Part 1
Moxxie, like Millie, was
born in the Wrath Ring. He had his parents, Crimson Knolastname and Rosa
Knolastname. Rosa was a beautiful, hard-working imp with a rougher side to her.
She wore colorful pollera and blue and white diner-style dresses with lots of
ruffles. She wore hoop earrings and had a red flower in her long black hair.
She had two black straight horns and white freckles on her face like Moxxie. While
she was known for her Latin American-style dancing and her delicious meat
meals, no one dared mess with her. For she was skilled with wielding a variety
of weapons from a young age.
She soon became a
purchased wife of Crimson and Moxxie was born. Crimson, greedy from the start,
soon grew tired of the dry, less than humble lifestyle in the desert lands. As
the head of the family, he decided to move to the Greed Ring when his son
became a young kid, and of course, Rosa and Moxxie had to follow him.
Crimson quickly used his
charm and cleverness to start off as a salesman. He sold a variety of weapons,
drugs, and drinks to a variety of imps. Quickly adjusting to the “survival of
the richest” mentality of the Greed Ring, he moved up the ranks. After joining
a smaller mafia and killing off rivals, he befriended loan shark bodyguards and
incubi. He’d offer his services to other demons but found a way to raise his
prices so they’d have no choice but to pay him back extra…or lose their lives
in the process. Rebellious gang members conceded to Crim’s whims, and he soon
became a mafia boss.
Crimson and Rosa trained
Moxxie in weaponry at a young age. Moxxie’s specialties were long-range
weapons, battle tactics, and planning. Crimson encouraged domination and brute
strength in his son, but Rosa did her best to steer Moxxie away from murdering
in cold blood. Although Rosa was involved in the mafia and enjoyed what wealth
they had, there were moments where she drew the line. Rosa loved her son
dearly, while Crimson saw Moxxie as more of an asset to the family. Moxxie was
in good hands, provided he kept the family rich and their dealings a secret.
Little Moxxie wore a
white sweater with a small pink bowtie and was trying to cut his Fiorentina
steak at the dinner table with potatoes on the side. Rosa took his plate in her
hand. She cut his steak with two knives and smiled warmly at her son. Moxxie
smiled back as she handed the plate back to him. Moxxie enjoyed his meal.
Crimson glared at his wife.
“Let the boy cut his own
meat,” he muttered.
“I was just trying to
help,” she replied.
Crimson moved his foot
toward her feet, and she fearfully moved hers back. Crimson stomped his foot in
warning. Crimson wore black pointed shoes and Rosa wore her signature white
high heeled shoes with pink tips and bows.
Not long after, Moxxie
fired his gun at three scarecrow-like targets with white sack heads shaped like
imp faces. They had yellow grins and stripped horns. Moxxie fired into each of
their chests, right on the bull’s eyes. He held his rifle proudly as Rosa
stroked his head in approval. He smiled at her.
A green arm then grabbed
hold of Moxxie. It was a green loan shark, one of his father’s many lackeys. He
had a white tank top and a black hat.
“Mox!” he called.
“Here’s something really cool you can shoot at! Come on, I’ll show you!”
He and another loan shark
dragged Moxxie over to a roofed wooden section of the junkyard. The sky was a
dark gloomy gray, made darker by the smog. Crimson stood flanked by his
lackeys. Rosa held up a hand and called “Wait!” but no one heard her.
Moxxie got excited,
ready to impress his father with his marksmanship.
Then he heard a man’s
voice, struggling.
“Crim, you loaned me six
thousand souls for my business. I already paid you back the nine thousand souls
yesterday!”
“Due to extra tax and my
service, I told you that you owed me ten thousand nine hundred and two souls!”
“You never said that
before!”
“I say what I want.
Business is business and you didn’t listen.”
“Let go of me!”
“This is what happens to
those who don’t pay me.”
The shirtless imp was
hoisted upright, his arms tied to a wooden stake, a red target painted on his
chest. His eyes glowed hypnotic green and he had a fearful look on his face.
The sharks and incubus moved off to the side.
Moxxie froze.
“Your first living
target, Mox!” Crimson said excitedly. “A necessary skill for the family
business.”
Crimson pulled Moxxie
close and pointed at the victim. “Go ahead, shoot him right in the chest like
you practiced.”
With shaking hands,
Moxxie aimed his rifle.
Rosa then snatched it
away from him.
“She shoved the rifle
into Crimson. “You do it! I’m not letting my son become a killer. Let’s go,
Mox.”
She took Moxxie by the
hand and led him away.
Crimson growled angrily
from behind.
Moxxie hid under the bed
as his parents argued and fought. Crimson slapped his wife hard in the face.
“Cagna!” Crimson
spat. “You really think you’re doing this family a favor by making our son into
a soft sissy?”
“Don’t call him that!”
Rosa barked, hiding her fear. “I may do everything you ask, but I draw the line
when it comes to morality. At least wait until he’s older to make the first
kill.”
“Everyone gets started
young,” Crimson demanded. “I will not allow my son to taint the image of my
family business. He needs to grow some fucking balls and do the necessary
deeds!”
“He’s just a kid!
Murdering in cold blood will scar him for life! I teach him planning and
self-defense. He’ll be an honorable fighter, not some brute who feeds off of
fear!”
“Which is exactly what
we do!” Crimson explained. “You think I’m gonna let my son be at the mercy of
our rivals or worse, allow him to leave this family? Dead wrong! Mox must be
calculating, tough, and not afraid to end anyone who threats our lineage!”
“Well, I’m not gonna let
you turn my son into a psychotic murderer! Or one who abuses him every day like
you do! At least he shows respect for the dead! You happily kill like a
maniacal monster if it means getting moolah at the end of the day!”
“Greed is our home, and
here it is survival of the richest.”
“W-well, guess what?
This place does not feel like home. I-in fact…I’m gonna move back to Wrath with
Moxxie!”
Crimson seethed, cupping
her face roughly. “If you value this family and your life…you will do no such
thing.”
“Tempta id.”
With a courage she
didn’t know she had, Rosa slapped him back in the face. With that, she turned
on her heels and left, slamming the door. Crimson stomped after her.
All Moxxie could hear
were screams and thumps from the other room.
0 0 0
The next time Moxxie
tried to cut his steak, Crimson narrowed his eyes at Moxxie, holding his cigar.
Moxxie whimpered and Crimson growled in warning. He blew smoke in his son’s
lonely face.
“Come with me,” said
Crimson after Moxxie was finished eating. “There are two victims that need
disposing of.”
Crimson took Moxxie out
on a wooden boat down a murky trash-filled lake. The boat had slime on it and
barnacles with eyes on the side. The sky was a dark ominous gray. Inside the
boat were two figured with their hands tied behind their backs. There were
sacks over their faces and Crimson had drawn black smiley faces on them.
Crimson stopped the boat
and lifted up a cinderblock with rope tied to it. He mentioned to Moxxie to
push it into the water. Tears filled Moxxie’s eyes.
“Don’t cry, boy,”
Crimson gripped Moxxie’s shoulder tightly. “Just do it.”
Moxxie’s heart broke at
the sounds of their victims groaning and whimpering under their gags and sacks.
Moxxie thought the pointed tail of the first victim looked familiar. Before
Moxxie could take a further look, Crimson shoved him forward. The force made
Moxxie push the cinderblock into the water and the first victim toppled
overboard.
Moxxie gasped and stared
at the dark depths. But Moxxie was soon guided by Crimson toward the second
victim.
The imp whimpered and
struggled in vain against his bonds. His stripped horns had been cut off.
Moxxie stared at his long tail wrapped around the block in curiosity. Moxxie
reached for the sack, but his father shoved him back, hitting his face on the
cinderblock. He rubbed his nose as more tears fell. The victim spoke behind the
gag.
“Please don’t! Please
no! I have a family! Don’t do this! Please don’t…!”
Moxxie stared up at the
imp for a few more moments and pushed the cinderblock. The imp toppled over
into the water. Moxxie watched a few bubbles pop up and then…nothing.
Crimson lifted a rock
with a rope tied to it onto the boat. He cupped Moxxie’s face roughly.
“Let this be a lesson,
Moxxie. This is what happens to those who cross me.”
Moxxie saw a variety of
things in the water…old cats, cigarette packs, imp horns, shoes, playing cards…
…and bobbling up to the
surface was his mother’s white high heeled shoe.
Moxxie gasped. “What
have I done?” he thought in despair.
Moxxie never saw the two
black bloodied horns of his mother on display in his father’s bedroom.
0 0 0
Time passed and as
Moxxie grew up, he soon attended his induction into the mafia. It was one of
the few times that his father kissed him on the cheek and said, “I’m proud of
you.”
Several shark mafia
members clapped at the table, one of them having bony hands. Chaz smirked as he
clapped, wearing a black jacket with bone designs on it. Chaz noticed Moxxie
and winked with a grin. Moxxie’s face flushed. Chaz truly was sexy and
magnetic.
Moxxie soon had his
first mission: fight off a warring imp gang. The imps had been trying to steal
Crimson’s resources for years. Moxxie ducked under an overturned car as gunfire
blasted on the top with metallic clangs. Imps in suits and gray hats were busy
shooting at each other and one lay dead. An explosion shook the ground and
Moxxie flinched. He tossed his rifle to the side and took out a hand grenade.
It was round with a pentagram on it. He tried to pull the string, but he
fumbled with it. It bounced out of his hand and rolled out into the open.
Moxxie ran after it as green explosive fire rose behind him. As Moxxie reached
for the grenade, a larger hand covered his own.
Moxxie looked into
Chaz’s sexy shark face and nervously scratched the side of his head. Both his
cheeks were pink. Moxxie was able to pull the black string and tossed the
grenade into the air. Moxxie and Chaz stared romantically at each other as the
grenade exploded into a green heart of flame.
But back at the mansion…
“Moxxie, what were you
doing staring at Chaz like an idiot?”
“Well, dad, I…”
“You’re not in love with
him, are you?” His eyes narrowed as he sat in his armchair, green fire behind
him.
“W-what if I am? Is that
a bad thing?”
“You bet your ass it
is,” Crimson remarked. “Especially if he’s not rich. I saw you and Chaz on the
battlefield…the guy couldn’t stop talking about his looks and dick.”
“I love him, dad! Both
of us will do great things for this family!”
“I don’t wanna see you
getting distracted. Being gay doesn’t look good to traditional mafia
associates. And besides, he’s nothing but a friendless horse-fucker! You’re
better off with a rich lady imp from Greed. Leviathans and those of the sea are
more…unpredictable.”
Unpredictable? Moxxie
suddenly got excited thinking about Chaz.
“I’m bisexual and he’s
hot and we’ll find a way to make things work!” Moxxie spoke with confidence.
“I still don’t approve
of it,” said his father. “If I ever see you mess around with that piss stain
again instead of doing your job…you’ll see him in a box next time.”
“Y-yes sir,” Moxxie
whimpered.
Later on, there was a
knock at the door. Moxxie was alone in the room. He opened it and there stood a
smug Chaz. He held cardboard slabs and flipped them. He had written:
“TELL YOUR DAD IT’S A
SALEMAN…”
“I CAN’T STOP THINKING
ABOUT YOU…”
“MOKSIE WILL YOU BONE
WITH ME?” He drew a heart.
Moxxie blushed and
smirked again, letting him in. They had some fun sex in his bedroom. Moxxie
turned on some music to make sure his father didn’t hear anything else. After
the session. Moxxie wiped his rifle in the candlelight and Chaz helped him clean
it beside him.
Finally, Chaz painted a
shirtless Moxxie on a couch, Moxxie wearing black boots and a blue heart
necklace reminiscent of the Titanic scene. Chaz snickered at his cartoon
drawing of Moxxie and him labeling: “Smaller dick than mine.”
Moxxie thought he and
Chaz would get married and live happily ever after…
…until the night they
decided to initiate a heist. They snuck into a vault and managed to grab bags
of money. It was a vault in one of Mammon’s banks. If Moxxie could show this to
his dad, he’d be praised for a week. The alarms rang, the lights flashed red,
and the two of them raced down the hall. There was a pink chandelier above them
and shutters with Mammon’s logo on them. Moxxie gasped as the gate was about to
close. Moxxie tossed the bag of money under it and the bag slid outside. Moxxie
slid forward and held it open for Chaz. Chaz slid under the gate and grabbed
the bag of money. Moxxie let go and accidentally caught his leg and tail under
the gate.
“Chaz, help!” Moxxie
called, arm outstretched.
Chaz was about to lift
the gate when police sirens sounded nearby. Police cars raced toward the duo on
either side. Chaz gave Moxxie an apologetic look and raced off with the money
into the shadows, just before the police cars converged in front of the bank.
Tears fell from Moxxie’s eyes after Chaz’s betrayal.
Before long, Moxxie was
tossed into a green jail cell. The bars were worn, and parts were missing.
There was nothing but two bunk beds and an old dirty toilet in the corner.
Moxxie cried and curled up on the lower bunk. Moxxie wore an orange prison
outfit with #6984 on it.
“So, what are you in
for?” asked a voice.
Moxxie turned and saw
his cellmate #6983. It was another imp, who rested on the top bunk bed with his
hands behind his head. Both imps wore orange prison outfits. The other imp
poked his head and looked over at Moxxie, still curled up. “Okay, not much of a
talker, are we?”
The imp hopped down and
shook Moxxie’s hand. “Yeah, I’m Blitz, the ‘o’ is silent! Now I’m sure we’re
gonna get along just fine, so what’s your deal? What’d you do? Who’d you
diddle?” He mimicked shooting a gun. Moxxie cried and held up a hand to speak,
but Blitzo interrupted him. “You look like someone who’s good with a gun. You
look like someone who’d shoot up an office and I hope you are, because I got a
plan to get us out of this dump, but I’m gonna need some help. You think you
can give me a hand? I need to get out to my daughter. The babysitter will kill
me if I don’t get back soon…”
Moxxie smiled, tearfully
as he watched this strange imp talk about his family. Blitzo caring for his
daughter reminded Moxxie of how his mother used to care for him.
With Moxxie’s help, the
imps scratched their way through the worn bars of the jail, snuck past the
German shepherd guards (and fought some of them off) and raced through the
streets and alleyways beyond the police eyes. They soon took refuge at Blitzo’s
apartment.
“So, you wanna help me
kill some people?” Blitzo asked. “We could make it into our own business.”
Moxxie shook Blitzo’s
hand in agreement and smiled…he had nowhere else to go after all. For the
moment, he was finally free from his father and old life.
0 0 0
Not long after Chaz
dated Moxxie, he soon started hutting on Millie. Like Moxxie, Millie was
awestruck by his charm, sexiness, and charisma. Every time he visited Wrath, he
swooned Millie over with flowers and his display of wielding various weapons.
Chaz even laughed when he lost to Millie in an arm-wrestling contest.
“Millie, my beautiful
warrior…your eyes burn brighter than the suns in Hell. If Hell is hot, then it
has never met the new love of my life.”
He and Millie held hands
and also had several juicy sexual sessions together in Millie’s bedroom. Her
parents didn’t seem to mind too much, if Millie was happy, then they were as
well…provided Chaz was tough enough. Millie laughed as Chaz held her in her
arms on top of an old boat, like the two main characters did on the Titanic. Millie
whooped and smiled as they cheered for all of Wrath to hear.
Millie thought she and
Chaz would get married and live happily ever after…
…until Chaz started
hitting on Sallie May and bragged about his dick size.
Needless to say, when
Millie found out the truth…
“I’ll kill you, Chazwick
Thurman! When I’m finished with you, you’ll be shark bait!”
And with that, Millie
chased him out of her house with a knife…and then held her head in her hands
after the breakup.
0 0 0
Part 2 – Present Day
The I.M.P. headquarters
office building loomed large against the hellish red sky above. Inside the
office, Moxxie and Loona sat at the table on tall chairs with spikes around the
jagged tops. Moxxie held a magenta mug in his hand with a small picture of his
face on it and gold musical notes. Loona stared at her black cellphone in her
hands. Moxxie wore his usual suit and bowtie while Loona wore her usual
tattered dark gray tank top, collar, and shorts. On the white board were a variety
of Blitzo’s drawings. One showed a horse head with “Breakfast” next to it, and
the horse’s name “Lesbian Bottom.” Another horse head drawing with “Kaboom:
Bisexual, Versatile. (One night stand with all the other horses) And another
horse head: “King Slut: Bisexual, Versatile, Transphobic.” Another horse
wearing sunglasses: “Blue Cheese: Gay, Top.” “Sunbeam: Lesbian, Top, Versatile.”
“Slime: Bottom, Doesn’t Like Labels!” Another horse head: “Bottom: says he’s
straight but he’s not, bong water is antivax. Blue Cheese’s side hoe.” In big
red letters with arrows pointing to the horses, it read “All are Trans!” Also,
“Lesbians in love, engaged!” “Open relationship with Blue Cheese.” In purple it
read, “These are my OCs, do not steel!”
Moxxie looked around and
put down his mug. He looked down nervously and clapped his hands.
Moxxie moved his head
around. “You know, I checked the scale today…” He breathed deeply with a sigh
and gave a smug grin and upward fist... “…and it said I lost two pounds this
week.” He held up two fingers, proudly.
Loona stared blankly,
rolled her eyes with a shrug, then returned to looking at her phone.
Moxxie stood up angrily.
“I. Am not. FAT!”
A fuming Millie kicked
open the door, knocking off a stone bust of Blitzo’s head off a pillar. She
stomped again and the stone head shattered on the ground. In Millie’s hand was
her cracked pink mug with hearts and her face on it. She growled, muttered, and
stomped again.
She stood on her toes
before tossing her pink mug onto the table. It landed in front of Loona, coffee
slopping. Loona froze in stunned confusion. Millie punched a nearby pink button
that read “Nut Button!” on a sticky note. A cardboard cutout of a blonde-haired
man rose up from the floor wearing a blue suit, black necktie, pants and black
shoes. “Hi, I’m a Hooman!” was written on tapped cardboard near his face. Red
targets were visible on his forehead, chest, and groin. Millie tossed a jagged
dagger into the cardboard man’s groin. She lunged herself at her target with a
yell and began ripping off his cardboard head with her claws and teeth.
“Millie, honey?
Everything okay?” Moxxie asked in a meek concerned voice.
In response, Millie let
out a demonic growl, her forked tongue sticking out with a hiss, her eyes glowing
yellow. Millie’s eyes returned to normal, and she took some breaths.
“Yeah…just…bumped into
an ex.” Her tail rattled.
“Oh!” Moxxie said. “Oh...”
He looked downcast.
Millie slipped off her
cardboard target, holding her dagger. “He just kept going on about how he has
money now, and a ‘bright future’, and a ‘bigger cock!’”
“Wait, what?” Moxxie
asked.
Millie seethed. “Every
time I see his stupid face, I can’t help it, I just need to…”
Millie yelled and
punched square filing cabinets and they crashed to the floor. Pictures spilled
out and floated everywhere.
Blitzo marched inside,
holding his red cellphone, covering it with a hand. “What the fuck is all this
noise?! I got a client!”
Moxxie raced over.
“Sorry, sir. I’ll get this all cleaned…What is this?”
Among all the pictures
of succubus in sexual positions and porn was a picture in Moxxie’s hands of two
imps making out with their tongues while wearing horse suits.
Blitzo took the picture
from a disgusted Moxxie. “Uh…research! For science!” He dropped it and headed
back out the door. “Put them back correctly, okay? I alphabetized them.”
Blitzo
talked on his cell phone in the shadows back in his office.
“Okay, so let me get
this straight: you don’t want us going to Earth at all for this job?”
“Correct,” spoke a male
voice on the other end. “That will not be necessary.” He had a subtle Italian
accent. In a tall chair, the businessman faced the fireplace, the iron barrier
decorated with designs of black sharks. The fire in the fireplace glowed a ghastly
green. In one of his hands was a lit-up cigar and he twirled it. A chipped
white bowl was on a nearby table.
The businessman
continued. “I’d like to meet you with your whole crew at my estate.”
Blitzo pondered. “Uh,
you want us killing someone in Hell, ‘cause I gotta tell ya, that ain’t exactly
our business no more.”
“I’ll tell ya all about
it when you’re here. It’s in regards to a business venture I’m sure will be
very worth your time.” He dumped ashes from the lit cigar into the bowl. The
smoke from the cigar floated in a skull-like shape.
Blitzo grinned. “Ooh, how
ominous.” He chuckled. “Fine, whatever, what’s the address?”
“Transportation has
already been taken care of,” the businessman finished.
A black shark-like
shadow darted across the window from the outside. Blitzo peered through the
blinds, then raced into the other room toward the window. He spotted a large
purple helicopter hovering by the I.M.P. building. It had pointed imp horn
designs underneath it and a sharp tail like a shark.
Blitzo pressed his hands
against the window. “What the fuck is that?!” Millie and Moxxie stood up and
joined Blitzo.
In a flash, a green
arrow grappling hook shot out from the helicopter and pierced a lower window.
The cracks rapidly expanded as the rope was pulled.
CRASH!
The windows and wall
burst apart and shattered, leaving a giant open hole. Loona stared in
disinterest as if this were an everyday occurrence.
“Satan’s ass crack!”
Blitzo bellowed as the smoke cleared. “Enough with the walls shit! We have a
door!”
A gust of wind blew all
of Blitzo’s porn pictures out the window. Blitzo gasped and extended his hand.
“My research!!”
The pictures floated
down and a mother imp walked with her little son and daughter. The daughter
took one of the pictures and the boy did, too. The boy looked at the picture of
the horse imps making out and the girl saw two succubi giving each other anal.
The girl imp wailed while the boy vomited as the mother gasped.
A ramp extended from the
helicopter and a green shark appeared. He wore a purple jacket with a small
bowtie and a matching pilot’s cap. He wore thick sunglasses and had a cigar in
his mouth.
“I.M.P.? Right this way,
please,” he called.
Moxxie held out his
pistol, while Millie brandished her dagger.
“Uh sir, what’s going
on?!” Moxxie asked his boss.
Blitzo waved a hand. “Now
don’t worry. It’s just some fancy schmuck from Greed wanting to do business
with us.”
Blitzo stepped over the
window and onto the ramp. Millie and Moxxie followed. Moxxie looked down below
in fright. “Uh, sir, I don’t think this is a good idea!”
“It’ll be fine,” Blitzo
glared. “Now get your asses moving!” He shoved his employees into the
helicopter. Millie and Moxxie sat up in their seats. Millie held a broken
seatbelt in her hands, the metal curved like horns. “Is this thing safe?!” she
called out.
The two green shark
pilots grinned. The leader said, “Don’t worry! We are professionals!”
They crashed through the
building and headed toward the elevator. A vent opened up, with “Elevator
Hangar 3” written below it in white. The helicopter took off into the air. The
sky was now green instead of red and clouded with smog and pollution. They were
in the Greed Ring.
Down below them were the
remains of the Loo-Loo Land theme park. The roller coasters and rides were
broken and charred from the previous fire. The Loo-Loo apple mascot strolled by
a sign that read “under construction” and yellow tape that read “do not
cross.”
An inspector imp held a
clipboard and wore a thick dark green jacket that covered his mouth. He wore a
green wide hat and black boots. He observed as more male imps wearing green
hats and tailcoats carried bags of money over their shoulders. One bag read
“Mammon Logo” on it, as the other bags showed Mammon’s joker-like face on it.
They marched into an old building with a brick and a pile of sludge inside. A
nearby boat was overturned, jutting sideways in the dirty water. Oil drums and
tires were staked in a pile nearby. Underneath a bridge, two male gang imps
poured toxic waste onto the ground from an oil drum, and it spewed green
flames. Another imp drank from another barrel of toxic waste. Not too far away,
a mafia gang of imps grinned as their member stabbed at a tied-up corpse of one
of their members, that leaned against a smashed red car. A leader stood in the
middle, flanked by two imps carrying clubs. The attacking imp them shot the
corpse’s face multiple times for good measure.
Near slime-covered
sailboats was a sign that read, “Welcome to NOTAMAFIA TOWN! No mafia here!
We’re mafia free!”
“Ugh! I hate this
place!” Moxxie stared in disgust at the city buildings and sewage below. Green
neon toxic sewage poured from pipes into a stream near a large factory with
power plants. A small suburban neighborhood was nearby.
“Oh yeah, this is your
old stomping ground isn’t it, Mox?” Blitzo asked.
“Well, like Millie, I
was born in Wrath. My family and I moved to Greed when I was a kid. I grew up
just over there.” He pointed off into the distance. “I’d swore I’d never come
back and…”
Moxxie paused, his eyes
going wide. “Uh…uh…what…what, where are we going?”
The helicopter turned
around and Moxxie grew more anxious.
“What…Blitz…who did you
say this meeting was with?”
“I’m not sure, just some
rich somebody or other who wants to discuss biz at his place.”
The helicopter landed on
a white H on the ground.
The door opened and
Moxxie flinched back in a panic.
“Oh no! No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!”
A large mansion stood
before them, dark smoke fuming through both chimneys. Bullet holes made dents
in the walls and the windows glowed an eerie green. Sharp claw designs hung
over the roof and around the edges of the mansion. Bits of slime covered the
roof as well. Moxxie shivered in fear as Blitzo shoved him forward out of the
helicopter.
“There he is!” called a
voice. It was the same businessman that Blitzo had talked to earlier. He had
Moxxie’s signature white side hair, red face, and pointed jagged stripped imp
horns. He had white spiral-like markings around his eyes. Like Striker and
Valentino, he had a sharp gold tooth. He posed in a navy-blue stripped suit
with thin red vertical stripes and a red necktie. He had a black brimmed hat
with a red band around it, plus a sharp zigzag pointed tail. He was flanked by
a fat green shark wearing a blue and white suit and red necktie. A black-winged
incubus was also wearing a navy-blue hat and suit with thin red stripes. The
incubus had a cigarette in his mouth.
“There’s my boy! Get
over here and give your daddy a hug!”
“Daddy?!” Blitzo and
Millie exclaimed.
“I only let Moxxie call
me that…unless ya pay me!” He laughed and made his way toward the trio.
“Guys,” Moxxie cleared
his throat. “This is my father, Crimson. Sir, this is my boss, Blitz. And my…”
Millie held out her
hand. “Millie! I’m his wife!”
“And what a beautiful
wife you are,” Crimson purred as he kissed Millie’s hand. “Mox, where have you been hiding this pretty
little thang?”
“Oh, I’m sure he
would’ve introduced us…eventually,” Millie mentioned.
“Oh, I’m sure.” Crimson
walked over to Blitzo. “You gotta be Blitz, with the silent “o” right?” They
shook hands. Crimson pulled Blitzo close as they walked. “I’ve heard a lot of
good things about you and your work.”
“Really?” Blitzo asked,
in suspicion. “What kind of shit has Moxxie been spreading about me? I’ll
fucking kill you, Moxxie, don’t you fucking test me!” He glared at Moxxie and
pointed an accusing finger at him. Moxxie flinched.
“No, no! From all over,”
Crimson assured. “Looks like you’re building a bit of a name for yourself here,
kid.”
“Really?” Blitzo
chuckled with a grin, hands on his hips. “Huh. Well, I guess it’s about time
folks recognized my talent.”
Crimson laughed out loud.
“I like your attitude!” He playfully punched Blitzo on the shoulder. “Well, I
hope you’re all hungry. We put together a fabulous dinner for ya.”
Crimson made his way back to the mansion and Blitzo followed.
“Hey, baby, why haven’t
I met your pa before?” Millie asked.
Moxxie fumbled nervously
with his large red bowtie. “Uh well, y’know it’s…it’s just never been a…”
“Hey! You two, move it
before it gets cold,” Crimson called.
“Look, look, Millie, we
can talk about it later,” said Moxxie. Millie took his hand and they followed
Blitzo inside as Crimson smiled at them. Once the imps were inside, Crimson’s
face turned serious. He snapped his fingers and headed inside. His lackeys
followed suit and the incubus closed the door behind him.
0 0 0
Inside the mansion,
Crimson slammed a glass onto the counter. He put ice cubes in it and poured in HellFire
Aged Scotch. Behind him was a large glass cabinet with wine glasses, beer
bottles and a fish head. One of the bottles had a skull on it. The cabinet light
glowed a greedy green. The dark green wallpaper around the manor showed white
designs of shark jaws and dead fish bones.
“So, Blitz, ya always
been a hitman?” Crimson strolled to Blitzo, who sat in a high comfortable
chair.
“No, no, not always,”
Blitzo replied, taking the drink from him. “I was in the circus for a long
time.”
“Show business!” Crimson
exclaimed with both fingers pointing in gun-like gestures. He sat down. “Good
money in that.”
They both grinned at
each other, Crimson taking out his cigar from behind his suit and Blitzo
sipping his drink. Moxxie and Millie sat together on an adjacent couch, looking
visibly uncomfortable. They couldn’t help but notice the array of shark jaws,
bloodied imp horns, spiked collars, and black wings on display like hunting
trophies all around the manor rooms. The round lights overhead and the fire in
the fireplace also glowed green.
Moxxie then spoke up.
“What are we doing here…sir?”
“Moxxie, I raised you
better than that,” Crimson remarked condescendingly, lighting his cigar. “Ya
know there’s no business before dinner. Besides, we’re still waitin’ on one
more.”
With a sudden kick to a
nearby door, a shark barged his way into the house, making an entrance. He was
tall and thin, with crosses around his nostrils, a scar near his eye and black
hair in a mohawk style and a small hat. He also had a white bone above his
groin, long pants, and a dark jacket. His eyes glowed teal green with hypnotic
spirals as he pointed his fingers out in a pose and wiggled.
“Woo-hoo-hoo, what is
up, party people?!” he called.
“Chaz?!” Moxxie and
Millie cried at the same time. Then they looked at each other and pointed.
“Wait, what?!”
“You know him?!” Moxxie
asked, flabbergasted.
Millie groaned and
slapped her forehead. “You remember that “ex” I was talking about?”
Chaz walked over and
hugged Moxxie and Millie from behind the couch, much to their discomfort and
surprise.
“Looks like I got two
big sex reunions today!” Chaz bragged before adding in a sing-song voice,
“How lucky am I?!”
“Did you date him,
too?!” Millie asked Moxxie.
“Ha, yeah,” Chaz
smirked. “No big deal, but I usually bone half the people in any room I’m in…”
Blitzo spat, “Are you
fucking kidding me?! There’s someone who’s fucked both of you?!”
Moxxie pushed himself
out of Chaz’s arms. “It was a long time ago.”
“But I still remember it
like it was yesterday,” Chaz began. “You, a fledging mafioso! Me, the dashing
and extremely sexy muscle! It was like…” he spoke fondly, his eyes gleaming,
“…it was written in the stars!”
Blitzo scoffed, his
drink clinking. “Ha! Moxxie in the mafia! That’s fucking rich!”
Blitzo then looked
around. He spotted a framed picture of Crimson shaking the hand of a mob boss
imp, wearing glasses, a suit, and a rose. On the mantle near white candles with
emerald flames, he spotted a larger picture of Moxxie and his family. The frame
was decorated with four snail shells with eyes. Crimson sat proudly in his
chair as if it were a throne. Little Moxxie stood by his father, wearing light
blue clothing. He held his tail in fear, looking like he was about to cry.
Closer to the shadows was Moxxie’s mafia mother, Rosa. She wore white heeled
shoes with pink bows on them, a Latin-American-style dress/pollera with blue
ruffles and red stripes, and a white shirt. She held a small bouquet of flowers
in her hands and had a red flower on her head of long dark hair. Her horns were
black and straight. She wore hoop earrings and a necklace. Like Moxxie, she was
originally from Wrath.
The door burst open and
a thick loan shark with a blue sweater growled and dragged in a body bag with a
dead mafia shark demon inside. More loan sharks stood in the room, holding
their guns as Crimson grinned.
“Oh shit,” Blitzo
remarked, coming to the realization.
“You’ve never told me
this before,” a concerned Millie said to Moxxie.
Moxxie lowered his eyes.
“I-I don’t really like to talk about this part of my life. I first saw Chaz at
my induction in the family. Our eyes met from across the room. And there was
just something about him…something that was…magnetic!”
After Moxxie told his
story, he quoted from the Titanic, his face half in shadow, “It’s been
eighty-four years.”
Blitzo narrowed his
eyes. “Isn’t that from that ‘boat’ movie?”
Millie looked skeptical.
“Did any of that stuff actually happen?”
“Oh yeah!” Chaz added,
licking his lips. “Buddy skipped over the jizz covered parts.”
Moxxie glared at Chaz,
then turned back to Millie. “Anyway. Things changed when we went on a heist
together…”
After Moxxie had
finished the rest of his story, he said, “Once I got out, I never looked back.”
Millie growled at Chaz
again.
“At least Moxxie didn’t
have to worry about Chaz being rough in the sack and him roaming his eyes upon
other nearby lady imps,” Millie muttered in anger. “Not to mention hittin’ on
my sister…”
Chaz glanced with a
nervous laugh, pulling at his jacket collar. “Well, heh, like you said, it was
a long time ago.”
Millie bared her sharp
yellow fangs, flames in her eyes. She spoke in a demonic voice, foaming at the
mouth, “I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU!”
She brandished her
dagger and swiped at Chaz. “Whoa, the fuck?! Crazy bitch!” Chaz cowered behind
Crimson’s armchair.
Millie took the dagger
out of the couch and lunged toward him.
“Hey, hey, hey!” Moxxie
and Blitzo held her back. “Hold on a second!” Crimson had his hands up.
“You’re gonna die,
bitch!” Millie spat at Chaz, pointing her weapon.
Everyone then froze as
an imp with black hair dressed in a maid uniform announced in a low Italian
voice, “Dinner is served.”
0 0 0
Dinner consisted of the
finest mortadella sausage meat, (Rosa’s old recipe), focaccia
bread on the side, green peas, and potatoes. Roses were in a vase at the center
of the rectangular table. Moxxie held his fork and stared sadly at his meal.
Blitzo glanced around, while Millie shot Chaz a murderous look as she cut her
meat. Crimson downed a shot of sambuca, not paying attention to the
awkwardness. Purple and yellow seaweed stood off to the side of the room. They
all sat in red fan-like chairs.
Blitzo bluntly remarked,
“So, this is aggressively uncomfortable.”
“I suppose you wanna
know why you’re here,” Crimson began.
Blitzo raised an
eyebrow. “Yeah, so what gives? I mean, you know we kill people on Earth, right?
We don’t normally do contracts for locals so, if you wanna do business with us,
you gotta…”
Crimson held up a hand.
“I don’t wanna do business with I.M.P.” He pointed with his fork. “I wanna do
business with Moxxie.”
Moxxie nearly jumped out
of his seat. “Me?!”
“Yeah, kid! I summoned
I.M.P. to be sure you’d show.” Crimson briefly held up his knife and then took
his glass of wine in one hand. “Because…well…we’re bringin’ Chaz into the
family.” Chaz grinned smugly.
“What?” Moxxie asked. “Since
when can just anyone join the family?”
Crimson drank his wine
with a scowl. “Come on, Mox. You had responsibilities here that I had to
pick up once you left! Now Chaz is going to lighten the load.”
Moxxie clenched his
fists in anger as Blitzo ate. “Wait, I thought you always hated his guts.”
“Well, I don’t know if I
exactly ‘hated’ him…”
“You called him a ‘friendless
horse-fucker’ and said we lived a ‘shitty’ lifestyle when we dated.”
“Yeah, well I was
wrong,” Crimson shrugged half-heartedly. “You’ve been gone a long time, Mox. A
man can change. And so has Chaz.”
“Yeah,” Chaz added.
“I’ve grown. Matured. And recently came into millions!” He held up his fork proudly.
He shrugged. “But ya know, mostly the mature thing.”
Chaz burped after
finishing his meal. Crimson gave him a look, and he lowered his eyes in
apology.
Blitzo rolled his eyes
and held his hands forward. “Ohh, okay, okay, so the ‘friendless horse-fucker’ over
here gets a little moolah and suddenly it’s worth wasting our time
over?”
Chaz leaned back. “Well,
I’m the whole ‘package’, if you know what I mean!” He pointed at his crotch
with both fingers. He did a song-song voice, “I’ve got a big dick!” as the imps
glared at him. All the plates were now empty.
“But what does any of
this hafta to do with Moxxie?” Millie inquired.
Crimson put down his
utensils and wiped his face after finishing his meal. “There’s gonna be a
ceremony tomorrow.” He held up his glass of wine. “Moxxie here is going to
officially release his holdings in the organization. Then you can get back to
ignoring your family to your heart’s content.” He took another sip.
Millie scowled and stood
up. “Maybe he wouldn’t ‘ignore his family’ if they didn’t force him to rub
elbows with a no-good shark-tooth fuck face!” She pointed her dagger at Chaz’s
neck and he flinched.
“’Ey, look, everybody,
relax,” Crimson said. “I know tensions have been high tonight. Say, why don’t
you stay here and get some rest? We’ll have the ceremony tomorrow and then you
will be free to leave. I have your rooms all prepared.”
“Yes, sir,” Moxxie
muttered.
“Mox?” Millie asked.
“And Mox, I even went
through the trouble of making the house more to…your kind of liking,” added
Crimson.
Crimson pressed a button
under a slot in his armchair. A horde of rainbow dildos popped up from behind
the walls as the trophies on the walls flipped over. Four purple ones were
above Moxxie’s disgusted face. More purple dildos popped up on the chairs and orange
ones came from behind the flowers. One big red one appeared in the fireplace.
Another orange one popped from behind the seaweed plant. A yellow hanging ball
opened up, releasing penis-shaped rainbow confetti, a trumpet “ta-da” sound and
a banner that read “CONGRADULATIONS, GAY!” in rainbow letters. Even the
chandelier candles were phallic.
Moxxie was furious.
Millie made a disgusted face at the bouncing dildos on the chairs.
“Wait…what…what do you
think I’m into?!” Moxxie exclaimed.
Crimson shrugged. “What?
This is the kind of shit gays like, right?”
Millie growled again
with a look of disgust, muttering curse words.
“Okay, first off, dad,
I’m bisexual,” said Moxxie.
“Yeah, gay. A frocio!”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,
I’m not a faggot!” Moxxie pushed a purple dildo away. “Secondly, I don’t know a
single person of any sexuality who would enjoy this!”
Blitzo and Chaz laughed
out loud and cheered.
“Ah, there’s dicks in
the walls! Oh, that’s fucking hilarious!” Blitzo exclaimed.
“My kind of decorations!”
Chaz added with a snicker.
“See, they like it,”
Crimson shrugged.
Chaz downed his glass of
wine. Moxxie, Chaz, Millie, and Blitzo stood up. A tall green serpent-like
shark with red hypnotic eyes moved toward the door, showing the imps to their
rooms upstairs.
“A moment, Moxxie!”
Crimson barked. Moxxie froze in fear on the spot.
“Just give me a minute,
Millie,” said Moxxie, as he inched back into the dining room. “I’ll be there.”
Chaz reached out to grab
Millie, but she snapped her teeth at him. Millie looked at Moxxie in concern
before the loan shark closed the door.
A tense silence filled
the room, Crimson sitting with his hands folded.
“So, you think you’re
too good for this family now?”
“What?” Moxxie asked.
Crimson beckoned Moxxie
with a finger. “C’mere.”
Moxxie walked nervously
forward around the table.
“I-I don’t understand…”
Crimson slapped Moxxie
hard in the face and the imp fell to the floor.
“You think you’re just
gonna get to walk away from this family and never come back?!”
Moxxie sat up, holding
his scratched cheek.
Crimson pointed at him
with an accusing finger. “You’re dead wrong, Mox! As a matter of fact…”
He yanked Moxxie up by
his collar. “…the only thing you’re right about is that obnoxious piss-stain
can’t get made! Not unless he marries in!”
“’Marries?’ But, but who
would he…?”
“Who do you think?! This
family needs that money and it’s about time your pathetic ass was useful for
something!”
“Sir,” Moxxie began.
“I’m already married. I-I can’t…”
“Poco Stronzo! You
think I give a shit about your stupid ragazza? C’mon, Mox!”
“Look at me, cagna,”
Crimson sneered, grabbing Moxxie’s face. “One way or another, you’re gonna to
do what I fucking say. Don’t cross me. Now get to bed Moxxie. You have a big
day tomorrow.”
“Yes, sir,” Moxxie
whimpered.
“Oh, and Mox,” Crimson
added, eyes narrowed in malice. Moxxie fearfully backed up toward the double
doors. “If you ever talk back to me again, you and that pretty little thang
ya brought here will be going home in boxes. Cofanetti. Capeesh?”
“Yes, sir,” Moxxie
whimpered again, before reaching for the doorknob and rushing up the stairs.
0 0 0
Moxxie made it to the
top of the stairs, holding the railing that looked like fishing spears. A tall
green shark demon leered down at him and mentioned to the door.
“Wait!” Millie called
from the far end. “How come we aren’t…”
“Crimson wants you all
to stay in separate rooms,” said the shark.
“Why?” Millie asked in
disbelief. “Moxxie?”
She took his hands.
“It’s just one night,
Millie,” Moxxie said, somberly. “It’s okay.” Moxxie smiled half-heartedly.
“Mox?” Millie asked,
concerned. “Are you okay?”
Moxxie let go. “I’m
fine. Please, don’t worry, sweetie.” They clasped hands again.
“You know you can tell
me anything,” said Millie. “Right?”
Moxxie glanced around,
eyeing the shark.
“Right, yes, everything’s
fine.”
Millie put her hand on
the side of Moxxie’s head. “We’re partners, Mox.” Moxxie lowered her hand.
“It’s just my dad. It’s okay, really.”
Moxxie kissed Millie’s
hand. “It’ll be over tomorrow.”
“Okay. I love you.” They
kissed.
“I love you too,” Moxxie
finished, as they separated.
“Good night,” Moxxie
said sadly, as he lowered his hand. Moxxie went into the room and turned on the
light.
“What the?!” he bellowed
in anger. “Fucking why?!” He put his hand over his face.
The bedroom walls were
covered with portraits of Chaz in sexual positions and poses. In several, he
was grinning and shirtless, one of them, he had his tongue out and was smoking
in another. In the bathroom, a shirtless portrait of Chaz stared at Moxxie and
read “Nice cock!”
Moxxie washed his face,
glumly, then went back into the bedroom. He pressed a switch and Chaz rose up
from a hole in the floor.
“Like what I’ve done
with the place?” Chaz mused. He lounged on a heart-shaped bed with a pink cover
and two headboards shaped like purple hearts with gold trim. There were round
pillows on the bed and pink heart pillows. Several cans had “lube” labeled on
them in white.
Moxxie turned around. “Uh…just
get out of here!”
“Come on, Mox!”
Chaz turned on a switch
shaped like a pink butt plug. “CUM ZONE” lit up in neon white letters in the
center. A pink neon arrow with hearts and “FUCK HIM!” glowed pink on one wall
and “OH YEAH! HAVE SEX WITH ME!” glowed on the other side.
“We used to have so much
fun here! Remember?” Chaz pulled an angry Moxxie close. Moxxie shoved him away.
“I’m married, Chaz! And
even if I weren’t, I would never…”
“Never what?” Chaz
asked. “Take you to Cum Town again?” He poked his finger through a hole in his hand
for emphasis.
Moxxie crossed his arms
in an X shape and seethed in disgust. “You are so gross! Just leave me alone!”
Chaz just grinned. He
poked Moxxie in the face, reached down toward his groin and spun him in a
dance. “I know what you want most, Moxxie, Poxxie.” He pointed two fingers
playfully. “How about a sexually charged…”
He spoke in a high
sing-song voice, “…musical number! Hey! You always love those.”
Chaz pressed a pink
button labeled “Sextremely HAWT Sex Music” in white. A disco ball appeared and
lit up. The room turned pink, violet, and blue as electronic jazz music played.
Chaz’s voice autotuned as he sang into the microphone.
“Ow!
Woah-oh, hoo, woah-oh,
yeah-yeah!
It’s Chaz time!
Moxxie, I see you
lookin’ at me, lookin’ at you
Wondering when I’m gonna
crack you open like a walnut
And the answer is soon
(walnut)”
Chaz blew smoke from his
vape into Moxxie’ face. He grabbed Moxxie and pulled him into a dance. He poked
his head and stroked his face with a finger.
“Now I’m feelin’ what
you’re feelin’ and I’m feelin’ that you wanna feel my feelings
And fee-the feel-you
feel me? (sax-o-phone)
Yeah, so let me get a
little something off my chest, while I blow a hot emotional load
Onto yours”
Chaz tossed his hat into
Moxxie’s face.
“Moxxie, feeling foxy
Wanna get a good taste
of your boxxy
Well I got two tickets
to pleasure land (oh baby)
I’m now here to have
your wayhey, yeah, with my sexual bod-ay-ay
With my sensual body
yeah-yeah-yeah, (so naughty)
So long, yeah!”
Chaz touched and tickle
Moxxie’s butt and pulled him uncomfortably close. He posed shirtless on the
bed, moving his hand up his body.
“BIG DICKS” glowed from
behind him, hearts on the i’s.
Chaz then threw his trousers
into Moxxie’s face. Moxxie then growled and shoved him out the door. Chaz then
stood outside the door, shirtless and confused in black boxers with a white
anchor on them.
Moxxie slid onto the
floor and sobbed, head in his hands.
Millie paced back and
forth in her room. She heard a knock on the door.
“Moxxie?” she perked up
and ran to the door to open it. To her dismay, Chaz posed with a sharp-toothed
grin.
“What do you
want?!” she barked.
Chaz swayed into her
room and began to sing “Whoa, whoa…”, but Millie held her jagged dagger to his
throat.
“Damn it, this usually
works,” Chaz breathed in surprise. He fell and Millie slammed the door.
Chaz stood up and
wiggled both eyebrows playfully as he came across the third door. It opened.
“Hey there, good
looking,” Chaz mused flirtatiously.
Blitzo grinned, too. Now
was the chance for him to find out what Chaz was up to!
“Oh, I was wondering how
long it would take for you to make a pass,” mused Blitzo.
“Does that mean you’re…down
to clown?”
“Yeah, what, you’d think
I would violate my friend’s trust by sleeping with their ex, especially one who
fucked them over the way you did?”
“I’ll show you all of
the things they liked in the sack,” Chaz sang.
“Deal!” said Blitzo and
pulled a grinning Chaz into the room.
Blitzo and Chaz soon had
rough sex in the other room.
“Ew! The fuck! Ew!”
Blitzo cried.
Moxxie tossed and turned
in bed, annoyed by the noise and grunts. He briefly put a pillow over his head
and then scrolled through his cell phone. His phone read “I don’t cry” on the
back. He checked his hell Facebook account. His profile came up labeled “Moxxie
Knolastname” and a red and black pistol as his banner. His profile read:
“Assassin at I.M.P. Lives in Imp City, Pride. From Greed. Married to Millie
Knolastname.” Another tab read “Afterlife events.”
Moxxie’s Facebook
friends were Blitzo, Millie, Randall, Oliver, and Steve. “Told Randall to break
a leg, then he did! LOL! Guess who’s starring tonight instead?”
Moxxie then browsed
through the many pictures of him and Millie. Blitzo got close to the camera in
one picture, much to Moxxie’s annoyance. Millie posed with a downward sword in
another. A couple pictures showed Millie posing. Tears welled in Moxxie’s eyes,
and he wiped them away. He looked at a picture of both of them smiling at a
restaurant together, holding hands. Moxxie had a dark collar shirt and Millie
wore a black dress that revealed her shoulder with a heart tattoo on it. She
had a pink flower in her thick black hair. He swiped right and another picture
showed Millie smiling at Moxxie in bed next to him, Moxxie covering his eyes
with a smile. Next, Moxxie and Millie were smiling together, holding mugs with
the Phantom of the Opera mask icons on them. The last one showed Moxxie and
Millie kissing each other at their wedding. They were on a sunny balcony.
Moxxie wore a white suit with a bowtie and Millie wore a dress with a black top
and lavender-colored ruffles down toward the bottom. She had flowers in her
long neat hair and a bouquet of colorful flowers of pink, red, purple and white
in her hand.
Moxxie sighed and buried
his face into his pillow. He could get the wedding with Chaz over with and not
face the wrath of his father. After all, Moxxie once wanted to marry Chaz. But
the cost of losing Millie was too great…and things were different.
Millie…his beautiful,
loving wife, cared for him wholeheartedly. She didn’t care that he wasn’t seen
as “macho enough” to her family…she wholeheartedly embraced his personality and
love of theater. In her smile and her face, he was reminded of his mother. Rosa
had radiated feminine love and at the same time, formidable strength and power,
just like Millie.
Moxxie took several deep
breaths.
His father had taken his
mother from him. He was not going to let the same thing happen to his remaining
family. Moxxie then realized deep inside himself, underneath all his fears…he’d
rather face death than lose the one he loved.
“Guess I’ll have to do
this alone,” he thought. His yellow eyes glowed with a newfound determination.
0 0 0
Meanwhile in the other
bedroom, a nude Chaz and Blitzo were passed out on the bed after a wild sexual
session. Condom wrappers and their clothes littered the floor. Chaz muttered, “Oh,
I got a big dick,” in his sleep. Chaz rolled over and pilled the black jacket
toward him, exposing Blitzo to the stale air. But Blitzo wasn’t asleep.
Quietly, he lifted himself out of bed. He put on his brown horse boxers. He
picked up Chaz’s jacket and draped it over himself, his cloven hooves tapping
the floor. He fiddled with the pockets, finding nothing.
“Okay, fucker, nobody
who’s that bad in bed can score two hotties that easily. I know you gotta be
hiding something.”
Blitzo glanced at Chaz’s
long sharp tail that moved. He saw the bone that was on Chaz’s pants. He lifted
up the bone and a label with Mammon’s joker-like label read “Mammon Suit
Rental.” He pulled out a pair of car keys, clicked it with a smirk, and snuck
out of the bedroom. Blitzo’s silhouette walked down the path outside the manor.
Blitzo looked around and
came to a parking lot. He saw three cars, a black one, a tan one, and a magenta
convertible with pink flames decorated on it and sharp arrow headlights. He
pressed the button and four red lights flashed from the middle car and a chirp
sounded. “HGECOK (Huge cock) was on the license plate. Blitzo unlocked the car
and peered inside. There was a black shark hanging from the front mirror and an
octopus-like figure wearing a dress on the dashboard. He lifted the center
compartment between the seats, only to find a bunch of junk. He opened the
glove compartment and found more junk.
In his hands were
several pieces of paper. One letter to Chaz read: “EVICTION NOTICE: Listen you
asshole, have the fucking house by the 6th of this month, or we will
kill you. We do NOT care about you and your huge cock. Fuck you.” There were
several bills.
Blitzo popped open the
trunk to see more junk and trash inside. He saw a tire, tickets, bags, empty
beer bottles, and a bowl. He reached into a white sack and tossed aside a candy
wrapper and a bottle of “wet lube.” At last, he found a crinkled stained piece
of paper that had a list in black font and a dick drawing on it.
“CHAZ’S MASTUR PLAN: 1.
Rent Suit. 2. Convince Crim I’m rich. 3. Marry Moxxie to get into family. 4???
5. Profit! $$$
Blitzo seethed. “Oh, fuck
that! No one fucks with M&M’s marriage but me!”
A green syringe suddenly
struck Blitzo’s neck. The imp cried out as black blood spurted out. Blitzo
groaned and collapsed forward into the trunk. Chaz snickered as he closed the
trunk door. He grinned, eyes glowing teal, “Sorry babe, you’re not the only junk
in my trunk!” Then he sighed, “Damn it, that was not a good one!”
Cars pulled up to the
front of the manor outside. Crimson grinned as he poured drops of black
poisonous liquid into a mug. The drops blended with the brown hot liquid and
the mug had a dead fish design on it. A shark mafia member poured death black
coffee for Crimson. Crimson grinned until Chaz got close to Moxxie’s spiked
mug. Annoyed, he shooed Chaz away with a hand and pointed at an adjacent seat.
Chaz shrugged and began to angrily speak, but a tired Moxxie entered and he
sulked off.
“Hey, hey, the man of
the hour!” Crimson declared. “You ready to get started?”
“Wait, where’s Blitz?”
Moxxie asked. “And where’s Millie?”
Chaz put a finger to his
chin in thought, his eyes shifting. “I think I saw him head outside. He said
something about ‘needing some fresh air’ or something.”
“Why don’t you grab him
so we can get moving?” Crimson asked with a grin.
Moxxie took a deep
breath and walked toward his father.
“What you looking so
glum for, kid?” Crimson asked. “It’s your wedding day! Best day of your life!”
Moxxie paused and looked
at Chaz who gave him a sharp-toothed smirk.
Moxxie’s brows furrowed,
and he closed his eyes. “I’m not doing it.”
“What was that?” Crimson
asked. “I couldn’t make it out over the sound of you being a whiny cagna!”
Moxxie slammed his hands
on the table and stood up. “I said, I’m not doing it, sir. I’ve spent my whole
life being afraid of you, but I’m not giving up the only good thing I’ve ever
had just so you can keep your fragile little sense of control over everything.
Millie is a good woman, a better woman than I deserve, and there’s nothing that
scares me more than hurting her. Not even you.”
Crimson locked eyes with
the red-eyed shark and nodded. The mafia shark crept behind Moxxie.
“I’m leaving, dad. And
if you or Herpes the Clown here…”
“Hey!” Chaz growled.
“…try to stop me, you’ll
learn firsthand just how good I’ve gotten at my job!” Moxxie got into his
father’s face as he spoke.
Rough shark hands pulled
Moxxie’s head away, holding him down. Moxxie screamed as the other hand shocked
Moxxie with a taser. Moxxie banged his head on the table and crumpled to the
ground.
“Now take care of the
others,” Crimson ordered his men.
0 0 0
The wedding was taking
place in the mansion courtyard. The rows of seats were covered with teal cloth
and a pink aisle was littered with small flowers. White-teal round string
lights decorated the walls. An archway over the podium displayed pink flowers.
Only a few people were in the audience, three tough muscular mafia sharks, one
of them smoking a cigar.
“Is everybody here?”
asked the tan-green hammerhead shark priest. He wore black robes with red trim.
A red upside down cross was on his tall hat. His eyes glowed yellow and he held
a book with an upside-down red cross on the cover.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah!”
Crimson declared with a sinister grin. “Don’t worry about it, let’s get this
thing rolling, eh?”
A towering Chaz stood
nearby in a dark suit with a red bowtie and the white bone on his pants.
Crimson’s tall shark mafia stood guard behind him. Crimson held a struggling
Moxxie who had his hands tied behind his back. Moxxie was wearing a white
wedding dress and over his mouth was a gray gag with a red smile of fangs drawn
on it.
“Aww,” Chaz complained.
“You told me all the chairs would be filled!”
Crimson sighed in
annoyance and pulled out a remote. He pushed a button and bouncing purple dildos
popped out onto all the seats. Smiley faces were drawn on them. A big mafia
shark and a thin shark jumped in surprise in their seats. Then the big shark
nodded fast after the other shark gave him a “You down to fuck, later?” look.
“Satisfied?” Crimson
asked.
“Fuck yes!” replied a
pleased Chaz.
The priest spoke. “Will
you, Chazwick Thurman, take Moxxie Kno…last…name to be your lawfully wedded
husband?”
“Oh yeah,” Chaz mused.
“And do you,
Moxxie…whatever, take Chazwick Thurman to be your lawfully wedded…uh…”
Moxxie struggled to free
himself from his father’s grip, but Crimson pulled him back. Crimson forcefully
moved Moxxie’s head in nodding motions.
“Look at that! He’s just so fucking happy to be here!”
0 0 0
Millie paced back and
forth in the parking lot, looking for Moxxie. Millie was about to leave when
she saw the Chaz’s car trunk shake. She pulled out her dagger and dug into the
cracks to get it open. Blitzo lay on his back, arm on his head.
“Oh, Millie, you found
me,” he slurred. “Who’s your friend?”
“Friend?”
Millie’s instincts
activated as she sensed two shark goons grinning, about to attack her from
behind. In a flash, she sliced open the chest of one of the thinner sharks to
her left and ducked under the thick shark’s arms, trying to grab her. Millie
leaped over the big shark, landed behind him, and with a yell, crushed his head
with the trunk door. Black demon blood spilled everywhere. The shark’s head was
in Blitzo’s hands. Millie helped Blitzo out of the trunk and he shook the blood
off.
“What is going on?!”
asked Millie.
“That seductive
dick-hole is trying to marry Moxxie and he’s not even rich!” Blitzo responded.
“Moxxie!” Millie called
in a panic.
Millie pulled Blitzo
forward in urgency. Millie raced down the path to the front of the house, but
to her dismay, a metal shutter closed over the door. More metal shutters closed
over the windows and over the gate to the courtyard.
“Everything’s locked
down!” Millie cried. “How are we gonna get in?!”
Blitzo pulled out a
spare key from his pocket and came up with a plan. He pulled Millie into Chaz’s
car and turned the key into the ignition hole. The RPM dial moved up. Blitzo
pressed a button for the radio station and various stations popped up as he
switched them around.
“MAMMON CHANNEL ™”
played the Loo-Loo Land theme song.
Blitzo switched to
“Station 69.” Then to “Lusty Tunes.” Then to “Station 66.6.” Then to “Station
80.085 (Boobs)”. Finally, he found the perfect one: “WRATH’S #1 F*CK YOU UP
HITS.”
Blitzo clicked his
seatbelt and moved the stick to reverse.
“Buckle up, Millie,”
Blitzo grinned. “We’re doing a Shrek!”
They backed the car up
at a high speed…and crashed through the garden wall. Smoke fumed from the car
and the headlights looked like angry white eyes.
Doing a Shrek quote,
Blitzo stumbled out and shouted, “I object!” before collapsing.
Millie leaped from the
damaged car and landed on her feet in a fighting stance, one palm on the
ground. Her eyes glowed a menacing yellow.
“You want my
husband…you’re going to have to fucking kill me!”
Crimson rolled his eyes,
snapped his fingers, and pointed at Millie. At least a dozen of Crimson’s men
readied themselves to attack.
A rock song called
“Crashin’ A Motherfuckin’ Wedding” blared from the Wrath radio station. Millie
screamed the song out loud to Chaz as she attacked the mafia sharks, sending a
clear message to him.
(Ooh, oh-ooh, oh-ooh,
ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, oh-ooh)
“Oh I ain’t a stranger
to your thorns
Think I’m a damsel, now
you get the horns
Lay low, my dear, I’ll
get you outta here
I ain’t a damsel, I’ll
make that clear (She’ll make that clear)
(Ooh) Just try to stop
the reckoning that’s comin’
(Oh-ooh) Lay down your
head boy, can’t you hear those beats a drummin’
(Oh-ooh) Be it as it
may, by death do us part
(Oh-ooh) Think fast
cause momma’s gonna tear out your heart
(Momma’s gonna tear out
your heart) (Oh,oh-yeah-yeah)
(Momma’s gonna tear out
your heart) (Oh)
(Soon you’ll have no
heart) (Oh-ooh)
(Ooh) Giddy up, little
bitch boy, you’re dead
(Oh-ooh) Giddy up,
little bitch boy, you’re dead
(Oh-ooh) You tried to
take him like you didn’t know
(Oh-ooh) He was mine,
and taken, now reap what you sow
(Giddy up) (Giddy up)
(Giddy up) (Ooh)
(Reap what you sow)
(Reap what you sow) (Oh-ooh)
(Oh-ooh) You tried to
take him, like you didn’t know
(Oh-ooh) He was mine,
and taken, now reap what you sow”
Millie pounced in the
air, claws out. She landed on a shark’s face and tore off the skin from the
shark’s upper mouth and face. She then ripped open the jaws and turned to face
another goon. The shark man gasped as Millie climbed toward his head and tore
out his shark skull with one hand. With the shark spine, she attacked another
thin green shark, wrapping it around his neck and choking him before diving her
dagger into his face.
Millie jumped onto a
chair, dodging a bullet. She spun through the air and sliced the shooter shark
clean in half with her knife. Another shark leaped at her, but she spun him
around and slammed him onto the ground. She tore out his teeth and broke apart
the jaws to use as weapons. She used the jaws to crunch on the arm of another
long-haired shark demon wearing a suit. She maneuvered the shark’s gun to fire
at another shark mafia member, then proceeded to shoot the longhaired demon in
the face. An eye hung out. Everyone looked on in horror as Millie chewed on the
shark demon’s blue heart like a ravenous feline and spat it out.
More mafia sharks
cackled at her, surrounding her, but Millie stood ready with her weapon. She
spotted their reflections in her blade. She spun around and stabbed at the
smaller demons. The larger shark grabbed her arm as Millie tossed another shark
aside. She spun around and ripped off her captor’s arm and face. Another demon
got stabbed in the face as well.
“She’s a dame! She’s a
broad!” Crimson yelled to his men. “Get her!”
One demon hung from the
archway by his entrails. Crimson tore the demon down and released the intestine
noose. He shoved the shark demon forward…only for the demon to get cut into
sushi by Millie. Another lackey fell on top of Crimson.
Meanwhile, Millie had
forced a dildo in another shark’s mouth and gored his eyes out. A shark grabbed
hold of her throat and the struggled, until Millie shoved a dildo into his face
then right into his butt. A stab to the neck finished him off. Millie narrowly
avoided another bullet fired by a shark behind her. She grabbed a dildo,
walking on top of the chairs and swatted the bullets away as she twirled it.
She batted the bullet back to him and it blew up in his face. She fought with a
mafia imp demon, knocking his knife away and slapping his face with her
tail. She used the dildo to trip him
from under his feet… and he got skewered from the dildo poles.
WHAM!
A big shark hit Millie
with a chair and sent her backwards into a car.
Blitzo covered for her,
holding a crowbar. “Fuck boy again!”
As Blitzo was fighting
the incubus, Millie shoved a red canister of gasoline into the incubus’ mouth.
As a fat shark approached, Millie spun Blitzo around and he skewered the shark
with his horns, sending black blood everywhere. After drop-kicking the fat
shark, she aimed a pistol at the incubus and fired. He instantly exploded.
The priest closed his
book and left with two pointed fingers, “Fuck this, I’m outta here.”
Millie stood over the
thick muscular shark, shoved a mafia shark into his mouth, then crushed them
both with her elbow. As the thick shark got up, she wrapped a string of lights
around his neck. She hopped into the car and stepped on the gas. The car zoomed
forward, carrying the choking screaming shark behind it. Blitzo smiled with a
double thumbs up. The lights exploded and the car created flames across the
courtyard. The chairs were smashed to pieces as Millie drove through them. Her
teeth were bared in a menacing sneer as she drove forward at full speed toward
Crimson, Moxxie, and Chaz.
Millie slammed on the
brakes and got out of the car as smoke filled the air. Millie punched another
shark rushing at her. She cracked her pointed tail like a whop and stared
directly at Crimson.
Crimson backed up as Millie
tore off the gag and freed Moxxie’s hands. Millie and Moxxie danced together,
and Millie used a pistol to fire at more sharks in the distance.
“Reminds me of our
engagement,” Millie said to Moxxie, as she enjoyed the slaughtering fun.
Moxxie’s eyes sparkled
as he stared at his heroine wife. “Indeed. Can I please marry you again?”
Millie grinned with a
wink and kissed him on the cheek. “Don’t mind if…I do.”
Millie turned to
Crimson. “This ass is mine!” Millie slapped Moxxie’s butt and carried him away
over her shoulder. Moxxie’s face flushed and he grinned in pleasure and relief.
Chaz outstretched his
arm in panic. “Hey what about my…”
Millie silenced him with
a dildo in his mouth.
Blitzo grinned and
called out to Crimson, “By the way, y’all should probably know that Chaz isn’t
even rich! Okay, check his car! He just played you like a fucking rube!”
Crimson’s eyebrow
twitched as he folded his arms.
“Later losers!” Blitzo
hollered as he tossed the car keys to the ground and was lifted up by Millie.
They dashed behind a wall and got into the helicopter. The banner from the
helicopter had “Just Married” crossed out in red and instead read “We’re
Married Bitch!”
Chaz struggled and eventually
got the dildo removed from his throat, drool from his mouth. Crimson slowly
turned his head to Chaz, in an ominous fashion. Chaz laughed nervously with a shrug,
his eyes full of fear.
The I.M.P. crew soon
made it back to their office. Loona glared at them and shrugged as if to say,
“Where the hell have you been?!” Moxxie was wearing his white wedding dress,
Millie’s clothes were stained with black blood and Blitzo posed in Chaz’s
jacket. They hopped out of the helicopter through the hole and the flying
vehicle crashed with an explosion below. Moxxie and Mille gave each other a
tearful hug.
“Millie, thank you for
saving me,” said Moxxie. “You’re amazing.”
They let go. Millie
said, “Next time, just tell me if your dad is a psychopath. I can handle it.”
Blitzo pulled them
together in a hug. “Well, I’m glad everything ended up okay. Good to know we
both have daddy issues.” He ruffled Moxxie’s white hair.
“And uh…our moms…”
Moxxie began. “Let’s just say Millie is incredibly lucky. Her mom is still alive.”
Millie’s eyes looked
down in guilt. “Mox, I’m sure your mom would be very proud of you. For standin’
up to your pa like that.”
“I guess so,” he said.
“Millie…you remind me of her…her name was Rosa.” He turned to Blitzo. “Who were
your parents, Blitz?”
“Cash Buckzo, my asshole
father. Tilla was my mother. Taught me everything in the circus. But ya know,
lets’ talk sentimental later. I’m just pleased that I got to plow the
ex-boyfriend of both of you! Isn’t that great!” He hugged them tighter. “Now we
are all connected, now we all fucked the same guy!” Millie rolled her eyes
while Moxxie looked annoyed. Loona still didn’t care.
Back at the manor,
Crimson hoisted up Chaz’s shark jaws onto the wall, “Chaz Thurman” was
displayed on a plaque below the trophy. His shadow revealed a menacing horned
monster.
Beaten by a wild imp and
his own traitorous son. Dozens of his men killed. Chaz, the sleazy conman, now
dead by his hand. It wouldn’t be long before his business would fail. And a
failed business would lead to a failed existence.
Since his son had almost
destroyed his legacy, there was no use for him anymore. He was only a wimpy
burden that had to…
Crimson remembered
dumping the bodies of his men into the lake…
…sleep with the fishes.
With a vengeful growl,
Crimson tossed a knife toward a portrait. The knife tore into the forehead of a
fearful baby Moxxie…
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