The sea-blue serpent demon roared and bared its sharp teeth…at a small
size from inside a jar. After the monster had gotten loose, Baxter had to
shrink it with his shrink ray. He was warned by Vaggie to “keep it in your lab
or better yet, get rid of it.”
Niffty admired the beast inside the jar. “Can I pet it?”
“No,” stated Baxter, folding his arms. “Lophiiformes is my science
experiment to test my Speed-Growth formula and to have a monster to scare off
any enemies who would dare stand against my genius!”
“Don’t let it loose again,” warned Vaggie. “And Niffty, get back to
work.”
Niffty stared intently at Baxter, her face blushing before she snapped
out of it and darted off to clean more rooms.
Vaggie gave Sir Pentious one stern glare before leaving. The snake
slithered off back to his quarters with the Egg Boiz.
Vaggie sighed. “Why can’t those guys just behave for once? It’s like
trying to raise kids on drugs.”
“It’ll be alright, Vaggie,” Charlie said, hopefully. “We got Baxter
back safely from the desert, remember?”
Vaggie snapped. “But now he has more deadly weapons he could use for
who knows what! We can’t redeem anyone if they still have weapons around!”
“Again, we need to defend ourselves against the Vees and the angels,”
Angel Dust deadpanned. “I’m surprised all of us have survived each other so
far.”
Vaggie then pondered in thought. “Hmm…”
“So, you’re saying no weapons at all?” Charlie asked. “That would be
nice!”
“Sadly, not,” Vaggie explained, holding out a hand. “I hate to admit,
but Angel Dust is right. Perhaps we need to figure out what kind of weapons
could be used for defense and get rid of the more destructive ones.”
“Easier said than done,” Angel Dust mentioned. “Those inventors and
other criminals will say ‘killing is for self-defense,’ and get stuck in their
ways. We can’t monitor them all the time.”
“We need to keep the angelic weapons at least,” advised Husk. “They
can be used to kill all kinds of demons, even the powerful ones.”
“They can…kill angels, too,” Vaggie spoke in a soft low voice. The
Hazbin crew stared in stunned silence.
“Really?!” Charlie gasped. “You mean the Exorcists aren’t
indestructible?!”
“No, they’re not,” said Vaggie. “Besides killing anyone, the weapons
can also damage angels and scar demons.”
“Is that how you lost your eye?” Charlie asked, wide-eyed.
Vaggie stuttered nervously. “Y-yeah, I got into a fight with another
Sinner, and they used my spear to…ya know…” she lied, making a stabbing gesture
toward her eye.
“Oh, I’m so sorry, Vaggie,” Charlie responded, hugging her briefly. “Why
didn’t you tell me this before?”
“Oh…uh…thought it would be too traumatic for you to hear…”
“It’s alright,” said Charlie. “It’s hard to survive in Hell,
especially when you’re a lost Sinner from Earth.”
“Rrrright,” Vaggie smiled nervously, briefly putting her hands behind
her back, feeling the stubs of where her Exorcist angel wings once were.
“Thanks for telling me,” said Charlie.
“Sure,” said Vaggie. “Just try not to make any deals with Alastor or
forget it after many more months.”
Charlie stood red in the face, already losing her confidence.
Going back to the topic, Charlie began. “I mean…I’m sure you could
train them to just use weapons in self-defense instead of, you know, pleasure
in destruction and murder.”
“Wait, what about Alastor’s dangerous powers?” Vaggie asked.
“Alastor’s magic is another matter,” said Husk dejectedly. “Best to
start with dealing with physical weapons first.”
Charlie waved a hand. “I bet we can help redeem these guys, one
eliminated weapon at a time. I mean, they’re in my hotel under our
surveillance. What else could they possibly use the weapons for?”
Charlie had just finished speaking, when a video flashed on Angel
Dust’s phone: “Introducing Hell’s Weapon Expo World’s Fair! Sign Up Today!”
Vaggie glanced at Charlie, both of the girls downcast. Vaggie began, “Guess
that answers your question. Shit just keeps getting worse, doesn’t it?” Vaggie
growled in frustration as Charlie’s eyes widened in concern and fear.
0 0 0
“Guys,” Angel Dust called. “You might wanna see this.”
Baxter and Sir Pentious glared daggers at each other as they walked
into the parlor, but both came over to Angel Dust, Vaggie, and Charlie.
Angel Dust showed the advertisement video. A smiling Vox appeared on
the screen. Next to him was a picture of a slowly spinning globe that showed a
large neon red pentagram.
“Greetings geniuses and gunslingers of all ages! Looking for an
opportunity to show off your egregious exploits?! Come on over to Hell’s new Weapon’s
Expo, located right here in Pentagram City! Demonstrate your deadliest devices
and prove your prowess in…”
Vox briefly lowered his voice, his left eye
making hypnotic motions, “…gory gains!” More images showed a variety of
weapons, guns, spears, swords, bombs, axes and more on the screen. “Whoever
wins the contest shall receive infernal eternal glory, an angelic weapon of
their choice and of course, tons of fucking money! But be warned dear Sinners,
for this contest shall be judged by Carmilla Carmine herself, the top weapons
dealer! Plus some other Overlords. Me? I’m just hosting this thing, so keep
those profits coming in! To make this extra spicy, we’ll have contestants from
all the Rings of Hell showcase their gadgets! So be prepared for some cultural
trading and sharing. Sign up today at the center of the city near the
clocktower and let’s dial up the chaotic fun! Applications are due in a few
days and the event will be seven unholy days of sin. First the contest, then
meet and greet, and then free weapon testing on your enemies! Be there or be
double dead, fuckers!” Vox laughed as upbeat futuristic music played before
the commercial ended.
Everyone stared wide-eyed and in silence. Sir Pentious and Baxter then
looked at each other and spat at the same time: “I’m gonna beat your loser
ass!”
Angel Dust smirked. “Ya know, you two have more in common than you
think.”
“Shut up, spider!” they both roared, before narrowing their eyes at
each other again.
“I’ll make the best inventions that Hell will ever see!” Sir Pentious
bragged, hand over his chest. The Egg Boiz cheered behind him. “It’ll be my
best work since my time alive!”
The Piscine Machines stood erect before Baxter. “I’d like to see you
try, old fossil,” Baxter retorted. “Everyone knows my IQ is superior than yours
and my inventions are, too! Former lab partner.”
“Nobody is gonna want to see a girly fishy nobody,” Sir Pentious
hissed. “And a smelly fish that Frankenstein pooped out. You’re nothing more
than a background character and an Einstein wannabe.”
“Some words from a goofy old-timey villain no one can take seriously!
You’re the butt of all sex and exploding jokes,” Baxter cackled.
“And you’re just a lunatic who needs to be in an asylum!”
“I’ll shove those Egg Boiz down your gullet you cock-sucking cobra
cunt!”
“Anglerfish asshat!”
“Tyrannical troll!”
“Diabolical deranged dick!”
“Schoolboy sissy shit scientist!”
“Here we go again,” Vaggie groaned out loud, leaning her head back
slightly and almost ripping out her hair.
Charlie took a breath. “Is it…too much to ask for you guys to stay
here and…?”
“’Talk about our feelings?’” asked Sir Pentious with sarcasm at
Charlie. “Not at all. I’d be happy to talk…after I’ve won at the fair!”
“I see a 0% probability of that happening! In fact, I’m going to get
started, slowpoke!” Baxter stated. “I’ll see you at the sign-up,
sissy-suck-snake!”
“I hope not, fishy-fuck-face!” Sir Pentious snapped. The two inventors
turned their heads at each other, arms folded, noses in the air and marched to
their respective lairs.
Amid the tense silence, Angel Dust added with a mischievous grin, “I’m
planning on joining with Cherri Bomb. I bet demons will love my guns just as
much as my…” he grinned, “…parts and fluffy things people think are tits.”
“Absolutely not!” Vaggie cut in, folding her arms. “If you’re staying at
this hotel, you’re not going to run off and kill people!”
“Relax, toots! I’m only gonna show off my…guns if you will,” he
winked. “No harming others, ya have my word.”
“And you’ll come straight back to the hotel?” Charlie asked.
“Absolutely! If I don’t have work with Val.”
Charlie’s face fell.
“Ready to quit?” came Alastor’s radio voice into Charlie’s ear. He
grinned with red eyes.
“Nope,” Charlie folded her arms. “We will…wait and see how things go.”
“You’re just letting two mad inventors run amok?!” Vaggie inquired,
incredulously.
Charlie turned to Vaggie. “We just need to make sure they don’t use
their weapons to kill anyone! Then we’ll bring them back to the hotel once the
contest is over!”
“But this whole thing is run by Vox! You know he wants to bring this
place down and create chaos!”
“Well…” Charlie explained, stuttering slightly. “If this contest can
help Baxter and Sir Pentious bond over similar interests…”
Sir Pentious and Baxter slammed their doors at the same time…
Charlie smiled nervously. “…I’m sure it’ll turn out better than we
think. Hopefully.”
“Alastor, you’re not thinking of participating in this bullshit too,
are you?” Vaggie asked, eyebrow raised.
Alastor laughed and shook his head. “I could destroy all their little
toys in an instant. It’s been quite entertaining here already!”
“Tell me about it,” Vaggie groaned.
“But for now, I’ll be off hunting and eating venison in my room,”
Alastor said, reminiscing. “Ah…my good old bayou in New Orleans!”
“Can you make a portal to Earth and stay there?” Vaggie snapped.
“Nope, I enjoy you sinning failures too much.”
Vaggie sighed and shrugged. “Worth a try.”
Alastor hummed as he vanished to his room in shadow.
“I’ll watch Baxter, you take Sir Pentious,” Vaggie said. “Make sure
they don’t kill each other or anyone else.”
“Who’s gonna watch over me?” Angel Dust asked, grinning at Husk.
Husk sighed, a bottle in his pawed hand. “I ain’t talkin’ to you.”
Niffty clapped her hands. “Two bad boys! How exciting!”
“Wait…I thought you said…” Charlie began.
“That snake is going back to being bad!” Niffty snickered evilly,
making Charlie squirm inside.
None of the Hazbins noticed a few of Alastor’s shadow minions glancing
at the doors of the inventors and emitting supernatural sinister snickers.
0 0 0
Sir Pentious sat at his work bench in his room. Before him on a table
were a variety of tools, screws, blowtorches, and blueprints. Sir Pentious had
his goggles on over his eyes and was using a blowtorch to meld some metal beams
together. Extra space had been added to his hotel room for his workshop.
“Wrench,” called Sir Pentious, holding out a gloved hand. One of the
Egg Boiz placed a wrench in his hand.
“Screws,” he said. Another Egg Boi placed screws in his hand. The room
was full of banging, whirling, fizzling, cranking and the grinding of steampunk
gears.
“I shall make a grand zeppelin, bigger and better than before! It’ll
have double the weapons and lasers. Even Alastor will think twice! When I make
my grand entrance at the fair, the crowd will surely adore me and my
masterpieces!”
He pondered. “Hmm…should I bring my Skinflayer 11,000? No, I’d better
keep it here at the hotel…in case bratty Baxter tries to sneak up on me. I know
what I’ll call my vehicle of war… the Soulslicer 20,000! Perfect!”
“Excellent, boss!” rooted several Egg Boiz in the background. More
eggs climbed onto an unfinished hunk of machine parts, screwing in screws,
hammering in nails, lifting gears, and putting pipes into place. A few were
testing parts of weapons, firing holes into the wall. One Egg Boi stomped on a
small fire, putting it out with a yelp. Another Egg Boi in the corner was
drooling over a poster of Sir Pentious dressed in a blue military uniform with
red eyes on the chest like badges.
“I’ll prove to Vox that I’m NOT a failure! I’m the ultimate
everlasting extraordinaire…the vilest of all villains! He’ll be sorry he ever
bossed me around!” Sir Pentious banged his fist on the table and laughed. “I’ll blast that fish-brain boy to bits with
this!”
Frank the egg glanced around and spotted something coming in from
underneath the door.
“Uh…boss?”
“What is it?” Sir Pentious snapped, not paying attention.
“S-something dark is coming in the room!”
“No one can enter my secret lair,” Sir Pentious proclaimed as a horned
shadow minion of Alastor slithered under the crack in the door and flew off to
the side in an upper corner. Frank pointed upward with shaking small black
fingers. “It…it’s back, boss! I see it!”
“Oh, quite your yapping and get back to work!” Sir Pentious hissed at
Frank before melding more metals together. Frank shuddered as the grinning
shadow floated down and behind the giant machine. Before long, Sir Pentious
stood up, wiping his face with his arm, and staring proudly at a dark gray
prototype of another zeppelin.
“Alright, let’s test this baby out!” he called. The shadow minion
unscrewed several screws and bent the wires and pipes where the engines were.
Frank jumped and yelled frantically but was drowned out by the sounds of the
other eggs hustling and bustling. Two eggs opened up a window and two sat at
the controls in the front interior of the war machine.
Sir Pentious pressed a button and the engine rumbled to life. Sir
Pentious grinned as the Egg Boiz steered the ship toward the window. Victory
was his!
The engine suddenly rumbled and sputtered, and black smoke puffed out
of the engine holes.
“What the shit?!” Sir Pentious cried out.
“It’s gonna blow, boss!” cried Frank. Several Egg Boiz ran for cover.
Sir Pentious leaped out of the way before the back part of the zeppelin
exploded with a smoky blast. Sir Pentious screamed and curled into a ball on
the ground as smoke filled the shaking room. He stood up and coughed as the
smoke cleared.
He slithered forward and gasped. The back half of the vehicle was now
burnt rubble and several windows were broken. The two Egg Boiz who had been in
the cockpit were now shell pieces and yok.
“FUCK!” Sir Pentious roared. “Now I have to start from scratch again!
Who did this?!”
The Egg Boiz cowered and stepped back. Sir Pentious glared at Frank
who whimpered and lowered his small black top hat. “I’ll have you scrambled for
this!”
“S-sorry, boss, it wasn’t me, I swear!”
Frank then stared at a piece of paper that fell from the sky, pointing
upward. Sir Pentious glanced at it and snatched it from the smoky air. He
peered closely and read a note: “Blow up in your face, ha! -Baxter.”
Sir Pentious’ face turned crimson red, and the eye on his gray top hat
glowed an angry red as well.
“THAT FISH BOY IS SO DOUBLE DEAD!”
From up in the air, having dropped the note, the shadow minion laughed
evilly before vanishing from the room.
0 0 0
Baxter hummed as he got to work in his laboratory. Cyan fluorescent
lights hummed overhead. He grinned as blue electricity zigzagged from one metal
pole to another on a device in front of him. “Oh ho, ho, that stupid serpent is
gonna shit his scales when he sees my greatest new invention!” Baxter examined
a blueprint of a towering transformer-like robot shaped like an anglerfish. In
front of him, the tower of metal was almost complete. It had six metal arms,
two thick metal legs with spikes on them and a metal head with a window where
Baxter could sit and control it. A nearby remote also allowed it to be on
autopilot. In the robot’s six hands were a variety of weapons.
“One gun shall fire my new cactus juice substance and put the audience
in a hallucinogenic stupor. One will shoot mind-control rays, another,
poisonous green goo from the Hell eels. One will shoot angelic bullets...hopefully
I’ll get enough. The next, deadly blasts of electricity that make tasers seem
like toys! Hahaha! The last one…shit, I don’t know. Shit? Maybe it’ll just
shoot out shit. Whatever works.”
Klein grinned evilly too…until his sensors caught something unusual. “Unknown
presence detected,” called his robot voice, a scanner popping out from its
metal head. Baxter glanced around. “You fool, I don’t see anyone. You locked
the doors, didn’t you?”
“Yes, master.”
“Then perhaps it’s a glitch in your system.”
Alastor’s shadow minion poured in through the crack in Baxter’s lab
door, blending in with the darkness.
“Negative. The presence appears to be…non-physical.”
“Non-physical?” Baxter scoffed, standing up and walking to the robot.
“You know there are no transparent ghosts in Hell!”
“Technically, you are a ghost, master.”
“Technically, I don’t care! Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to become
the greatest most evil genius at the expo! My masterpiece is almost…”
Baxter paused with surprised cyan eyes as Alastor’s shadow minion
pushed the robot forward with magic. The towering invention moaned and groaned
as it slowly tipped forward. Baxter screamed and leaped out of the way just as
the hunk of metal crashed down onto the floor. Baxter stood up and seethed at
the broken parts of his robot. He then spotted a note that flew down to the
ground. He picked it up and it read, “Guess your project is now 100%
defective! -Sir Pentious.”
“I’LL SKIN THAT SERPENT ALIVE OR UNDEAD!”
Baxter screamed in rage as
Alastor’s shadow minion laughed again before vanishing.
0 0 0
Sir Pentious and Baxter stormed into the parlor, almost wrestling each
other to the ground. Baxter stomped on Sir Pentious’ scales and the snake
grabbed Baxter’s esca and yanked it hard. Soon, they were yelling and rolling
on the ground.
“Break it up!” Vaggie bellowed as Charlie looked on in concern. Vaggie
tore the two men off each other. Charlie held down a seething Sir Pentious,
while Vaggie held a bellowing Baxter back. Alastor watched in the background
with red glowing eyes and an evil yellow grin. Niffty, Husk, and Angel Dust sat
on the couch with popcorn in their hands. The two men stood up, eyes blinking
and glaring on their bodies as they briefly turned into their more demonic
forms.
“This sneaky old snake has been messing around with my latest
invention!” Baxter bellowed.
“Oh, shut up!” Sir Pentious hissed. “I know you destroyed my zeppelin earlier
in my workshop!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about! Old fart!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about! Neurotic juvenile!”
“Will both of ya shut the fuck up and let’s go sign up already?!”
Angel Dust cried. “The expo is startin’ in several hours!” He pointed outside
to a line of demons heading to the clocktower.
“No, Angel!” Vaggie and Charlie protested at the same time, but Angel
Dust was already out the door, carrying his trusty collection of guns. Sir
Pentious and Baxter raced back to their lairs to finish their inventions.
“Okay, then!” they both said. “We’ll be back!”
Vaggie groaned in frustration. “With the drugs and the weapons
accessible, Angel is never gonna redeem himself!”
“Let’s focus on one problem at a time,” Charlie encouraged her
girlfriend, putting a hand on her shoulder.
A few hours later, Sir Pentious and Baxter raced out the door, their
minions carrying their respective inventions behind them underneath heavy-duty
coverings. Sir Pentious gasped and stumbled as he glanced down.
“Watch out, swine!” Sir Pentious yelped as he nearly tripped on Angel
Dust’s pet pig Fat Nuggets, who was strutting in the lobby. The pig squeaked
and ran back to Angel Dust’s room. Sir Pentious slithered to catch up to the
mad fish scientist, his Egg Boiz chattering excitedly behind him. The inventors
seethed at each other as they made their way through the crowd of demons. They
made it to the black podium stand near the clocktower, where Vox stood with the
sign-up papers in front of him.
Vox revealed a grin of cyan teeth. “Sir Pentious! Baxter! How lovely
to see you two fine gentlemen today.”
“How do you know my name, TV man?” barked Baxter as he scribbled his
name and invention onto the paper.
“I know things,” Vox leaned in. “Quite simple, really.” With one last
flip of the bird to the serpent, Baxter ran off with his invention, trying to
find a spot away from the dense crowds.
Then Vox sneered at Sir Pentious. “So, the failure spy has come back
to see me. Don’t expect any praise.”
Sir Pentious looked off to the side and wrote down his name and
invention in the contestant slot for the Pride Ring.
“What makes you think you can win this expo, after you could barely
follow through with your task?” Vox asked, his eye moving in hypnotic circles.
Sir Pentious hissed, standing up straighter. “You don’t know my
strengths, you talking picture box! When I reveal my most vile, diabolical
device of doom, even you will shit your pants!”
Vox scoffed. “I’d like to see you try!”
“I’ve been in Hell for a long time!”
“So long, I think your gears are rusted,” Vox snickered.
“I’ll be the best inventor there is, and nothing will stop me! Not
that fish freak, not you, not that stupid hotel pig of theirs.”
“Wait, pig you say?” Vox asked, eyebrow raised.
“A pet owned by that spider sex creep, Angel drug something.”
Vox paused and an evil gleam sparked to life in his eyes. “Interesting.
Whatever you say.”
Sir Pentious huffed as he and his minions continued on toward the
convention. Vox grinned evilly. “You’ve actually been quite helpful this
time, Pentious…”
Vox held up his phone and tapped it with electricity from his finger.
“Vox?” came Velvette’s voice.
“Hey Velvette, baby, I have a little job for you…”
0 0 0
Charlie and Vaggie sat in the parlor worrying about Angel, Sir
Pentious, and Baxter.
Charlie put her face in her hands. “They’re gonna cause more trouble
with those weapons at the expo! I can’t afford to lose my clients!”
“That’s it. We have to go after them!” Vaggie said. “At least keep an
eye on them.” Vaggie looked at Husk. “Hey, lazy cat, you’re coming too!”
“Getting pulled into these shitty adventures for crying out loud,”
Husk groaned.
“What about Alastor?” Charlie asked.
Vaggie watched as Alastor leaned against the wall and smiled before
fading into the shadows.
“Forget it,” Vaggie said. “He only likes to watch us fight and fail.”
No one noticed a slender figure outside dressed in black with a hood
decorated with a pink <3 heart at the top. The figure tossed a grappling
hook, and it caught on the edge of a slot where a window was. The figure
climbed the rope and then pulled open the window. She stood inside Angel Dust’s
room, a menacing slender figure with magenta glowing eyes and an evil grin. Fat
Nuggets was drinking from a bowl of water. A shadow hovered over the pig. The
pig turned to the side with wide surprised eyes.
A loud shrieking demonic squeal rang through the hall. Niffty was
finishing dusting a vase and then froze.
“What was that?”
She darted over toward the source of the sound. She arrived at Angel’s
door, where it was decorated with neon pink hearts and pictures of Angel Dust,
Husk, and the girls. She opened the door but could only see an open window and
a figure running off into the distance with something struggling in a sack.
Niffty raced down the stairs and over to the girls, a worried
expression on her face. “Charlie! Vaggie!”
“What is it, Niffty?” Vaggie asked.
Niffty huffed. “I-I heard a loud squeal and I think the pig is gone!”
“What pig?” asked Vaggie. “One of Baxter’s monsters?”
“No! A pet! I think someone stole it!”
Husk then sat up with wider eyes. “Angel Dust’s pig?”
Niffty nodded.
Charlie gasped. “Oh no! Fat Nuggets! I completely forgot about him!”
Vaggie stood up, holding her spear. “How did someone get into the
hotel?!” She seethed. “I swear if
Alastor is up to this…”
“We don’t know that,” Charlie said. “Maybe…Fat Nuggets just ran away
after Angel Dust!”
“That pig always stays at the hotel and near Angel’s room,” said Husk.
He glowered. “I’m afraid Nif may be right.”
Everyone looked worried.
“Angel Dust’ll be heart-broken!” Charlie cried. “We have to save his
pet!”
“And stop those mad geniuses from causing any more trouble!” Vaggie
added. “Buckle up, Sinners, we’re going to an expo.”
“You know Charlie’s not a Sinner, right?” Husk said.
“I know that!” Vaggie roared.
“Oooh, I can’t wait to see some more bad boys!” Niffty giggled,
twirling her sewing needle.
“Keep an eye on her, “Vaggie said to Husk. Husk groaned as Niffty
briefly tugged on one of Husk’s cat ears.
Vaggie glared at Klein and several robot minions holding small tasers.
“Robot, guard the hotel.”
“At your service, Vagatha,” Klein replied, doing a robotic salute. “Bring back a victorious
Master Baxter!”
“No promises,” Vaggie called as she, Charlie, Husk, and Niffty headed
outside toward the convention.
0 0 0
Vox stood proudly in his usual suit outfit, broadcasting his expo live
on TVs throughout Hell. He grinned as he saw more demons attending and his
VoxTech views climbing every minute.
“Helluva hello, filthy demons of all ages! Welcome to Hell’s one of a
kind Weapons Expo! We have a horde of contestants from all over Hell’s Rings
and we’re very excited to see all their deadly weapons! But first, this expo is
sponsored by VoxTech’s Angelic Security, the ultimate protection app for any
extermination! Buy and upload today!”
The crowd cheered, already hypnotized by Vox’s words. Vox pressed a
button, and through electricity, everyone was transported to a nearby park with
more room for the show.
“Let’s meet today’s judges. Give it up for our old guy Zestial!”
The elder black spider-like Overlord demon wearing long black robes
and wearing a tall black top hat gazed at the crowd with several green eyes on
a black spider-like face. He took his place at a tall table with screens at the
front to allow him to see the various inventions. The table was covered with a
white cloth stained with red and black blood.
“Zeezi!”
A pink giant dinosaur Overlord lady with wild colorful hair and a tail
stomped over to her spot at the judges’ table.
“The head judge Carmilla Carmine herself!”
The angelic weapons dealer strode forward to her spot at the center of
the table. She was a slender woman with sharp white angelic ballet shoes
pointed like weapons. Her face was light gray, and she wore a dark gray mask
around her reddish eyes. One bang of her hair was black. She had white hair and
pointed horns on her head with thin black stripes. Her hair ended in small
curls near her black hoop earrings. Her hands were giant and white with black
nails. She wore long black leggings with white crisscross designs, a black top
and her dress ended in sharp pointed ends like sword points. Her two daughters
Odette and Clara wandered around, looking at several other inventions and
writing on their clipboards.
“And Carmilla’s secret assistant, Charlie Carmine!”
Another woman took her spot next to Carmilla. She had tall red high-heel
boots decorated with barbed wire, dark red pants, a red dress with dark red
stripes on it and red goggles on her head. She had long red hair and large red
eyes with small black pupils. Her skin was white, but her left hand was giant
and red with a gear on it. Her arm was made of molten lava and could
shapeshift. She looked like a fusion of Sir Pentious and Cherri Bomb, with an
edgy steampunk look. Sir Pentious blushed when he spotted her face.
“Yeah, I didn’t know she existed either!” Vox admitted. “But she does the dirty work of
melding the weapons with angelic essence for Carmine and her daughters to sell!
Heard she died in the 1830s.”
Vox cleared his throat.
“And now…our contestants! Please come forward!”
Epic warrior music blared from the speakers as machines and
electricity towered toward the city. The audience applauded and stepped back to
allow more room. Through various colored portals in the red sky, demons
descended downward with their diabolical dangerous devices!
“Here comes the not-so sloth, Sloth Ring!”
Floating gracefully from the Sloth Ring were four demons with the
heads of goats and sheep. The first one had a pink goat’s head with a white
candle with a pink flame on it. His name was Hypno. The second was a sheep that
looked at peace, with a candle of a teal flame on her head: Zeezee. The third
was a strong bull demon with long curved horns and a blue flame: Morphi. The
last was a white sheep with a lavender candle on his head: Lulla. All four wore
white doctor’s coats.
They landed on the ground before the crowds.
“Greetings, fellow Prides,” sang Hypno the leader. “We present our amazing invention sure to
keep you content…for a long time!”
Hypnos and Morphi held up a long pink ray gun which read “Deep Sleep
Dreams,” in light pink. “Fly high, folks!” sang Lulla.
Zeezee pressed a button, and teal beams of hypnotic rays pulsed over
toward the crowd. Many demons instantly swayed and had drugged happy looks on
their faces as distorted lullaby music played.
“We have your favorite drugs and substances flowing in our machine! We
can mimic any drug of your choice!” sang Hypnos. “Ecstasy, crack, meth, angel dust, you name it!” He
mentioned to the various glowing substances in the see-though veins of the
device.
“Did somebody call me?!” Angel Dust called out from the background.
With an evil grin on his face, Hypnos pressed more buttons. Various
colored rays shot out, causing the demons nearest to the device to laugh
uncontrollably, fight each other, fall asleep, scream in agony, or drop dead
completely.
There was a rather sleepy round of applause as the judges examined
their device, Carmine’s daughters careful not to get too close.
“A sleep ray? Boring!” Sir Pentious dramatized.
“Don’t get lazy! Cast your votes now!” Vox began with a fake yawn. He
cleared his throat.
“Don’t get too jealous, but the Envy Ring is next!”
A gush of ocean water spilled out from the purple portal and a triad
of aquatic demons with many eyes morphed before the audience. Three demons
stood before them, one blue, one green, and one teal. Their names were Shimmer,
Glimmer, and Swimmer. Swimmer was a teal female, Glimmer was a green female
creature, and Shimmer was the blue male leader. They were all slender with fish
fins, eyes all over their bodies and their arms like tentacles. They wore
clothing made of fish scales. Underwater otherworldly music played.
“Land-dwellers!” sang
Shimmer. “Prepare to meet your watery end!”
Shimmer held out a large golden trident and pressed a button. The
prongs extended and each turned into different things. The first one morphed
into a golden sword that shot out to stab some demons before being retracted
back into the device via a rope. The second prong opened up to a hole that
fired fish nets that electrocuted several captured demons. The final metallic
prong in the middle opened up and fired acidic water onto more demons, melting
them instantly. Swimmer grabbed a struggling pink demon and held him in front
of her partner. Glimmer held a smaller blue gun to the demon’s face and open
mouth that sucked out all the water in the pink demon’s body, causing
dehydration. The pink shriveled demon dropped dead at their feet. More
applause.
“Big deal,” Baxter scoffed. “I’m the ultimate water creature!” He
grinned and held his small sea serpent in a jar.
“Water you waiting for? Cast your votes!” Vox chuckled. “Time to get aroused by the sexy folk from
Lust!”
Seductive club music played as a horde of pink succubi and incubi with
small bat wings and BDSM clothing descended down from the dark blue portal. The
group was called XXXtreme, and they had various names: Phallo, Booby, Clitora, Lubey,
Vaga, among others. They did seductive dancing around poles and displayed
phallus shaped torpedoes, cannons, and guns. One succubus fired a gun that shot
out condoms and sex toys that exploded. Another one of their weapons shot out
acid semen and noxious gas. And, of course, there were love potions.
“Oh, yeah, I’m gettin’ hot already!” Vox chuckled. “These performing inventors are going for the green!
Give it up for Greed!”
Circus music blared as a group of performers danced and flipped out of
the green portal. Six demons dressed like jesters came down to the ground: The Fearsome
Freaks. One jester wearing a striped skirt balanced on a ball, juggling rainbow
bombs before tossing them into the air. The bombs exploded into fireworks as
the audience cheered. A large shirtless tan male demon spun a pole into the
air, the two ends lit with green flames that gradually turned red. After
spinning the pole, he popped a flaming sword into his mouth before spitting it
out at several bystanders.
“We feed on Greed! We feed on Greed! Glory is all we need!” sang the Greed contestants.
A third performer female hollered war cries as she rode a demonic
elephant covered with green armor, the many-eyed gray beast trampling more
screaming demons. She also fired a gun accurately at several dummy targets as
she balanced upside down. The fourth performer threw angelic knives at targets
with his eyes closed. The fifth spun through the air, firing fiery bullets
through the air in a spectacular dance. The sixth one just stood under a green
spotlight telling bad weapon jokes.
“What is Satan’s favorite gun? A caliber 6.6.”
“Bravo, bravo!” Vox clapped as the bloodstained performers bowed.
“Show-offs,” muttered Sir Pentious.
Vox continued. “Sickenly sweet with plenty to eat! Here comes
Gluttony!”
Through the yellow-gold portal came four muscular Hellhounds, who
howled in triumph as they came down to the ground as club music blasted in
every direction.
“Let’s get this party started, hooligans!” chorused the black Hellhound leader, who had
named his group the Hellhound Hooligans. Bael was the back hound leader, and he
carried a black electric guitar that shot out deadly electricity at demons
whenever he played it. All the Hellhounds wore colorful party clothes, boots,
jeans, and torn shirts.
“Taste the honey, fuckers!” sang an excited tan Hellhound, Bella, who held a large cannon that
fired alcohol bottles of intoxicating honey at the crowd, who reached out for
them in excitement. The demons danced and dodged more attacks from the
contestants, including Beezi the white female Hellhound’s very explosive bomb
pies and poisonous pink cotton candy. Bubba the brown hound laughed and
demonstrated her flips and tricks, using an axe on a chain to swing at various
demons.
“Don’t be late to the party…vote now!” called Vox.
“They make me sick to my stomach,” Baxter remarked.
“Y’all know the roughest, toughest warriors in Hell, they’re all the
rage in Wrath!” called Vox.
There was a roaring of cheers and western rock music as a dozen Wrath
Ring imps charged from an orange portal, riding on stallions with flaming
manes. The Wrathful West Warlords were one of the finest fighter groups and
blacksmiths in all of Hell and it was easy to see why. Two muscular imps
wearing cowboy hats led from the front on motorcycles, wearing spiked armor.
Following the two imps were four other males who came toward the
audience and showed off their angelic weapons. One held two broad swords that
had been forged in the volcanos in Wrath. Another showed off a mace that shot
out spikes as he swung it around. A third imp drove a large black tank into the
park and a fourth imp did a presentation of various torture devices. A dozen
more imps wearing cowboy hats, knight armor, samurai armor or general uniforms,
danced in a line as they flaunted their well-crafted destructive tools. Maces,
swords, knives, throwing stars, cannons, katanas, cutlasses, revolvers, rifles,
bombs…Wrath Ring had every kind of weapon from all kinds of time periods at
their disposal!
“Nothing beats classic war anger!” said Vox. “Vote, vote, vote!”
“And finally, here come our proud Sinner contestants from right here
in Pride!”
As royal music with a circus flair briefly played, the audience gasped
in awe as the contestants were announced.
“SIR PENTIOUS!”
“BAXTER!”
“ANGEL DUST!”
“CHERRI BOMB!”
“CRYMINI!”
“LOOPTY GOOPTY!”
“LYLE LIPTON!”
The seven Sinners came forward, revealing their masterpiece
inventions. They sang as their inventions were analyzed and tested. Vox was
enjoying all the chaos and calamity.
“Sinners! Cower before me!” Sir Pentious sang.
“When this day is done, you all will adore me!
My new zeppelin is running and here!
The Soulslayer 20,000 is your new worst fear!”
The new zeppelin hovered in the air; now black with the outer shell
made of snake scales. The windows were red, and the weapons extended from an
opening in the front of the ship that looked like a serpent’s mouth. There was
even a large black hat structure that was added on top of the ship with a round
window at the top that allowed for more surveillance. Sir Pentious laughed
evilly as the Egg Boiz inside fired the cannons. Several destructive blasts
shot out from the extended cannons in the zeppelin, razing parts of the city.
“Not so fast, fool of the past!” Baxter fired back in song.
“For my day of glory is here at last!
Brace yourselves for Destructo Doombot,
Initiate the Baxter Blast!”
Baxter laughed manically and pressed a button. A giant blue robot with
slender flexible legs and six weaponized arms towered onto the scene. The robot
fired a wide range of blasts, shooting acidic water onto the buildings.
Charlie, Vaggie, Husk, and Niffty raced as fast as they could toward
the park. They narrowly avoided a falling roof and a water splash several feet
away. The asphalt street cracked and crumbled before them.
“This is mayhem madness!” Vaggie cried in song. “The city’s gonna blow! I knew we shouldn’t
have let them go! If we don’t get them back to the hotel…things will not end
well!”
“I think we can still reason with them, it’ll be fine,” Charlie sang back before her eyes widened, “There’s
not much time!”
“Stab! Stab! Stab!” Niffty trilled in song.
“Vox doesn’t care for the city at all. He’ll gladly grab at money and
see us fall,” Vaggie
added in anger.
“Any ridicule from Vox…Sir Pentious cannot take it. Just a little
further…we can make it!” Charlie
huffed.
“All this running around, I’ve had enough,” Husk growled.
“Bad boys so strong and tough!” Niffty grinned.
Angel Dust posed with several guns in his hands on stage. Vox scoffed.
“Another one bites the Angel Dust!” Angel Dust grinned in song, striking a pose. “Bang, bang!” He
held a small gun and squeezed a button. A small flag came out of the slot which
read “Eat my dust.” Several of Angel Dust’s porn fans swooned and cheered. “Come
too close and get caught in my web.” One of his guns fired a pink spider
web, capturing several winged demons. “I can fuck hard and fight hard,”
he smirked. He grew six arms and fired his weapons all at the same time,
earning more cheers and claps from the crowd.
Cherri Bomb and Crymini posed together, each holding a bomb in their
hands. Cherri Bomb had white skin and a single cyclops eye. She wore a pink
tank top with xs on it, one of her white shoulders revealed. She had torn black
pants and tall pink high heel boots. Her hair was blonde with pink highlights
done in a ponytail. Crymini the hyena Sinner grinned next to Cherri Bomb, her
fur white and dark pink. Her eyes were yellow with pink iris. She wore a spiky
black collar, and a short pink dress with a white skull on it. Her legs were
spotted, one had black stripes, and one had pink spots. She also had a thick
pink and white tail that matched her thick long bangs of hair near her pointed
ears.
“Dames of destruction, relish in the arson,” Cherri Bomb began, tossing a pink bomb that
exploded into pink smoke in the sky. She brandished a small metal shooter that
fired sticks of dynamite into the distance that let out more explosions.
“Never afraid to make our mark,” Crymini added in song, as she sprayed red graffiti onto a nearby wall
that read, “BAD BITCHEZ RULE THE WORLD!”
“Rebellious streak hotter than Hell’s center,” Cherri Bomb grinned, doing spectacular flips, and
fighting poses. She and Angel Dust posed side by side and grinned.
“We say ‘bomb’s away,’ to our blown-to-bits foes,” Crymini harmonized, using a torch like a
paintbrush to create flaming designs and words in different colors on the
ground: “ROCK YOUR SOCKS OFF!”
Sir Pentious blushed in secret as Cherri Bomb threw one final bomb
behind her that exploded in pink smoke. Like Rosie, she was attractive to
him…just in a different, less-formal way. He had never seen a woman so tough,
so rambunctious…and so beautiful before…at least not during his time in Hell.
Cherri Bomb had spunk and despite being an annoying rival…Sir Pentious couldn’t
help but feel there was something more…
At the same time Crymini and Cherri Bomb finished, two rival Sinner
inventors rolled and spiraled onto the scene. The two men glared at each other,
but still seemed to work together, if not to prove themselves better than
everyone else.
“I am Loopty Goopty, dastardly inventor of all things loopy and
loopish!”
A tall slender demon arrived, riding on a spiral of black metal loops,
almost as if they were extensions of himself. He wore tall lime green boots and
a black suit with a green color on his waist and a green upward spiral on the
chest. He had a red cape and red gloves on his hands. He had wavy tall red
horns on his head, red skin, a long nose, and a cliche villain black mustache.
He also had a black top hat with a green rim and green hypnotic goggles over
his eyes.
Lyle Lipton rolled into action, wearing a green suit with a red
undershirt, black sleeves, and green gloves. He revealed a grin of piano teeth
and a wavy white mustache obscured part of his light green face. He wore a
small black top hat with a red rim and red hypnotic goggles. The lower half of
him was black with red stripes…he had no legs but could roll fast to get
around.
“I am Lyle Lipton, experimenter of the poor and inventor of endless
youth!”
The two Sinners posed in front of their zeppelin ship.
“Look at my loops!” sang the eccentric Loopty Goopty, reaching his hand to swing himself
from building to building. He danced and spun in his own spirals before coming
back to the ground.
“React to my rolls!” added Lyle Lipton as he crashed through walls unharmed with his speedy
rolling body. “Face the music, demons! I have achieved supervillain
strength!”
“We shall bring glory to ourselves and be heralded as your vile
saviors!” Loopy Goopy added, arms
extended, grabbing demons and squeezing them. “For we are dead but cannot
die!”
“So that makes you like Frankenstein,” Lyle Lipton said to him. “An eccentric loopy
zombie.”
Loopty Goopty paused and turned to him. “Says you, piano man! You
got owned by a piano and now you roll in your own ego.”
“At least I didn’t get killed by my own invention!” Lyle Lipton fired back.
“Oh, the heat is on, folks!” Vox called as he relished their arguments. “Let’s see what the
judges have to say.”
The judges first looked at the Sloth Ring inventions combined with the
votes.
“Good for drug parties, otherwise…nay,” Zestial remarked.
“SUPER COOL!” remarked the dinosaur Overlord.
“Needs more gore,” Charlie Carmine remarked.
Carmilla Carmine said, “Okay inventions but I sense a rather…lazy
effort.”
“On to Envy!” called
Vox.
“I thinketh the design creative but too confined to water,” Zestial
said.
“A GOLDEN TRIDENT WITH WEAPONS INSIDE? WHAT A FINTASTIC CLASSIC!” exclaimed
the dinosaur, banging her fists on the table.
“Eh, not bad,” said Charlie Carmine.
“No angelic power and a half-assed display of bravado,” remarked
Carmilla Carmine in disapproval.
“Lust!” called Vox.
“Eweth,” Zestial remarked with a disgusted look.
“AROUSING AND DEADLY! I LOVE IT!” smiled the dinosaur.
“Kinda pathetic. Not steampunk enough,” remarked Charlie Carmine.
“Yeah…no,” said a disgusted Carmilla Carmine. “Save your tools for the
bedroom.”
“Greed!” Vox
continued.
“A circus performance doth not equal true brutality. Maketh more
war-like,” Zestial commented.
“CIRCUS PERFORMANCE WAS DYNAMIC AND WILD! ENCORE, ENCORE!” stomped the
dinosaur lady.
“Indeed, very creative,” said Charlie Carmine, “But still not my
favorite style.”
“Like clowns playing with toys and lacking cold strategy,” Carmilla
Carmine scoffed.
“Gluttony!”
“A shooter that fires drugs, food, and alcohol…a fruitless child’s toy
on the battlefield,” said Zestial. “Thou should be ashamed.”
“WHOO! PARTY WEAPONS AND INCREDIBLE BOMBS! DO MORE!” cheered the
dinosaur Overlord.
“Boring,” said Charlie Carmine. “Needs more sharpness and less
blinding colors. Though…I would like that recipe for the rotten candy.”
“Juvenile and ill-crafted,” said Carmilla Carmine.
“Wrath!”
“Me thinketh thou imps put on a spectacular show. A classic example of
the grace, brutality, and effectiveness of war and thine culture,” remarked a
pleased Zestial.
“YES! YES! CAN I JUST SAY YES!” beamed the dinosaur Overlord.
“Are you really approving everything?” asked a skeptical Charlie
Carmine. “But yes, I very much approve their work.”
“Very impressive, fine craftsmanship,” Carmilla Carmine said in
approval for the first time. “Just tone down the wrath…a lot.”
The board read:
Sloth: 12
Envy: 13
Lust: 8
Greed: 16
Gluttony: 10
Wrath: 20
“And…Pride!” announced
Vox.
Sir Pentious and Baxter were tied. Loopty Goopty was in third place,
Lyle Lipton was in fourth, Cherri Bomb was fifth, and Crymini was in sixth.
And then…
“The porn star is out,” Carmilla Carmine remarked, glancing down after
Odette came up to her.
“What? Why?!” Angel Dust asked angrily as boos were heard.
“This is a weapons expo, not a porn show.”
“I gotta show off my stuff at some point. Look how good I am at
fightin’!”
“You do have great skill, but I’ve seen better.”
Angel Dust slumped and walked off the stage just as Charlie, Vaggie,
Husk, and Niffty reached him.
Angel Dust fumed after he spotted the small piece of paper that was in
front of Carmilla Carmine that hadn’t been there before. On it was Vaggie’s
handwriting: “I’m just after the prize money. – Angel Dust.” Vaggie had told
Odette about a “really important customer inquiring about fighting techniques.
Here is the number.”
Angel Dust wasn’t happy.
“Bitch!” he spat at Vaggie. “You made Carmilla drop me out!”
“We have to get you back to the hotel,” Vaggie said. “You could’ve
used that money for more drugs! Or who knows how mad you’ve have gotten if you
had stayed longer.”
“That prize money could’ve helped me pay off my debts to Val!”
“Well, thank goodness you’re okay!” Charlie said, wanting to change
the subject.
Angel Dust glared. “What you ya mean, ‘thank goodness?!’ None of these
people know true talent when they see it.”
“I told you that entering the contest was a bad idea,” Vaggie reprimanded.
“Killing is not allowed for you anymore!”
Angel Dust shrugged, hands out. “I didn’t kill anyone! I swear!” Angel
Dust glanced back at two wounded demons he had shot earlier. “Well maybe a
little…”
“Hotel. Now,” Vaggie glared, pulling him along.
“Wait,” said Charlie. “Baxter and Sir Pentious!”
“What about ‘em?” Angel Dust asked.
“Look,” said Husk, pointing to the stage. Niffty had popcorn in her
hands with an excited grin.
“The final feud is on, folks!” Vox announced. “After Wrath coming in
second, we are down to our two finalists! Mad Inventor Sir Pentious and Mad Scientist
Baxter!”
(“I’m The Sinner Winner!” song)
The two men pushed buttons on their own remotes and their battle
inventions rumbled to life in the distance.
The crowd cheered and voted some more as the two Sinners glared
daggers, put on their goggles, and began to clash. They were each lifted up by
their minions, rising into the air. Like boys in battle suits, they comically
exchanged punches and insults. The Egg Boiz stumbled and held each other’s
hands, also trying to support their master. Several Egg Boiz broke the glass of
a few Piscines, causing the biotic fish to spill out. But more Egg Boiz got
cracked from metallic punches from the robots.
Sir Pentious and Baxter circled each other as the crowd watched. Sir
Pentious briefly hypnotized Baxter, causing him to stumble and nearly lose his
balance. But one shock from one of Baxter’s robots tazed the snake in the tail,
allowing Baxter to snap out of the trance. In the background, the zeppelin and
Baxter’s Destructo robot also fought each other. The giant robot tried to crush
the warship in its metal hand, but a rapid barrage of bullets briefly blinded
the giant Baxter-lookalike robot.
“I’m the Sinner Winner!” Sir Pentious and Baxter sang at the same time in a duel, seething.
“You may think you’re hot shit, but you’re just a beginner!”
“I’ll wipe the floor with your fishy face!” Sir Pentious hissed.
“Your slow brain cannot match my pace!” Baxter retorted.
“Cower before my steampunk splendor!” Sir Pentious grinned, gears grinding behind him.
Charlie Carmine grinned in approval.
“Watch your confidence get mixed in a blender!” Baxter scoffed, shaking a flask of teal liquid
that fizzed with steam. Carmilla Carmine facepalmed at the idiocy of Vox and
the contest.
“Without my work, yours wouldn’t exist!” Sir Pentious sang.
“Mine is a recognizable improvement, I insist!” cackled Baxter.
“You weren’t even in the first season!”
“I enjoy being alone for a reason!”
“I should fire you again for treason!”
“In your body, I’ll add a lethal lesion!”
They both sang at the same time.
“I’m the Sinner Winner!”
“I’m the Sinner Winner!”
“You may think you’re hot shit, but you’re just a beginner!”
“You may think you’re hot shit, but you’re just a beginner!”
“I’ll make sure the ass anglerfish drowns once again!”
“I’ll make sure the sissy shit
snake gets roasted alive!”
“All will bow in my coils!”
“All will be my lab subjects!”
“And now I say, farewell mother…”
And now I say lebewohl you piece of…”
“STOP!” Charlie, Vaggie, Husk, and Niffty shouted at the same time. Charlie
briefly flared in her demonic form before reverting back.
Baxter and Sir Pentious paused as Vox himself stepped onto the stage,
slowly clapping.
At long last, both of their inventions groaned, fizzled, and collapsed
at the same time. The zeppelin crashed and exploded to the ground in green
smoke, while the robot slammed to the ground in an explosion of metal and teal
light. Many demons flew backward from the force of the explosions. Charlie and
the others ducked for cover, rising only when the smoke had cleared.
Baxter and Sir Pentious both slumped in disappointment and frustration
as their minions gently lowered them to the ground and scampered off. They
brushed themselves off and breathed hard.
“D-did I win?” Sir Pentious asked with a nervous grin.
“Congratulations to both of you!” Vox grinned, arms out. “That was an
amazing performance! So incredible that I now have 6.6 billion views on
VoxTube. Now, to determine the final winner. Sir Pentious…”
Sir Pentious gulped.
“Since you’re the oldest, you have the privilege of coming forward for
your demonstration. I have examined one of your weapons and it appears to have
transmutation powers?”
“Yes,” said Sir Pentious as Vox gave him his small gray gun with
various settings on it. “It can turn things into monsters without having
to grow them in a tank,” Sir Pentious smirked at Baxter. “But I have yet to
make some modifications…”
“Too late for that,” said Vox. “Now’s the time to prove your worth! If
you can successfully demonstrate the effectiveness of your weapon, you win the
contest!”
Sir Pentious beamed, his eyes wide with tears. “Really?”
Vox nodded. “And gain my approval back! And win lots of money! And
brag in Baxter’s face!” Baxter folded his arms.
Sir Pentious had an evil smirk on his face. His dream was coming true
at last!
“But if you lose, well…I guess
I’ll have to ask Baxter to do it instead!”
Baxter grinned, but Sir Pentious folded his arms. “He won’t even get a
chance!” Sir Pentious loaded his gun. “Let’s get started!”
“Whether it works or not, at least you can say you tried,” Vox said.
“Yes,” said Sir Pentious, aiming the gun. Velvette appeared and pushed
a cart forward with a cloth on it to Sir Pentious.
“I present to you…your test subject!” Vox grinned. “Begin!”
Velvette removed the cloth and underneath it was…
“FAT NUGGETS?!” Angel Dust cried in shock.
Sure enough, the pet pig was struggling and squealing on the table as
his hooves were restrained by small chains.
“SIR PENTIOUS, DON’T!” Charlie yelled.
Sir Pentious looked taken aback. “The swine pet?” He pointed a finger.
“So, it was you who stole the pig from the hotel!”
“All thanks to you mentioning it,” Vox smirked. Sir Pentious
lowered his eyes as Vaggie and Angel Dust burned holes in his soul with their
stares.
“Go ahead, snake man…turn this runt into a monster and you’ll be back
to true Overlord status!”
“B-but I could kill him!”
“Who cares? You’ll still be rewarded no matter what, I promise!”
persuaded Vox.
“Sir Pentious, don’t shoot,” Charlie pleaded.
“You kill my pet and I’ll make sure you’re double dead!” Angel Dust
snarled at the snake, tears in his eyes. He aimed his gun at Vox, but Vox held
up a hand. “Wouldn’t do good for Hell’s hottest porn star to strike an Overlord.
Especially if my sexy buddy Val found out, heh?”
Angel Dust wavered, hands shaking on his weapon. He was at a
standstill. If he were to attack Vox, Velvette could roast his beloved pet to
bacon. Vox also grinned at the Hazbin crew. “So nice of you lowly has-beens to
join us!”
“Stop trying to mock us and my hotel!” Charlie bared her teeth. “As
the princess, I demand you to let Fat Nuggets go!” Vaggie gave her a proud
look.
“No one in Hell listens to royalty,” Vox purred in a low voice, moving
a menacing electric gloved finger toward Fat Nuggets. “One step and he’s
toast.”
Sir Pentious’ eyes darted around, sweat beading his face. Velvette
kicked one of his Egg Boiz for good measure.
“He’s trying to divide us so the hotel fails!” Charlie called. “You
already said, ‘sorry.’ Now it’s time to act for the good of your friends!”
“We’re not friends,” Baxter stated.
“Stop ruining it!” Vaggie barked.
It was all up to Sir Pentious now.
Vox grinned. “You have no friends to begin with! So…what’s it gonna
be, Sir Pentious? Wanna be the vilest villain you were destined to be? Or will
you always be a good for nothing joke of a failure?”
The tension built as the snake’s hands shook holding the weapon. He
stared into Angel Dust’s angry eyes, Charlie’s pleading ones, Vox’s hypnotic
orbs…and the innocent sweet eyes of Fat Nuggets who gave him a somber look.
“I…I…”
Sir Pentious inched forward, closer and closer and closer…
“I think I’m gonna slip!”
He stumbled on his tail and fell forward onto the table. Velvette
gasped as Sir Pentious nearly fell on top of Fat Nuggets. Sir Pentious and the wheeled
cart rolled forward past Velvette and off the stage. Velvette fired rounds from
her gun, but the bullets bounced off Sir Pentious harmlessly. Sir Pentious gave
Baxter a look, pointing at the chains. Baxter nodded and fired a few blasts
from a gun, breaking apart the chains and freeing the frightened Fat Nuggets.
“FUCK!” Vox roared as Sir Pentious held the pig close in his arms and
raced over toward Angel Dust. More bullet blasts caused Sir Pentious to slow
down, making him nearly drop the pig. Vaggie pointed her spear at Velvette, who
had tried to grab Sir Pentious from behind. Sir Pentious tossed the pig to
Angel Dust just as Vox tackled him to the ground. The crowd cheered and
chanted, “Fight! Fight! Fight!” Fat Nuggets nuzzled into Angel Dust’s white fur
and the spider demon sighed in relief.
Vox had Sir Pentious in a chokehold, but Baxter aimed one of his
weapons at him.
“Back off, I say!”
Vox chuckled as he stood up. “Trying to save your own rival now?”
“The only one who can kill him…is me!” Baxter spat. He shot a blast at
Vox, who let go of Sir Pentious and raced off in pain.
Charlie helped Sir Pentious up. She and Vaggie supported him, his arms
on their shoulders as the Egg Boiz lifted his lower serpent body.
Vox stood up. He and Velvette soon found themselves outnumbered by the
Hazbins. Carmilla Carmine also looked at him in disapproval. Vox stared
nervously at the cameras. “Sorry about this interruption, folks! Due to
unplanned circumstances, I officially declare the winner of this weapons expo
to be…ME!”
Vox posed as the golden VoxTech Angelic Security logo appeared on the
screen. “Because let’s face it, the greatest weapon of all is the one used on
the mind, ears, and eyes…the most subtle weapon of all! Magnificent media!
Horray for me!”
Many demons cheered while several others booed. Cherri Bomb and
Crymini took a selfie together, posing as explosions and flames flashed in the
background. Crymini had managed to snatch some of the prize money. They labeled
their Voxtagram photo with #BestWeaponsExpoEver. The brave demons who avoided
the chaos exchanged tools and inventions. Some took selfies with the various
scientists and inventors, grinning when they got their creations signed by
them.
“YOU FRAUD!” yelled Lyle Lipton and Loopty Goopy to Vox. “You stole
our victory!” Vox mentioned for one of his managers to stop the Hazbins. Vox
fled the scene in a flash of electricity, leaving Velvette to run to her pink
and purple fancy car on foot. She zoomed away, barely escaping the enraged
inventors.
“Take that, shark fiend!” Baxter shouted as one of Vox’s managers
rushed at him with a taser.
Baxter hit the manager with his cactus juice ray, making him drop the
taser. He began dancing like a chicken and saying everything he hated about
Vox…live on TV. “Vox wants Alastor to notice him!” “Voot Floop cereal is
overrated!” (No one ever saw him again after that.)
“Let’s get outta here!” called Angel Dust, holding Fat Nuggets in his
arms.
“What happened, Sir Pentious?” asked Charlie.
“I…uh…sorta tripped…on purpose.”
Husk grinned. “Clever trick, kid. Wasn’t expecting that from you.”
Charlie gave Sir Pentious a hug and he winced a bit. “I knew you had a
good heart!”
There was a sudden roar and a shaking of the ground. The Hazbins
slowly looked up. Demons screamed and scrambled away as Baxter’s blue sea
monster towered over them. The monster let out a thunderous screech and
promptly crunched a screaming demon in its mouth.
“BAXTER!” Vaggie raged.
“HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT SO MANY EXPLOSIONS WOULD ALLOW IT TO
ESCAPE FROM THE JAR?” he yelled over the noise.
“SHRINK IT BEFORE IT DEVOURS US ALL!” Charlie yelped, stepping back.
But then Niffty jumped up and down. “I HAVE A GREAT IDEA!”
“What, Niffty?” Husk asked.
The Hazbins soon found themselves screaming and riding on the scaly
back of the many-eyed monster as it slithered back to the hotel.
“THIS IS FUCKING INSANE, NIFFTY!” Charlie cried, holding on for dear
life.
Baxter was using his pulsing esca to guide the beast as much as he
could. Husk, Vaggie, a hurt Sir Pentious, and Charlie screamed as they bobbled
up and down, nearly falling off. “WHEEE!” cried Niffty in excitement as Baxter
cackled at the front near the monster’s head. Baxter hollered, “I KNEW MY
INVENTIONS WOULD COME IN HANDY!”
The Egg Boiz got to work stitching up Sir Pentious’ wounds, while the
Piscine Machines helped keep the serpent calm, using telepathic communication
through their escas.
“Angel,” Sir Pentious said, in a softer voice. “I don’t expect you to
forgive me after my spying on you and almost losing your pig…”
Angel Dust shot him an angry look.
“…but I sincerely apologize for my selfish behavior. No more showing
off weapons from now on…”
Vaggie smiled.
“…at least in public.”
Vaggie’s face briefly fell but she shrugged. She figured that Sir
Pentious would continue to improve.
“I’m proud of you, Pentious,” Charlie said.
“I’m a loser,” he said, dejectedly.
“No, you’re not,” Charlie comforted. “You saved Fat Nuggets and
hopefully learned your lesson with Baxter. Plus, you stood your ground against
Vox. That was amazing!” Vaggie nodded in approval as well.
Baxter and Sir Pentious folded their arms, but they no longer argued.
“Hey, why’d you save Sir Pentious from Vox?” asked Husk to Baxter.
“Vox just made me mad,” Baxter claimed. “I don’t care about Sir
Pentious.”
“Perhaps you admit I have some prowess,” said Sir Pentious.
Baxter scratched his neck. “Well…yeah…that was pretty clever what you
did to save the pig.”
Sir Pentious beamed.
“Well, both of you technically lost the expo contest…” Vaggie said.
“I think it was a tie,” said Charlie, trying to cheer them up.
Baxter sighed. “Well since we both lost our inventions and perhaps our
lives…perhaps I will refrain from quarrelling with you.”
“Same,” said Sir Pentious.
Charlie smiled.
“But that doesn’t mean we’re friends!” Baxter spat.
“Wholeheartedly agree with you!” Sir Pentious snapped.
“Wonderful, Baxter! You’re improving also!” Charlie exclaimed.
“Finally something you two can agree on,” remarked Husk.
Vaggie sighed, glancing at Charlie’s hopeful eyes again. “If you guys
promise not to leave the hotel or cause any more trouble, you may stay.”
Baxter and Sir Pentious smiled.
“But you both have to do your part to clean and defend the hotel. Plus
the redemption part.”
“I shall do my very best!” declared Sir Pentious.
“And shrink this beast for good when we get back,” ordered Vaggie to
Baxter.
Baxter sighed. “Okay. I’ll do my part too…as long as I don’t have to
participate in Charlie’s superficial social sessions too much. Or Angel Dust’s
sleazy acts.”
“It’s a deal,” said Vaggie.
Niffty raced down the beast’s side and snatched a pink smoothie from a
pair of demons at a table. She climbed back up, the bottom of the glass in her
mouth before scouting closer to Baxter. “You know…I’ve been interested in more
of your inventions.” She held out her smoothie to him. “Can you… tell me more?”
Baxter looked at the smoothie. “Where did you get that?!”
“Want some?” Niffty slurped from one of the straws.
“Yuck! Who knows who ate it!”
“We’ll be great friends, someday, I just know it! You’re just
so…slippery.” She giggled.
“Niffty,” groaned Husk as the beast headed back to the hotel as the
sun set.
0 0 0
Vox sat in his studio again, Velvette behind him, screens glowing in
the dark.
Vox furrowed his eyebrows. “I was so close to getting my views to be
the highest in all of Hell! I almost brought that hotel down, would’ve been
hilarious to see Angel Dust heartbroken! I knew I should’ve slaughtered that
swine when I had the chance!” He slammed a fist. He narrowed his eyes as he saw
the news: “Drama At Hell’s Weapon’s Expo! Vox’s Embarrassing Secrets?! Plus,
Snake And Fish, Who Would You Smash?”
“Well, we still have plenty of tricks up our sleeves,” said Velvette.
“Hell will eventually belong to us completely…it’ll just take time.”
“I’ll make sure no Sinners will ever be redeemed in that dump. No one
will ever leave Hell, especially from me. When I’m through with that little
princess and her rag tag bitches, every Sinner in Pentagram City will be
hanging on to every word I say for eternity!”
Vox grinned evilly, his eyes glowing red and his teeth glowing cyan in
the darkness.