Saturday, January 4, 2025

Rolando's Revenge Season 1 Episode 1: Envy Sweet Envy

 



 

Rolando, burned and barely alive, lay in a heap on a black sandy beach. It had taken all of his remaining strength just to head back to his room in his shadowy form and retrieve the crystal to go back to Hell. He was grateful to have been able to sense the energy of the crystal from his room…he was mostly blind otherwise. His clothes were torn, his body burned, and his glasses shattered.

 

Being beaten by Blitzo and Millie and being electrocuted in the pool was incredibly agonizing. Aside from slowly re-materializing from his shadow form, he felt utterly powerless. He couldn’t see, couldn’t teleport and he could barely move.

 

Worst of all, he was starving like Hell. Infestor demons depended on meat and negative energy as their primary food sources. Of course, their own negative energy didn’t exactly count…for who would dare try to feed off themselves?

 

The salt ocean water swept over Rolando’s body, making the wounds sting. He cried out and rolled toward shore pathetically like a fish flopping on the beach for air. Rolando almost wished he had gone out of existence back at the pool.

 

He stared at the indigo sky with his remaining charred yellow eye and before he passed out, he felt a faint sense of relief that he was home.

 

0 0 0

 

Rolando woke up in a hospital in the Envy Ring. Nurse sharks tended to his burns, leaving him in bandages for a while. Replacing his right eye was too expensive, but they managed to support the left one with some wires and tech from the Sloth Ring hospitals. He briefly had an IV attached to his arm, giving him blood and healing water.

 

“Fautrau’s friend found you on the beach and identified you for us,” explained the nurse. “I’m honestly surprised you survived such an event. Logically you should be dead by now.”

 

‘I wish I was,’ he thought. All he could do was groan in response.

 

It took several weeks for the burns to heal and several more weeks to learn how to walk again.

 

“It may be a couple of months before you’re able to transform into your underwater form,” one of the nurses stated.

 

‘My powers? Gone?! No, no, this can’t be happening!’

 

The Envy Ring was surrounded by thin ocean water, thin enough for the denizens to wander on land without having to worry about getting too dry. But a much thicker sea was below the city, the perfect realm for vibrant sea life.

 

Saying goodbye to the main ocean…it was incredibly sad, but doable.

 

When Rolando was well enough to walk and his thinking was almost back to normal, another nurse talked to the demon who had found Rolando on the beach.

 

“Be sure to keep an eye on him,” she said.

 

The demon nodded. “I will. But I have a feeling it may take a while for him to adjust back to Envian life.”

 

The demon walked over to Rolando.

 

“I’ll take you home,” he said to Rolando. He guided Rolando to a blue liquid vehicle shaped like an eel. Rolando curled in the back seat as the demon drove and continued. “I’ll let Fautrau and Georgina know you’re okay. But bad news mate…your trip to the hospital has left you broke. But don’t worry, your job at ‘Happy Ocean Vegetable Farm’ starts tomorrow!”

 

Rolando let out a hoarse croak of protest. He stared in disgust at the light blue hospital gown he wore.

 

The demon shrugged. “I’m sorry, but that’s the best I could do. I didn’t know if you’d come back alive or not and when I heard you were…not exactly following the rules on Earth, I figured you’d need something just in case.”

 

Rolando sighed.

 

“The janitor and burger flipping jobs were taken,” the demon added.

 

‘Who even are you?’ Rolando thought.

 

“Surprised you asked this late,” said the demon, reading his thoughts. He gave him a small smile of sharp teeth. His eyes glowed blue and his skin was dark gray with a few black spots. His ears were small fins on either side of his head. His hair was white and short, matching his transparent white fins along his back. He wore blue jeans and a black sweater and a shark-tooth necklace. “I’m Typhon.”

 

The ride was silent until Typhon asked in thought: ‘Do you want me to try and contact your parents?’

 

Rolando turned away in response. His mother Roberta and his father Roderick had left him a long time ago once he became of age to survive on his own. It was normal for many families in Envy. He couldn’t even contact their phone numbers or anything. To run back to one’s parents would be seen as cowardice to many, running away from adulthood. It was almost as bad as getting hundreds of negative comments on your online profile.

 

‘I’m sorry, man,’ Typhon continued to him in his mind. ‘My dad died when I was young, but my mom let my uncle raise me in secret. I know you haven’t seen any of us since…’

 

‘Since I was assigned to haunt humans at the One Star Wonder Hotel,’ Rolando thought.

 

Typhon led him back to his house. It was a small penthouse made of light blue coral and marble. Typhon opened the seahorse-shaped door handles. They stepped into a living room with a flat TV, a seaweed-covered carpet and nice sea sponge couches.

 

Rolando thought of his small cave home and how it looked nothing like Typhon’s spacious place.

 

“I know where your underwater cave is,” said Typhon. “Hopefully you’ll be able to get back soon. My wife and kids are asleep so don’t wake them. You can stay with me and sleep on the couch while you recover. But food and rent is all on you.”

 

Rolando nodded somberly.

 

Typhon smirked playfully. “Kinda fun now that I can read your thoughts, and you can’t. I bet you’d be bait for even children infestors now.”

 

Rolando seized up and froze. His remaining eye twitched.

 

“It might be hard without your infestation ability for a while…” Typhon continued.

 

Rolando’s body shook and hovering a few inches off the ground, he bent his head almost completely backwards.

 

Typhon stepped back. “Rolando, what the fuck are you doing…?”

 

Rolando let out frustrated growls and then a distorted despairing cry.

 

“Hey, settle down!”

 

Rolando rolled over toward the wall and banged his head several times, leaving deep cracks.

 

“Not cool, mate!” Typhon chided, folding his arms.

 

‘YOU’RE TELLING ME I CAN’T INFEST ANYMORE?!’

 

“No, Rolando! I didn’t say that…!” Typhon called.

 

“Ty!” called a voice from upstairs. “Is everything alright?”

 

“Yes, my precious pearl!” Typhon called. “Just…playing a soccer match on my Sea-S-3 console!”

 

‘EVERYONE GETTING INTO MY HEAD…NEVER TASTING ANYONE’S DESPAIR AGAIN? INFESTING’S WHO I AM, MY VERY PURPOSE!’

 

“I know, Rolando, you don’t have to scream into my mind!” Typhon flinched, covering his ears. “Just listen to me…”

 

He stumbled into the kitchen and winced as he grabbed…

 

“OH, FUCK NO!” cried Typhon.

 

Rolando held a knife up to his throat with a shaking hand.

 

“No offing yourself under my roof!” Typhon scolded.

 

‘IF I CAN’T INVADE MINDS, WHAT’S THE POINT?!’

 

“You’ll get your powers back…hopefully,” Typhon mentioned.

 

Typhon stared hard at Rolando, sending a force that caused him to drop the knife. It landed with a clatter on the kitchen floor. Rolando swung out his fists, which Typhon easily blocked.

 

“You’re not the top fish anymore, don’t waste your energy.”

 

‘EVERYONE SHOULD FEAR ME!’

 

“I am afraid…I’m afraid of what you’ll do to yourself in this state,” Typhon mentioned with a sad look.

 

‘I’M GONNA KILL THAT BETHANY GHOSTFUCKER IMP DICK!’

 

“Not in this state, you won’t.”

 

Rolando jabbed at him with several kicks, but to no effect. Typhon sent a force that sent Rolando sliding across the floor and just slightly against the wall. He was lifted up into the air by Typhon’s telekinesis, carried to the living room and dropped hard onto the couch.

 

‘YOU PRICK…LET ME GO…!’

 

Typhon barred his teeth and roared loudly into his face. In an instant, Typhon had shifted into shadowy liquid and peered into his mind.

 

“GET OUT OF MY HEAD…”

 

Typhon could hear him speak. “You’re an infestor demon…you should be used to this feeling. You’ve had other infestors in your head as practice many times.”

 

Rolando was chained to a seat in his own mental movie theater. Typhon looked up at the green tinted screen and saw Rolando’s memory of fighting Blitzo and Millie and getting electrocuted in the pool.

 

“NO, NO, NO…”

 

“Keep watching, Rolando,” Typhon chided. “It’s the only way to move forward.”

 

“NO!”

 

“If you don’t want me to also see your most embarrassing moments, then listen.”

 

Rolando choked, then took several deep breaths, barring his teeth.

 

Typhon appeared next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I know you’ve been through a lot, and I know you don’t even know who the hell I am. But let’s get some things straight. You’re not at the hotel anymore and you’re not at your home. While under my house, you need to be on your best behavior.”

 

“You gonna torment me, too? Embarrass me?” Rolando spat.

 

“You know infestor friends only do that to each other as occasional pranks. I’m being dead serious. If you aren’t eldritch enough to settle down and live responsibly, I could easily send you off on your way as a homeless fish man! If you don’t want that, then buckle the fuck up, buttercup!”

 

Rolando gulped.

 

“Are we clear on this?”

 

Rolando nodded. A flood of regret and exhaustion came over him. “Oh Satan…I…I don’t know what came over me…”

 

Typhon smiled softly. “Well, you brain may have been a little fried during the experience, so…”

 

Typhon waved a clawed hand and stepped back. “This is your one chance. I’m gonna let you go now. No more complaining, no more recklessness.”

 

Typhon vanished in a dark stream and rematerialized in front of him in the living room.

 

‘As for that happy farmer job, forget it! Not happening.’ Rolando scowled.

 

“You’ll thank me later.”

 

‘Why?’

 

Rolando soon found out why when Typhon returned a few hours later.

 

“I found your cellphone form your cave and charged it.” Typhon winced. “Your friends are glad you’re okay, but they want to see you well and back in the ocean. And look here. It’s a pre-recorded message…I think you’d better listen to it.”

 

Rolando turned pale. His phone read “Message from Queen Leviathan.”

 

Queen Leviathan appeared on screen, sitting at her desk, holding a long black cigarette in her hands. She wore a short black shirt with an open diamond hole in the center. The swirl design on the right was deep purple and the one on the left was lavender. Leviathan had two heads. On the left was the cheerful white head with pearl earrings on her fin ears, and large black eyes with green pupils and thick hair of purple, black and white. The head on the right was more cynical and shaped like a purple dragon. It had glowing green eyes and thick tentacle hair with green glowing spots and was different shades of purple and white. Both of them wore light green pearl necklaces as well.

 

Queen Leviathan’s purple head spoke.

 

“Greetings, Rolando. As my top infestor demon, I have noticed that you have not reported to me since the start of your assignment. If you are dead, then I hope you find peace. If not, listen carefully. Sensing snippets of your thoughts and activities, my royal inspectors have observed you and have found your sloppy reckless killings to be unacceptable, even for an infestor. The rules were to infest certain humans to make them fearful so the demon race can eventually infiltrate Earth along with the succubi, imps, and other species in the proper timeframe. You were explicitly told to only kill those who know about Hell and to properly hide your evidence. You have failed to comply and instead have carelessly left your messes behind and risked humans knowing of your existence and of our own. Your sadistic cravings for fear and blood almost jeopardized the greater mission for demonkind. It is my regret to inform you of your permanent suspension from my mortal infestation project.”

 

Leviathan’s white head piped up. “In other words, Rolando, you’re fired! I’m sorry! I hope you have a nice day!”

 

The screen turned black.

 

“The look on your face is beyond priceless, right now!” Typhon giggled, snapping a picture on his phone.

 

Rolando could barely think. He had no powers, no job, and worst of all, he had no negativity in him except his own.

 

“Oh, and you’ll be paying to fix my wall,” Typhon also mentioned before disappearing up the stairs.

 

Rolando slammed his head against the couch armrest.

 

 

 

The next morning at sunrise, Rolando folded his arms as he stood wearing a light blue dress-like apron and a long blond wig over his bald head. He had to settle for cheap pink sunglasses shaped like hearts to wear over what was left of his eyes. On the front of his apron was a yellow happy face with “Love Brings Me Joy!” written in gold letters on the front.

 

‘This is ridiculous! Utterly ridiculous!’

 

Typhon giggled and gave him a thumbs-up before heading off with his lavender-colored fish wife and two little guppies trailing behind.

 

“Howdy, howdy there,” smiled a giant great white shark wearing overalls with the Happy Ocean Vegetable logo. “The names Big Blanc. Here’s your starting kit.” He handed Rolando a plow and mentioned to an underwater field of seaweed, flowers, fruits, and sea cucumbers.

 

“This here is our special community garden. Your job is simple: tend it from sunrise to sunset!” Muscular sharks were lifting rocks and a few fish in uniforms were giving tours.

 

“Help us sell our products!” the shark continued. “We have sold sixty ocean fruit, one hundred thirty flowers and over three hundred hallmark cards…we’re always trying to beat our record!”

 

Rolando hung his head.

 

“Don’t worry about your voice, I’m sure it will return in a bit or so. Good luck, little mute man!” called the shark with a wink. “Oh, and don’t forget to entertain the guppies!”

 

‘The what…?’

 

Rolando soon found himself assaulted and knocked over by a swarm of little rainbow fish and a few electric eels. He let out a cracked yell. The fish kids were estatic.

 

“Who’s this guy?”

 

“He looks so funny in those glasses! Hahahaha!”

 

“Hey, do you play soccer?”

 

“Give me some berries! Now!”

 

“I got your ear! I got your ear!”

 

Rolando tried to scare them, but they burst into laughter. The positive emotions were making him nauseous.

 

“Come along kids,” said one of the parents. “That guy’s got a lot of work to do!”

 

Rolando sighed as he stared at the endless rows of dirt.

 

‘Such tedious commoner work!’ Rolando thought as he strained his back, planting seeds, pulling up vegetables and carrying big loads for the customers. Several times, he accidentally rammed into carts and other workers.

 

“Watch where you’re going,” snarled a bipedal fish with spikes along his face and back.

 

Two days a week, he worked at the desk, selling love cards.

 

“Keep it up, Ronaldo! Keep those souls coming in!” called the shark manager.

 

‘It’s Rolando!’ he seethed.

 

“Remember the motto?” asked Big Blanc. “Go ahead and say it out loud this time!”

 

“Happy Ocean Vegetable Garden, we love to spread cheer, and we love to serve you here,” Rolando recited in a mundane tone at the counter. It hurt to finally use his voice.

 

“I asked to return this bag of melons, why’d you make it so expensive anyway?” asked a fish customer with hands on her hips. “You people need to do your job, properly like back in the old days…bottom-feeder laborers I swear…”

 

“Are you blind, you hick?!” scowled another lady at Rolando, carrying a purse in her hand and reaching for a bouquet of flowers. “I was supposed to get 25% off these flowers and I’m running out of cash! Do you want my husband to get mad at me for being late?”

 

“Yes…”

 

She slapped him hard. “What a one star wonder you are!” She huffed and stormed away.

 

Rolando had to stay extra hours to compensate for his “sour resting fish face.” He was lectured further at more meetings until the sky was beyond black.

 

“Hi, old man!” hollered a bunch of kids in his ear during another shift. One of the fish kids went to the bathroom on his shoe. He had to resist the urge to kick him. Several baby eels and fish cried nearby and wouldn’t stop until they finally fell asleep in their parent’s fins. Later on, Rolando flinched as a dog fish swam over and licked him on his cheek.

 

“Gross!”

 

Rolando watched people kissing, laughing, and mocking him as he worked day after day. No negativity and no meat anywhere. He felt weak and feeble, and several times he had to race to a trash can when it got to be too much.

 

It was utter Hell…and Envy was hellish enough.

 

“Sooo, how was your first week at work?” Typhon smirked as Rolando slouched into the room. “Fun waking up at five in the morning?”

 

Rolando collapsed onto the couch. “Do I really…need to tell you?”

 

Typhon laughed. “Oh right, you don’t need to tell me! I can read all your thoughts!”

 

“Go away!”

 

Typhon held up his claws. “Okay then. Mr. grumpy gills wants to be alone. Lonely. Fine by me. I was just going to head out with my family anyway. We’re going to an infest fest event in the ocean…oh…”

 

Rolando glowered. He didn’t have the strength to use his possession powers yet…he needed a lot more negative energy.

 

Typhon looked concerned. “That’s okay, mate. I know you can’t join in the contests anymore, but…I’ll be sure to save you a taste of meat. Or negativity, somewhere.”

 

“Thanks,” Rolando sighed.

 

“Shella!” Typhon called to his wife. “Billy, Bobby, let’s hit the stream!” Two bipedal pufferfish boys followed their parents as they headed out the door. Rolando was relieved when he got to eat meat from fish, sharks, eels and even some other demons that Typhon had bought for him at the store. But no food could compare to the insecurities of others. So he ate without much satisfaction.

 

The weeks went by. The only good thing that happened was when Rolando could eventually shapeshift into his underwater form.

 

“Oh, thank Tiamat,” Rolando sighed in relief after a lot of practice. “I need to get home and hunt some fish asap.”

 

He had been hunting fish and smaller creatures ever since his parents taught him long ago. The taste of meat and the fear from them was always satisfying enough for the moment.

 

“I gave you some dead fish yesterday,” Typhon mentioned.

 

“But with no fear left inside! There was no flavor!”

 

“Bitch, you have no flavor!” Typhon playfully elbowed him and rubbed his fingers together.

 

Rolando and Typhon stood outside Typhon’s home.

 

Rolando sighed and gave Typhon a bag of two hundred souls plus extra to repair the wall.

 

‘Thank you,’ he thought to Typhon.

 

“Hey, no problem. Come visit anytime,” said Typhon. “But remember, stay at your job and no reckless behavior.”

 

‘When I come back and invade your mind…’ Rolando thought.

 

‘You won’t stand a chance,’ Typhon responded playfully in his head. ‘I’ll embarrass you in your mind so much, you’ll laugh at your own foolishness. Go ahead, your pals are waiting.’

 

Rolando stared at the ocean in the distance and showed a genuine smile for the first time since his return.


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