Rolando Reacts to Sinsmas

 

Rolando: (sings)

“We wish you a scary Sinsmas, we wish you a scary Sinsmas, we wish you a scary Sinsmas and a creepy New Year! Rejoice in our sin and may the best win, enjoyment on Sinsmas, hope to live past next year! We wish you a scary Sinsmas, we wish you a scary Sinsmas, we wish you a scary Sinsmas and a creepy New Year! Go bring us some mortal souls now, go bring us some mortal souls now, go bring us some mortal souls now, and bring them right here! We won’t go until we get some, we won’t go until we get some, we won’t go until we get some, so bring them right…”

 

Rolando: “Oh! *laughs in surprise* Hello there again, mortal! Happy Hellidays and a very scary Sinsmas to you! I’m here in my human disguise this time, I’m pretty dashing, right? Sorry about the food scare last time, but I promise I have even better treats this time. Have you ever tried Eel, Levia-liquor, and salted fish? These came fresh from Envy. Of course, if you’d like other things, I have Beelzejuice, Gluton-Honey, Sin Gin, spicy ice cream, and vegetables from the Wrath Ring. Don’t ask how I can still get food…it’s never as good as negative emotions anyway. Oh, you don’t have to worry about me getting drunk, I’m already dead.

 

So…are you ready for the last episode of season 2? Let’s get started!”

 

 

Stolas woke up in a pile of stuffed animals. Blitzo smiled as he made breakfast.

 

“Well, good morning there, Prince-Sleeps-A-Lot!” he called.

 

Rolando: “Urgh! Not him again! How many times do I have to see that cum-stained lowborn?!”

 

“Did you sleep well, big bird?” Blitzo asked.

 

Stolas yawned. “Best I could, I suppose.”

 

Stolas looked around. “Uhh…my Blitz…hoohoo…you sure have a lot of…horses. Iiiisss there a story behind that?”

 

Blitzo looked downcast as black smoke rose. “There is…but it’s way too long, and way too traumatic.”

 

Rolando: “Heheheh, yes, because I saw those memories, Blitzo!”

 

Blitzo called to Stolas, “Breakfast will be ready in a jiff!”

 

Rolando: “Oh, screw you!”

 

“Blitz, um,” said Stolas in the bathroom. “Would you be able to grab some…”

 

“Grab some what?” Blitzo asked.

 

“Nevermind!”

 

Stolas and Blitzo sat down.

 

“Okay, so I don’t know what you eat, so I just made a little of everything in hopes that something works for ya,” said Blitzo. “Got some eggs, made ’em special!”

 

Stolas looked disgusted.

 

Blitzo paused. “Oh. Oh shit. I’m sorry. Is this…th-that’s like cannibalism for you, isn’t it?”

 

“No, just rather off-putting. But it’s protein, I suppose.”

 

Rolando: (sing song voice) “Stolas is a cannibal!” *Eats his Envian fish*

 

“Uh-huh,” said Blitzo. “So w-wha-what do you normally eat?”

 

“Normally I dine on a custom diet prepared by my waiting staff; full of essential nutrients and freshly prepared rarities such as roasted vole or…fire koi?”

 

Blitzo stared.

 

“A fresh kale salad?” Stolas asked hopefully.

 

“Oh, nice. Anything that I can get that’s affordable?”

 

“Maybe some…rats?” Stolas asked.

 

Rolando: “Gross.”

 

“On it!” Blitzo called. “I’ll grab my stompers and head out to that alley this afternoon.

 

Rolando: “Envian eel, fried fish and negativity are far better meals, trust me.”

 

“Mmm, well that’d be nice,” Stolas mentioned. “Rats were always Via’s favorite snack.”

 

“Oh no! Where’s your phone?” Stolas asked.

 

The cell phone rang in Stolas’ palace and Octavia reached for it. Stella grabbed it. Stella smirked evilly and dangled it in front of Octavia’s face.

 

“Sorry, sweetie, no talking to that deadbeat!” Stella mocked.

 

Rolando: “Ohohoho shit! That is diabolical!”

 

“Andrealphus! Look who’s finally calling!”

 

“Oooh! Took him this long? That’s hilarious!”

 

Stella gleefully added, “He thinks he’s going to talk to his daughter! Hilarious!”

 

Octavia folded her arms, looking away sadly.

 

Rolando: “If only I could taste Stolas’ despair now!”

 

“Hilarious!” Andrealphus added as the two royal siblings laughed. Octavia raced out of the room in tears.

 

Rolando: “That owl girl is so traumatized right now!”

 

“Pick up! Pick up! Pick up!” Stolas pleaded. “Via, dear, please pick up. Please pick up.” Stolas slumped onto the floor. There was no answer. Stolas tapped on the screen. “No! No, no, no. Shit.”

 

Blitzo ran over. “Hey, hey, hey, whoa! Look I’m sure it’s gonna be okay, alright? I-I’m sure she’s…”

 

Stolas stared sadly at the floor.

 

“…she’s just away from the phone right now, okay? And breathe. It’ll be okay.”

 

Blitzo helped Stolas up and they walked through an outdoor imp marketplace together. One merchant imp glared at Stolas as he walked by. One imp glared at him as he stood in line at a grocery store and more imps angrily raised their fists.

 

Rolando: “Oh, that’s hilarious! *laughs*. Poor Stolas getting screwed over by all the lowborn imps! Ha! How does it feel to not be a pompous prick anymore?!”

 

Blitzo and Stolas talked in a laundromat and soap zoomed out of the machine and hit Stolas in the face. More imps seethed at them, one male imp shirtless.

 

Rolando: *laughs*

 

Stolas looked in Blitzo’s closet for his Sloth Ring happy pills. Blitzo gasped as his apartment caught on fire.

 

Rolando: “Oops, heheheh.”

 

At a diner, the waitress imp poured coffee for Blitzo and spat in Stolas’ drink.

 

Rolando: *laughs* “My goodness! Won’t want to be you, Stolas!”

 

Another imp pointed and laughed, but Blitzo whirled around and smashed a plate of food into the imp’s face. The waitress tackled Blitzo.

 

Stolas tried on various outfits in a clothing store. Blitzo leaped and tried to catch a black Hell rat for Stolas to eat. Stolas sadly stared at his phone…no response from Via. Blitzo looked at Stolas as the rat chewed his eyeball.

 

Rolando: “Oh man, this is too good!”

 

Stolas tried on more clothes at the store, the shopkeeper imp annoyed. He swiped his card but “card declined” appeared on the screen. The succubus cashier yelled at the duo. Stolas and Blitzo made a run for it with their stolen items.

 

“Is this how everyone acts when they don’t have money?” Stolas called as they ran.

 

“Nope,” Blitzo grinned. “This is how I act when I don’t have money!”

 

Rolando: “Stealing shit’s not gonna help you guys!”

 

Stolas slumped on the couch in despair.

 

Rolando: *chuckles*

 

“Eyyy Stolas!” Blitzo called. “Merry Sinsmas!”

 

He flipped over the couch.

 

“Ahhh! What the fuck was that for?!” Stolas snapped.

 

“Uh, it’s Sinsmas!” Blitzo exclaimed. “You know, the day every Hellborn celebrates and acts on their birth sin? Or any sin, whichever ones they want, honestly!”

 

*Pauses video*

 

Rolando: “Oh Sinsmas! Such a lovely helliday! My family and friends have special traditions. Back in Envy, me and my buddies would try to get into each other’s minds…and I would almost always win. And then whoever won would get to lead our rampage to mentally torment the weaklings! I remember watching the little wimps sob and cry and then one of my buddies would film their darkest secrets on their phone. Hahahaha! Of course, I remember hunting eel, fish and shark with mother and singing and sewing with father. Chilling with my siblings and buddies when they would come along to visit. We had our own underwater cave of crystals, and we would decorate the place with glowing escas and a coral tree. My parents gave me lots of praise, not necessarily what mortals call ‘love.’ Of course, this was all before…my parents left me to live on my own…and me getting assigned by Queen Leviathan to haunt humans at the One Star Wonder…enjoying my killings, alone. All by myself…until Blitzo k-k-kicked me in the pool and…”

 

Rolando: *voice cracks* “Excuse me…”

 

*Glass shatters* *Food and plates crashes to theater floor*

 

*Punches overhead projector* “STOP REPLAYING MY MEMORIES YOU PIECE OF SHIT!”

 

*distorted cries*

 

*Gulps down Envi-vino wine and Leg-Nog*

 

“C-can you believe this shit! I have n-no theme song, no ASMR…hardly any merch…even that Chaz shark prick has more stuff than me and he’s dead too! I’m the most menacing villain in the so called ‘Hellaverse’ and what do I fucking get?! NOTHING!”

 

Rolando: *breathes shakingly and sniffs* *clears throat* “S-sorry about that. I hate it when my own negativity comes up! Let’s continue.”

 

“I cannot say I’m familiar with this holiday,” Stolas mentioned.

 

“Really?” asked Blitzo. “Wow, rich people don’t have any fun, do they?”

 

“No, fun is free, but we can afford nice things,” Stolas mentioned.

 

Rolando: *hoarse throat* “Oh s-shut up, birdbrain!”

 

“You know what might help that privileged little attitude?” Blitzo asked.

 

Rolando: “Me getting into Stolas’ head!”

 

“Paperwork!” Blitzo called. “Why dontcha come on with me to the office, and help Loony wi-wh-you know whatever the fuck her job is?”

 

Loona gave him a wide-eyed look as she ate from a box of dog biscuits.

 

“Eugh, you have to spend your holiday at work?” Stolas asked.

 

Rolando: “Welcome to the real world, asshole.”

 

“I choose to spend my holiday at work!” Blitzo declared. “See last year, I set my apartment on fire, so this year, we’re doing it at the office. It’s insured.”

 

Rolando: “I hope your business burns up, too!”

 

Stolas groaned as he made his way out the door. Blitzo pulled Loona along. They entered the office, which had candles and lights for decorations.

 

“Oof, oh, son of a bitch,” Stolas bonked his head walking into the room.

 

Loona carried bags of chips in her hands, Chaos Chips and Brimstone Bites. Moxxie and Millie were play-fighting and wrestling around the space.

 

Rolando: “What a bunch of clowns, I swear!”

 

“Ow! Millie!” Moxxie cried. He tried to jab her back, but she stabbed him in the arm with her tail.

 

“Ouch! You’re good!” Moxxie remarked.

 

They continued fighting in the kitchen, Moxxie throwing a bottle from the fridge and Millie throwing a chair. Ketchup and drinks spilled onto the floor.

 

Rolando: “Urgh, what a mess! Imps are such slobs.”

 

Millie hung from a wreath.

 

Moxxie did playful growls.

 

“I’m gonna bite you, Millie!”

 

“You always make me watch old musicals when I wanna watch Cleaver Hand 6: Ultimate Cleavage!”

 

She punched a hole in the fridge door.

 

She leaped onto Moxxie and the couple rolled into the office.

 

“Well, you snore all the time!” Moxxie retorted.

 

Millie kicked Moxxie off and held out a curved sword. “I will wreck you!”

 

Moxxie held up a wooden cannon-like blaster with six holes. “Not if I do first!”

 

They both laughed as Millie flipped and dodged the blasts. Stolas looked on in sheer shock. He clutched his face as the two imps chased each other, then wrestled on the table in front of him.

 

Millie and Moxxie smiled at each other with wide happy eyes.

 

“Happy Sinsmas!” Millie greeted. They kissed…then Moxxie blasted his wife out the window with his blaster. “Happy Sinsmas, honey!” he called with a wave.

 

Rolando: *facepalms*

 

Blitzo pulled out his whiteboard, which had various horse drawings and a graph on it.

 

“Listen up, chuckle-fucks! Today, we got Stolas in the office, so I want each of your red asses on the best behavior possible.” He pointed at Moxxie.

 

“Uh, sir?” Moxxie bluntly replied. “You are literally the only one who needs to adhere to that.”

 

Rolando: “Oooh.”

 

Blitzo brushed his hands. “And that’s detention, Mox. Millie, punch him.”

 

The white board flipped over, and Millie punched Moxxie in the gut. “Oof, Aww.” He smiled lovingly at her.

 

Rolando: *chuckles softly* “H-how did she get back up so fast?!”

 

“Good, happy Sinsmas, Mox,” said Blitzo. He turned to Loona, “Now Loony…”

 

Loona popped a light orange paw-print lollipop out of her mouth as she sat with her box of biscuits with her paws on the table.

 

“Stolas wants to learn to secretate, so show him how it’s done.”

 

Loona sighed. “It’s literally this...”

 

She held the lollipop, mimicking a phone. “’Ring, ring, hello? I.M.P. – yeah, we can kill that asshole, wanna schedule an appointment? Thursday cool? See you then, dipshit. Click. It’s easy as sin, Blitz. Can I go with you guys if he’s on the phone today?”

 

“I-I mean I guess?” Blitzo pondered.

 

“Yes!” Loona cheered, pumping a fist.

 

Blitzo moved the secretary bone-shaped phone over to Stolas.

 

“See, Stolas?” Blitzo smiled. “Finally, something to help you out! Something to do! And I can pay you for it! You could use a little money coming in, right?”

 

“Money coming in?” Stolas breathed. “Oh lords…I’M POOR NOW! Oh-ho-ho-ho-fuck!” He broke down in sobs.

 

Rolando: *laughs hard* “Your despair is delicious even from here, Stolas! You’re making me dizzy!”

 

The phone rang.

 

Blitzo gasped. “Oh, answer it, answer it!”

 

Stolas sobbed and shook.

 

“You can do it, Stolas, come on, answer the phone!” Blitzo encouraged.

 

Blitzo wore a “yas queen!”  mask and waved “You go gurl” flags while everyone else watched nervously.

 

“Hello, I.M.P.?” Stolas choked. “Yes, we can kill your asshole. Immediately, just bring it here. Thank you. Good day ma’am.” He hung up.

 

“Uhh…” Blitzo froze then shrugged. “Close enough!” He patted Stolas on the head. “Good job, buddy!”

 

The door slammed open, and a Sinner woman stood at the entrance. Karen had wooden spiked horns and a dress and long pink hair.

 

“You said you could kill someone immediately?” Karen demanded.

 

“Oh…yeah! Yes, we sure can!” Blitzo nervously waved his fist.

 

“Good. Because it’s Christmas,” she said, dropping her brown purse onto Moxxie and Millie.

 

Blitzo snapped his fingers. “It’s Sinsmas, lady, get it right.”

 

Karen knocked Loona aside with her hips. “I can’t stand the idea of my fucking ex-husband enjoying this sacred holiday with my daughters when he fucking left me for another man!”

 

She lounged on the couch and filed her nails.

 

“Oh well,” Blitzo laughed nervously. “That sounds like something that can happen from time to time.”

 

“And he probably cheated on me!” Karen added.

 

“Well, that’s…” Blitzo chuckled nervously. Stolas screeched in despair. “…not really worth killing someone over though, right?” Blitzo asked.  “I mean, cheating isn’t really that big of a deal anymore, is it?”

 

Karen sat up. “Isn’t that what this business does? He doesn’t deserve to live that heinous lifestyle and poison my daughters with it.”

 

“Uh-huh. Look, I don’t think this is a job we want to take on,” Blitzo stated.

 

“Really?” Moxxie asked from the floor in Millie’s grip.

 

“Why not?” Stolas asked. “Maybe he deserves it. Selfish men like him don’t deserve to…to li-i-i-iive!” He sobbed loudly.

 

Rolando: “What delicious drama!”

 

“That…no that’s not…” Blitzo began, walking over to him. “Ugh.”

 

Blitzo turned to her. “Alright, fine, we’ll do your shitty job…”

 

Karen grinned evilly.

 

“…but you’re paying us double, bitch!” Blitzo finished. Karen glared as Blitzo, Moxxie, Millie and Loona flipped her off as they entered the pink diamond portal from Blitzo’s Asmodean crystal.

 

 

Stolas tapped at his phone and sadly sighed. “No new messages” and “refreshing” appeared on his phone. Stolas looked at his erotic novel in his notebook, holding a pen.

 

“Ugh! Don’t you have any reading material anywhere?” asked Karen. “Are we supposed to just sit here and wait? How long do they take?”

 

“They take their time, it’s a difficult business, I imagine,” Stolas sighed.

 

“You ‘imagine,’ huh? Well, they should hurry up if they expect people to just stick around without anything to do.”

 

Stolas’ eye twitched.

 

“What a shoddy business operation!” Karen complained, waving a hand. 

 

“Ooh! Here’s an idea!” Stolas called. “You could shut the fuck up!”

 

Karen gasped. “Rude.”

 

Rolando: “Suck it, bitch!”

 

Stolas gasped as the cell phone rang. He scrambled to pick it up. “Oh yes, yes, yes, yes! Hello?”

 

A voice on the phone said, “Hey, I’m calling you on your extended warranty about your new Robo Pony 2000…”

 

Stolas screamed in frustration. “AURGH!” He shattered the phone in his hands, tore off a stuffed dog head, knocked over the Sinsmas tree, flipped a couch sofa and tried in vain to flip over Loona’s desk.

 

“Aurgh! C’mon you suck, you fucking suck, you fucking piece of shit, move your fucking face you goddamn sucking motherfucker…”

 

Rolando: *laughs* “What a moron! My kills are less nasty than his words right now!”

 

Stolas stood up and grabbed at his head of hair. “GAH! WHAT A FUCKING IDIOT I AM! THIS WAS SO STUPID! I CANNOT BELIEVE I COULD BE THIS FUCKING STUPID!” He banged his head against the desk. “I RUINED EVERYTHING! MOVE, YOU SHITTY DESK!”

 

Rolando: “I need to get inside his fucked-up head, pronto! It’s killing me right now!”

 

Stolas picked up his notebook with shaking hands. “And I did it for what? These stupid foolish fantasies?!”

 

He threw the book at Karen who moved to the side with a scowl.

 

“I can’t stand it any longer! I don’t care what they fucking do!” He opened the door and raised a finger. “I’m seeing Octavia!” he declared before slamming the door.

 

Rolando: “Hahaha! Good luck with that! I’m sure your estranged daughter won’t be brainwashed by her mother and uncle and leave you in the dust!”

 

Karen picked up the notebook and sat down on the couch. “I guess it’s something to read.”

 

 

I.M.P. walked through the portal and into a snow-covered suburban neighborhood decorated for Christmas. A snowman was in the yard.

 

Blitzo shivered. “Ahhh, it is cold as shit! What is this?”

 

“Do humans have Sinsmas, too?” Millie asked. Loona picked up a Santa figure.

 

“I-I don’t think so,” Moxxie answered. “This seems to be something else.”

 

Millie glanced at a smiling angel figure holding a star and vomited.

 

“You okay, babe?” Moxxie asked.

 

“Oh yeah!” Millie coughed. “Must just be the cold.”

 

Blitzo walked over. “Okay, let’s just hurry up and kill this son of a bitch so we can get the fuck back home.”

 

Blitzo rolled into a ball in the snow and sped up to the house. He posed with his gun with an evil grin at the window.

 

Then he froze when he saw the family inside. Two little girls were laughing and sitting by their two dads. The two dads kissed and the girls shared smiles.

 

Blitzo shivered.

 

“Sir?” Moxxie asked. “This may be out of turn…but I feel like this one isn’t worth the money.”

 

“Didn’t you also hesitate to kill that cannibal family in the woods?” Blitzo reminded him.

 

“Well, yeah,” said Moxxie. “And we did kill all of them. But I feel like this is different.”

 

“How so?”

 

“They’re gay…”

 

“So?”

 

“They look innocent, sir. It’s Sinsmas and the humans are celebrating their own holiday. Can’t we just leave them be?”

 

“What?” Millie asked.

 

“I don’t think I wanna be part of this one, sir,” Moxxie said to Blitzo.

 

“You okay, dad?” Loona asked, putting an arm around Blitzo. “You know I can handle this one. You know, if you’re not up for it.”

 

“Really?”

 

She nodded.

 

Blitzo stared into space, imagining that the happy family was him spending time with Stolas, Loona, and Octavia. Octavia had a book in her stocking, Loona a bone, Stolas a plant and Blitzo a horse. Blitzo held a present in his hands, smiling with hearts in his eyes when his present was a small white horse. Loona held a mug of hot chocolate. They were all smiling, happy and whole, and they shared an embrace.

 

 

0 0 0

 

Rolando’s father and mother hovered together in their underwater crystal cave, a little Rolando munching on a baby fish they had caught for him. A younger Rolando raced through the water with his aquatic friends, no worries about trends or expectations. He rode on a giant gray moray eel, sending other demons scurrying in a panic. His friends clapped and voted him the fiercest infestor demon in Envy. He smiled and embraced his group of infestor demon friends, all of them laughing as tied up demons below then were forced to see their darkest secrets.

 

Rolando: *distorted cries* “Oh shit, why is this happening?! Urgh! I think I’m gonna be sick…”

 

Rolando: *breathes heavily* *low demonic voice* “If you breathe one word about my secrets, human, I’ll make you experience your worst fears and slowly carve you in half while doing so! That understood?! *sighs* Good. Moving on.”

 

0 0 0

 

“Nah fuck this,” Blitzo shook his head. “We’re going home.”

 

“What?” Millie asked. “Didn’t he cheat or s-s-something? Come on, this is fun! We’ve done this kind of t-t-thing before!”

 

“Just…not this one, Mils,” said Blitzo. He rubbed his crystal on his wrist, and the portal appeared. “Not today.”

 

Blitzo walked through, followed by Loona.

 

“I can do this one, I can do this!” Millie insisted, turning back toward the house.

 

“Millie!” Blitzo ordered.

 

Bliutzo glared and turned around. Moxxie put an arm around her. “We’ll do it next time!” said Moxxie. “It’s just not worth it.”

 

Millie elbowed him away. “Don’t start, Moxxie! Just because you aren’t demon enough to do this job doesn’t mean…”

 

She paused when she noticed his hurt face. “I’m sorry.”

 

“Sweetie,” said Moxxie. “I know it’s Sinsmas and it’s in the spirit of Wrath, but are you okay?”

 

“I’m fine, I don’t…”

 

They held hands and pressed their heads close.

 

“…know what’s gotten into me today.”

 

Moxxie kissed her on the forehead. “It’s okay.” He hugged her. “I’m here for you.”

 

Millie smiled in thanks.

 

They walked through the portal, and it closed.

 

“Wow!” Blitzo breathed. “I never wanna go anywhere cold again.”

 

Blitzo looked around. “Uhh, Stolas?”

 

“He’s gone!” spat Karen. “And he left this terribly sinful erotic novel behind. Can you believe this trash? Didn’t make me wet at all!” She folded her arms.

 

Blitzo glared.

 

Karen then screamed as she was tossed out the window by Blitzo. Blitzo smirked as he waved at her with the notebook.

 

Rolando: *chuckles* “Bye-bye, bitch!”

 

“Wow, I feel lighter!” Blitzo smiled.

 

 

0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

 

 

Octavia walked somberly down the hallway with her iPod in hand, snowflakes decorating the walls. She stepped onto some dried leaves. She glanced somberly at the remains of one of her dad’s plants.

 

Stella and Andrealphus laughed and lounged in their chairs during their spa treatment, surrounded by serving imps they were bossing around. Andrealphus had posters of himself hung in every corner of the room. One imp served a glass to Andrealphus, one held towels, and another held a rotary phone for Stella. Another imp was painting Stella’s toenails. Andrealphus had kiwis over his eyes and teal cream on his face. Stella relaxed in her pink bathrobe. The imps wore teal clothes to match Andrealphus’ color scheme.

 

Stella laughed. “He’s been trying to call her all fucking month and it’s hilarious!”

 

“Fra, fra, fra fra fra!” Stella chanted. They both laughed.

 

Rolando: “Pompous prissy pricks.”

 

Octavia sadly headed to her room and picked up a purple guitar with stars on it her dad had given her. She stared at the constellations glowing on her pink-lit ceiling. She went into the closet and spotted a box labeled “Stolas’ stuff.” Octavia sadly looked at an old drawing of her and her dad she made as a kid. Then she saw a “star observation” picture showing her as a little child smiling with her dad.

 

She sung her lament.

 

“Your boxes packed up on the bed

Your words are in my head

Tellin’ me that we’ll be okay

You’ll remember what you said

Or was it just another lie?”

 

Under rays of light, Octavia reached out to touch a starry Stolas’ hand, pressing hers against his. She sadly watched as the image blew away.

 

“This place that used to be your home

Would you call me on the phone?”

 

Octavia ran down the dark hallway, seeing photos of her as an owl baby with her stuffed gold star. She saw more photos of her parents and her as a child. In her imagination, she raced after him as he flew toward the light at the end of the hall.

 

“Will I hear your voice in the middle of the night

When I turn off the lights?”

 

Octavia imagined herself as a little girl, crying in the dark when the door closed behind her.

 

“Or are you just another ghost?

Ohhhh…”

 

Octavia gasped when she saw a starry indigo image of her dad embrace a smiling red starry image of Blitzo. She reached out to him, but he turned into a shadow with four red eyes and darted away. She raced after the Blitzo and Stolas shadows zooming through the hall.

 

“How could you lie to my face?

And did our time mean nothing to you?”

 

The Stolas and Blitzo shadows looked down at her against another family portrait before zooming away.

 

“Were you bluffing all along?

That you would be there to see

Yourself forgiven by me.”

 

The shadow Stolas held out his hand to Octavia who was on her knees. Angrily, she slapped it away and stood up.

 

“If you thought that I’d take it, you were wrong!

Oh, you were wrong!”

 

The halls, statues, and portraits cracked and crumbled in her mind, until she saw the vastness of outer space. An orange and yellow supernova exploded over her head. She walked under a red and black starry sky as fiery comets rained down nearby. The ground cracked beneath her feet. Several family pictures caught on fire and fluttered down. A globe of constellations and several astronomy books cracked in half.

 

“And when you’re gone, I will be okay

I will be okay, though I will never be the same

And I’ll know that I was right to doubt you!

I’ll grow without you and you’ll only know my name!”

 

A pink explosion boomed behind her. She gasped and caught a dark purple tear-shaped light in her hands. She saw a picture of her and her father in her hands which soon burned away. She dropped it until it vanished in a golden light. She stepped upward against the sky, her feet leaving glowing golden footprints behind.

 

“You always told me I’d be okay

Well, I’ll be okay, even though I’m not okay today.

But my tears won’t fall upon your shoulder.

I’ll grow older and you’ll only know my name.”

 

Her tears fell upon the drawing of her and her dad and a pink heart card with “DAD” written on it. She strummed her guitar.

 

Octavia spotted a box full of her dad’s happy pills from Belphegor. She walked out of her closet with a determined look, the door closing behind her.

 

 

Rolando: “That was…beautiful…I guess…”

 

The I.M.P. headquarters door opened. “Dad?”

 

It was Octavia.

 

“Octavia?” Blitzo asked, hiding the notebook behind him. “Wh-what are you doing here?”

 

She held up a bottle of pills. “I came to get these back to my dad, where the fuck is he?”

 

“I swear, he was just right here,” Blitzo mentioned to the space.

 

Octavia facepalmed. “Ugh, where would he go?”

 

Blitzo put his fingers to his chin in thought, then looked up with worry. “I think I know.”

 

 

0 0 0 0 0 0

 

Stolas walked by the Andrealpus ice sculptures to his ice-covered palace. Ice blocked his way in, sending him sliding on ice back to the ground.

 

“Ugh, fucking Ice Queen. How extra can you get?” Stolas rolled his eyes.

 

“Oh, this is just sad, Stolas,” said Andrealphus.

 

Rolando: “Time for the boss battle!”

 

“Let me see my daughter this instant!” Stolas demanded.

 

Andrealphus chuckled vindictively and gloated. “I imagine this is rather hard for you, Stolas. Aww, poor thing. All alone now without your lovely plants, your lovely stars, or your lovely little daughter. Everything you are now…”

 

Stolas punched Andrealphus in the face, tackled him, and hit him over and over. Black blood spurted from his nose and mouth. His eye was swollen.

 

Rolando: *breaks into laughter* “Oh my Satan!”

 

Stolas smashed Andrealphus’ face with an ice statue.

 

Rolando: “Ouch!”

 

Andrealphus pushed Stolas away with his ice powers. His teal crown blew back onto his head and Andrealphus rose up menacingly. His tail turned into icicles which bound Stolas by his wrists, waist and neck. He pulled Stolas to him and aimed sharp icicles toward his neck.

 

“Goetia be dammed, you are dead for that!”

 

“Do it…pussy!” Stolas taunted.

 

Rolando: “Oh, he’s fucked.”

 

“I will enjoy this.” Andrealphus grinned evilly.

 

“Hey, Elsa!” Blitzo yelled, throwing a snowball into Andrealphus’ face. “Get your icy hands off my bottom, bitch!” Loona, Mooxie, and Millie stood by Blitzo.

 

Rolando: “TMI, Blitzo, yuck!”

 

Andrealphus laughed. “The imp?” His eyes glowed teal and his face turned dark. “The imp is challenging me?”

 

Blitzo threw another snowball into his face.

 

“Scatter!” Blitzo called as the I.M.P. members ran in different directions.

 

Loona leaped up and tried to grab hold of Stolas. Andrealphus lifted him out of reach. Moxxie rolled on the ground and boasted Millie up with his hooves. She flew toward Andrealphus with her fist out. She was knocked back by a large strand of ice.

 

“Millie!” Moxxie cried as she began to fall.

 

“Loona! Launch me!” Blitzo called, raising a finger. Loona threw Blitzo into the air.

 

“Ahh, ha-ha!” Blitzo cried as he maneuvered around Andrealphus’ ice branches. He climbed up toward Stolas.

 

Andrealphus seethed and used his magic to thicken the ice under Blitzo’s feet and creep over Stolas. Stolas grew frightened as ice began creeping over his neck and body. Blitzo was almost there…he could barely reach Stolas’ face. Blitzo slipped and grabbed onto the ice as he slid backwards.

 

Andrealphus grabbed onto Blitzo’s collar.

 

“You little insects really think you can do anything to me? A Marquis of Hell? You are delusional!”

 

Loona’s clawed hand glowed blue as she began to transform and rush forward.

 

“Eeehh! Try again, bitch!” Blitzo mocked. “I’ve been called so much worse!”

 

Andrealphus let out a nasty sling of swears that shocked even Blitzo.

 

Rolando: “What the Hell was that?!”

 

“It’ll be rather amusing to squash you all.”

 

Loona howled as she leaped into the air, now in her demonic four-legged wolf form. She bit into Andrealphus’ face, sending Blitzo falling. Andrealphus clutched at his neck as a stream of black blood squirted out.

 

Blitzo smiled as Loona leaned under him to catch him. Loona skidded to a landing and Blitzo posed on her back.

 

To Blitzo’s horror, Stolas was encased in ice and the ice snapped shut like a mouth. Before them, an icy white dragon materialized. It had spiky ice skin and sharp teal horns and teal glowing eyes. Andrealphus and the dragon let out fierce roars, a blue snake tongue showing in the dragon’s mouth.

 

“Oh, fuck me,” Blitzo gulped as he and Loona retreated.

 

“Ugh, erugh, oh,” Millie strained as she lifted herself up. Conveniently, she had landed in the armory.

 

“Fuck yes!”

 

Moxxie climbed over the rubble and stared awe-struck at warrior Millie. Millie held a black and red sword, a blue and white rifle, a golden axe, another sword, a spear and a blue flag with Stolas’ emblem on it. A sash of bullets were on display down her chest.

 

 “Catch, baby!”

 

Moxxie caught the black sword and posed with it in the air.

 

“You are so fucking hot right now.”

 

Millie admired the gun. “I think I’m gonna give the firepower a try this time!”

 

“Mwah,” she kissed Moxxie.

 

“Millie! Big weapon, stat!” Blitzo urged.

 

Millie tossed him a lance. Blitzo rushed toward the dragon, riding on Loona. The dragon snapped at the ground, knocking Loona to the side.

 

Blitzo hung from the weapon like a pole as he flew up in the dragon’s jaws. Loona dodged the dragon’s clawed feet.

 

Blitzo hummed a heroic Valkyrie tune off key, kicking at one of the icy fangs.

 

“This is fun!” Millie cried with joy, aiming a large gold and white gun.

 

“Alright, sweetie, cover me!” called Moxxie as he rode on Loona. “The prince’s knight needs his sword!”

 

Millie shot a golden rocket in the dragon’s direction. Loona climbed up onto the dragon, cracking its icy hide with her claws.

 

Blitzo hung from the weapon, looking down at the dragon’s icy uvula and mouth.

 

“Eugh! Disgusting!”

 

“Blitz!” called Moxxie, hanging upside down and holding the black sword.

 

“Whoo! Impressive, Moxxie!” Blitzo called.

 

“Catch!”

 

Blitzo caught the sword.

 

“Yeah, Moxxie! High five…” Blitzo began, high-fiving Moxxie in a similar way Moxxie had done with Millie in the fish’s mouth.

 

“Oh whoa! Shit!” Blitzo yelled as he started to plummet. The dragon’s mouth closed and Andrealphus smirked evilly.

 

The dragon roared in triumph…

 

…until, in the style of Hercules and Millie, Blitzo sliced off the dragon’s neck from the inside, freeing himself and Stolas.

 

“You’ve just risked your life to save mine,” Stolas gasped.

 

“Well…so did you.” Blitzo smiled down at him. Stolas kissed Blitzo as they plummeted to the ground. Blitzo held Stolas as they landed in the snow. The dragon’s head and body crashed to the ground. Millie raced over and Moxxie and Loona popped up.

 

 

Andrealphus fumed. “How dare…you pathetic waste of lower class scum, attack ME! For this, I will see all your heads mounted!”

 

The icy headless dragon soon morphed into a three-headed ice hydra creature.

 

Loona, Moxxie and Millie flinched as the hydra towered over them. Blitzo defended Stolas, aiming the black sword in the air.

 

The dragon aimed its jaws at the duo…

 

But a burst of black and purple magic formed a magical shield around them.

 

Octavia!

 

 

 

 

“Stand down, girl!” Andrealphus demanded. “This doesn’t concern you.”

 

“ENOUGH! STOP IT!” Octavia strained as she lifted her hands, pulsing with her magic. “You will not. Hurt. My. Dad!”

 

With a mighty blast, Octavia’s magic disintegrated the hydra. It broke the icicles and sent Andrealphus backwards.

 

Andrealphus stalked forward. “You’re in no position to make demands of me!” He smirked. “Imagine what your mother would say.”

 

“Uh huh. Exactly,” Blitzo fired back. “Imagine what her mother would say when she finds out you got your ass handed to you by a gaggle of imps and a hellhound. I think that’s what folks call a BAD LOOK!”

 

“A very bad look,” Octavia folded her arms.

 

Andrealphus blustered, then waved his hand. “You aren’t worth my time anyway! But you WILL regret this.”

 

Andrealphus glared as he retreated back into the mansion.

 

“Via!” Stolas raced over to her as she walked back to the mansion and gave her a hug. “My brave, powerful girl! I am so proud of you!”

 

A crack formed in the ice that reflected Stolas and Octavia hugging.

 

Octavia pushed him away.

 

“You lied to me.”

 

“What?”

 

“You lied to me! You said you would never leave me! You promised!”

 

Stolas stepped back. “Via, I-I didn’t leave you I-I-I would never, it wasn’t my choice.”

 

“It was your choice! You chose HIM!” Octavia angrily pointed at Blitzo.

 

“Via, no! I didn’t I just-I had to. You don’t understand.”

 

Octavia spread out her hand, clenching a burst of magic. “I do understand! I understand that we were never enough for you! You never loved mother, and you don’t love me, you love him. And you needed THESE!” She held up the happy pills. “Was this my fault that you needed these?”

 

“No! No, never, Via!” He grabbed her hand. “Sweetie, please. You have always been the only good thing in my life!”

 

“So does that mean you just stayed miserable because of me?” She teared up. “Was I some fucking obligation? Is that why you didn’t even hesitate when you got a chance to leave?”

 

She shoved him away.

 

“I love you, Via. So, so much. Please, sweetie, let me explain.”

 

“I can’t. You lied to me once, and you’ll do it again.” Tears streamed down her face. “Have a good fucking life with him, Dad.”

 

“No, Via please! Please!”

 

Octavia blocked his way with ice. Stolas stared at his own reflection, crumbled to his knees and sobbed in loud anguish. Blitzo covered his shoulders with his jacket. Stolas sobbed as he clutched his happy pill bottle.

 

Rolando: “ALL THIS ANGUISH! STOP MAKING ME HUNGRY, FUCK!”

 

 

 

0 0 0 0 0 0

 

Loona opened the door to Blitzo’s apartment. “Whew! That was intense.” She stretched. “I’m gonna see if my friends can still come tonight. I need some drinks after what happened today.”

 

“Yeah, sure! Whatever you want, Loony. Mmmkay?” Blitzo called.

 

Stolas slumped over to the couch, staring into space. Blitzo covered Stolas with a blanket. Blitzo fried four black and red eggs in a frying pan, then tossed them into his mouth, where his pupils briefly widened.

 

Rolando: “The fuck did he just eat?”

 

Blitzo climbed over the couch and settled into Stolas’ lap.

 

“She hates me. My daughter hates me,” Stolas stated somberly.

 

Rolando: *evil laugh*

 

They shared a sad hug as Moxxie, Millie and Loona decorated the apartment.

 

Loona laughed with her three Hellhound friends.

 

Moxxie held out horse-shaped cookies on a plate to Stolas.

 

“You wanna try some of my home-baked Sinsmas cookies, your highness?” Moxxie asked. “Eeh? Eeeh?”

 

“I think I’ll pass, but thank you,” he somberly answered. “And you don’t need to address me like that.”

 

Moxxie glared as Blitzo snatched up the Blitzo horse cookie with his tongue and ate it. “Hey, where’s Mils?” he asked.

 

 

 

Millie ran the faucet in the bathroom, staring into the mirror with tired stressed eyes. She threw something into the trash and banged her fist on the counter. “Shit!”

 

Rolando: *evil voice* “The lowborn hick sure looks stressed.”

 

Millie stared at her cell phone as she walked out of the bathroom. Moxxie held a Mammonopoli board game.

 

“Oh, hey sweetie!” Moxxie smiled. “We’re about to start board games!”

 

“I’ll be right there, baby! Calling the fam for Sins first!”

 

Millie headed frantically into the decorated hallway, tapping on her screen.

 

“Hay!” drawled her transgender sister Sallie May in greeting.

 

Rolando: “Oh look. Another farm hick.”

 

“Hey Sal. You alone?” Millie asked.

 

“Uhhhmmmm…” Sallie stood up and spotted her family watching TV. She scurried sideways out of the living room and headed onto the front porch.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Okay,” Millie breathed. “Good.” She choked, tears in her eyes. She whispered, “I just need someone to talk to about something.”

 

“What’s going on?” Sallie May asked.

 

Millie held up…a positive pregnancy test.

 

Rolando: *spits out drink and coughs* “WHAT?! THE HICK’S PREGNANT?!” *breathes* “Well, that is rather unexpected.”

 

“I don’t know what to do!” Millie cried, sliding to the floor. Having been an assassin all her life, she wasn’t sure how raising a baby would impact her current job and feelings.

 

Rolando: “This certainly changes everything. Will she get an abortion? Will the baby put I.M.P. in jeopardy? Will the baby grow up and rise against Satan? Oh, the drama, oh the endless potentials!”

 

“Okay, Okay!” Loona called. “So did you see fucking Vikki’s post the other day? Fucking Vikki?” Loona held out her phone to her friends.

 

“I swear,” said her female hellhound friend Gigi. “If she posts one more humble brag about that ugly ass car, I’m gonna commit.”

 

“Cha, for real,” added Russ, her other friend.

 

Millie raced over and hugged Moxxie.

 

“Oh, hey sweetie, how’d the call go?” asked Moxxie.

 

“It was nice!” Millie glanced to the side. She looked sad. “You know I love you?”

 

They held hands.

 

“Love you, too!” smiled Moxxie, putting a hand by her chin.

 

“Okay!” Loona called. “Time for the board games! WITH DRINKS!!!”

 

Her friends cheered as she handed out bottles with honeycomb designs on the front. The label on the pack read “Glut-Honey Limited Sinsmas Edition, carbonated Beelzejuice with natural flavors: harder than ethanol.”

 

“Ha, ha, ha! Merry fucking Sinsmas, am I right?!” Loona laughed. “Vikki’s such a bitch!”

 

“No, I didn’t invite her!” Loona added. “She brings the whole party down!”

 

“You know, you guys go on without me, ‘kay?” Blitzo said, hurrying after Stolas to the fire escape. “I’ll-I’m-need a moment.”

 

 

“You mind if I steal?” Blitzo asked, noticing his cigarette.

 

“Oh, when have you ever asked?” Stolas replied.

 

They leaned against the fire escape balcony, smoking and staring at the red night sky and the Sinsmas neon lights and decorations.

 

“Today was a lot, wasn’t it?” Blitzo asked. “I-I know you can’t see your kid. And I know you did so fucking much just to save my life…”

 

“It’s okay,” Stolas said. “Saving you was the right thing to do.”

 

Rolando: “Nope!”

 

“And you have risked your life for mine in return.” Stolas blew out cigarette smoke. “You don’t need to feel any guilt for my situation, it was my choice. It was all my choice. I caused all of this.”

 

Blitzo put a comforting hand on Stolas’ shoulder.

 

“Well, she’ll understand eventually.”

 

Rolando: “Nope!”

 

“You just gotta give her time,” Blitzo said.

 

“Blitz…” Stolas sighed. “She’s gone. For one hundred years, she’s gone.”

 

Rolando: “Yes, yes, give into your despair, Stolas.”

 

“And after all that time, she’ll never forgive me. I’ll be a stranger to her.”

 

Blitzo added, “You know my twin sister…she hates me too, for something that I did.”

 

Rolando: “How does it feel, Blitzo, knowing you’ll never see Barbie Wire again?! Heh? Heh?”

 

“And I miss her every day. We were so fucking close you know, we…it’s a shitty feeling. But…you just gotta keep trying.”

 

“Yes. Of course.” Stolas breathed out more smoke.

 

 

“No ‘O’! Get your ass in here!” called Russ, one of Loona’s friends, peering out the sliding door. “We’re starting the games!”

 

Loona perched her arms on his head. “Yeah, I need you to show up Russ!”

 

“Hey, I’ll be back in just a sec, ‘kay?” Blitzo called to them.

 

“Sounds like, uh…they want me back in there…” Blitzo chuckled.

 

“Go enjoy your Sinsmas, Blitz,” Stolas said sadly. “I’m fine. You don’t have to stay here with me.”

 

Blitzo smiled and climbed up onto the railing.

 

“What are you doing?” Stolas asked.

 

Rolando: “JUMP LITTLE ONE, JUMP!”

 

“Well, I can’t fucking dance with you without…come here…getting inventive.”

 

They danced and spun around.

 

Rolando: *groans* “Oh come on!”

 

 “Hah. I imagine we look ridiculous right now,” Stolas mentioned.

 

Blitzo scoffed. “Yeah, like that’s anything new. I mean, look at me, I’m like four feet tall and you? You’re like the size of one of those really very tall, tall horses.”

 

“Never really seemed to be an issue,” Stolas said with a chuckle. “I guess you were just…creative.”

 

“Only as creative as you were flexible,” said Blitzo.

 

Stolas laughed as he was lowered down in a dance, with Blitzo over him, kicking up his tall leg. A sparkling full moon shone in the sky.

 

They looked at each other in genuine friendship…both equals at last. They embraced in a warm hug, both of them hopeful of what would come next. Stolas stared at the moon, uncertain, then closed his eyes, thankful to have his friend and partner with him.

 

Rolando: *breathes heavily* “Whoa-ho-ho-ho shit! That was one titilator of an episode! I did not expect to get so emotional with this one. Well, that was the last one…”

 

“Wait, don’t go anywhere mortal! I almost forgot, I have a special Sinsmas song for you. Ready to hear it?”

 

 

 

“I don’t want a lot for Sinsmas

There’s just one thing I need

I don’t care much for humans

But I would like their fears to feed

I just want them for my own

Laughing as they shriek and moan

Make my wish come true

All I want for Sinsmas is you

 

I don’t want a lot for Sinsmas

There’s just one thing I need

I don’t care much for humans

But I would like their fears to feed

I don’t need to fight demons and cause strife

I just need negativity and a chance to come back to life

 

I just want them for my own

Laughing as they shriek and moan

Make my wish come true

All I want for Sinsmas is you

 

I won’t ask for much this Sinsmas

I won’t even wish for fame

I’m just gonna keep on waiting ‘til I can shame Blitzo’s name

Fate, won’t you give me the revenge I need?

Won’t you bring that Blitzo dead to me?

 

‘Cause I want you here tonight

Trembling and sobbing in fright

What more can I do?

Oh yeah, all I want for Sinsmas is you

You, little one

 

Oh, I won’t ask for much this Sinsmas

This is all I’m asking for

I just wanna see crying mortals

Chained up right outside my door!

 

I just want them for my own

Laughing as they shriek and moan

Make my wish come true

Oh yeah, all I want for Sinsmas is you

Yooou, little one

 

All I want for Sinsmas is you, little one

All I want for Sinsmas is you, little one

All I want for Sinsmas is you, little one

All I want for Sinsmas is you, little one”

 

 

Rolando: “Any last words before I feast on your fears?”

 

Rolando: “Wait…you want me to react to…WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO START AT THE BEGINNING?! SEASONS 1, 2, 3, AND 4, WITHOUT ME IN THEM! NO, NO…!”

 

Rolando: *deep breaths* “Look, it’s been a crazy night and I’ve been incredibly lonely for who knows how long. Tell you what, I’ll react to the episodes if you want, and I won’t even feast on your fears. How does that sound? Since you can’t bring me back to life, I do want one little favor…”

 

…

 

“Yes, you heard me. I want my own show and my own episodes since ‘Helluva Boss’ thinks it’s dandy to make me a one-show Halloween cameo! You say it’ll never happen? Well make it happen! Unless you want me to dig inside your mind when you come back?”

 

Rolando: “You think I can’t do it? Try me…I’ll see you again real soon…”