on their faces. “I’m sorry,” said Blitzo. 

 

“Okay,” Stolas sighed, with a sorrowful bow. He stood up and stepped back. “Goodnight, Blitz.”

 

“Night,” said Blitzo.

 

Blitzo drove away from the castle and out of sight. Stolas was left all by himself again. Shedding a tear, he sat alone on the steps, head in his hands. Everything was his fault, it seemed. Just when he thought that he and Blitzo had grown closer…Blitzo had pushed him away.

 

Just like Stella and Octavia.

 

All because of his sexual urges and mistakes.

 

More tears fell from his eyes. Would Blitzo break up with him like Stella? Would he be truly alone?

 

Stolas looked up forlornly at the starry crimson sky…and for the first time, he felt like the cosmos and fate were watching over him instead of the other way around.

 

0 0 0

 

Meanwhile, Blitzo arrived back at his one-bedroom apartment. A ceiling fan was overhead and a sign read “Home,” in bold letters. He flicked on the light and walked inside, his shadow moving along the wall. Crowded on the striped wall were drawings of cartoon horses and pictures of Blitzo and his employees. One showed the backs of Moxxie and Millie while another showed Loona flipping the bird. In another picture with all four members, Blitzo had scribbled himself out of it. In another one with Loona, he had blacked himself out. Even in a picture with his sister, he was scribbled out.

 

It was a deep hidden insecurity of his. Although he projected confidence on the outside, there was this nagging fear of not being seen as good enough. A leftover trait thanks to his father Donner.

 

Blitzo walked pass Loona’s adoption certificate, which hung on the wall in a picture frame decorated with horns at the top. He came to a gray door with yellow and black police tape on it. A sign decorated with dog bones drawn on it read “Loona’s Room.” More signs read, “Keep Out,” “Must Remain Locked At All Times,” and “Danger: Beware of Dog.”

 

Blitzo picked off a note on the door: “Tex invited me to a party. Be back late. don’t wait up!” Worried once again of his adoptive daughter’s safety and choices, he slumped across the couch in defeat with a groan. A blue blanket decorated with horses and horseshoes was draped over the striped couch. He lay on a pillow and took out his cell phone. It read 3:27AM and had a pentagram touch logo on it. He pressed it and the screen opened up. The wallpaper showed a grinning Bitzo and Millie with an angry Moxxie and Loona, the typical emotions of the group. The home screen showed a drawing of Blitzo with “Me” labeled on it. Many icons popped up, Instagram with a pentagram on it, a Vox TV logo, “Bee Eats,” 99 + unread texts and emails, the upside down McDonalds logo, NV, a Mammon money logo, and a fancy LM with an apple and snake for Lucifer.

 

He tapped a pictures logo and a picture of Stolas sleeping soundly next to him appeared. He swiped it to the left to show the second picture, Blitzo smiling with Moxxie and Millie, drinking bubble tea. The third picture showed Blitzo holding an IMP name tag to Moxxie, when Moxxie first joined I.M.P. He had been a great addition to the company with his expertise on weapons. It was around the same time that Millie had joined as well. The fourth one showed Blitzo beaming while holding an adoption certificate. Loona growled in the background, wearing a red shirt with a skull on it.

 

The fifth picture left more unpleasant memories in Blitzo’s mind, for this one showed Blitzo in a tux posing with Verosika who was wearing a black sparkling dress. This was back before Blitzo made all the selfish mistakes, back when they were still together. Before Verosika got carried away by fame and decided to leave him behind. Or rather, Blitzo became insecure and pushed her away. It appeared that Verosika was more inclined to use him for sex and to brag about her own talents than anything else.

 

Some part of him sensed that Verosika missed him and still cared for him. It was the same irrational part that convinced him that he still loved her. That she was a victim of fame and circumstance. But then the thought would vanish and he would feel anger and a desire to never see her again.

 

The sixth picture was interesting. It showed Blitzo posing with none other than his childhood friend Fizzarolli. It was back when they were teenagers. Blitzo had braces in his sharp fangs. Fizzarolli had been a regular red faced imp, with the same black heart-shaped mark that was on Blitzo’s forehead. He had black dots on his cheeks. Blitzo wore a black shirt with “Mammon” in yellow on it. Fizzarolli wore a yellow shirt with a black “M” and a dollar sign on it. Interestingly enough, Blitzo’s white mark was gone. Both had greatly admired the jester Ring Ruler for his wealth and ability to entertain. He was a role model; a promise of a better life for them both.

 

This was back when both imps performed at the circus together…like the brothers they were. After a terrible circus accident involving fire and dangerous animals, Blitzo had gotten the permanent white scar on the right side of his face. Fizzarolli was not so lucky. Suffering serious burns, he was saved only when Mammon and Asmodeus had attended the show when they heard of the incredible performances of Blitzo, Fizzarolli and Barbie Wire. Seizing the chance to be in Mammon’s good graces, Fizzarolli made a deal with them and soon became Asmodeus’ lover and sex cyborg performer. After his legs, arms and horns were brutally torn off, he was equipped with long robotic prosthetics and used makeup to cover all his imp features. Fizzarolli had been ashamed of his imp features the more he admired the big Overlords. While Fizzarolli desperately wanted to not be seen as an imp, Blitzo wanted others to see that he could live life as an imp.

 

Relieved at being able to hide his imp status so well, Fizzarolli quickly rose up the ranks and became the top performer at Ozzie’s. But he never forgave Blitzo for casing the accident and trying to upstage him. Meanwhile, Blitzo had remained stuck as a clown at Loo-Loo Land with Robo Fizz, resenting his former friend surpassing him and mocking him. It was a terrible betrayal that would always haunt him.

 

But a small part of him still cared for Fizzarolli…he was family and another victim of fame and pride. And he also thought that Fizzarolli might felt regret at leaving him behind. Perhaps if things had turned out differently…

 

Blitzo shook those thought away and continued scrolling.

 

The seventh picture increased his melancholy, for it showed Blitzo and Fizzarolli posing together as little kids, arm in arm. Fizzarolli wore a white clown suit and Blitzo wore suspenders.

 

The last picture made Blitzo’s eyes grow wide. Just the sight of it broke him many times inside. For this one showed him and his sister Barbie Wire as little kids. They posed happily together, showing a card that read a misspelled “Happy Berth Moma.” And there was the kind-faced woman behind them, her hair long and black with a gray streak in it. She was Tilla, their mother who also acted like a playful older sister.  Tilla even performed with them on several occasions. Unfortunately, she had tragically passed away. Blitzo still wore her red skull necklace around his neck. This tragic event had made Donner more abusive toward Blitzo and his sister. Barbie Wire and Blitzo performed at the circus to earn what they could and to ease their pain.

 

But in her grief, Barbie Wire had spiraled down too much when it came to drugs. She soon ended up in rehab, where she briefly fucked with Verosika. Blitzo hadn’t seen his beloved twin since.

 

So many lovers and loved ones gone from his life. Because of him. Dying alone seemed more and more imminent.

 

Tears spilled out of Blitzo’s eyes and he sobbed deeply into his pillow.