Rolando Reacts to Ghostf***ers

 

“Oh, it’s a human. Some mortal randomly coming here to this null void. Let’s cut to the chase. I’m Rolando. And I was just killed not too long ago by a duo of lowborn firetoad imps. I was THIS close to feasting on both of them, but that Bethany Ghostdicker electrocuted me in my own element! Now I can’t possess mortals for Leviathan anymore and I’m stuck in…well I don’t really know where I am. Sinners and hellborn who die in Hell become food for the dark goddess Roo, but I was killed on Earth so…I guess I’m double dead in this darkness. The worst part? I had my glory for one time and now I’ll never be able to get my revenge! I’m stuck replaying my own thoughts, forever! Can you even imagine how INSUFFERABLE THIS IS?! What good is being an infestor demon when you have no one to infest?!”

 

*Sighs*

 

“You still here? You waiting for me to peer into your mind and torment you? I would if I could, but now I’m the one who’s trapped. There’s really nothing to do here other than to brood over my defeat. Hmmm…I suppose I could react to the so called Helluva Boss episodes…though they should’ve been all about me. Reduced to being a one-time Halloween scare! Pathetic! I am not going to accept being a one-off character, but reacting will be the closest I get to being back in my world. So as the most fearsome formidable foe in this show, I’ll start with the one episode I stared in, ‘Ghostfuckers.’ I’ve got some popcorn right here, a real titilator this one is. Let’s begin.”

Assassin Millie sat alone at a bar, taking a slow sip of her drink.

 

 

Rolando: “Well, this looks like an interesting place. But I know it’s not in Envy, so it’s not the best, anyway.”

 

Blitzo pushed open the doors and walked slowly into the bar.

 

 

Rolando: “Oh, there’s the little imp asshole that defeated me. What a smug little jerk.”

 

 

Blitzo sat down next to Millie, arms folded. “So…you the bitch that took our hit?”

 

 

“You lookin’ for payback?” Millie asked with a glare. “If so, you came to the wrong fucking BAR!” Millie retrieved her knife and stabbed it into the table. She leaped off her chair with a flip, spinning her knife in Blitzo’s direction.

 

Rolando: “Whoa! I know I don’t like Millie either, but that’s more like a true assassin! I’m impressed. She should’ve stayed under her imp overlords.”

 

“Whoa-oh!” Blitzo exclaimed, using a chair to block the attack. “Nice shot! I could see why Moxxie was so impressed with you!”

 

Millie landed more punches, which Blitzo blocked. She broke the chair with her fists.

 

“Impressive!” Blitzo remarked.

 

“Who’s that? Your boss? Ha!” Millie leaped and broke the table as Blitzo raced out of the way.

 

Rolando: “I bet Satan could’ve used her for his army if she had more connections.”

 

“Ow!” Blitzo winced then grinned. “Ha! He fucking wishes! No, I work for myself, lady!”

 

Millie did a flip.

 

“Nice one!” Blitzo called.

 

“Bullshit! Who sent you? Who are you working for?!”

 

“What? You don’t believe me?”

 

“Imps don’t work for themselves, asshole!”

 

“Well, this one does, and he’s very interested in having you join his team.”

 

Rolando: “Oh, this must’ve taken place before their little group was formed. I’m all for killing humans but I.M.P. should’ve gone elsewhere and stayed out of my way!”

 

Millie flipped over the wall. “You think you have anything to offer me?”

 

“Double whatever you’re getting paid now!” Blitzo declared.

 

Millie grabbed some darts. “I’m between jobs! HA!”

 

Blitzo dodged the darts, and the darts hit the bartender.

 

“This powerhouse! How’d that happen?”

 

“Not exactly a shortage of imp assassins in Wrath,” Millie responded. “Reputation is everything.”

 

“And what’s your reputation, hmm?” Blitzo asked.

 

Millie attacked him with a pool stick in response and they fought on a pool table. After they landed on the floor, Millie asked, “Who the fuck are you?”

 

“Someone with an eye for potential,” said Blitzo. “Now you wanna keep working for peanuts…or do you wanna shake things up?” He held his hand.

 

Millie held out her hand, then tossed a knife at Blitzo that cut his cheek.

 

Millie chuckled. “You’re fucking weird. I’m in.” The imps shook hands.

 

“So, who’s that Moxxie guy you mentioned?”

 

Blitzo and Millie walked out of the bar together.

 

“Oh, you’re new coworker. Yeah you…you’ll fucking hate him.”

 

Rolando: *Yawns* “I’m getting bored. I.M.P. backstory, boring.”

 

“Welcome to I.M.P.!” Blitzo smiled as the door opened to his office. “Holy shit!” Millie gasped.

 

Rolando: “Eugh! What a dump! I know my hotel was tacky, but at least things were fairly decent back in my home.”

 

“Sir, what is this?” Moxxie asked.

 

Blitzo patted the grimoire in his hands. “This baby right here is our future, ‘kay? So I figured we deserve an upgrade right? New clients, new office, new Ring. Go on, check it out!”

 

Blitzo looked at Millie. “What? Not nice enough for you? I did the fucking best I could.”

 

Rolando: “Hehhehheh.”

 

“We…heh…we don’t deserve this.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“We’re just Wrathians, Blitz. Muscle. It’s all we’re good for. All I’m good for…”

 

Rolando: “She should’ve stayed the brute she was.”

 

“…it’s why you hired me. Any demon good at making a buck is welcome in Lust or Greed, but here in Pride? Demons like us ain’t cut out for this. When a goon fails their mission set by their overlord, they are easily replaced. It’s endless competition.”

 

“Umm, fuck you,” Blitzo dismissed.

 

“What?!”

 

“Millie, I’ve spent too much of my time, energy and holes, into setting this up for us to entertain your bullshit. I brought you into this company for a reason, okay? You’re tougher, smarter, and frankly more capable than anyone I’ve ever met in any Ring. And I’m more fuckable and business savvy than any succu-bitch alive!”

 

Rolando: “In your dreams, horned ass.”

 

“Loona’s perfect and Moxxie’s…”

 

He glanced at Moxxie happily looking at electric eels in a fish tank, “…probably got some good traits too and I’m sure we’ll figure them out eventually…”

 

Rolando: “Heheheh.”

 

“The point is, if we can’t make it here, then…then no one deserves to, right?”

 

He led her around. “Kay’ so stop killing my buzz and come on, I wanna show you my office!”

 

Rolando: *Yawns.* “More imp backstories. I’m gonna skip.”

 

 

 

Millie hummed as she carried a tray of drinks into the I.M.P. building.

 

 

Rolando: “So that’s what Pride looks like! Red sky, city buildings. Imp City looks just like the dump I imagined it to be.”

 

Millie exited the elevator and hummed.

 

“Howdy, mister! Fine morning!”

 

Millie swung open the door.  “Another day in paradise!”

 

Millie froze as she saw a tired Loona standing by a fire in a barrel, holding an owl.

 

“Oh shit, it’s morning,” Loona groaned.

 

Rolando: “Whoa, what happened to the buzzed-mutt? Oh, ‘buzzed-mutt’ is what we call Hellhounds in Envy. Like ‘firetoads’ for imps and ‘Earth apes for humans,’ ya know?”

 

“Uh, yeah. Have you been here all night? And what are you doing?”

 

“Blitz bought two hundred taxidermy owls, then said I couldn’t go home until I burned…all of them.”

 

Rolando: “Wow, hahahaha! Blitzo must be really messed up in the head to even treat his co-workers like that.”

 

Wally Wackford appeared as Millie opened the door.

 

Rolando: “Who’s the showman freak?”

 

“Hey! I’ve got an order here for a hundred more wacky owls!”

 

“Fuuuccckk!” Loona groaned as she took the clipboard.

 

Rolando: *Chuckles*

 

“Hey, I haven’t seen you guys in a while, heh! Do you like wanna hang out some…”

 

Millie slammed the door in his face.

 

“Okay, that answers that, I say, I say!” Wally Wackford called from behind the door.

 

Rolando: “Hahaha! I would’ve done the same thing, Millie.”

 

“Blitz is still sulking? It’s been over a month. And where is Moxxie? He didn’t come home last night…”

 

Moxxie screeched in a panic from the other room. Millie raced into the room, about to attack, but stopped when she saw Moxxie.

 

“Honey? You okay?”

 

“I’m stuck in a math nightmare!” Moxxie cried, holding papers in his hands on the desk.

 

Rolando: *Chuckles* “Oh my goodness, if only I had been there to watch all those guys fall apart! Their thoughts would’ve been so tasty!”

 

“The numbers! The numbers! I can’t make them add up! We’re FUCKED!”

 

“Come on, baby, it can’t be that bad.”

 

“He drained our pension and used it to buy THESE!” He mentioned to a pile of plates in a box with brown horse pictures on them with their tongues out.

 

Rolando: *Scoffs* “What?! What a weirdo!”

 

“Damn. I’ve never seen him in such bad shape.”

 

“Bad? Bad?! This isn’t bad…this is just a FINANCIAL APOCALYPSE!”

 

Rolando: *Laughs* “Blitzo just screwed over his own company! I hope those imps go homeless!”

 

“I usually give him space to work his shit out but…you think I should talk to him?”

 

“We’re gonna get audited, we’re gonna default, we’re going bankrupt! Our lives are over, Millie! All my hard work gone in a flash! Ooh I should’ve been a theater critic, I have objectively correct opinions!”

 

Rolando: “Oh yeah, you should’ve! At least your full crew wouldn’t exist. That Moxxie fellow would’ve been an easy snack for me.”

 

“Loona I need my piss bucket NOW!”

 

Rolando: “The fuck?”

 

Blitzo sat on a pile of pillows eating ice cream and cheese whiz in his office.

 

Rolando: “You really are a pathetic moping sack aren’t you Blitzo?”

 

Bethany Ghostfucker appeared on TV. “Oh ooh, okay, I’m getting a real sexy energy from this room! Oh, there is definitely a fuckable spirit here!”

 

Rolando: “Wait, that’s what Blitzo dressed up as? A human whore actress? Disgusting! Still, it’s hilarious how stupid humans are to believe in ghosts let alone fucking them!”

 

“Yeah, get the spooky ghoul cock, bitch!”

 

“Blitz!”

 

“GO AWAY!”

 

“I’m comin’ in!”

 

“Read the chains!”

 

Millie opened the door and entered, turning off the TV. “Blitz, what are you doing? You’ve been in here watching this Earth trash forever.”

 

“I’M COPING!”

 

“Yeah, well you’ve ‘coped’ away every dollar we had.”

 

“Those plates are collectables, Millie. I’m gonna sell them next year for three times as much and then I’ll have something to show for it when the things I care about vanish.”

 

Rolando: “Heh. Good luck with that.”

 

“Mmmkay…my mama always said the best way to deal with being sad is the sweat and blood of hard work. Washes the tears right off.”

 

“I don’t need any of your ‘folksy-dolksy’ fucking country wisdom, Millie. I need to watch the Ghostfuckers get dicked down by a disembodied spirit and eat my feelings til’ I die from a heart attack or diabetes, whichever pops open my heart out first!”

 

Rolando: “Heheheh, oh please do.”

 

“I don’t get it, Blitz. All this over breakup?”

 

“IT WAS NOT A BREAKUP! You need a relationship for one of those and we never had that. And we never will.”

 

Rolando: “Oh, your despair looks so delicious…”

“Oh, Blitz…”

 

The phone rang and Blitzo pressed a button. “What?!”

 

“We’ve got a client,” said Loona.

 

“Tell them to FUCK OFF!”

 

“DON’T!” Millie yelled. “I’ll be right there.”

 

Loona and Millie walked out to meet Rita the Sinner.

 

“You know my psychic told me I’d be going somewhere bad on Wednesday. I thought she meant Baltimore, I didn’t think it was HELL!”

 

“Mhm, interesting,” said Loona as she picked up Millie and placed her in front of Rita.

 

“Oh look! Someone whose job it is to listen to you.”

 

“What’s going on?” asked Millie.

 

“…so yesterday I was killed by the evil ghost haunting the spooky hotel.”

 

Rolando: “Oooh! *chuckles evilly* “I think I remember her. She was that brown-haired lady I be-headed the other day!”

 

“Ma’am,” said Millie. “I don’t know how to tell you this, but when humans die, they either end up here or up there.”

 

“Ghosts aren’t real, lady!” Loona added.

 

Blitzo burst through the chained office door. “GHOST?! I HEARD GHOST! Where’s the ghost I can fuck…er hunt?”

 

“Blitz, calm down! Someone killed this lady, but it wasn’t…”

 

“Millie! Let. Me. Have. This.”

 

“But…”

 

Blitzo held up a punch card labeled “UNCONDITUINAL SUPPORT.” Millie sighed and punched a hole in it with a knife.

 

“Alright,” he said to Rita. “So, tell me what it looked like, starting with its hotness and tightness. How-how many abs would you say you witnessed?”

 

Rolando: “What a sexual freak. Believe me, she saw everything she needed to see before she never saw anything again! Hahahahaha! I don’t really need abs, I have my powers, shapeshifting and for hotness…heh, let’s just say I have a secret…uh… ‘five-star wonder’ that no one will ever see.” *chuckles* *Clears throat* “Alright moving on. Skip, skip…”

 

Blitzo and Millie entered the hotel lobby.

 

Rolando: “Alright folks! You finally get to see the star of the show! Enjoy!”

Rolando in his human disguise lowered Blitzo’s device with his fingers. “Welcome to the one Star Wonder where it’s a wonder we still have that star. How may I help you today?”

 

Blitzo spoke in his valley girl accent. “We’re filming a very special episode of my hit show and we’re gonna need access to every room in this dump.”

 

Rolando took the card. “Christ, you Hollywood assholes are pushy little pricks. I can’t just give you the keys to every ba…”

 

“Well snap me in half! You’re Bethany Ghostfucker from that one show…”

 

“It’s called ‘Ghostfuckers,’ idiot,” Blitzo deadpanned.

 

Rolando: “You’re the idiot, Blitzo. I could smell that you guys were hellborn imps.”

 

“No, but you’re getting close! Anyway, I am glad to see you folks, we’ve been having more…disturbances than usual lately.”

 

“What kind?” Blitzo asked. “S-sexy disturbances?”

 

Rolando slammed down three crime scene photos onto the desk. “The kind that are killing my guests!”

 

Rolando: “Yes, I do like to collect photos of my victims. Can’t let myself forget my accomplishments, can I? Heheheheh…”

 

“Well, there definitely ain’t no such thing as ghosts,” said Millie.

 

“You sure about that?” Rolando asked, as the lights flickered overhead.

 

“We’ll get to the bottom of who’s been killing your guests,” said Millie.

 

“Uh, yeah, except ghosts are real, camera man,” said Blitzo.

 

“They’re a conspiracy, Bethany!”

 

“Then what do I plan on fucking tonight?”

 

Rolando: *Growls* “Won’t you annoying imps just shut up?!”

 

“Real or not, this needs to stop,” said Rolando.

 

“Uh we’ll need those keys then,” said Blitzo.

 

Rolando gave them to him. “They killed my last cleaning lady and now I’m stuck with this.”

 

Rolando mentioned to the hunchbacked bellhop who drooled and made Stitch-like “bitch” noises.

 

“Poor thing can’t even blink.”

 

“No promises! Come along, Mil…I mean camera man…”

 

The portrait of Rolando holding a rose, eyed the imps as they wandered down the hall.

 

Rolando: “Very nice portrait of me.”

 

Rolando: “Yeah, I had to kill the cleaning lady…she accidentally saw me in my real form and…well, she was as tasty as any human…”

 

Rolando: “Alright, here come my favorite parts…”

 

Blitzo and Millie crawled through the vents. “Wow nice one Mils, I think I found the problem though! The readings were coming from above us so let’s get up there and…ow!”

 

He rammed into Millie who turned to him angrily. “Enough!”

 

“What?”

 

“I’m done. I don’t wanna play ghost hunter with you, and I…”

“Uh, it’s Ghostfuckers…”

 

“I wasn’t done!” yelled Millie. “You know, I always love to have fun with you, and I ain’t said boo to you moping around like a sad sack for weeks. But we have bills to pay. So look, you can be pathetic and play sex ghosts if that’s what you need to do, but I gotta get this job done.”

 

“Fine! Who needs you anyway?! Bethany Ghostfucker works alone!”

 

“Yeah who needs you anyway? Fucking ghost denying piece of sh…iIIITTT!”

 

Blitzo crawled through the vent and looked in disgust at black goo on his hands and clothes.

 

Rolando: “My black goo helps to create my illusions. I could sense his desperate thoughts from inside the vent! Heheheh!”

 

“SHIT! What the fuck is this?”

 

The black goo moved on its own and began pouring down from above.

 

Blitzo yelped as he started to slip. “Satan, Satan, Satan, FUCK!”

 

He strained as he held on by his fingertips.

 

Rolando: *Chuckles and eats popcorn*

 

“Millie? Millie! Millie! I need help! I can’t hold on, Millie!”

 

Blitzo lost his grip and screamed as he fell down the vent. A Millie opened it and Blitzo fell to the floor.

 

Blitzo reached out and stood up as Millie left. “Millie! Did you not hear me calling for help?”

 

“M-Mils!”

 

He raced after her and spun her around…

 

“You ALWAYS need help, Blitz!” screeched a distorted voice.

 

Rolando: “Oh yes, yes!”

 

Blitzo reeled back at the sight of a faceless Millie before him.

 

A nearby door opened, and a clawed hand gripped the frame. Another distorted voice that sounded similar to Millie’s.

 

“Always needing to take from those around you…”

 

To Blitzo’s horror, a glowing yellow eye appeared in the darkness, and out rose…

 

“Millie?” Blitzo stuttered.

 

But this Millie had rope wrapped around her wrists, a tree branch in her messy hair, bullet holes in her chest and shards of blood-stained glass where her left eye would be.

 

A horrific vision flashed in Blitzo’s mind…Millie leaping up to attack Ralphie, only for him to smash his glass bottle straight into her eye. Millie screamed and held her eye as black blood spurted forth. Then Blitzo found himself tied with Millie as the blond Martha grinned evilly and held her gun. Several shots rang out…one bullet from Martha hit Millie in the chest. Then another bullet flew through the air and hit her again. Martha then fell to the ground, thanks to Moxxie’s next shot. Moxxie then rushed over and wailed at the sight of Millie’s limp body next to Blitzo.

 

“Noooo!”

 

Moxxie looked at the bullet holes. “I…I killed her?”

 

Moxxie then glared at Blitzo with tears in his eyes, “What did you do?!”

 

“I didn’t do anyth…”

 

The vision faded, leaving Blitzo gasping in the hall again.

 

“That didn’t happen, that didn’t happen,” he told himself. “We killed that Satanic family, and all made it out. That Millie can’t be real, right?”

 

In response, another door opened.

 

“You leave them worse and more broken than you found them.”

 

Blitzo yelped as another Millie entered from a door. Her face was burned and badly sacred, mostly yellow with only a few patches of red skin. Her eyes were black, and the remains of her black hair were singed. Glowing green flames sparked on the ends of her hair. She wore a black collar and a torn black suit with a high white collar.

 

Suddenly Blitzo found himself back in Loo-Loo Land…

 

He fought Robo Fizz in the tent until facing him outside. Robo Fizz grinned as he walked through the green flames. Blitzo fired bullets from his gun at Robo Fizz. Robo Fizz rolled into the stand of toys, blowing it up and sending some stuffed animals flying through the air.

 

Stolas held Octavia in his arms, and they smiled. Blitzo crash-landed to the ground with Moxxie and Millie. A black queef dragged an unconscious Millie off to the side. Blitzo and Moxxie soon recovered…but as they reached their friend, they only saw her burned, still body. Her eyes were black and lifeless, all her skin peeled.

 

“Millie, no!” Blitzo cried. Moxxie screamed as well, cradling her.

 

Just when he thought it couldn’t get any worse…

 

A goopy slimy pink Millie stared at him with glowing white eyes, black blood raining from her eyes. Her black torn overalls were lopsided, and her hair was dripping in slime. Parts of her skin were cracked.

 

“The fuck happened to you?” Blitzo asked.

 

He soon got his answer as he was transported back to a beach on Earth. Verosika Mayday had tossed her drink into the ocean, causing a fish to morph into a hideous monster. The monster wrapped its tongue around a drunken Moxxie and snapped him up. Millie stabbed a man and threw a flaming Molotov cocktail at the beast. The fish stumbled and fell back into the water. Using her knife, Millie slid up along the monster’s body. With her knife in her mouth, she pried open the monster’s mouth, holding onto its teeth. A drunken Moxxie was punching the monster’s uvula.

 

Millie strained and reached out to Moxxie. Moxxie gave her a high five. Millie grabbed hold of Moxxie’s arm with one hand, balancing her stretched legs on the monster’s teeth. With a mighty slice, she sliced off the monster’s tongue, sending a piece of the tongue and Moxxie happily flying through the air. The tongue piece landed on the sand, and Blitzo caught the dazed Moxxie.

 

Moxxie cheered drunkenly.

 

To Blitzo’s surprise, the fish gave one last roar and disappeared back into the water.

 

There was no sign of Millie.

 

“FUUUUCCKKK, FUCK!” Blitzo screamed as he saw another flash of Millie trying to stab the monster in vain. Her stabs grew slower and slower until she dropped the knife. Her body convulsed and she gasped for air, trying to escape the monster’s teal stomach. She soon slipped and fell onto her back into teal-green acid. She gasped a few more ragged breaths, then her body went still. It soon turned a discolored pink and melted apart as the monster digested her.

 

Blitzo found himself staring at the floor. He didn’t know how much more of this he could take.

 

“You think you can change?” asked another grinning Millie.

 

“OH SHIT!” Blitzo thought. Glowing golden arrows protruded from Millie’s body, several through her chest and one having pierced her right eye.

 

Blitzo was soon forced to watch Millie and Moxxie spinning around the Earth opera theater, battling Cletus, Collin, and Keenie. Keenie took aim and her heavenly arrow pierced Millie in the eye.

 

“Millie!” cried Moxxie.

 

Millie gasped in the air, stunned that she had been hit. Another arrow fired through her chest and several more followed. Moxxie dropped to the ground and held his wounded wife. Seven arrows had pierced her body.

 

“I…love you…Mox…” she breathed before her head flopped to the side. Moxxie bellowed in sadness and rage as he continued his attack on the cherubs.

 

“YOU KILLED MY WIFE! ANGELLIC BASTARDS!”

 

Blitzo’s eyes filled with tears as Moxxie got shot in the head and collapsed to the stage floor, a golden arrow stuck in his forehead.

 

“It’s over, demon scum!” Cletus bellowed.

 

Blitzo stood frozen in fear as all three cherubs fired golden arrows toward his face…

 

“You’re not real! Go away!” Blitzo pleaded, back in the hotel.

 

 

Blitzo shuddered as the alternate Millie’s closed in.

 

“You’ll never stop fucking people’s lives up,” they groaned.

 

Blitzo stared at a more recent Millie, one with a broken arm and a missing leg.

 

In a flash, he could see Striker attacking Moxxie and Millie in a cabin. Striker grinned as he put Moxxie in a chokehold. Millie in a fit of rage, stabbed him repeatedly with her knife. She leaped onto his back and tried to slice his neck, but Striker slammed her against the wooden wall, and she collapsed.

 

“Millie…” Moxxie said weakly as Striker grinned overhead.

 

Striker tossed Moxxie and Millie down the stairs and into a cellar. Millie cried out as her leg got caught in a bear trap.

 

Striker grinned. “I’d kill y’all, but I feel like there’s more leverage with your rodeo clown of a boss if I don’t! Plus you little things ain’t worth the cleanup.”

 

Moxxie raced toward the exit, but a grinning Striker slammed the doors closed.

 

Moxxie pried off the bear trap from Millie’s leg. Black blood stained the floor.

 

“Millie! Oh, Satan!”

 

“Moxxie, I’m fine,” she reassured.

 

Moxxie pounded on the doors. “I can’t break through! I’m not strong enough.”

 

“Use what you’re good at,” said Millie.

 

“Oh right!” Moxxie said. He reached for his pistol to blast a hole in the doors to escape…

 

…only it wasn’t there.

 

“No! Striker took my gun!” Moxxie cried, pulling and yanking in vain at the doors. “Blitz! Blitz! Help us out!”

 

Moxxie soon sobbed as Millie lost consciousness and died in his arms.

 

Blitzo saw himself defeating Striker and saving Stolas…but the sight of Millie’s dead body was too much.

 

“I’m done, sir,” Moxxie cried. “You could’ve saved her.”

 

 

“Why didn’t you save us?” moaned all the Millies.

 

The Millie wearing the beanie hat flopped up and down before him, her face distorted like a zombie. He was holding her shoulders, and black blood was pouring from her bulging yellow eyes.

 

“When was the last time you actually loved someone without hurting them?” asked the distorted Millie, flopping on the floor.

 

Blitzo hyperventilated and ran for his life. He ran down endless hallways and then, standing as a silhouette with glowing yellow eyes…

 

“MOM!” Blitzo screamed. She was tall with long black hair, a red face, and she wore a purple dress with her signature red skull-like pendant. He was now a teenager and raced to her as fast as he could. She smiled warmly at him as he jumped into her arms.

 

“Momma,” Blitzo sobbed. “I was having the worst dream.” Tilla embraced Blitzo again.

 

“This isn’t a dream,” said a distorted voice. “This is your life…and it always will be.”

 

Blitzo stepped back as green flames sparked to life along her arms. The red pendant fell into his hands, the same one he wore as a necklace every day.

 

Blitzo’s worst nightmare had come true…green flames trialed through her hair, inching closer to her face.

 

“NO! NO, NO, NO, MOM! I’M SORRY!”

 

Her face burned before him, revealing her skull and teeth. Her glowing right eye fell out into his right hand.

 

“MOM, PLEASE I’M SORRY!”

 

He grabbed at her burning skull, desperately trying to reach her…but she soon vanished in sparks and smoke. Demonic laughter rang through the halls as Blitzo darted into a bedroom and cried in a ball on the floor.

 

Rolando: “Serves you right, Blitzo! I know the right memories to make people break!”

 

0 0 0

“Blitz?” Millie called. She crawled out of a vent and hopped onto the floor.

 

“Blitz, where are you?”

 

Millie froze and heard the sound of a door creaking open.

 

“Hello?”

 

She walked over to see Blitzo, only to find…

 

“Mox?!”

 

Moxxie had branches in his hair and a gaping bullet wound in his forehead. Black blood slowly poured from the hole in his head. His arms and legs were bent at awkward angles. Hammered-in nails protruded from his arms, chest and legs.

 

“That cursed family, those kids…they did this to me,” Moxxie cried. “And you weren’t there to save me!”

 

“What, what are you talking about?!” Millie backed away…

 

…and rammed into another Moxxie.

 

Millie screamed at the sight of Moxxie’s yellow peeling face, black empty eyes, torn black suit, and green flames dancing from the remains of his white hair.

 

“Too much of a battle-hungry brute to care for those you love?” moaned the burned Moxxie.

 

“Shut up! You ain’t real!” Millie cried.

 

“What is real? What is not?” laughed a drunken Moxxie creeping from the darkness. His eyes glowed white, his skin pink, his body giving off the appearance of melting. Parts of his flesh were torn, leaving exposed bone. “Couldn’t even save us from that fish,” groaned the melted Moxxie, swooning this way and that. “Just admit you’re weak!”

 

Millie swung her fists, trying to stand her ground as the alternate Moxxies closed in.

 

“You’ll always be the dumb farm girl, underappreciated by the rest of your imp friends…”

 

Millie seethed and backed away from another Moxxie who had golden heavenly arrows protruding from his body. “It’s obvious the angels don’t care for us either!”

 

“Stay away!”

 

“You should’ve stayed behind…should’ve stayed the obedient assassin in Wrath.”

 

Millie flinched as another Moxxie walked over to her…though he had a broken neck from being strangled by Striker.

 

“Getting into fights so much…” the Moxxie cracked his neck…

 

“…more will get hurt because of your recklessness.”

 

“BANKRUPTCY! BANKRUPTCY! BANKRUPTCY!” A more current Moxxie with bulging eyes grabbed hold of her and shook her hard. Millie shoved him off and ran for her life from the alternate Moxxie illusions.

 

She stopped against the wall to catch her breath. More demonic laughter echoed in the halls.

 

“Moxxie is safe…Moxxie is safe…” she told herself again and again. It was not very often she found herself scared to the bone.

 

She looked around. The lights flickered overhead again.

 

“I have to check on Blitz!”

 

Rolando: “That’s how it’s done! It was pretty easy to pick up on their thoughts. I don’t even have to see them. Alright, let’s go to the finale!”

 

“Come on, Blitz,” said Millie, following him out of the room. “What’s the only thing you know that comes to Earth and fucks with people’s minds that badly?”

 

“Probably an infestor possessor demon from Envy,” Blitzo responded.

 

“Bingo!” said Millie, snapping her fingers.

 

“So-ho, figured it out, have you?” asked a distorted voice. Millie and Blitzo looked around. They both got into fighting stances.

 

Rolando: “Be afraid little imps…be very afraid…”

 

A grinning Rolando stood in the distance. The round overhead lights flickered off.

 

“A bit out of your depth, aren’t you, little ones?” he hissed. His face and body morphed into his true demonic form, a humanoid sea monster with glowing yellow eyes, sharp teeth, fin-like ears and scaly skin.

 

The lightbulbs exploded above them, and the imps ran for their lives. Rolando’s demonic laughter echoed through the darkened hall. Rolando chased after him as a grinning hovering shadow with red eyes and bony hands.

 

Rolando: “HA! HA! Run little imps…I’ll still catch you!”

 

“Damn, our tiny fucking legs!” Blitzo panted as he sprinted as fast as he could. Sweat poured down their faces. Rolando appeared and disappeared in shadow as more lights exploded above him in yellow sparks. Rolando morphed himself into black goo, splashing and grabbing hold of Blitzo’s leg. Blitzo collapsed to the floor.

 

“You know my secret…” he hissed.

 

Millie raced over to help Blitzo but was lifted up in a chokehold by the shadowy Rolando. His eyes and grinning mouth glowed yellow. Blitzo reached out desperately to Millie.

 

“I guess you gotta die like all the reeesssttt!” Rolando hissed.

 

Rolando: “So long, imp scum!”

 

Millie and Blitzo were picked up by an invisible force. Blitzo screamed as he crashed through several walls and landed in the pool room. He banged his head against a column and coughed. Blitzo coughed and grunted as he sat up, holding his chest and wincing. The pool glowed an eerie green behind him.

 

Rolando: “My force should’ve ended them on the spot, to be honest. Going through all those walls…no one should survive that shit…”

 

A hand with three claws gripped the broken wall. Rolando grinned as he climbed through the copper pipes and into the area. His suit was now black with three white buttons on it. He wore sharp black boots. His white fin-like hair was transparent, and he wore glowing red sharp sunglasses with yellow trim. He displayed a row of sharp white teeth and a pointed chin like an undersea predator. His skin was a scaly gray.

 

He spoke distorted and demonic, “Oh this is fun!”

 

He leaped forward and kicked Blitzo hard in the face. He laughed evilly.

 

WHACK!

 

Millie responded with a high kick of her own. She sent Rolando into a nearby wall.

 

“Atta, girl, Mils!” Blitzo swung his fist. Millie grinned back at him.

 

Rolando: “Annoying little bitch…”

 

A grinning yellow face appeared on the surface of the water behind them. Both imps turned around as Rolando rose out of the water.

 

“No, thatta bitch!” he roared. He leaped forward and nearly grabbed Millie. He bent in a wide arch before righting himself on his knee. He then raced toward Blitzo and kneed him hard in the chin. He fell to the floor as Rolando flipped into the air toward Millie. Millie leaped toward him to attack, but he sent her down with a kick.

 

Blitzo narrowly avoided Rolando’s attack…his foot left the floor cracked where Blitzo had been moments before. Millie grunted and swung out her leg again, Rolando grinned and grabbed her foot, swinging her around. He grabbed hold of Blitzo as well, tossing them both into the pool. He grinned above them as they fell through the water.

 

Rolando: “You’re in my territory now, imps! *Growls* Now that I think of it, I really should’ve let them drown! Why didn’t I?! Why?”

 

As quick and deadly as a shark, Rolando zoomed through the water, his natural element. He slammed into Millie, pushing her into the wall with his head. She winced at the impact. He grabbed hold of her wrist and in a flip, slammed her against the pool floor. Holding onto Millie, he grinned as he swam to attack Blitzo. He grabbed onto Blitzo’s leg and leaped out of the water.

 

Blitzo and Millie cried out as Rolando slammed them both hard to the ground. He laughed evilly again as they both groaned on the floor.

 

Millie slowly groaned as she stood up. She helped Blitzo up and they stood together on shaking legs.

 

“You call yourselves assassins!” he mocked the imps. He moved his head, and all the lightbulbs shattered, leaving the room in darkness, save for the glowing pool. An invisible force rammed into the imps, knocking them backwards. The pillars cracked and yellow sparks rained down from the broken bulbs.

 

Rolando cocked his head. He hovered off the ground and spoke in an eerie voice.

 

“Eenie, meenie, miny…”

 

Blitzo and Mille looked up with terrified looks.

 

His glowing yellow eyes widened. “…mo!”

 

Millie and Blitzo screamed as Rolando flew at them and entered through each of their heads in black goo.

 

 

Blitzo and Millie found themselves chained to chairs in an old movie theater. They both grunted and struggled to get out in vain.

 

Rolando: “Yes, just to let you know, I messed with both of their minds, and man it was tons of fun! Though that Millie girl was pretty stubborn. Blitzo went through so much trauma, much easier prey for me.”

 

Rolando floated out of Blitzo and grinned. He licked his neck with his long yellow-green tongue and Blitzo flinched and whimpered.

 

“Welcome to the show, asshole,” Rolando mused. Rolando flew in an arch of black goo before settling in a seat behind him. He held a bag of popcorn in his hand.

 

“I hear this one’s a real titilator.” The curtains opened. He grinned and pointed at the screen. The screen was tinted green and did the old-fashioned round “3, 2, 1,” on the screen.

 

To Blitzo’s utter horror, his own memories flashed before him. He saw the fire at Loo-Loo Land, with imps and circus horses racing for their lives. Blitzo saw himself racing to save his mother…but only managing to find her red pendant. He held it tightly in his hands.

 

He saw the angry face of his father…and cried out at the sight of his father hitting him.

 

Blitzo began to cry as he saw a memory of Fizzarolli being burned on the ground. His father glared at him as Fizzarolli rested in the hospital in the background. Blitzo tried to reach Fizzarolli, but his father blocked his path.

 

Then Blitzo remembered the times when he was mocked by Robo-Fizz, and another moment when Verosika berated him during her song at Ozzie’s.

 

He could remember how he had felt lonely and left out when Moxxie and Millie kissed each other during their missions.

 

Rolando sneered and manifested rusted chains to hold Blitzo’s horns in place. He clamped open Blitzo’s tear-filled eyes, making him watch more.

 

He saw when he had gotten into an argument with Loona at the beach during spring break. Loona shoved Blitzo to the ground on Earth after Octavia had been found. Then the awful moment when Barbie Wire yelled at Blitzo for ruining her job…screaming that she never wanted to see him again.

 

Then the scenes with Stolas…how Blitzo had pulled away when Stolas had tried to comfort him at Ozzie’s. When Stolas had left him in the van…when Stolas declared that he wanted to break up with him…Stolas giving him the Asmodean crystal as a way of saying goodbye…Stolas and Veorsika and Vortex singing about how Blitzo was a motherfucker at the Blitzo hate party on Earth…Stolas’s sad drunken face…Stolas making out with the pink male incubus, their tongues locked together…Millie berating him for his cosplay…

 

“Blitz!” Millie strained in her chair next to him. “Snap out of it!”

 

“Silence, bitch!” Rolando snapped. “Don’t try to ruin our little fun…you’re next!”

 

“We’ll get out of this mess, Blitz!” Millie strained against the chains.

 

Rolando flew toward Millie. “Oh, the filthy little Wrathian wants to help!”

 

Rolando licked her neck as well. “You can’t help anyone, you’re just the muscle, remember?”

 

The screen shifted and soon Millie’s memories began to play on screen. Millie gasped as she saw the disapproving looks from her parents after she had told them she was going freelance.

 

Then she saw the stern face of her overlord from her first job…a heavyset imp with a broad ax and spines along his back. He had told her to kill twenty rogue demons before several coworkers by the end of the day…the assassins who failed would be killed in front of them. Millie had been grateful to have survived the ordeal.

 

Rolando: “I could’ve easily gotten into Loona and Moxxie, too. And that Stolas royal guy. I heard Loona was abandoned and stuck in a cell most of her life. And poor old Moxxie lived with his abusive mafia father who killed his mother. Heheheheh, Moxxie wouldn’t stand a chance! I’ve heard of the Goetia, but they’re nothing to Leviathan and the other Sins. I wish I could’ve possessed them all…though four against one would’ve been cutting it kinda close…”

 

 

 

“Fighting is all you and your imp kind are good for. You said it yourself.”

 

Millie flinched in disgust at the sight of Chaz’s arrogant face…the shark teen bragging about himself and rubbing himself on top of her. Rolando snickered in the background.

 

“Let us go, asshole!” Millie hollered.

 

“I’m in your minds, bitches!” he called to the straining imps. “I see everything. Every thought, every opinion and boy…”

 

He grinned. “…you both have nasty shit to say about the other…”

 

“Don’t listen to him,” called Millie.

 

Blitzo paused. “Hey, I don’t see my memories anym…”

 

Rolando morphed back near Blitzo, and his memories played across the screen again.

 

“NO! STOP!” Blitzo screamed, tears running down.

 

“Your level of insecurity is intoxicating,” Rolando purred. “I can’t wait to see how you taste when you drive away the one person left who puts up with your bullshit.”

 

Rolando laughed. “Blitzo thinks you’re a brute, Millie! Too stupid to do anything but kill!”

 

“That’s not true!” Millie protested.

 

“You never should’ve left the farm! You’re nothing but a backwards, filthy, inbred, lowborn fucking hick!”

 

Millie rolled her eyes. “Ya done?”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

Rolando paused then grinned. “Oh no. I’m just getting started, my dear.”

 

Rolando spoke to both of them. “Nobody cares about you guys or what you want. They’re too caught up in their own misery to even remember you exist. Especially you, girl.”

 

“Now look here, combover,” Millie glared. “You may think you know everything, but you missed two. One, your words don’t mean shit to me and two…Blitz can handle this!”

 

“Can he now? Can you?”

 

Rolando grinned as Blitzo’s memories played.

 

“It would be a shame if you two decided to take…a little swim with me…”

 

Millie and Blitzo’s possessed bodies stood up, both eyes glowing blank yellow. Rolando moved back and forth from Millie to Blitzo. Their bodies inched slowly toward the pool, robotic in motion. Millie sat near the edge of the pool as her memories played. When Rolando moved back to Blitzo, Blitzo’s body dropped down into the water like a rock.

 

Blitzo and Millie gasped in horror.

 

Rolando: “So close to killing them! Making them drown and then I could’ve feasted on their bodies in the pool!”

 

Millie then realized her memories weren’t on screen. “Blitz! He can only possess us fully one at a time!”

 

Blitzo’s eyes widened then he winked.

 

“Blitz can handle this!” Millie said again.

 

“Oh no he can’t!” Rolando countered, getting closer to Blitzo. “He’ll be swimming with the fishes before long!”

 

Blitzo felt himself gasping for breath and Rolando laughed. Blitzo’s memories were starting to go dark.

 

With Rolando distracted, Millie used her strength to slowly break free of her chains.

 

“You’re wrong. So buckle up, buttercup!” Millie spat at Rolando.

 

When Rolando got too close, Mille whirled around and slapped Rolando in the face with a free hand. The impact caused Rolando to lose his grip on Millie’s body. He smacked her in the head, and she winced.

 

Rolando: “Rude little hick!”

 

“Just wait until I finish off your pathetic little boss friend!”

 

He moved toward Blitzo, sinking his body further.

 

Millie closed her eyes, and the pool room slowly came back into focus.

 

“Come on, come on, come on, come on…”

 

Millie shook herself awake and saw a drowning figure in the water.

 

“Blitz!”

 

She dove in and pulled him up. Rolando used Blitzo to try and drag her back in, but Millie slipped out of his grip and raced onto the deck.

 

“Come and get me, fishbrain!” called Millie.

 

Possessed Blitzo growled.

 

The possessed Blitzo climbed out of the water and attacked her with his fists, which she blocked. He wrapped her with his tail, shoving her aside. Millie dodged his foot as he flipped over. Rolando grabbed her arm and spun her around. He spun her in a dance then knocked his head into her. He then tossed her over the pool and onto the other side. Rolando swam through the water and leaped out with a splash at Millie.

 

He lifted her up and slammed her into a pillar, which cracked on impact. He spun in a loop around another pillar and aimed his feet at her. She moved back and dodged his landing. She then dodged every one of his fists.

 

Millie then grinned and swooped her foot under his, sending him to the floor. Millie then gripped both his arms from behind.

 

Rolando: “How dare she beat me?! I had her! She should’ve surrendered!”

 

“Like I said, combover, your words don’t mean shit to me!” Millie smirked. She punched him in the face and tossed him into a wall. Rolando was then punched and beaten rapidly by Millie’s fury of punches to his face and gut. The wall cracked from behind him. Rolando cried out, spitting black blood.

 

“This is what you get for messing with my friend!” Millie hollered. She grunted and with her strength, she slammed him against the floor. Rolando turned around…

 

WHAM!

 

Millie finished him off with a roundhouse kick to the chin. He collapsed, Blitzo’s head hanging partially in the water. Blitzo’s mouth opened, and Rolando flew out from his mouth in a black gooey shadow.

 

Rolando: “That was fucking unpleasant…”

 

Blitzo slowly blinked and sat up, rubbing his head. “Ugh, good work, Mils.”

 

“Oh-ho!” Blitzo cried out as Millie punched him in the face. “AH FUCK, IT’S ME!”

 

Millie covered her mouth. “Oh! Shit! Sorry!” She chuckled, bending down. “It’s good to have you back, boss.”

 

Rolando hoisted himself up, dripping wet on the floor.

 

“You little ass plugs are done for! You’re dead, Bethany!”

 

“Well, that’s where you’re wrong,” Blitzo said, walking over to him, holding his device. “I ain’t Bethany Ghostfucker…”

 

He spoke with newfound confidence, “Tonight I’m Blitz, DEMON-DICKER!”

 

Blitzo yelled and slapped Rolando with his device. He fell into the pool.

 

Rolando: “Blitzo, you little…”

 

Rolando lifted up his head. He shrugged his shoulders, putting out his hands as if to say “What the fuck? I’m in my natural element.”

 

Blitzo then kicked his ghostfucker device into the water.

 

Rolando: “Oh shit…”

 

The device sank into the water and electricity sparked and zigzagged across the surface. Rolando realized too late that he was in danger.

 

The fish screamed in agony as he was fried by the electricity. His glasses exploded and his yellow eyes melted as black blood gushed out from them. His screams turned distorted. His body and head sank to the bottom.

 

Rolando: “NOOOO!  NO, NO, NO! WHY? LEVIATHAN, THAT WAS FUCKING HORRIBLE!”

 

Blitzo raised his fist in triumph. “AAANNND THAT’S HOW YOU GET GHOSTFUCKED!”

 

Millie embraced Blitzo. “Let’s go home.”

 

Blitzo grinned and kicked open the doors. “Yeah, fuck hotels.”

 

Rolando: *Pauses the video and screams in rage*

 

Rolando: “KILLED IN MY OWN ELEMENT! GOD THAT WAS AGONIZING! BLITZO! MILLIE! YOU LITTLE BOTTOMFEEDERS WILL PAY FOR THIS!”

 

Rolando: *Deep breaths and growls*

 

Rolando: “Fuck…alright, you want me to watch the rest? Too fucking bad! I’m skipping the rest because I’m not in it! I can’t believe this! If I could meet them again, I’d skip the mind playing and tear those little shits apart!”

 

Rolando: “You still here, human? Unless you can bring me back to life or have thoughts of despair for me to feed on, GET LOST!”

 

…

…

 

Rolando: *Looks at empty bag* “And get me some more popcorn while you’re at it!”