Monday, November 6, 2023

Helluva Boss: Mammon's Magnificent Musical

 


Part One: The Prelude

“Alright, folks! Give it up for the king of all things greeeen!”

 

A cheering demon crowd had gathered for a spectacular concert in the Greed Ring. Green-colored spotlights hovered over the heads of the crowd while strings of round green lights arched up into the sky. Large glowing spiderwebs of magenta and neon green were spread out across the stadium and over circus tents and flags. The round stage was made of old moss-covered ship parts that jutted out haphazardly in every direction above it. Pink rectangular speakers stood on either side and Mammon’s sigil glowed magenta upon the curtains. A tattered flag of Mammon’s smiling jester face waved from the very top of the stage. Green flames sprang up in a circle around the outside of the stadium as the crowd grew excited.

 

A female imp with short black hair did a “horns/rocker” gesture with her hand next to another demon wearing a green and black jester hat. A pink succubus wore a neon green bra, while another imp wore green glasses, a green shirt and two glowing bracelets on her arm. A male imp with white hair and a nose-ring waved his fist in excitement.

 

The announcer boomed, “Hell’s number one clown! The money-maker himself!”

A screen popped out from under the stage floor and “MAMMON” appeared in bold green letters with white dots that lit up, spun, and dinged like a casino sign.

 

“The sin you all looove most: MAMMON KING OF GREEEED!”

 

Among the crowd of demons dressed in dollar-sign shirts and Mammon hats, was the teenage duo of Blitzo and Fizzarolli. The two imps had gone to the concert as friends together before the horrific future circus accident. Teenage Blitzo had braces on his yellowed fangs, a black spiked collar on his neck, green-yellow pants, black boots, and a black tank-top with “Mammon” in green-yellow letters. Teenage Fizzarolli, with red face and large stripped horns intact had a torn short green-yellow shirt with a black “M” and a dollar sign on it, along with green-yellow bracelets, dark pants and green-yellow boots with black puff balls on them. He had neon green eye make-up over his red-yellow eyes.

 

Four green firework flames shot out into the air from the stage. In a bang of green lightning and smoke, the towering jester appeared in showers of confetti.

 

“Heya, implings!” he greeted. He wore large high black boots, a layered white jester outfit and in the center of his chest was a gold button with a dollar sign on it. He had four slender arms, one of which held a yellow-green electric guitar with a gold star on the end and a gold jester crown shape on the head of it. Green and black striped leggings covered his legs and a white and black large jester hat with a black dollar sign on it was perched on top of his head. Yellow bells hung from his hat. Sunglasses were over his eyes. He slid down to the ground in a pose, holding the guitar in three of his hands. Two hands were white and two were black.

 

“How’re your little (*clown HONK sound*) doing tonight?! I hope you’re ready for the best fucking show you will ever see in your shit lives!”

 

Mammon peered close with a sharp-toothed grin as more flames shot into the air. His tongue was long and purple with yellow stripes.

 

Blitzo, Fizzarolli and the crowd jumped up and down, chanting “Mammon! Mammon! Mammon!” Blitzo did “rocker” gestures with his hands.

 

“Right,” Mammon continued. “I got tons of really fuckin’ cool shit for you ‘ere tonight, but first…”

 

He twirled his guitar in one hand and slammed it upright on the stage. Mammon’s sigil glowed neon green behind him.

 

“How many of you worthless bitches wanna be big clowns like me someday?”

 

“I do, I do!” yelled Fizzarolli.

 

“Me, me, me, me, me!” yelled Blitzo. The teens jumped up and down.

 

“Well, I’m happy to announce that I will be starting up a new, yearly clown pageant!”

 

A screen above him read “MAMMON’S SUPER RAD AS FUCKING SHIT CLOWN PAGEANT!” “Fucking” was in red, “rad” and “shit’ were teal blue, and the other words were green.

 

“YEEAAHH!” the crowd cheered as the green fireworks shot from the stage again. Dollar bills rained into the crowd.

 

“You know like one ‘a them fucked up beauty contests, but for clowns, so it’s BETTER!”

 

“IT’S BETTER!” The sign flashed the words as pointed arrows pointed at the sign. More green fireworks, raining money, and hollers from the crowd.

 

“Just for all you aspiring clown kids out there!” He picked up a small boy imp (a younger Wally Wackford) with thick round glasses and overalls. “A new chance to work with me, Mammon!” Mammon pulled the kid to his face in a hug, the boy smiled, eyes wide.

 

Blitzo flinched. Fizzarolli stared at Mammon with wonder-filled eyes and an agape expression.

 

“And to be the new face of my clownish brand!” Mammon continued. Wally Wackford yelled as Mammon shot him back into the crowd like a rubber-band.

 

“I can’t wait to see all the new talent I can exploit…um…fuck.” Mammon stuttered, almost revealing his greedy intentions. “Wait I mean…enjoy!” He laughed nervously. “Uh, watching me grow my empire!” He spread out his arms before putting his hands on his hips.

 

“Also, if you’re a chick, maybe give up on your dreams now. ‘Cause I’m not gonna lie: women just ain’t funny.”

 

Comically, the show’s producer, writer, and director Vivienne Medrano’s name appeared briefly on the screen.

 

“ANYWAY! My plan is to find the new face of my brand! YEAH! So, they gotta bring the good shit! The winner will get to be like the son I never had! And I’ll be like the stepdad that will love you when it’s convenient!”

 

Blitzo was disturbingly reminded of his own manipulative father, Cash Buckzo, who loved money and Fizzarolli more than him.

 

“Wow!” admired Fizzarolli, Blitzo giving him a look.

 

Mammon continued. “You might be a lunchbox, an action figure, Saturday morning cartoon. Hell, I might even make a sex robot of ya! I don’t know! I mean, if it’ll make money, sure. But it’s not weird.” He glanced around nervously.

 

He then pointed to a short white-haired male imp wearing glasses, and a yellow-green Mammon hoodie, “You’re weird, you sick fuck!” Next to the imp was a female wearing a bra with dollar signs on them and a green streak in her black hair.

 

“And if you say it’s exploitation, fuck you!” Mammon stuck his nose in the air. “It’s not exploitation! If you think that then you’re a dickhead!”

 

Crickets chirped as the crown went awkwardly silent.

 

“Anyway, CLOWNS!” roared Mammon as the crowd erupted into cheers again.

 

“ALRIGHT, LET’S GO, YEEEAAAHH!” One of the imps had a ring on his horn.

 

The cheers turned to panicked screams as an army of clowns pounced onto the crowd.

 

0 0 0

 

In the dark green Greed sky, a glowing neon green coin spun slowly like a moon. It had an “M” and a dollar sign on it. Blitzo and Fizzarolli walked home after the concert, old warehouse buildings around them. Overhead were round streetlights shining red still spotlights.

 

“Alright, I’m gonna say it,” Blitzo began with a chuckle. “That was too many clowns.”

 

“I have to win that pageant someday,” Fizzarolli exclaimed. “Can you imagine how amazing it would be to get to work with him?!”

 

Blitzo glanced at his friend. “What’s the point? Isn’t being the star of our imp circus enough? Plenty of people already know who you are, Fizz. You don’t need to go work for Mammon like some creepy mascot.”

 

“It’s not about that!” Fizzarolli said. “It’s getting to work with my idol. I just love that he’s giving someone new the chance to be in the spotlight! He’s an inspiration!” He stared dreamily at the sky; hands clasped together.

 

“Well, he’s…definitely something alright,” Blitzo mentioned as they walked under a red streetlight. “I mean I dunno, was it worth all our savings just to have him put on an over-hyped commercial, and then bitch about taxes, and then assault us with clowns, vomit, and pass out on stage?”

 

Fizzarolli laughed. “So worth it!”

 

Behind a streetlight post, a horned figure with glasses spied on the imp duo. The streetlight flickered ominously as the shadow darted off.

 

Fizzarolli sighed. “Blitzo, do you think I could win if I worked really hard?”

 

“I think…” Blitzo began and smiled. “I think if anyone’s gonna be the new clown face on everything…”

 

He rubbed Fizzarolli’s face affectionally with his fist and laughed. “…it’ll be you, Fizz.” Fizzarolli smiled.

 

“Holy shit, you’re Fizzarolli!” cried a voice in front of them. Blitzo and Fizzarolli stopped short with surprised expressions. “Oh MAN! Your stuff is great!”

 

A red streetlight shone on a tall lanky imp wearing a green shirt, black pants, and square glasses. He had white hair and a beard stubble. His name was Arick “Burnie” Burnz a.k.a. “Creepzo”.

 

Fizzarolli took a step back. He laughed nervously with a wave. “Oh h-hey there. Thank you, I appreciate that.”

 

Blitzo and Fizzarolli began to walk away, but the avid fan rushed forward to block their path.

 

“Whoa…oh…okay…” Fizzarolli breathed, hands up.

 

“After seeing your shows, I wanted to get into clown performing, too!” Creepzo exclaimed. “I’m really good!”

 

Fizzarolli chuckled awkwardly and walked toward him. Blitzo glared, arms folded.

 

“Hey, aren’t you that creep who’s always trying to sniff around our dressing rooms?” Blitzo asked in suspicion.

 

Creepzo grabbed Fizzarolli’s wrist, hard. “I have the best idea for a duo performance between us, that should spice up your act.” He pulled Fizzarolli to his chest, showing a sharp-toothed yellow grin. “Picture this: we start it like a romantic ballroom dance or a…”

 

“Dude, weird fuckin’ pitch! Fuck off!” Blitzo yelled.

 

Creepzo gripped Fizzarolli’s wrist harder. “I was talking to the clown, asshole!” He spun Fizzarolli around in a twisted dance. “I’m sorry Fizzie, I’m not normally so aggressive, I promise. I’ve just waited my whole life for an opportunity like this!” Fizzarolli froze in fear, his face reflected in Creepzo’s glasses. He continued. “With your fame, and my raw undiscovered talent, I know we can…”

 

“Hey shit-dick, beat it now, or I’ll make ya swallow your fangs!” Blitzo yelled, raising a finger and fist at Creepzo and walking forward.

 

Creepzo then turned to gaslighting. “Fizz! You don’t want me to leave, right? Tell him you don’t want me to go!”

 

Fizzarolli’s eyes darted around. “I-um…” Gathering courage, he pulled his wrist from Creepzo’s grip. “We have to go now! Thanks, though!” Blitzo gave Creepzo a shove as he followed Fizzarolli.

 

Creepzo dramatically crouched under the red streetlight. “Eugh! Fizz! FIZZAROLLI!” He spread out his arms.

 

Fizzarolli briefly looked back, before walking with Blitzo.

 

“Fine! Fuck you!” Creepzo spat. “You think you’re better than me, you elitist prick? Your act’s fucking trash anyways!”

 

“Cheeeese and hot sauce, Fizz,” Blitzo interrupted. “Your fans are something else.”

 

“What if my acts are trash? What if I’m never good enough?” Tears formed in Fizzarolli’s eyes.

 

“Hey, hey, don’t let one asshole get to you, ‘kay?” Blitzo said. “You’re, you’re plenty good enough.”

 

“But I have to be perfect,” Fizzarolli said.

 

Blitzo groaned. “Do you?”

 

Fizzarolli walked assertively. “I’ll just have to keep practicing, and someday, maybe, I’ll be good enough for Mammon.”

 

 

0 0 0

 

 

Mammon appeared on a TV commercial, wearing a green jester outfit with dollar sign tinsels on his hat. His eyes glowed yellow and his face appeared in confetti.

 

“It’s me, Mammon! And I’m here to announce the amazing new brand: Fizzie!”

 

Under a spotlight, Fizzarolli posed in his colorful jester outfit as confetti and dollar sign confetti sprinkled around him. There was a sound effect of children cheering.

 

“We got a Fizzie for every occasion!” announced Mammon. “We got fluffy toy Fizzie…”

 

The ad showed a Fizzarolli toy being stepped on.

 

“Fireman Fizzie…”

 

A Fizzarolli robot seductively posed lying down in a fireman suit, holding a hose that sprayed water onto the floor in an arc.

 

“Therapist Fizzie…”

 

The next clip showed an incubus in a business outfit sobbing on a green couch chair as a Fizzarolli robot wore glasses and took notes on a clipboard.

 

“Wait in line for you, Fizzie.”

 

Another Fizzarolli robot held two big grocery bags in his hands as he stepped in line, wearing heart sunglasses. The grocery bags read “Hellmart” on them with pentagram logos.

 

“Doctor Fizzie…beeps every time it senses cancer!”

 

A Fizzarolli robot beeped in a white doctor’s outfit as he scanned a concerned male imp in a hospital gown sitting on a table. The scanner turned red and read “LOL, RIP.”

 

“Fat Fizzie, skinny Fizzie…”

 

A Fizzarolli robot blew up like a balloon before going skinny.

 

“So many Fizzies!”

 

A pile of Fizzarolli toys grew as Mammon sat on top.

 

Mammon added. “And if you wanna fuck ‘em, YOU CAN!” “YOU CAN FUCK THEM!” appeared in green letters along with “Dishwasher safe.”

 

“We got Fizzies for the kids…”

 

A dog kid and a goat kid were pulling on a Fizzarolli toy’s robotic arms and hat as they fought over it.

 

“Fizzies for the teens…”

 

A teenage imp wearing glasses sat at a desk with computers and sat on another Fizzarolli robot. The Fizzarolli robot gave a thumbs up.

 

“…and Fizzies for you sick fucking degenerate adults!”

 

A succubus with hearts in her eyes, a fat female imp and a purple male demon wearing glasses kissed and hugged a smiling Fizzarolli robot. The robot made a gesture with its hands of a penis going into a vagina.

 

“We got ‘em all!” called Mammon as his smiling face appeared again with a purple background. The advertisement description appeared on the screen. “69.99! ORDER NOW!!! NO REFUNDS! IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT, IT’S YOUR FAULT!”

 

“All based on my new face, Fizzieeee!”

 

He pulled the real Fizzarolli close to him. Sweat appeared on Fizzarolli’s face and he grinned nervously.

 

“That’s me!” Fizzarolli pointed to himself and laughed uncomfortably.

 

They posed in front of a large “BUY” word which was green and decorated with yellow round theater lights. Mammon did rocker signs with his four hands as fireworks of pink, teal and purple appeared on the screen. “Buy yours now! Do it!” The ad ended with Mammon disappearing in a cloud of green smoke, confetti, and gold dollar signs.

 

“Oh fuck, Mammon is gonna notice that!” Fizzarolli cried in fear. He stared at himself in a large mirror and wore a yellow house robe with a pink scarf that had red hearts on it. A white heart inside a pink heart was on his forehead. A lighter-striped jester hat covered his horns. The mirror was decorated with round theater lights and a pink frame with hearts on them. The drawers also had pink heart designs and a large lavender heart was on the back of the long chair. Lipsticks, makeup, foundations, perfumes, and other products filled the desk in front of Fizzarolli. The vanity area also had a fancy heart-themed tent over it.

 

“Ozzie! Where did my foundation go?!” Fizzarolli panicked as he picked up various bottles. He was in Asmodeus’ palace in one of the elegant spacious rooms.

 

Asmodeus stared at Fizzarolli from behind, looking concerned. He put his hand on his hip. “This is the tenth year in a row you’ve done this stupid pageant, Froggie. And you win every time!” He folded his arms. “How come you’re always so dead set on this?”

 

Fizzarolli held his head with clenched hands. “I wanna make Mammon proud, okay? He’s…really passionate about the craft of clown. He expects perfection, so I-I gotta be perfect.”

 

Asmodeus walked over and chuckled. “Fizz, you ain’t perfect! Nobody is!” He put a hand on Fizzarolli’s shoulder and gave him a playful poke on his face. “How aboooout, you sit this one out and let someone else take the spotlight?” He spread out his arms. “You deserve a break. Or a vacation where you don’t have to…fend off creeps the entire time.”

 

Fizzarolli scoffed. “I had to fend off creeps before the robots. I just have thirstier ones, now. Besides, I…just have to do this!”

 

“Lemme rephrase,” said Asmodeus, annoyed. “I don’t like how many creeps you have now, thanks to Mammon. And I don’t like designing sex toys with your likeness for him! Pretty sure you feel the same.”

 

Fizzarolli did secretly feel that way. His eyes glanced around. At the same time, he didn’t want to drag Asmodeus into his problems.

 

He looked back at Asmodeus. “I just don’t think about it, a toy is a toy!”

 

He looked away. “Look, Ozz, I’m fine.” He looked back. “Working for Mammon is a big deal to me. He’s been my idol since I was five, I can’t just…not compete! I’d be letting him down! Th-the fans down!”

 

Asmodeus leaned forward, jabbing a finger. “Mammon can eat my ass! In a bad way. Fizz, I’ve known that guy since the start of Hell and He. Fucking. Sucks! Always has! He doesn’t even do clown shit anymore.”

 

Fizzarolli glanced downward. Could Asmodeus be right?

 

Asmodeus looked at Fizzarolli and sighed…some teal-blue flames came out of his mouth and vanished. He held a purple striped foundation bottle for Fizzarolli. “I just don’t want you doing all this for someone’s approval.” Asmodeus looked at his partner sadly and added, “Sometimes heroes let you down.”

 

Fizzarolli grinned and took the bottle. He opened it and puffed foundation onto his head, getting rid of a dark spot.

 

“I know, Ozz, but this i-is for me,” he stuttered. “I don’t wanna lose.”

 

Knowing that he wasn’t going to convince Fizzarolli to change his mind, Asmodeus gave him a last sad look. He put a finger to his chin and departed to another room…he suddenly had an idea.

 

Meanwhile, back at his apartment, Blitzo sat on his worn striped couch, eating cereal with a spoon from a bowl. A bag of chips – “plain ass flavor,” was on the floor, next to two bowls and more chips. Another red bag of chips read “spicy” on it, and a plate of Swiss cheese was on one of the couch arms. Blitzo chewed furiously as his cellphone rang. His cellphone cover read “Ride me” on it as he picked it up. “Yello?” he asked, mouth full.

 

Asmodeus peered at Fizzarolli from behind the curtains. “Is this…Fizz’s former bestie, then lifelong enemy, then recent hero, now newly rekindled sort of friend, Blitz?”

 

“Ehh, that is a weird way to put it, but eeyup that’s me.”

 

“This is Asmodeus.”

 

Blitzo’s eyes went wide. “Oh shit, the big Ozz himself! Heh, is there a reason you’re calling me on the weekend your sin-sinness? Sinfulness? Sin…royal big man?”

 

“You’ve lived rent free in Fizz’s head for years, so I can’t help but feel he values your take on things.”

 

Blitzo watched two cartoon ponies fall in love and kiss on TV. He was like a kid enjoying a Saturday morning cartoon. “Yeah, I was the one who usually had the stronger opinions. Yeah like, like one time, he tried convincing me that juggling was cool, but it’s only a little cool at best.”

 

Asmodeus continued, walking down the hall near blue walls with gear designs. “Look, he’s dead set on re-entering Greed’s yearly clown pageant.”

 

“Wow, big fucking surprise there,” Blitzo said sarcastically.

 

“I was hoping to have some…backup in convincing him that this thing is a waste of time.”

 

Blitzo happily ate his Swiss cheese after pouring hot sauce on it. He swallowed it whole, then asked. “What? Why? Doesn’t he always win?”

 

Asmodeus growled. “’Cause Mammon is a selfish, manipulative piece of shit! And Fizz…doesn’t listen to me when I try to tell him that.”

 

“Well, my special skills are killing things without giving fucks, and pointing out people’s flaaaws…” He beamed. “Alright, count me in!” Asmodeus smiled.

 

0 0 0

 

A huge crowd gathered near Mammon’s stadium, excited to see the stars of the show. The show was taking place in the same spot that Mammon’s concert had been held: around the parts of an old ship. Two large circus tents had black and red stripes and glowing yellow spider-web designs on them. The flags on top were part orang and part green. There were smaller tents nearby that sold popcorn, drinks, and other concessions. The main tent was decorated with strings of light, orange, and blue flags. It displayed a glowing sign that read “Mammon Theatre” in green letters, the gold border designed like Mammon’s jester logo with purple eyes. Mammon’s large green sigil glowed on the ground underneath the tent. A long red carpet led to the tent entrance.

 

Cameras flashed as a black limo decorated with blue flame designs on the side rolled up.

 

“Hup-hup-hey!” Fizzarolli did a roll out of the limo and posed with his arms in the air. Confetti rained down on the jester as Asmodeus appeared next to Fizzarolli from a teal ball of fire. Asmodeus waved, dressed in a purple suit with vertical red stripes. Fizzarolli wore his usual jester outfit, with a puffy white collar and a striped jester hat with red on one side and light blue on the other. The front was red and dress-shaped, decorated with yellow hearts on the bottom. Three black tassels hung from his neck with yellow bells on the ends. Large bells hung from the end of his hat. The heart on his forehead was teal, black, and red.

 

“Fuck!” Blitzo fell flat on his face on the carpet. Yet again, he was playing the role of a bodyguard in Hell.

 

“We love you, Fizz!” yelled the crowd. “Yeah, baby, yeah!” Fizzarolli smiled and waved as he made his way down.

 

Blitzo stood up and brushed himself off, wearing a tattered black suit and dark sunglasses. He ran to catch up. “Wow, I have not been to a crowd event in years.” He held out his pistol with teeth as part of the design.

 

Fizzarolli glared at him. “Can you remind me why you’re here, again?”

 

“I…uhh…invited him,” Asmodeus mentioned, as Blitzo pointed his gun and ran off. He leaned down and whispered, “To help you, with extra security. You know your fans. Since I can’t be with you, I felt he’d be the next best thing.”

 

He’d be the next best thing?” Fizzarolli flinched in disgust.

 

“Well, he kept you safe when I wasn’t able to, so I trust that.”

 

An angry Blitzo pressed his double-barrel weapon near the cheek of an imp boy fan who were cheering “Yes!” He and a girl imp were wearing green. Asmodeus laughed nervously.

 

Fizzarolli grumbled in suspicion, assuming Asmodeus’ and Blitzo’s behaviors were quite odd. “Mmm-hmm. L’il sus, babe.”

 

Asmodeus frowned before he and Blitzo accidentally bumped into each other. They briefly nodded before Asmodeus flew away to the sky in a teal comet of flames.

 

“You’re doing an awesome job, Fizzarolli!” cheered the crowd heartedly. Fizzarolli forced a wide grin as he waved. Blitzo appeared by his side.

 

“Come on, it’s just like old times,” Blitzo mentioned. “I’ll make sure no one gives you shit, today.”

 

“You mean besides you?” Fizzarolli retorted.

 

Before Blitzo could respond, the ground shook and the ruler of Greed himself appeared in a blast of green smoke. He was dressed in a large green jester outfit, with a jester hat with gold dollar signs dangling down. The outfit was black and green, with diamonds on it with gold trim. The black part on his jester hat looked like a crown. He carried a green and gold cane with a green dollar sign on it. He put two fingers on his cheeks and grinned. He also had black pointed boots and striped, green pants.

 

“Aaay, there he is!”

 

He gripped Fizzarolli’s chin with a thick white hand. “Now how’s my bright, shiny, brand baby doing?” He squeezed Fizzarolli’s cheeks and shook him hard. “Ready to reclaim your win another year? Yeah?” He towered over Fizzarolli, eyes glowing green.

 

Fizzarolli answered, his voice muffled, “You know it, Mammon, sir.”

 

“Goood, cause, you know…” he bent down to look at Fizzarolli’s face. “I saw your competition, and it’s pretty stiff, right? You are gonna have to try extra-hard like-fixin’ that posture. Not gonna lie, you’re looking a bit chungo, yeah?” He waved his arm near Fizzarolli’s belly. “Maybe lose a few so we don’t gotta make any more adjustments to the Fizzies. People like ‘em skinny as FUCK.”

 

Blitzo hid his weapon away, took off his sunglasses and seethed at Mammon talking down to his friend.

 

“Oh, right, sir. Of course! I’ll work on that,” Fizzarolli stuttered.

 

“What?!” Blitzo spat.

 

“Oh. And who’s this dumpster-diver ya got here with ya?” Mammon asked, glaring at Blitzo.

 

Blitzo stormed over to Mammon. “Hi, yes, nice to meet you, I’m the one who saw through your fake-ass bullshit from the day I had to spend all my savings on the shit covered dick show you called a performance. Thanks for that, by the way.”

 

Fizzarolli laughed nervously. “Haha-ha-ignore him, sir. He’s uh-he’s like this all the time. He thinks he’s funny.”

 

“Offended,” Blitzo glowered.

 

“Riight, yeah. You can shut you (HONK) ass mouth, boy,” Mammon shot at Blitzo. He turned to Fizzarolli and spread his arms. “I’ll see you on stage! And don’t forget to fucking smile, Fizzarolli.” He shook him hard, gripping his arms as Fizzarolli did a nervous salute.

 

“The smile is the face people like to seeeee from you!” He grinned and Fizzarolli forced a grin of his own. Mammon vanished in a cloud of green smoke and gold dollar signs.

 

“Wow, that guy sucks so hard,” Blitzo glared.

 

“Look, Blitz,” Fizzarolli barked. “I don’t know why Ozz brought you here, but can you at least not talk back to my boss?! I need this gig!”

 

“Why?” Blitzo asked. “Don’t you have the world’s best sugar daddy?”

 

Fizzarolli was incredibly lucky to have a partner like Asmodeus in his life. But now that he was back in Greed with the spotlight on him again, he could think of nothing else but winning the contest and pleasing Mammon…if only to avoid failure and abuse…

 

“I just need it, okay?!” Fizzarolli yelled, then sighed and turned away. He put his hand to his forehead then stood and took a deep breath. “Smile inside and out,” he told himself. He knew deep down that Blitzo had been right about his obsessive, damaging need to be perfect, but that didn’t matter now.

 

Fizzarolli waved and walked down the carpet as the crowd cheered, “We love you, Fizz!”

 

“Ready for another win, Fizz?” asked the crowd.

 

“Oh, pfft, well,” Fizzarolli began. “I don’t wanna assume, but as always, I have an act that’s without a doubt gonna…”

 

“Fucking lose!” called two female voices.

 

A tall slender lionfish-like woman walked over and flipped back her long black and green hair, her skin a tanish-green. She had long black leggings with green diamonds on one side and a green stripe on the other side. She had a neon green short skirt with jester tassels on her waist. Her gloves were neon green, and her black sleeves had green dots on one side. Her dark green crop top with an upside-down heart at the top, revealed her belly. Her hair was black with green spiky highlights on the top and green diamonds on the outside. Thin tan horns with black tips jutted straight up from her head. Around her glowing grey/blue eyes were black eyelashes decorated like the jester tassels and bells on her skirt.

 

The other twin woman posed beside the first, wearing matching black leggings with green diamonds and a green stripe. She wore a short dress, light green on the top with a dark green pointed design on the bottom. Her crop top and long sleeves were black and on the top was a small green puff ball. She had fingerless gloves on and a black collar around her neck. Her long hair in a ponytail was light green on the outside with a black stripe and black dots and dark green on the inside with spiky bangs. The light green hair at the top of her head resembled lionfish scales, as did her eyelashes of neon green fins with black trim around her glowing grey-blue eyes. Black crosses went through her eyes as part of the design.

 

The first twin was Glam and the second was Glitz, the two fish twin performers from the Envy Ring. They posed and with a gasp, the crowd cheered.

 

 

“Oooh, fun,” Fizzarolli began, unsure. “You gals gonna be competing as well? That’s really nice.”

 

“You can shut up now, you fugly imp,” mocked Glitz with a sharp-toothed grin.

 

“Yeah, see we didn’t come to chat, we came to win,” Glam added. They circled each other and posed again.

 

“Wow what attractive attitudes you got,” Fizzarolli sarcastically remarked, hands on his hips.

 

“Like we care what your opinion is Fizza…ah…” Glitz began, trying to come up with an insult.

 

“…rotty!” Glam laughed.

 

Glitz stomped her foot at her sister. “Shut up, I was thinking of one!”

 

“Should’ve been faster,” Glam remarked as the two twins stood back-to-back, arms folded.

 

“Whore!” Glitz spat.

 

“Slow-ass bitch!” Glam fired back.

 

“You know it’s pretty telling that you snatches can’t even keep your stupid mirror schtick together,” Blitzo deadpanned, standing by Fizzarolli. He put out his fingers in an “L” loser gesture. “It ain’t cute.” The twins sort of reminded Blitzo of the snotty suburban lady from Envy he had met in the Sloth Ring hospital.

 

“We don’t need to,” replied Glitz as the two women both turned to their sides and put out their hands at the same time.

 

“We put our energy towards our performance,” added Glam. They swirled around each other in seductive sways.

 

“And winning Mammon’s favor,” bragged Glitz.

 

Fizzarolli did a strained grin. “Oh well. I look forward to seeing what you do, and may the best clown w…”

“We plan to!” interrupted the twins who laughed maliciously. Glam flipped them the bird as Glitz laughed maliciously. The sisters strutted away between the imps.

 

“…win,” Fizzarolli somberly finished.

 

Blitzo growled, folding his arms with his sunglasses back on. “Aw man, I didn’t give a rat’s ass about this competition, but Christ on a stick, Fizz, pile drive those sluts!”

 

Fizzarolli grew more pressured and nervous as the circus music began. It was showtime!

 

 

 

 

0 0 0

 

Part Two: The Contest

 

The stage was located inside an old ship…the opening looked like a giant mouth with sharp teeth. Strings of lights and orange and blue flags were hung all around for decoration. A glowing green spider web held it all together.

 

“We’ve certainly got some quality up here tonight, folks,” called the announcer. Seven spotlights shone on Fizzarolli, the Glam Sisters, a succubus with a green clown wig and green overalls, a fat clown imp in white, a thin green clown with a white face, and a fat clown with orange hair.

 

The announcer called, “Will Mr. Ten Years Running come out on top? Or is it time for fresh meat?”

 

Like a giant spider eager to catch prey, Mammon lounged on his green glowing spider web, flanked by two female jester robots with glowing teal eyes. Their jester caps and outfits were black, green, and yellow, also decorated with dollar signs. One was fanning Mammon while the other held a bowl of chicken legs. Mammon ripped into a chicken leg in his hands and chewed with excitement. A green lollipop with horns, a hamburger, blue cotton candy, a cupcake, and a spilled bag of popcorn were stuck on his spider web.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A song described the exciting contest.

 

 

“Juggling, it’s objectively cool.

Our returning champ is nobody’s fool!”

 

Fizzarolli smiled as he rode a unicycle with a pink pentagram design on the wheel. He rapidly juggled five balls under the spotlight and the balls then bounced off his head. Mammon’s sigil cast a neon green light in the background.

 

“But what’s this?

The twins bring it up to the wire!

Also, they’re on fire!

Points for style!

(Points for style)”

 

Balancing on a high wire, Glitz and Glam posed on their own pentagram unicycle. Glam rode the unicycle and held up Glitz who posed upside down on her sister’s hands, while juggling balls with her feet. Glitz lowered the balls for Glam to balance on her knee. They both glowed with white-teal flames, a dazzling pyrotechnic effect. Glitz spread out her legs and then bent down to grin with Glam as they got points.

 

“The crowd goes wild!

(Crowd goes wild)”

 

The scoreboard showed Glitz and Glam at 123 points, Fizzarolli at 115 points, Kevin at 13 points and Frank at 3 points.

 

 

“It’s the pie gag and the twins want a taste.

But what’s this?

It’s Fizz in the face!”

 

The twins were about to throw white pies with cherries on top into their faces. They swayed their hips and grinned, holding hands. They wore identical dark green suits, Glitz with a right-side up heart and Glam with an upside-down heart on her suit. They wore bunny ears over their horns, Glitz’s were dark green with a little light green and Glam’s were light green with a little dark green. Fizzarolli grinned as he stepped between them, both pies comically hitting his face. The sisters fumed as Fizzarolli headed over to a purple chair with a rainbow heart on it.

 

“He takes the cake, and he eats it, too!

He’s hungry to win and he’s covered in goo!”

 

Fizzarolli wore a yellow top with two black hearts over the nipples, a small red heart, and an orange bowtie. More cream pies were thrown at Fizzarolli, covering him in cream from head to toe. Fizzarolli grinned and seductively posed as he kicked his leg in the air, cream pie hitting the sisters on their heads.

 

“That’s points for cream!

The crowd screams!”

 

The scores were now 375 for Fizzarolli, 327 for Glitz and Glam, 13 for Kevin and behind Kevin was Frank. Kevin had 101, Frank had 103 and Pierrot had 3.

 

Then started the third act.

 

“Ba-ba-ballons, he’s pumping them out.

From where I’m sittin’, you can hear the crowd.

(Ah-ah-ah-ah)”

 

Fizzarolli grinned as he held eight balloons in his hands. He made a giant balloon face reminiscent of Mammon. The white face had sharp teeth, red eyes, and a green flower-like mane. More balloons floated.

 

“Not give a shit, ‘cuz the twins are here!

They’re full of sin and they’re here to win!”

 

The twins made a large, two-layer crown made of gold-colored balloons. They both lifted it up and it landed on the Mammon balloon head. An ecstatic greedy Mammon laughed and pointed in approval.

 

Glitz and Glam and Fizzarolli were now tied at a demonic 666 points! Kevin had 404, Frank at 103 and Pierrot at 3.

 

 

“Holy moly!

Things are not looking good for Fizzarolli!”

 

The twins leered at Fizzarolli, who grit his teeth nervously. Sweat fell down his face.

 

Four green spotlights and two blue spotlights revealed Mammon who appeared from the air in green smoke, rainbow confetti, and yellow dollar bill signs made of electricity.

 

“And now you (HONK) we are down to our clownly finalists!” he yelled as he grabbed the microphone. He lifted the microphone stand in the air with a pose as green firework sparks ejected from the stage. “GRAND FINALE” glowed in bold yellow letters on an overhead screen. A nude pink succubus was sitting on the head of an imp, squeezing his face. Her breasts were painted with green dollar signs. She wore green striped clown caps over her horns with dollar sign bells on the ends. She held a sign that read “CHARGE ME, MAMMON! 6669-966966 – 69996.” Her eyes caught on green fire as she stared into the light and fell off the imp.

 

Mammon continued. “My very own pride and joy, the marketable son I never had, Fizzarolli!”

 

He lifted up Fizzarolli from his neck with his arm, patting his face with a hand. Fizzarolli forced a big grin and a small wave from up on the screen.

 

“And the surprisingly funny women act that made me reflect on my earlier statements…”

 

Fizzarolli rubbed his behind as Mammon rushed over to the sisters.

 

“…the Glam Sisters!” The two sisters posed, fingers pointing out in gun-like gestures and revealed evil grins toward Fizzarolli. Mammon roughly pulled Fizzarolli to the front of the stage by his arm. The twins held hands.

 

“Now we’re gonna have a quick meet and greet with our finalists!” Mammon announced before vanishing in smoke and dollar bill signs again.

 

 

 

0 0 0

 

Mammon made a “gimmie’ gesture with his black hand. “…so fork it over, kitties! You know it’s worth it!”

 

He laughed manically as he tossed bags of money into a bin with his logo on it. He kicked a bunch of fans into the room. There were glowing green spider webs in the corner and the ceiling had a design of glowing magenta diamond spider webs. Round strings of lights and flags decorated the room from above. Fans lined up to hand Mammon their bags of money to see the stars of the show. Mammon danced on his leg as he took two bags of money with two of his hands and tossed them in his bin. A white and gold treasure chest was also in the bin. An imp dressed as a clown bowed to Mammon and handed him a pile of dollar bills. He kicked the fans some more before glancing at his hand. He looked in disgust at a pile of dust, a paperclip, a coin, and a stick of gum. He glared at a small imp boy with one of his horns broken and wearing worn brown clothes and a worn magenta hat. He smiled with wide admiring eyes. Mammon snapped his fingers and a paper bag labeled “Poor sap” was placed on the boy’s head as he was taken away by a muscular hellhound with clown makeup on his face.

 

A brown dog demon wearing round glasses handed Mammon some money and walked inside.

 

The twins posed for the cameras, Glam lifting up Glitz. Glitz posed on her side on her sister’s hand, making a peace sign. They basked in the attention and spotlight.

 

Meanwhile, Fizzarolli was nervously sneaking around behind a cardboard sign of him. Cardboard Fizzarolli posed with a wink, holding a red duster with a seductive caption: “I clean EVERY nook and cranny!” Nearby were crates of Fizzarolli themed merchandise: a body pillow, “soop/soup” cans, an alarm clock, Industrial Grade, a baseball cap with horns, a Fizzaropoly Monopoly board game, a jack-in the box, soda, Piss in a Jar, Fizzarolli Funko-Pops and action figures, chips, Fizzi-O’s cereal, magazines, and hot-sauce.

 

Mammon tossed in a purple goat demon with bat wings and a candle on their head. He roughly pulled in a pink succubus with a black skirt, a yellow shirt, and a pink tail with a heart on the end.

 

Fizzarolli wandered over to his boss and peered from behind the cardboard cutout.

 

“Hey Mammon, uh, I may not be, uh…i-in the right headspace to interact with the fans right now.” Fizzarolli stuttered. “Is it okay if I maybe skip the whole thing?”

 


“Psh, of course not,” Mammon turned around. He tossed four bags of money into his bin.

 

“I just don’t think that I’m really…”

 

Mammon shoved Fizzarolli off to the side, putting a hand over the imp’s mouth.

 

“Aaaw, come on Fizzie, my boy.” He patted Fizzarolli’s head with two hands. He then lifted him up and gripped his arm, hard. “Don’t you wanna do this for your fans?” He shook Fizzarolli and turned him around.

 

“Listen to them! They’re dying to meet you!”

 

Hordes of imps, succubi, and demons raced toward the gate, wearing green Mammon shirts. A giant dog demon with hearts over its breasts roared in excitement behind the cheering eager fans.

 

Mammon lowered Fizzarolli. “Dying to see your little Fizzie face!” He jabbed him in the chest and pulled him close. “You gotta make a good impression, mate. The better the impression, the more they’ll want a piece of you they can take home and fuck!” He gripped Fizzarolli’s head, leaning in uncomfortably close. “Don’t you want that, Fizzie? To be fucked?!”

 

Fizzarolli stammered. “Uh, I mean…no, not really, actually.”

 

Mammon posed with his head up and did a dramatic frown. “Fizzie, I-I’m not gonna lie…”

 

He then gripped Fizzarolli’s face, sharp yellow teeth bared, “I want that! So come on, just do this one thing for me.”

 

“Okay, sir,” came Fizzarolli’s muffled voice after Mammon squeezed his face against his own.

 

Mammon let go and did rocker signs with his hands. “Aw, you’re a bloody legend, Fizzie!” He pulled hard on Fizzarolli’s arms and swung him around. “They’re gonna wanna fuck you, like you’re fucking my heart with joooy right now!” Fizzarolli could barely breathe, he was being crushed by Mammon’s chest and arms. Mammon turned Fizzarolli’s face again and stretched his lips. “Now get out there and make me proud, you stupid little (HONK).”

 

Mammon vanished in green smoke, causing Fizzarolli to cough.

 

“Wow, Fizz, you let him talk to you like that?”

 

A stunned Fizzarolli turned around to see Blitzo behind him. Blitzo was upside down attached to a wire, wearing sunglasses, and holding a rifle. “You got some secret kink I should know about of something?” He spun around in a slow circle with a tattered red cape.

 

Fizzarolli folded his arms and looked away. “It’s just how he is.”

 

“I mean shit, if he talked to me that way,” Blitzo began.

 

“Ugh, it’s fine,” Fizzarolli sighed in annoyance and stomped away.

 

Fizzarolli spread out his arms and smiled nervously at the large fan group.

 

“Heya folks, where ya from?”

 

 Fizzarolli flinched as a pink muscular succubus flashed her breasts at him. “Oh, Lust, love it there, obviously.”  An orange goat demon with bat wings and an orange candle on his head, smiled at Fizzarolli. Fizzarolli signed a card from a dark orange goat. “Wet-Dreamsville! Hah! Best pharmacies in Hell!” Fizzarolli signed a toy Fizzarolli from a brown dog boy with black and white striped floppy ears and red and white eyes.

 

A tan muscular dragon-demon wearing a yellow and black jester cap, grinned as Fizzarolli signed his chest.  “Ragesburg, Wrath, well.”

 

Fizzarolli went up to a fat, white-bearded cowboy imp. He spoke in a Southern accent, briefly putting a piece of straw in his mouth. “Nice to meet cha, partner.” The cowboy spit. Fizzarolli said, “Ha, ha, I don’t do accents! Fun!” He nervously ran off. More fans lined up, a gray goat with a candle on his head, a succubus with a purple bra, and a tan goat wearing a Mammon hoodie. He hugged the goat and the succubus. “Ah, nice to meet you, too!”

 

Fizzarolli went up to the front and spread out his arms with a bow. “Thank you so much for coming to the show!” Mammon’s green sigil glowed behind him.

 

“Fizz! Fizz! Fizz! Fizz!” chanted the crowd. “We love you, Fizz!”

 

Fizzarolli then gasped softly as he spotted a cute little imp boy in line. He had white hair, a pointed tail and wore a green Mammon shirt. He carried a pen and paper with him. His horns were broken, reminding Fizzarolli of his own broken horns and limbs. The boy did a small wave, then spoke with his hands in sign language.

 

“FIZZAROLLI! I’M A BIG FAN!”

 

No longer nervous and stressed, Fizzarolli felt his heart warm up.

 

“COME ON OVER HERE,” he replied in sign.

 

The boy smiled with excitement and raced over to Fizzarolli. With the pen, Fizzarolli signed the boy’s paper and handed it to him.

 

“I WANT TO BE A CLOWN JUST LIKE YOU,” signed the boy.

 

“YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT TO DO,” Fizzarolli smiled and signed back. He tenderly placed a hand on the boy’s back and called to the crowd, “I hope you’re excited for the biiiig finale!” The crowd applauded in response.

 

 

“Boo! Boo! Sellout piece of shit!” yelled a voice.

 

Fizzarolli glanced around nervously, before gently sending the boy on his way.

 

“Uh, wh-c-come again?” he stuttered in confusion.

 

“Ugh, your act is such fucking trash, always has been!”

 

To Fizzarolli’s horror, the narcissistic Creepzo was crawling up to seethe at Fizzarolli from the back of the crowd. He had his square glasses and wore a stained green shirt and black pants.

 

“Except now,” he pointed an accusing finger at Fizzarolli, “I have to see your smug face plastered on everything, everywhere! And you can all read all about it on my review blog: “fuck-Fizz-but-not-in-a-sexy-way.complainer.com.org.gov!”

 

He stumbled and fell forward.

 

Fizzarolli stepped back and chuckled nervously. “Heh, well anyway folks, heh.”

 

Creepzo clawed toward Fizzarolli on the ground, bent red fingers like sharp claws. “You’re not even a clown, anymore.” He stood up. “All you do is work at that overpriced, sleaze joint, and then every year, you come back here to put us though the same old tired routine.”

 

Blitzo seethed as he looked through his gun’s telescope piece…he spotted Fizzarolli fearfully stepping back from Creepzo, who inched toward Fizzarolli, fists clenched. “Is there a single original idea in that head?” Creepzo asked.

 

Fizzarolli laughed shakily as he backed up against the curtain. “I-uh-uh-uh…” Creepzo’s demonic shadow towered over Fizzarolli, with glowing red eyes. “You fucking suck, and so do your products. Your sex-bots can’t even get me off right, you know…”

 

Blitzo jumped in between the imps, aiming his rifle at Creepzo’s chin in warning.

 

“What? Still think you’re too good to even talk to me?” Creepzo spat. “Still gotta get this chump to stand in for you? You’re fucking pathetic.”

 

“To think what we could’ve been together if you hadn’t been too up your own ass to listen! Ugh!”

 

In Creepzo’s imagination, he and Fizzarolli jumped for joy on a grassy hill with purple flowers. The clouds were shaped like purple hearts. They held hands and gazed at each other romantically. In another fantasy, Fizzarolli was dressed in a dark purple slave suit, wearing a dog collar connected to a chain leash attached to Creepzo’s waists. He smiled with his tongue out and held a golden trophy with #1 on it to Creepzo, who was dressed like a king.

 

Blitzo aimed the barrel in Creepzo’s mouth. “Yeah, one more word out of you, twat stan, imma blow your head clean open in front of all these fucking kids.”

 

Fizzarolli hyperventilated, clearly sacred of Creepzo and his insults. He gripped the curtain and his fluffy white clown collar.

 

Creepzo laughed evilly in response to Fizzarolli’s fear. Blitzo jabbed his face with his rifle, sending him backwards and stumbling.

 

“You’re not done with me, Fizzarolli,” swore the envious, vengeful Creepzo, rubbing his swollen cheek and running off.

 

Fizzarolli collapsed to the side and Blitzo caught him.

 

“Hey, hey, woah, woah, you good?”

 

Fizzarolli let out a startled scream as Mammon appeared from smoke again behind them. He swatted Blitzo aside. “Yeah, mate? You alright, Fizz?”

 

Fizzarolli looked fearfully into Mammon’s glowing eyes. His eyes narrowed and his mouth sneered. As if to say, “You better not mess things up.”

 

Fizzarolli smiled forcefully. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I’m-I’m fine, yeah, heh.”

 

Mammon’s eyes narrowed before he declared, “Tell you what, I’ll let the hotties go on before ya, give ya some time to get your shit together.” In a frightening moment, Mammon gripped Fizzarolli’s face and spoke in a low voice. “Get your shit together, Fizzie. You’re a bloody legend.” He grinned evilly, his sharp teeth giant as six small glowing yellow eyes appeared on his forehead.

 

He then stood up and spoke in his regular voice. “You’re a bloody legend, ya bitch!” He spun Fizzarolli around and he twirled toward the stage side entrance. Four green round lights decorated the open curtains.

 

“Oh shit, that guy got to you, didn’t he?” Blitzo asked. “You know you don’t have to…”

 

Fizzarolli was too stressed and scared to deal with Blitzo’s annoying attempts to stop him.

 

“I do, Blitz, I do.”

 

“Fucking, Hell, Fizz, this is stupid. That clown shit is not this important.”

 

“This job is!” Fizzarolli yelled in his face. “Without it, I’ll lose…”

 

“Everything!” the twin sisters mocked from atop the stairs. They laughed evilly and backed away toward the stage, glowing eyes flashing before vanishing.

 

“Seriously, that guy is a fucking dick,” said Blitzo bluntly, as Fizzarolli somberly climbed the stairs. “And he’s using you for everything cause you’re likeable, and he’s a fucking trash fire.”

 

“No, he’s not!” Fizzarolli yelled, not fully convinced. “He’s just trying to make me good enough.”

 

“Good enough for what?!” Blitzo deadpanned, holding his rifle, growing more concerned about his friend’s wellbeing.

 

 0 0 0

 

The audience waited eagerly for the next performance. A white-faced woman demon with horns and blue hair that looked like octopus tentacles, smiled next to a green and white dragon-like demon wearing a yellow shirt with a bone on it. Two little dog-Hellhound demons ate popcorn together. A blue fish demon male held a camera. A large brown dog wearing a baseball cap held a toy Fizzarolli in his mouth, sitting next to a pink dragon lady wearing a black bra. A smug male imp with a broken horn sat as his imp girlfriend kissed him on the cheek. Another imp held a green sign with a dollar symbol, a large white muscular demon with heart tattoos held a hamburger and a Mammon flag and an imp wearing a tank top sat next to him. A yellow goat demon talked with a pink succubus wearing a green dress with dollar signs on it. Next to an incubus with white braided hair was a gray-skinned demon with thick hair, gold earrings, and an orange bandana. She wore an upside-down cross necklace and was looking at her cell phone with a green seashell on it.

 

The lights dimmed and the audience grew excited.

 

Ta, ta-da-da, da, ta-da-da, ta-da. Electronic pop music played as the stage was bathed in teal, blue, and green light. Water fell in a column to the center of the stage were a figure of a woman posed. She swayed her hips in a dance and waved her long hair around. With her hair and her arms, the woman parted the water, making it spill onto the stage floor. Two spotlights shone on Glam. In the lights, her hair glowed black on top, dark blue in the middle and sea green on the end of her ponytail. Her leggings with diamonds on them looked black on one side and dark blue on the other. Her jester skirt was indigo, and her upside-down heart crop top was black. Her gloves appeared indigo, and the top bang of her hair had glowing dots and stripes of black and blue.

 

She walked through the puddles of water, swaying her hips and swatting back her hair. She sang with the alluring voice of a siren popstar, her eyes glowing.

 

“Get ready for the new look.

New rhythm and a new hook”

 

In a puddle reflection, she swayed seductively, moving her butt, and putting a finger to her lip.

 

“Not here to cuddle.

More like leave you in a puddle.

Little double trouble got ya boy shook.”

 

Glam splashed the water and moved her arms in sync with Glitz, who revealed herself beside Glam in their synchronized dance. They held hands up in the air and posed together. Glitz also appeared green, blue, indigo, and black in the light, her bangs glowing with black and teal stripes, glowing teal fin eyelashes, glowing dots on her long indigo hair and flowing diamonds on her outfit.

 

Glitz leaped into the air and called, “Ha ha! Here’s the stitch!”

 

The lighting changed to a bold orange, purple, magenta and pink as the song shifted to a faster pace. Glitz’s hair and outfit tuned red, pink, orange, and yellow. Lines of light spread out as Glitz grinned, beginning her rap.

 

“Feed sin with ya taxes

 

Greedy greed wins where the cash is.”

 

She made money gestures with her fingers.

 

“Wanna sell my funny, slutty body to the masses!”

 

The sisters moved their butts against each other and Glam leaned down in a seductive pose, her long tongue out and finger to her mouth. They swayed around each other in a circle and posed as the crowd cheered. Water ejected out from the stage, shooting toward the sky.

 

Glitz and Glam then sang together, synchronizing their dances and twirling their hair.

 

“Feelin’ lonely on a Saturday night

Well money can’t buy happiness

But it can rent you paradise.”

 

The lighting changed again, this time to a deep purple. Glitz and Glam turned neon teal, deep blue and purple, slowly lifting into the air, trailing water from their feet. They slowly twirled around each other gracefully as they sang.

 

“Give in to temptation.

Take your time, I’ll be patient.

Be my little piggy let me

Scratch your dirty itch.”

 

“I’m a klown, bitch!” They both sprouted large succubus-like bat wings that glowed teal and white. They flew over the adoring crowd who were transfixed by their alluring song and beauty.

 

“Fix up your frown, bitch!” They flew and put their fingers to their mouths, purple spider webs glowing in the background. Glitz and Glam then spun around in circles Yin-Yang style at the center of the purple glowing spider web. “Gimmie the crown, bitch!” They posed with their wings out again as the crowd danced and swayed to the pink moving lights and the gushing water. They sneered at Fizzarolli.

 

“You hear that sound?

You’re goin’ down!”

 

Fizzarolli ran away in tears from his mocking competitors, Blitzo glancing back at his friend in concern.

 

 “Cause I’m a klown, bitch!”

 

Glam added: “Special occasions, splurge on the urge to go make a mistake.”

 

Glitz added: “Give you a birthday reward if you can afford all this cake.”

 

Glam added: “Dollar by dollar you got me romance and lovin’ is fake.”

 

Glitz added: “Max out your expense account, you’re paying for a…”

 

They both sang: “…klown, bitch!”

 

Glitz harmonized (“I’m a klown, bitch, imma klown bitch, yeah!)

 

“Fix up your frown, bitch!”

 

Glitz: (“Fix up your frown, bitch! Fix ya frown, bitch!”)

 

“Gimmie the crown, bitch!”

 

(“Gimmie the crown, bitch! Gimmie that!”)

 

“You hear that sound

You’re goin’ down

(Yeah)

‘Cause I’m a klown, bitch!”

 

Glitz laughed manically. (“Oh”)

 

“Gimmie the crown, bitch!”

 

Glitz added an (“Ooh”) and laughed again.

 

“‘Cause I’m a klown, bitch!”

 

 

The sisters sat on each other’s laps as water gushed down on them. They flipped back their wet hair, letting their hair fall naturally in an alluring style. They grinned evilly, their sharp teeth glowing teal in the darkness.

 

0 0 0

 

 

Part Three: The Revolution

 

Fizzarolli breathed heavily and slammed the door to his darkened dressing room. He leaned back against the door, staring at his frightened face in the mirror. His mirror had the design of Mammon’s giant green jester face with a dozen sharp teeth surrounding the borders. A picture of Mammon’s grinning face with “<3 you cunt!” was taped to the mirror. The lights on the sharp teeth blinked on. On the vanity desk stood bottles and makeup products. A Mammon poster hung on the wall of Mammon posing in the air with his guitar and a microphone. Fizzarolli was holding Mammon’s feet in his hands, blue-teal flames shooting off the stage.

 

Fizzarolli ran up to the mirror.

 

“O-kay, Fizz, you can do this.” He placed a hand over his heart. “You can do this. You can do this.”

 

He wiped his forehead. “It’s okay, it’s fine. You gave a show to do soon, it’s fine.”

 

Fizzarolli then gasped. “Oh-oh no, oh no, no, no, no.”

 

He frantically swirled a brush into some cream and dabbed at his face to cover up the dark spots on his forehead. “No, no…” Piles of Fizzarolli merchandise, including a body pillow, the Fizzarolli Monopoly game and hot sauce littered the room. The merchandise covered a small couch and a fun-house mirror stood off to the side. Circus flags and lights decorated the ceiling. There was a fluffy fashion scarf on a stand and a three-headed Venus fly trap plant in the corner. The wallpaper was green with figures of Mammon on it.

 

His hands shook and he breathed rapidly. He then slowed down a bot as he glanced at a purple and lavender heart in his hands with “OZ” written on it in teal letters. He opened it up, revealing a small heart mirror.

 

“It’s okay, you’re fine, you need to be fine.”

 

“Fizz! Are you okay?” called a familiar voice from behind him.

 

Fizzarolli turned around in shock to see Asmodeus peering inside. Fizzarolli turned around. “Why does everyone keep asking me that?!” He sat down, dabbing his face. “You shouldn’t be here, Asmodeus! I’m fine, please!”

 

Asmodeus struggled to fit his large body through the door. Annoyed, he snapped his fingers and teleported behind his lover.

 

“Froggie,” Asmodeus breathed, placing a hand on his shoulder.

 

Fizzarolli held up his hands and moved out of his grip. “I’m fine! I’m fine! Just needed a minute!”

 

Asmodeus tried to steady Fizzarolli. “You aren’t okay, you’re shaking.” He pulled down his arm.

 

“Ozz, I’m about to go on for the finale, I need some time to mentally prepare.” He stood up and walked around his room. A poster on the wall advertised a “never stain Fizzy Scarf, it’s so washable, cum will never stick to it.” Fizzarolli juggled dildos in a “New dildo juggling update” on another poster. Another poster advertised “Fizzarolli clown juice.” A large Fizzarolli doll sat off to the side.

 

Asmodeus sighed and put a hand to his forehead. “Fizz, come on! I’m trying to talk to you, you can’t force yourself to…”

 

“Ozz,” Fizzarolli interrupted, “I have to do this. This could be my last chance to prove that I’m still good at this. That it’s not over! That I’m still good enough!”

 

He stared at the Mammon concert poster. “It’s not just Mammon. I’m fine. I just…need to be better.”

 

“You think you need to be this perfect, model performer…” Asmodeus began as Fizzarolli stomped to the vanity mirror, “…but that’s because Mammon is always forcing that image onto you!”

 

Fizzarolli stared at himself sadly. “But everything I have is because of Mammon. I have this life. I have security. I have you.”

 

Asmodeus looked at Fizzarolli sadly.

 

Fizzarolli said, “Without Mammon, I wouldn’t be…I wouldn’t have…I just…I have to win this…”

 

“Fizzie,” said Asmodeus, cupping his chin. He hated to see his cherished partner feel so broken and stressed. He wanted Fizzarolli to know how precious their relationship was, how it went beyond Mammon’s influence. Asmodeus knew that Fizzarolli wouldn’t live forever, nor would he be his last lover. But he knew that in his immortal life, Fizzarolli was one individual who brought such a unique passionate joy to it.

 

He wasn’t about to let another ruler of Hell take that away from him.

 

Fizzarolli pulled away.  “I don’t want to lose. Because I feel like if I lose this...” his voice choked. “…I lose you.”

 

Asmodeus scoffed. “How would you lose me?” He placed two hands on Fizzarolli’s shoulders and gave him a gentle shake. “Come on, Froggie.”

 

Fizzarolli stepped away. “You’re with me because of who I am at my best! I’m barely worthy of working with a King of Sin…”

 

Fizzarolli cried out as he removed his jester cap… “cause THIS is who I am!” He revealed the broken stubs of what was left of his imp horns. Tears welled in his eyes as he held his cap. “Without all this, I’m just nothing, and Mammon made me this. I owe it all to him.”

 

“Fizz, Mammon didn’t do shit,” Asmodeus deadpanned. “You already were this.”

 

Fizzarolli slowly turned to look at his partner.

 

“You’d be this no matter what! You are the most inspiring demon I have ever known, and meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me. I adore your inventiveness, your attitude, your resilience.”

 

“And…” Asmodeus added, “You’re just the cutest little thing alive.” Asmodeus nuzzled Fizzarolli’s face with his furry head and he laughed. They held hands and stared into each other’s eyes.

 

“Also, you are a waaay better performer than Mammon ever was, and thaaat’s just facts.” Fizzarolli teared up and blushed at Asmodeus’ genuine compliments.

 

Fizzarolli had almost forgotten how great he was at performing, with his mind locked on pleasing Mammon, who always seemed so perfect and dominant.

 

Fizzarolli sighed and closed his eyes with a somber expression, more tears falling. “It’s-it’s hard, you know? T-to trust that. I-I just…”

 

Asmodeus wiped away Fizzarolli’s tear with his finger.

 

“I love you so much, Ozzie!” He smiled as he embraced Asmodeus in a hug.

 

“And I love you too, Fizzarolli. And I would whether you win this bullshit or not.”

 

“Well, I kinda spent my whole warmup having a panic attack, haha.”

 

Asmodeus smiled down at Fizzarolli and began to sing.

 

“Crooked horn, crooked grin

 

You’re a crooked horny, freaky little joker.”

 

Asmodeus playfully snuck up behind him before Fizzarolli answered in song,

 

“You’re a deadly Sin.”

 

He sadly walked away.

 

Asmodeus continued.

 

“And I don’t wanna hear another goddamn word about

Win, win, win.”

 

Fizzarolli put his jester cap back on over his horns as Asmodeus continued, walking toward Fizzarolli.

 

“Oh, oh, oh, I think you’re messy, but I’m messy, too,” Asmodeus sang as he pulled Fizzarolli into a dance. Sunlight shone on a round pink rug with a yellow heart in the center. The room appeared brighter as Fizzarolli and Asmodeus danced to the music.

 

“No, no, no, I wouldn’t clean a thing, when I ended up with you” Asmodeus sang as he spun Fizzarolli around. Fizzarolli smiled as he danced and leaned close to Asmodeus’ chest.

 

“I don’t know, you waste your time on me,” Fizzarolli sang. 

 

“Baby, all I got is time,” Asmodeus mentioned.

 

“When there is so much I’ll never be,” Fizzarolli sadly reached up in the air, trying to grasp at his dreams. Asmodeus laughed.

 

“Holy shit, babe,” Asmodeus sang as he and Fizzarolli held hands, fingers intertwining. “There’s so much you can’t see.”

 

“What can’t I see?”

They sang together as Asmodeus lifted Fizzarolli into the air.

 

“Oh, oh!”

 

“You’re a broken record,” Asmodeus began. Fizzarolli did a cartwheel down to the floor.

 

“Don’t ever shut your crooked little lips,” sang Asmodeus as he carried Fizzarolli before lowering him almost to the floor. Fizzarolli smirked and said, “What do you want me to do with my lips? Heh-heh.”

 

 They spun around together and sang some more.

 

“Oh, oh, oh, you sure are lucky.

You make my crooked heart do

Freaky little flips.”

 

They touched each other’s faces and leaned close. They stood still, staring deep into each other’s eyes.

 

“You make my crooked heart do…” Asmodeus sang softly before finishing with “’Froggie’ little flips.” He nuzzled Fizzarolli’s head.

 

“Ribbit,” Fizzarolli playfully responded. They both laughed and embraced. Fizzarolli was thankful to have Asmodeus support him. Fizzarolli sighed happily, his eyes wide. They did passionate French-kissing…everything was finally perfect.

 

“You’re gonna listen to me now, BITCH!” roared Creepzo, who burst into the room, waving a dagger, and rushing forward.

 

BANG!

 

One shot from a gun and Creepzo’s head exploded off his body in black blood. The mirror cracked in two and a bullet hole was in the wall. A stunned Fizzarolli and Asmodeus turned to look at Blitzo who was standing in the doorway with his sniper rifle.

 

Blitzo removed his sunglasses. “Oh, so you two are an item? Well congratulations you fucking hypocrites.” He put them on again.

 

Just then, Fizzarolli suddenly realized how he was going to do his big finale. Being with Asmodeus had given him the courage to finally be himself…fully himself. Racing past his friends, he went behind the curtains and got to work.

 

0 0 0

 

Meanwhile outside, the audience was getting impatient, sad, and confused. On imp wearing a green jester cap gasped with his arms out, next to a succubus holding a Fizzarolli action figure. A green demon stood next to her. An imp with clown makeup on her face sadly clenched a clown horn, making it toot.

 

“Uuh, d-don’t worry, folks,” Mammon announced nervously, peering from behind the curtain. “I-I’m sure Fizzarolli will be out soon with a grand fucking performance.”

 

Mammon did rocker signs with his four hands before blue smoke emerged from an explosion from behind him. The crowd roared, clapped, and cheered as Fizzarolli’s performance began. A puzzled Mammon soon grinned before teleporting back onto his green glowing spider web between the jester female bots.

 

On the set was what appeared to be an old dimly lit office, lit only by a round teal light. A figure sat with boots propped up on the desk. The teal glow of a cigarette end lit up…Fizzarolli took a slow drag and smoke floated away. Fizzarolli lounged in an office chair as a ceiling fan slowly spun overhead. A mug and papers were on his desk. Dramatic French-style music started as Fizzarolli somberly sang.

 

“I have wasted time.

I have seen my use.”

 

He put out his cigarette on his desk.

 

“I have packaged and sold every part of me!

Suffered a lifetime of abuse.”

 

 

Four pictures showed Fizzarolli’s brutal history with Mammon. The first one showed Fizzarolli riding on a unicycle, smiling nervously, and juggling a torch with green flames, chainsaws, sharp throwing stars and lit bombs. A smiling Mammon was tossing up the dangerous items to Fizzarolli.

 

The second one showed Fizzarolli tied to a scale with Mammon measuring him. “Heavy!” was typed in red on a screen and a red light glowed on top of the scale. Mammon was scrutinizing his already tiny waist.

 

The third picture showed A frightened Fizzarolli dancing on stage, holding a cane in his hands. Mammon was yelling into a megaphone with a dollar sign on it and holding a red sign that read in yellow, “DANCE CLOWN BOY!!”

 

The fourth picture showed a grinning blindfolded Mammon blindly throwing knives at Fizzarolli. He leaned against a spinning wheel frozen in fear as several knives were stuck in the wheel around him.

 

 

“I have lost myself.”

 

Fizzarolli made a show of chugging down a bottle of beer in the dark and emptying it.

 

“I have worshipped at your feet.”

 

Fizzarolli prostrated on his knees at the dark figure of Mammon against the glowing green web. He then stood up with a determined look on his face. A teal spotlight shown on Fizzarolli.

 

“And here I am standing on top of the world

 

With some bitches to defeat!”

 

Fizzarolli grinned and looked to the right as a spotlight blinded Glitz and Glam who flinched behind the curtain. The sisters flipped him off before pulling the curtains closed. The office set was wheeled off the stage.

 

“I’ve played the game, I’ve won it all.

 

They’ve screamed my name…”

 

Fizzarolli mentioned to the adoring crowd…an imp with square glasses, an imp couple, a hellhound woman doing rocker signs…

 

“They bought the doll…”

 

Fizzarolli flinched as a large grey canine demon pulled a Fizzarolli robot toy down to his crotch.

 

“I’ve seized the day.

 

Now I’ve got one thing left to say-ay-ay…”

 

Fizzarolli grinned and happily tore off his sleeves, revealing both his robotic arms. He no longer hid his so-called disability.

 

“Fuck you!” Fizzarolli lifted up both middle fingers as fireworks boomed over the stage. In an orange explosion, “FUCK YOU” appeared in white letters. The whole area was now brightened.

 

“Here’s my two minutes notice, fuck you!”

 

Fizzarolli rolled, twirled, and spun on a large teal ball with pink hearts on it. He flipped into the air and revealed both middle fingers again as he fell back down. Pink spider webs pulsed behind him.

 

He gracefully landed back on the ball, doing acrobatic flips, and then balancing himself on a second ball underneath the first, a pink one with teal stars on it.

 

“Time to quit and smell the roses…”

 

He conjured a large bouquet of pink roses and flowers in his hand.

 

“Say goodbye…”

 

He tossed the giant bouquet into the crowd, several imps screaming and running as it fell on them. He rolled on the balls some more.

 

“…While I look you in the eye and say ‘fuck you!’”

 

He leaped off the ball, spreading out his legs in midair before gracefully landing back down. He raised his middle finger again as four jets of green fire ejected from the stage. The crowd was delighted!

 

 

 

“Interesting song,” Mammon muttered.  “I wonder what fuckin’ this is about.”

 

“Fuckity, fuckity, fuckity you!” Fizzarolli chanted.

 

Mammon held popcorn in one of his hands. Three pink hearts swirled above his head, creating a flaming portal. Asmodeus poked his head through and smirked at Mammon who was eating, “It’s about you.”

 

“Wait, what?” Mammon asked with his mouth full as Asmodeus disappeared.

 

 

 

“Fuck you!” Fizzarolli continued.  

 

“I have taken shit.”

 

Fizzarolli’s arms were pulled by a glowing pink chain. A pink figure of Mammon yelled at Fizzarolli and pointed off to the left. Pink mammon slapped Fizzarolli hard, and he tumbled to the floor. Four teal horned demons held their heads back in a choir around Fizzarolli.

 

“Been crushed under your heel…”

 

A yellow and green Mammon apparition grinned as he stomped on Fizzarolli. The real Mammon spat and laughed out loud, pointing at Fizzarolli.

 

“I have suffered for profit…”

 

The four teal demon figures “ooohed” again in song before Fizzarolli’s limbs were tangled in glowing green string like puppet strings. He was twirled around erratically in the air under a yellow spotlight as figures of demons laughed.

 

“…And suckered for fame…”

 

“Made a fortune you could steal…”

 

A Mammon shadow grinned and spiraled to consume a green light.

 

“I’ve had enough!”

 

Fizzarolli broke free from the shackles binding his hands and feet. He landed back down on stage. A green spotlight was above Fizzarolli.

 

“I’ve hit the wall,

 

I’m tired of taking your calls…”

 

He pulled out his ringing cellphone with a “Queen Fizzy” cover on it and a yellow fluffy keychain. The screen read “Incumming call: Master. (A picture of Mammon holding his long striped tongue with two fingers.) Under two upside-down pentagrams it read “PICK UP” and “PICK UP, YA CUNT.”

 

He tossed the phone aside to the floor.

 

“It ends today.

 

Now there’s just one last thing to say-ay-ay…”

 

Fizzarolli grinned as he lit a match by striking it against his robotic arms.

 

“Fuck you!”

 

Fizzarolli drew in the air and posed with outstretched arms as “Fuck You!” appeared in fiery cursive above him.

 

“I wish I had said it sooner, fuck you!”

 

Off to the side, Asmodeus breathed teal fire onto a stick and tossed it to Fizzarolli. Fizzarolli grinned as he tossed the baton through the air, both ends on fire. He already felt love and confidence surging through him as Asmodeus’ sigil glowed golden behind him on the curtains. He raised his middle finger again and tossed the baton in the air.

 

“Cut you off, just like a tumor!”

 

He spun around and posed on his back; his shirt purposefully ripped. He stroked a finger up his stomach and chest, making a seductive smirk. Asmodeus smiled as Fizzarolli skillfully caught the flaming baton in his mouth.

 

“Hope you die!”

 

Fizzarolli made a slicing motion with his finger over his throat, leaning his head back to mimic his head being cut off. He twirled the baton in his other hand.

 

Then on the screen, he playfully slapped his own ass.

 

“Kiss my ass goodbye, you cuck, fuck you!”

 

Fizzarolli blew the teal Lust Ring flames into the crowd. Asmodeus smiled from behind the curtains.

 

Fizzarolli jumped down into the crowd and began a rap as circus music blared.

 

“Have you ever felt sick and tired

 

Of doing the same shit everyday with your anger brewin’

 

Eatin’ shit for a boss that you’re sick of obeyin’

 

If you ever felt the same, let me hear ya say it!”

 

He placed his arms around an imp and a gray demon lady with a sharp tail. He poked a pink demon lady on the nose. He smiled at an imp girl, then leaped over a giant dog. An imp with male horns wearing a black mammon dress grinned at Fizzarolli. Imp kids and teens admired him as he sang. He cupped his hands around a demon with a fishhook in his nose and they smiled. Fizzarolli’s charisma was helping to being demons from many Rings and cultures together. Fizzarolli flipped back onto the stage as an ensemble supported him with the next lyrics.

 

“Did you really think I was gonna stay?”

 

Fizzarolli swayed up a flight of green stairs coming from the stage floor.

 

“Spending my life bent over with your fist in my “a.”

 

Fizzarolli wiggled his butt out and then raised a fist. The crowd clapped before briefly becoming puzzled/disgusted.

 

“Slander me, say I’ll never work in this town,” he sang as he raced to the top of the green stairs. Two tall candles with green flames appeared and a purple striped coffin rose from the ground. Green light shone from the coffin as Fizzarolli jumped and posed on top.

 

“If I stick around, I’ll be six more feet under the ground!”

 

He made a show of placing his hands over his chest and falling dead into the coffin.

 

 “FUCK YOU!” the ensemble cried as Fizzarolli leaped out of the coffin and harmonized, “Wo-oh-oh!” He tore off his puffy white collar in midair as green spotlights crisscrossed over Fizzarolli.

 

(“Here’s my two minutes notice, fuck you!”) The ensemble sang as Fizzarolli swung across the arena on a trapeze bar, finally feeling free. He let go and spun in the air near the glowing green Mammon coin/moon in the sky.

 

“Suck it, greedy bastard!

 

You’re a fucking ass clown!”

 

(Time to quit and smell the roses!)”

 

An oblivious Mammon happily clapped along with his jester bots.

 

 

(“Say goodbye!”) Fizzarolli and the ensemble sang, “too late to apologize!” The crowd cheered as Fizzarolli leaned down his arm to give them high-fives. Fizzarolli gasped as a dog demon happily grabbed onto his legs as he swung. The dog fell off Fizzarolli dead in a gory mess thanks to a blast from Blitzo’s rifle. Smiling, Fizzarolli looked up at Blitzo, who grinned with a thumbs up.

 

“So this is it…”

 

Fizzarolli flipped several times in midair and landed on top of the stairs. He knocked down the coffin as the spotlight on him turned pink. He clenched his fists and took a deep breath at his ultimate act of courage. He pointed at Mammon and yelled,

 

“MAMMON, YOU SAD SACK OF SHIT!”

 

The crowd stopped clapping and looked up at Mammon with worried looks.

 

Mammon froze, then growled loudly after realizing that his star performer was now mocking him. Briefly looking around puzzled, he then bared his teeth and yellow electricity sizzled around him.

 

“FUCK YOOOOOU….” Fizzarolli sang.

 

The lighting turned a heroic golden and violet as Fizzarolli triumphantly held up his middle finger again. In a dazzling display, blue fireworks boomed out in both directions and green smoke and confetti exploded from nearby cannons. “FUCK YOU” appeared in blue bold letters with gold trim as more sparks sprayed out from the sides of the structure. A pink F and a U appeared over the words and neon green middle fingers lit up and moved. “Fuck you” was also written in teal cursive on a magenta sign with a teal heart on top. To top it off, neon teal lights at the very top showed two hands mimicking a penis going into a vagina.

 

“…YOU BITCH! YEAH!”

 

Fizzarolli posed under a teal spotlight and caught the microphone as all the signs lowered into the floor.

 

Fizzarolli bowed as the crowd stood up and gave him a roaring demonic encore! One of the jester bots clapped and an angry Mammon slapped it off his web. He took a bag of popcorn from the other fanning bot and angrily chewed. Fizzarolli stood up and blushed at Asmodeus, who gave him a thumbs up behind the curtain. Fizzarolli had never felt so jubilant in his life.

 

“Thank you all so much. You know, it’s always been one of the greatest thrills of my life performing. And I’m so glad to bring you all one, last show.”

 

Fizzarolli smiled down at the waving imp boy he had met earlier and signed “THANK YOU.” The boy gasped and grinned, amazed to be recognized by his role model.

 

“Cause now…” Fizzarolli closed his eyes…and then grinned hugely with a shrug, “I quit!” He dropped the microphone and the crowd gasped.

 

Mammon vomited on the other fanning bot. “WHAT?!” he bellowed in rage.

 

In a flash, the king of Greed teleported in front of Fizzarolli. Fizzarolli flinched as Mammon pointed his dollar sign staff under his chin.

 

“QUIT?! You miserable piece of shit! What do you mean quit?!”

 

Fizzarolli smirked and moved the staff away with a finger. He waved his hand.

 

 “I meaaaan, I quit. I’m done.” In an Australian accent, he mocked, “G’day, mate!” while flipping him off with two middle fingers.

 

Mammon’s eye twitched before he seethed, his face darkening. Smoke bellowed from his mouth and six smaller glowing yellow eyes appeared on his forehead. He vanished in smoke and rushed toward the flinching Fizzarolli. With low growls from inside enormous clouds of smoke, Mammon lifted up a giant sharp yellow bug leg that almost stabbed Fizzarolli who backed away. Asmodeus peered from behind the curtain, grabbing it in his fist.

 

“Oh that motherfucker…”

 

Mammon pulled back his sharp leg. He wiggled out of a slime-covered larva sack that resembled the design of his jester outfit.

 

He let out a low demonic growl. “YOU FUCKING UNGRATEFUL LITTLE SHIT!”

 

He rose from his sack, growling until the growls intensified into screams. Mammon was in his true demonic form, slamming down his eight bug legs on the ground. He had the appearance and traits of a spider and a parasite, thinking of nothing but consumption. He even had a striped bee-like bug bottom with stingers and spikes.

 

“I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING!” he screamed at Fizzarolli in a distorted demonic voice. “YOU ARE PRACTICALLY IN MY IMAGE!”

 

Fizzarolli just crossed his arms and glared unintimidated by his former master. Mammon jabbed a giant finger at him.

 

“I RAISED YOU LIKE THE SON I DIDN’T WANT!”

 

Fizzarolli slapped his giant finger away and narrowed his eyes, causing Mammon to narrow his eyes in return.

 

Asmodeus appeared protectively behind Fizzarolli in a roar of teal and red flames. He towered high and his three heads roared and turned red, speaking in a demonic voice.

 

“YOU’D BETTER BACK THE FUCK UP, MAM!”

 

In the stands, Wally Wackford laughed out loud and pointed with his cane. “Holy shit! I say, I say!” He was dressed in a green, black, and gold suit and his green top hat had yellow teeth as the rim. Next to him was a hellhound with a small imp appearing out of a bowl of popcorn.

 

Mammon chuckled darkly before turning to Asmodeus.

 

“Look who’s acting like a big fuckin’ hero.” He crawled over to Asmodeus, placing a finger under his chin. “Careful what you say, Ozzie. Wouldn’t want your little secret getting out, would we?” He smirked while pointing down at Fizzarolli.

 

Asmodeus yelled into his face, flames turning red. “I don’t care anymore!” The two Sins butted heads.

 

“Ozz?” Fizzarolli asked in concern.

 

Mammon smirked and backed up. “Because if you let him quit, I could tell everyone hereee that you…”

 

“What?” asked Asmodeus. “That I love him? Well I do!”

 

To Mammon’s surprise, the crowd erupted into fangirl screams and yelled “I knew it, I knew it!” They all excitedly typed on their cell phones. One male imp wearing a green striped jester hat and a white goatee had three cell phones attached to his arm.

 

 The first phone was “Louie” texting a partner who soon broke up with him.

 

“Babe I can change. PLEASE!”

 

“You don’t get it. Don’t talk to me, don’t message me, don’t call me ever again. We’re done, asshole. Have a shitty day.”

 

“I AM THE ONE TRUE SHIPPER AND I WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG!”

 

“YOU CALLED ME A FOOL? WELL LOOK WHO’S LAUGHING NOW! EXPECT FAN ART SOON!”

 

The second cellphone showed Twitter texts.

 

“Clarisse @ simparolli: Ozzarolli confirmed guys! It’s fucking REAL! #ozzarolli #fizzaozzie”

 

“Yannah @mamdonaldsaddict: OZZIE FUX FIZZ? LOVINGLY???”

 

“LooLooBro @looloolooland: I CALLED IT! I TOLD YOU ALL! (Gif of Fizzarolli yelling and saying “YEEESS!”

 

“Minnie @downiecookie: I honk but no one listens. (Clown emojis).”

 

The third cellphone showed profiles on a “ClownEmporium” website, “Greed’s #1 forum for clowns and clown adjacent Hellborns!”

 

“HAWT NEWS!! OZZIE AND FIZZIE IN LOVE? EW!”

 

xxHonkiexx: “I am pleased to announce that my collection of multicolored combs continues to grow! I am forever grateful to all my followers who helps me make this possible. And to the haters who like to shit on my collection, you’re just ugly and jealous, touch some grass.”

 

Doug…Dugs: “Anyone have a good website where one could find quality high res vids of clown feet for research purposes? The only ones I can find are in 480p, I can’t even see the wrinkles. 4k or higher, otherwise, don’t waste my time.”

 

 

Mammon looked stunned and scratched his head. “Oh-uh. Shit.” Then he put his hands on his hips, coming up with an insult. “Ah-you dirty bitch!”

 

He crawled on all his legs and smirked near Asmodeus’ face. He spoke in a demonic voice, whispering ominously into Asmodeus’ ears.

 

“You are gonna regret revealing that, Ozz!” He chuckled darkly and snorted green smoke into Fizzarolli’s face. He then broke out into loud sinister laughter, revenge brewing in his eyes. He disappeared in smoke and dollar bill signs one last time. The crowd screamed and flinched as the arena, stage, and circus tents came crashing down in explosions.

 

Asmodeus held Fizzarolli protectively in his flaming teal hands, sitting up after the explosions were over. Fizzarolli stood up and coughed in Asmodeus’ flaming hands. Relieved to see Fizzarolli unharmed, he brought him close to his face, the lovers nuzzling and sighing happily.

 

Glitz lay on top of her sister and lifted up her head.

 

“So does that mean we win?”

 

Glam also lifted up her head. Both sisters smirked at each other before a slab of rock fell on them. “ACK!” they yelled from underneath the rubble.

 

A poster showing dancing on a ball and Mammon grinning in green light was run over by the wheels of the limo. Mammon dollar bills lay in the street. Meanwhile inside the limo, Fizzarolli and Asmodeus were nuzzling and making lovey-dovey giggling noises, Fizzarolli cradled in his partner’s arms. Blitzo smirked next to them and asked, “So, um, who tops?”

 

Fizzarolli groaned and Asmodeus blushed. They both looked at each other, implying that they each took turns being dominant in bed.

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