Helluva Boss: "Queen Bee"

 

Loona sat alone in the back of a taxicab, the brown seats worn. She wore a short magenta-red dress with a black upside-down pentagram on the front. A spiked collar was around her neck. The same night that Blitzo had been on his date with Stolas at Ozzie’s, Loona had texted Vortex and snuck out to meet him at the party. Vortex had promised to invite her to the party back when they were on the beach during spring break.

 

Loona was not really a party goer, but she figured she’d give it a try, considering how good-looking Vortex was. She also figured she could use a break from being cooped up in her apartment with Blitzo or being stuck at the I.M.P. office all the time. Loona was surprised to discover that the party wasn’t in the Pride Ring, but instead was at a luxurious place for Hellhounds in the Gluttony Ring. It was one of the few places where the low-class canine citizens of Hell could unwind and lose themselves in a splendor of sensations.

 

Loona felt the cab go through a portal and the sky changed from a dull crimson to a bold orange. Outside were palm trees and exotic plants. Many of the buildings were restaurants, food stores, liquor shops, some hovels with drug dealers, strip clubs and the like. There was a similar theme to the city like in the Lust Ring, except many of the buildings had bright honey-comb designs on it. “Beelzebub’s Hell Kitchen” was posted on billboards and TV ads for a variety of foods and drinks flashed in all directions. “Welcome to Beelzehaven” danced on another large screen. Beelzebub was the princess of the Gluttony Ring and was known for her lavish parties, honey, and fabulous feasts of food.

 

Just then, Loona’s cell phone buzzed. Loona glanced down at it. “Blitz” was on the screen; her dad was trying to call her. She ignored it.

 

“You want me to drop you off here?” asked the female driver.

 

“Oh! Uh, yeah, yeah, this looks right,” said Loona. “I uh…haven’t been here before.”

 

Loona got out of the cab and gazed in amazement at the Gluttony Ring. Two orange wavy palm trees stood under an orange sky with honeycomb patterns. Nearby was a small teal bridge with honeycomb patterns and small pillars with blue/teal triangle designs on top. The bridge stood near a small flowing fountain of honey.

 

Loona texted Vortex:

“Hey, i’m her – oh shit - *here, sry. :)” “Tex!!” was also on the screen.

 

Loona looked up, her mouth agape. Several demons were outside dancing near a green leafy plant in a pot that looked like a gold beehive. Two blue honeycomb double doors led the way into the mansion, where demon figures were dancing inside. House music played as Loona spotted the magnificent honey-colored dome of the building, with the honeycomb pattern and three white marble structures holding the dome together.

 

Loona put her phone under her dress and flicked her hair back when…

 

“LOO-NA!” called Vortex, waving his paw. “Hey girl! Glad you could make it!”

 

Vortex strolled over to Loona, wearing his usual tattered jacket with red spikes on the top, a tattered black shirt, and pants. One of his eyes was white and blind, his other eye was white with red sclera. He had a hellhound tattoo on one of his muscular arms. His fur was many shades of dark grey.

 

“Tex! Yeah, hey! Thanks for inviting me,” smiled Loona as she and Vortex walked inside.

 

“Course, course!” Vortex replied before calling, “Hey everyone! Meet the new face!”

 

Loona blinked, suddenly feeling self-conscious. She waved softly as Vortex howled in excitement. The hellhounds inside howled in greeting. A white hound sat on a gold couch with an upside-down cross tattoo on his arm made of bones. A female dog wearing glasses over her red eyes, held a bottle in her paws. Another dog with a thick afro of hair and hoop earrings held a cup. They sat near a structure of interconnected hoops. Beelzebub’s sigil glowed golden on a honey wall in the background. Lava lamps with flowing honey inside served as the building’s pillars and honeycomb patterns decorated the floor, ceiling, walls, and balconies.

 

“You want a drink or anything?” Vortex asked, standing near a sky-blue Venus fly trap plant and white flowers.

 

“Oh, uh…sure, yeah, totally,” Loona replied. Vortex headed off.

 

A trio of imps stood off to the side, one of them with a broken horn. The Striker fangirl imp who had been assaulted at the Harvest Moon Festival, wandered around with an arm in a cast, a bee pin in her black hair.

 

 

Nearby, a group of Mean Girl hellhounds were talking amongst themselves.

 

The leader was a poodle with red sclera eyes, thick pink hair, a red bowtie on her head and long fake eyelashes. She wore a pearl necklace, red glasses, lipstick, a fluffy collar, and a gray-green mini-skirt with stars. Her tail was decorated with loops of fur and her claws had red nail polish on them. One of her friends wore a plain white shirt and dark pants and another hellhound was a dalmatian wearing a short dress, black on the top and pink on the bottom. All three teens wore red bowties.

 

“And so I told him, I’m not gonna go get it, unless you fucking throw it this time!” said the leader.

 

“That is so not fetch!” replied the dalmatian, waving her hand.

 

“Not fetch…” the leader smirked.

 

Loona, wanting to fit in, blurted out, “Hahaha! Yeah, like that happens all the time…ah ha…”

 

The three teens glared at her.

 

“O.M.G. Loona?” asked the leader, with an upturned nose. “Lunatic Loona? That you?”

 

Loona held her arm. “Uhhh, yeah, it’s Loona, yeah…”

 

The leader smirked. “Wow, I can’t believe you’re showing up to another party. I mean, do you even remember the last one?”

 

“I’m sure you’ll remind me,” Loona growled.

 

“Yeah, this, this is you, right?”

 

The leader smirked and showed a picture of Loona throwing up in a closet on her cell phone.

 

Loona growled. “Why do you still have that?”

 

“It brings me joy. You know you’re supposed to keep things that bring you joy.”

 

The leader scoffed, “Wow…you’re being really negative,” as Loona clenched her fists and growled more. “Your aura is really aggressive right now.”

 

“Oh yeah,” Loona retorted. “Well maybe because I’m in the presence of a massive BITCH!”

 

The crowd gasped.

 

“Oh, my dog, wow,” drawled the leader poodle teen.

 

“What?!” Loona exclaimed. “Is that not an okay thing to say?! Like, come on, it’s true!”

 

“You can’t say that!” called someone in the background.

 

“We’re in Hell, shut up!” barked Loona.

 

Vortex came back and handed Loona a cup. “Did I miss anything?”

 

“No, no, no…no, nothing…no,” Loona muttered, already feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable in this vast new place.

 

“HA HA! How my dirty bitches doing toniiight?!” called a female announcer. “THIS PARTY DON’T START ‘TIL I WALK IIIIN!” Imps and hounds rushed toward the center of the mansion and cheered. One wore a “BAD DOG” shirt and another hound with sunglasses and a “BALLER” shirt, howled in excitement before running off. A nearby bar provided Beelzejuice, a hard honey liquor, and a variety of candy-themed alcoholic drinks. (Rotten Candy, Bubble-Scum, Screech-Peach, Straw-scary and others.)

 

“OW, OW! Y’all ready to party with the Queen Bee of Gluttony?!” the voice called. “We be dyin’ young, come on!”

 

Vortex winked and mentioned for Loona to come along. Loona shyly followed him, taking a breath. A honey drink was in her cup. She walked through the crowd and glanced up at the high honeycomb ceiling. There were three levels above them, with hellhounds and imps up above by the balconies. All the ceilings were held in place by honey pillars. Hanging from the ceiling in the center was a honeycomb disco ball. A feminine figure with golden hair swirling with honey posed on a balcony railing between two honey pillars.

 

“Hell yeah! Let’s make the most of tonight! ‘Cause the honey is flowing tonight! And this bitch bout to get…”

 

She leaped…

 

“…FUCKIN’!...”

 

She landed on the disco ball and twirled around the pole… “…WILD!” The crowd cheered for their sexy princess hostess.

 

“LET’S GET IT STARTED! OW!” she called.

 

 

Loona started into her honey drink as a house song began to play.

 

“Golden Honey…Golden Honey,” the lyrics began as “Honey, Honey, Honey, Honey,” was spoken in higher and higher notes as the tempo increased. The figure lounged and posed on the large disco ball, until her appearance was revealed.

 

It was Beelzebub herself. She bore a similar extraverted demeanor to Vivziepop’s Kesha “Die Young” Zoophobia animal character. She was a fox-like demon with cream-colored fur, and large ears with bold reddish-pink stripes on them. Her chin was pointed and white and her nose was a small black heart. She had spotted markings on the sides of her face and a pink U mark on her forehead. Her eyes were light yellow sclera with magenta pupils and her eyebrows extended upward like antennae. The tips of her ears had black antennae as well. Her four arms displayed four-fingered nail-polished hands and she danced gracefully on two long legs. Beelzebub had two light-colored bee wings on her back.

 

She wore tattered short pink shorts with a lower dark pink stripe on them and a magenta tank top that had a strawberry pattern and a heart-shaped hole in the center for decoration. Black fingerless gloves were on her four arms. Her lower chest glowed with a variety of liquid colors of teal, pink and yellow like a lava lamp. She wore a three-pointed black crown on her head and the top of her hair was magenta, then teal, both in the shape of flames. Finally, her long tail and her long thick mane of hair swirled like thick honey and morphed into a variety of colors like rainbow lava lamps. She spun around the pole and sang.

 

“Hey! I’m what-chu need, I’m what-chu want”

 

She spun and twirled in the air.

 

“I got it all, a carnivale”

 

She flew up to a hound wearing a band aid on his face and a magenta jacket. She playfully touched his face and his eyes glowed magenta as he collapsed in delight.

 

“I’ll bring you up, I’ll take you down” (“Down” was sounded by a bass drop)

 

“I’m sticky sweet, stuck in your teeth like…”

 

“GOLDEN HONEY!” (Ah-ah, ah-ah)

 

Beelzebub posed as the lights changed, her hair turning teal, magenta, and purple.

“GOLDEN HONEY!” (Ah-ah, ah-oh)

 

She rose up into the air as smoke magic spun around her in pink.

 

Loona raised an eyebrow and then flinched as two hounds bellowed in adoration at the performance.

 

“GOLDEN HONEY!” (Ah-ah, ah-ah)

 

Using her magic, Beelzebub manifested a red bowl of honey in two hands and a purple bowl full of pink cotton candy in her other hands. She let go of the bowls and the cotton candy and honey showered through the air in pieces, landing in the mouths of the thrilled audience. The hounds stuffed the cotton candy into their mouths as Loona looked on.

 

“I’m what-chu want, not what-chu need” (Ah-ah, ah-oh)

 

Her hair turned purple as she posed and winked with a hand over her chest.

 

She sang and swayed her hips as she walked down the stairs.

 

“Hey, I don’t know why, I’m what-chu want, but it’s the truth.”

 

Three hound fans raced toward the bottom of the stairs. Beelzebub ran a hand along one of the hound’s teeth and he blushed.

 

“I’m not your lie, let them eat cake, let them eat pie!”

 

Beelzebub created a piece of white and yellow honey cake and shoved it into the hound’s mouth. She gave another piece of honeycomb pie to an excited female hound.

 

“Or better yet, let them eat…”

 

“GOLDEN HONEY!” (Ah-ah, ah-ah)

 

She danced in front of her glowing sigil by the honey wall. The wall glowed pink and golden, flashing back and forth.

 

“GOLDEN HONEY!” (Ah-ah, ah-oh)

 

A happy Beelzebub sang, flew around the disco ball, and dove expertly through one of the hoops on a statue. She spun in the air again.

 

“GOLDEN HONEY!” (Ah-ah, ah-ah)

 

Loona flinched and growled again as two hounds stared at Beelzebub, tongues out.

 

“GOLDEN HONEY!”

 

Beelzebub jumped from a hole.

 

“I’m what-chu want, not what-chu need! GOLDEN HONEY SKY!”

 

She dove into the hole and swam in a golden orange sea of honey. There were blobs of yellow honey and honeycomb orange walls. A spotlight shined on Beelzebub. She floated on her back in the liquid, her hands resting against her head. Her chest glowed light orange and yellow like honey.

 

“SWEET AS APPLE PIE!”

 

She swam happily in a circle.

 

“I CAN’T HELP BUT SHINE!”

 

She burst from the hole in the floor, the room now lit by orange and yellow lights. She leaned her head back in a sexy swoosh and her honey hair did a graceful arc, one honey bubble off to the side. More honey floated around the room. Loona watched in wonder this time. The lava-lamp pillars in the room glowed yellow like honey.

 

“BRIGHTER THAN THE STARLIGHT IN THE SKY!”

 

She flew again and sat on the disco ball. The hounds and dalmatians stomped to the beat as everyone sang “GOLDEN HONEY!”

 

“GOLDEN HONEY!” (Yeah)

 

Loona glanced uncomfortably at Vortex, who smirked and moved to the beat.

 

“YEAH, GOLDEN HONEY!”

 

Beelzebub did a sexy sitting pose as her honey-colored hair flowed in the air.

 

“I’m what-chu want, not what-chu need”

 

Her arms folded behind her back and she grinned a sharp sexy grin. More honey flowed around her.

 

“SO WHAT-CHU WANT?!”

 

Beelzebub slid up to a hound eating a taco at a table.

 

“Ya hungry?” Beelzebub enlarged the taco with her hands. “Take a BITE!” She shoved the taco into his mouth.

 

She walked over to two female hounds sipping on margaritas with honeycomb lemons in it.

 

“Get fucked TONIGHT!” (So what-chu want?)

 

She enlarged the drinks and poured them down the dog’s throats. The dog with thick hair collapsed onto the table.

 

Beelzebub waved her hands and a large glass bowl of fruit punch appeared on the ground. It was full of giant blueberries, two cinnamon sticks, apple slices, strawberry slices, and orange slices.

 

“Your Queen Bee brings the sweet stuff…”

 

She went over to a teen male hound wearing a yellow shirt, shorts, and sunglasses.

 

“So, keep making me that mother-fucking honey!”

 

She tossed him into the punch bowl with her glowing tail, his shirt flying off. Three other male hounds took off their shirts and jumped excitedly into the punch.

 

“Yeah, keep it comin’!”

 

“GOLDEN HONEY!” (Ah-ah, ah-ah)

 

The four male hounds smiled, floated on their backs, and waved their arms and legs in circles. Punch bubbled out of their mouths. They were like children making snow angels.

 

“What the fuck?” Loona mouthed as Beelzebub handed two cotton candies to two female hounds.

 

“GOLDEN HONEY!” (Ah-ah, ah-oh)

 

“GOLDEN HONEY!” (Ah-ah, ah-ah)

 

Vortex smiled and took a bite out of his cotton candy. Loona blushed.

 

Beelzebub showered pieces of candy onto her audience in the air.

 

“I’m what-chu want, not what-chu need. GOLDEN HONEY SKY!”

 

She waved her hand and a golden stream of honey flew up from a hole and knocked a hound down wearing a “SIT SIT” jacket.

 

With a wave of her hand, another jet of honey shot up in the air like a geyser. More rivers of honey danced through the air and around Beelzebub.

 

“SWEET AS APPLE PIE!”

 

“I CAN’T HELP BUT SHINE!”

 

The honey swirled into a spiral on the ceiling, then exploded into rainbow light. More pieces of pink cotton candy rained down on the excited crowd. The honeycomb ceiling glowed rainbow light with sparkles.

 

“BRIGHTER THAN THE STARLIGHT!”

 

“GOLDEN HONEY SKY!”

 

“SWEET AS APPLE PIE!”

 

She spun around the pole again as honey streams danced with her.

 

“I CAN’T HELP BUT SHINE!” (Whoo!)

 

“BRIGHTER THAN THE STARLIGHT IN THE SKY!”

 

Beelzebub sang her final note, leaping into the air as the honey streams spun around her, encasing her in a ball of light. The bass dropped one last time and the light exploded, showering rainbow confetti onto the audience. The hounds howled and cheered. A hound wearing a “DIG IT” jacket, shook his female friend in excitement. Vortex clapped in approval, while Loona shook off the cotton candy and candies in her mane. The lights returned to normal.

 

0 0 0

 

“OW, OW! Vortex!” called Beelzebub, swaying her hips. She leaped and grabbed Vortex’s shoulder affectionately. “The party is buzzing now! FUCK!”

 

Beelzebub stood up on the floor and pushed her colorful teal and magenta hair out of her face. “I feel like I went a little too hard with the confetti this time, though.” She waved her hands and a sparkly rainbow appeared. “I have like a rainbow in my vagina right now.”

 

Loona stared at her with a perplexed expression. She thought Vortex was hot and now she thought this bee princess was hot…despite her personality being the antithesis of Loona’s.

 

“Oh hey! Is this the sweet pup you told me about?” Beelzebub asked Vortex.

 

“Excuse me?” Loona asked.

 

“She’s a fuckin’ cutie! Where you been hiding, girl?” laughed Beelzebub.

 

“Is there something funny?” Loona asked, suspicious.

 

“Nah, I’m just really high on all this tasty energy right now,” said Beelzebub. “Tex says you don’t get invited out much. I hope this itty-bitty get-together can serve as a fun first time.”

 

Loona rolled her eyes as she watched a dog slide down a banister and flop to the ground after getting hit in the groin.

 

Beelzebub continued. “I would’ve thrown a bigger one, but I couldn’t convince Belphegor in the Sloth Ring to let me break into her stash of party drugs. So fuckin’ lame. I mean, I usually just steal them, but Belle changed the locks. She says I’m a total “jackass” for tying but, hey…”

 

She made a peace sign with one hand and twirled a beer bottle in another.

 

“…I’m proud to be a total jackass.”

 

She took a big drink from the bottle.

 

“Ha! Anyway, yeah, Bee, this is Loona,” Vortex introduced. “And Loona, this is my girlfriend, Bee.” He pulled her close for a side hug.

 

“Nice ta meecha, BITCH!” Beelzebub greeted with a peace sign.

 

“Oh, this is…she’s HOT!” Loona breathed.

 

“Ha!” Beelzebub laughed. “Holy shit! Okay, Tex, you didn’t tell me she was hilarious. That’s so funny.”

 

“Right…” Loona glanced off to the side.

 

“I love that that’s the first thing you say to me. You don’t give a shit how freaky you come off. And that’s fucking beautiful.”

 

Loona wondered if Beelzebub actually liked her or if she had called her a low-class freak.

 

Loona parted her hair awkwardly.

 

“You are my new favorite person,” Beelzebub said, pulling her close.

 

“Am I, though?” Loona asked, uncomfortable at being touched by a stranger. She felt especially awkward with being in front of royalty.

 

“Yeah, BITCH!” said Beelzebub. “No, really. Reminds me of the first time I saw Satan without a shirt on. I was like, “OOF BOY, YOU ARE HOT AS HELL! But then I wanted to die, ‘cause it was so awkward, ‘cause he’s more like a brother to me, you know? But not ACTUALLY my brother, so I guess…it was fine. I COULD hit that…”

 

Vortex glanced around, awkwardly. Loona flinched and weakly nodded.

 

“Anyway, girl, you have a good time tonight,” Beelzebub chimed to Loona. “Get some sweets, get some eats, drink it, tear it, fuck it up! WHOO!”

 

Beelzebub wandered around to the other guests. “Cheers honey! Thank you for coming!”

 

A dog with an eyepatch and a black shirt that read “SIT, SIT,” was pouring drinks onto another hound with a white cone over his head. A large dog with shaggy fur wore a shirt that read “WOOF.”

 

“Do you need anything? Are you having fun? Are you good?” asked Beelzebub.  “Are you drunk?” asked Beelzebub to the hound with the cone, who nodded. “Okay, good, okay great!”

 

Vortex smiled as Beelzebub left, while Loona looked on.

 

“Yeeeah, I’m gonna go,” Loona mentioned, eyes downcast.

 

“What? Why?” asked Vortex. “You just got here! At least one drink, right?”

 

Loona placed her cup on the stair pillar. “Nope. You really wouldn’t like me after one drink.”

 

Loona walked out the doors, tears in her eyes. Vortex stood in the doorway in concern. Loona felt like she stood out like a sore thumb among the other hellhounds. And though Beelzebub had welcomed her, Loona perceived it as something superficial, like she was still being talked down to. Not to mention, she was a bit envious of Vortex’s hot girlfriend. How could she ever be a perfect royal girlfriend for Vortex?

 

0 0 0

 

Back at Blitzo’s apartment, Blitzo’s phone vibrated with a barking ringtone. A half-eaten carton of chocolate ice cream was on the couch. Blitzo sat up groggily, wiping drool from his mouth. He wore a leather jacket with spikes on it and a white shirt that read “Wild Whorses” in red. Blitzo glanced at Loona’s text and his eyes bulged from his head in surprise.

 

Loona leaned her head back and sighed.

 

“So stupid. I shouldn’t have come.”

 

Minutes later, the I.M.P. van swerved around the corner and knocked over a potted plant. The van stopped in front of Loona and Blitzo rolled down his window.

 

“Hey Loonie, how ya doin’? You alright?” he asked in concern.

 

Loona got into the van and crossed her arms. “Yeah. I’m fine. I just wanna go.”

 

A large hellhound with a purple and gold jacket and a skull shirt came over and leaned against the van. “Huh? The hottie next to you wants to leave already?”

 

“Watch it,” Blitzo growled.

 

Just then, an imp wearing a shark-tooth necklace and a “Voxflix and Chill” shirt came over.

 

“Hey, hey! That sounds like Blitzo!”

 

Blitzo seethed. “The “o” is silent, asshole!”

 

“Hey, hey, I knew it was you,” said the imp. “Fuck man, where you been? You here for the party?”

 

“No, I’m just here picking up my daughter,” said Blitzo. Loona covered her face in embarrassment.

 

The imp peered into the van. “Oh shit! You have a daughter now?”

 

“ADOPTED!” Loona yelled in frustration.

 

The imp chimed in, “Oh man, you already leaving? Things just got started. Come in and show us all up again.”

 

“No, no thank you, but I think Loonie wants to head back,” said Blitzo. “Besides, those old partying days of ours are over.”

 

“Come on, man. Surely you have enough gusto for one more? Your daughter can join our group if she wants.”

 

Loona sat and thought for a moment.

 

Blitzo began, “I think we need to go, m’kay? I think it’s been a long night.”

 

“Wait,” said Loona to Blitzo. “I mean, we could stay a little longer. These people seem to know you and I could go with your friends.” She brightened when she saw Vortex. “Come on, I think I want to give this another try. Please?” She widened her eyes into puppy-dog ones.

 

Blitzo sighed and put his fingers to his face. He held up one finger. “Okay, fine, maybe ONE drink.”

 

0 0 0

 

Several drinks later, Blitzo had a stoned expression on his face as two hellhounds held him in the air back in the mansion. One of them had the upside-down cross tattoo. Another hound opened up a black keg with beer in it. Another hound wore a shirt that read “DIG IT.” Blitzo gulped down the beer through a hose. Loona, the large male hellhound, a thick-haired hound with the “WOOF” shirt and a slender female hound with hoop earrings were chanting “BLITZ! BLITZ! BLITZ! BLITZ!”

 

“Aaargh!” Blitzo exclaimed as he flipped himself upright. Howls and cheers followed his performance. Loona also howled in approval, forgetting her previous discomfort. Thanks to Blitzo’s arrival, she finally felt like she fit in.

 

Blitzo wiped his mouth and wiggled his long snake-like tongue in the air.

 

“HA, HA! That was nothing, bitch! Give me a real challenge!”

 

Beelzebub appeared from behind the crowd, holding a chicken leg in one of her hands. “Oh yeah?” she taunted. “Wanna fucks with the big bitch, imp boy?” She poked Blitzo in the chest with the chicken leg. “I got a challenge for ya.”

 

The mean girl poodle stood up and drawled, “Oh…he’s gonna die.”

 

Vortex made a rocker horns sign with his claws, while holding two honeycomb kegs of Beelzejuice in his other hand. “Aaalright, let’s do this!”

 

He placed the kegs down and clapped his hands together. “From Bee’s personal supply, the hardest shit there is. Beelzejuice mead with honey and a hint of cotton candy!”

 

Vortex leaned over to Blitzo. “You ready, my man?”

 

“OH, BORN READY!” Blitzo bellowed.

 

Blitzo turned the lid on the keg and tried to open it. “Bring it, barky! I will drink you under this fucking table! You have no idea what kind of night I’ve had…”

 

Beelzebub lifted up the kegs with her magic, the kegs glowing gold. Lavender-colored hellhound figures made of magic energy raced around the kegs in the air, bringing down drinking hoses for Beelzebub and Blitzo. Blitzo took hold of his hose.

 

“Alright, shit talker,” said Beelzebub with a smirk, pulling her keg, “…but there hasn’t been a soul yet who can beat me at my own game! So, you better bring the fire, baby.”

 

Blitzo retorted, “Oh, is Queen Bee too scared to lose to a little imp like me?!”

 

Beelzebub smirked and her eyes glowed golden. “Oh okay, let’s get it on, you little bastard.”

 

Vortex swiped his arm down and the contest began. Blitzo and Beelzebub gulped down the Beelzejuice through their hoses.

 

“Come on, Blitz!” called Loona, “Fuck her up! You can do it!”

 

Loona’s encouraging words quickened Blitzo’s gulps. Blitzo pulled the keg down and popped open the lid. The cheers grew louder as Blitzo dumped the whole keg upside down. The golden mead poured into his mouth as he swallowed. The poodle, Beelzebub and Vortex looked on with stunned expressions. Before long, Blitzo’s keg was empty and he stood on top of it in victory.

 

“WHO’S THE QUEEN NOW?!” Blitzo hollered as everyone cheered and whooped. Blitzo had finally received adoration and appreciation from the crowd, something he kept longing for.

 

“YEAH! THAT’S MY DAD!”  Loona yelled, shaking the slender female hound in excitement. Blitzo’s heart danced at hearing his daughter call him that.

 

Beelzebub lowered her keg and folded her arms. “Well fuck me! That’s a first. I haven’t had a first in a while. That was magical, seriously, impressive.” Beelzebub bowed her head to Blitzo. “I tip my crown to you, imp boy. Respect.”

 

Beelzebub howled out loud and the crowd threw their cups into the air as they howled with joy. Blitzo lifted his arms in the air, his eyes crossing. He fell backward but was quickly carried along by the crowd as they cheered. Vortex and Beelzebub gave each other concerned looks as they watched the drunken Blitzo go.

 

0 0 0

 

“Monster’s Ball” played over the speakers.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, non-binary specimen

The ceremony master has arrived

Queen Bee I be, the H.B.I.C.

The hottest dog fresh off the grill, yeah, that’s a vibe

If you don’t already know, these bitches bad to the bone

 

I’m not alone, all my ladies in the zone

We’re hounds of hell and we rollin’ ‘til the party comes home

I’m on a roll, everybody lose control

 

So-so tell me what you want, get me drinkin’ alcohol

Ketamine and fentanyl, boys and girls, I got it all

From the window to the wall, from the woman to the hole,

Little word to the wise, it’s no time to snarl

Everything going on upstairs is crazy

Come dig a little deeper down and take it for a day with me

 

Baby, we’re up all night ‘til we get enough

This is the appetite of Beelzebub

‘Cause once they don’t give up, open up your jaws

Until there’s nothing left of the Monster’s Ball” (Let’s go now. Dubstep techno beat)

 

 

 

Loona was laughing with her new hound female friends when Vortex tapped her on the shoulder. Loona turned around.

 

“Hey Loon, I don’t mean to be a buzz kill here, but your uh…dad…guy dude…” he put a hand behind his head, “…is um…he’s seeming a bit…”

 

“Out of control,” added Beelzebub. “Like…a mess.”

 

“Yeah, it’s worrisome, you wanna maybe check on him or something?” Vortex asked.

 

“What?! No! No, Blitz, is fine. He’s always a mess, trust me,” said Loona.

 

“Look honey, I see people having fun and getting fucked up all the time,” Beelzebub mentioned. “But he’s clearly getting wasted off his ass and causing problems on purpose. So, I feel like, you should check up on him at least. Just see if something’s up.”

 

The two female hounds peered from behind a corner.

 

“Are you sure? Can I trust someone whom everybody likes so much?”

 

“Yeah, sour cream. I’m pretty sure he’s had like four tongues inside him at once,” Beelzebub folded her arms. “I mean…good for him, but…I can taste the flavor of people at my parties, and he’s giving off a very…not okay vibe, you know?”

 

“I’ll…I’ll check on him,” Loona sighed. She knew better than to argue with a princess who could turn into a giant version of herself with flaming hair and magenta eyes.

 

Beelzebub spoke to Vortex. “I may have gotten a little spicy there, but…I hope everything works out. Now let’s dance!” She happily pulled Vortex onto the dance floor.

 

0 0 0

 

Loona maneuvered through the crowd. “BLITZ! BLITZ!  Where are you, shithead? Blitz…”

 

Loona turned a corner and gasped. A big hound wore a purple shirt that read “No respect” on it. Near an imp female with short hair and the “Voxflix and Chill” imp, was Blitzo and another imp engaged in French kissing. Their long tongues interlaced.

 

“Oh, piss on a dick!” Loona swore. She shoved the imp away and grabbed Blitzo by the collar. “What the fuck are you doing, Blitz?!”

 

The two imps on the couch scurried away.

 

“This guy,” Blitzo grinned, pointing to the guy he had French kissed. The imp waved, wearing a tuxedo and a wool hat.

 

“It looks like you’re in the middle of a god damn orgy, STOP!” Loona barked.

 

Blitzo slurred, “Look I didn’t expect you to come in here and see any of this Loonie, I’m so sorry. But it’s a party, I’m just having fun with, uh…”

 

Blitzo turned around to the imp. “The fuck is your name again?”

 

“Dennis,” said the imp.

 

“Christ on a stick, you would be a Dennis,” Blitzo muttered angrily. He waved his arms and Dennis ran off. “Get the fuck away from me! I’m not fucking a Dennis tonight! I need a Monica or Alejandro in here STAT!”

 

A large white-haired imp grabbed Blitzo and pulled him close. He wore black leather pants, a gray tank top, spiked bracelets, and a skull on his belt.

 

“Better,” Blitzo grinned. 

 

Loona punched the large imp hard in the face and he collapsed. Blitzo flopped into Loona’ arms.

 

“You don’t need anyone else sucking your face, freaky weirdo,” Loona grunted. “You need to drink something other than Beelzejuice.”

 

“Uuurgh no,” Blitzo moaned, waving his arms in the air. Loona carried him out of the mansion and placed him in on a red seat in the I.M.P. van.

 

Loona turned around and waved goodbye to Vortex, the large hellhound with the skull shirt and her female hound friends.

 

This lavish party had been fun after all. Loona felt great that she had finally felt included. She got into the van and drove Blitzo home.

 

“Do you need to throw up?” Loona asked Blitzo as he stared out the open window.

 

“Mmm…no,” he groaned.

 

Loona laughed and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, you do.”

 

0 0 0

 

Loona punched on the light switch and carried Blitzo into the apartment. She placed him on the striped couch with the blue horse blanket on it. His head rested against a blue pillow. A Loo-Loo Land apple pin and an I.M.P. pin were on the refrigerator. Loona filled up a glass of water from the sink and brought it over to her dad. A large blue rug had skull designs on the corners, two eye designs and a black pentagram on it.

 

“I had a really shitty day,” Blitzo groaned.

 

“Oh yeah? Is that why you drank like five gallons worth of who knows what?” Loona asked.

 

Blitzo flinched. “Fuck, Fizz was right. I’m gonna die alone, aren’t I? Just a wrinkled, old, withered waste…” The nightmare vision with Fizzarolli was coming back to Blitzo, haunting him relentlessly.

 

Loona had no idea where he got that morbid idea from.

 

“Will you be there, Loonie?”

 

“Be where?”

 

Blitzo mumbled drunkenly into his pillow, “I dunno…lonely...die alone…”

 

“I’ll be there, dad,” she said, tucking Blitzo in with the horse blanket. “Now go the fuck to sleep…okay?”

 

Loona turned the lights out and headed into her bedroom.

 

“Millie…Moxxie…Stolas…” Blitzo muttered.

 

Blitzo lifted his head and promptly vomited on the floor.

 

“Fuck! Yeah, I did need to throw up!”