Blitzo's Helluva Family

 

 

Part One: Helluva Birth

On August 3, 1979, many years ago in Hell, a kind-hearted imp named Tilla gave birth to two twins, Blitzo and Barbie Wire.

 

Once she started having contractions, her husband Donner drove her to a nearby hospital in an old gray van. Donner smoked in the waiting room while his wife gave birth. After Donner was allowed to enter, he saw a panting Tilla holding two red imp babies in her arms. An exhausted smile was on her face.

 

“Holy shit! Twins!” Donner exclaimed in delight.

 

“I know. Aren’t they beautiful?” Tilla smiled. Her face was a paler shade of red under the flickering fluorescent lights.

 

“Not nearly as beautiful as you,” he replied, kissing her on her head. She closed her eyes in happiness.

 

An imp nurse in green scrubs took notes on a clipboard and examined them. Two other security imps dragged a drunken male imp down the hallway and out the door. A nearby window shattered in the waiting room as three rambunctious imp children raced through the front door to retrieve the basketball they had thrown in. A locksmith tried in vain to fix the lock from the worn-out lime colored door. The hanging hospital sign outside had been tilted askew, “Welcome” being crossed out in red paint and replaced with “Welcum to Circle Two Hospital.” The howling of pained wails sounded from other adjacent rooms.

 

The nurse gave them an apologetic look. “Sorry, we’re busier than usual today.”

 

“That’s okay,” said Donner. “Though I’d like to get home as soon as we can. Don’t want a whole bunch of thugs around.”

 

“Both look healthy and happy,” the nurse mentioned, before both babies cried at the same time. Donner flinched at the noise, but Tilla was too relieved to be overly concerned. After several days, the new family headed back to their partially decent home in the city.

 

Donner was tall and slender like his wife, with two long black and white striped horns that curved backwards, like Blitzo’s. His face was crimson, and his eyes were red with glowing yellow sclera. His teeth were sharp and yellow, and his long red tail had three spikes on it and a black pointed tip. The tail had several white scar marks. A black goatee hung from his pointed downward chin, but his head was bald. His demeanor radiated strength, perseverance, and cruelty. However, he still loved his family deep down, despite keeping his softer emotions buried inside himself much of the time.

 

In contrast, his wife Tilla had a more nurturing presence. Her crimson face emitted kindness and her red eyes and yellow sclera sparkled with a child-like humor. Her hair was long and black, draping over her shoulders, with faint strands of gray. Her top bangs leaned slightly to the left. A black necklace with a red skull face on hung around her neck nearly every day. Her horns were small, straight, and black, without the usual thin white stripes found on imp female horns. Donner was enraptured by her sensuality, beauty and accepting attitude. Rumor claimed that Tilla was part succubus, and it may have actually been true. Donner and Tilla shoved aside the denizens’ hateful glares of confusion over her “hybrid” status and had gotten married. Though nurturing and soft-spoken, Tilla had a mischievous and powerful side that was hard to ignore.

 

From the very start, Tilla did most of the child-rearing at home. She would wake up in the dead of night to ease the cries of her two children. But it wasn’t always easy. After singing lullabies to her son, he’d fall asleep, only to be woken again by his crying sister. Tilla would yawn as she would get a few more hours of rest before her alarm would blare. After kissing his children goodbye, Donner would be off to work at his salesman career. Like many jobs for imps, it wasn’t anything spectacular. Donner would rummage through files in his office, and go outside to sell products like cars, weapons and strangely enough, children’s toys. He wasn’t afraid to raise prices or initiate darker deals if he had to. It was Hell, after all.

 

Every day, he would carry a small gun or a blunt knife by his side, especially around the dark alleys. On bad days, he got his anger out by fighting any stray imps that crept into his path. Thus, many imps did not get too close.

 

“Only 66.99 souls for this here rifle,” he said one day. “But this one here…” he mentioned to the slender looking one that had white paint marks painted on it to make it look like an angelic weapon, “Will cost ya much more…”

 

When the beefy imp inspected it with an impressive look, another thin imp with white hair and a white mustache frowned.

 

“That’s a fake,” he told the imp as he moved beside him. “See those lines? They ain’t glowin’ at all. That’s just paint! Don’t listen to that scumbag. Real glowing weapons cost a fortune, especially in Wrath where I’m from.”

 

“It is true!” Donner claimed. “Perhaps you’re blind to the intricate details of it.”

 

“You think I’m blind, huh?” the beefy imp remarked. “Maybe the blind one…”

 

He smacked Donner straight in the face… “...is you!”

 

Donner’s imp boss wasn’t happy as Donner glowered with a black eye in his office.

 

“You had one job, Donner,” he said, scratching his head of white hair. “Make enough profit to meet our criteria for the month. Now the rates are going down because of that sissy fight you just had with our customer.”

 

“That tattle-tell asshole had it coming,” Donner grumbled.

 

“And so will you,” his boss replied with a frown on his face. He handed Donner a pink slip, which the imp promptly tore to shreds. Ignoring his boss’ grunts of dismissal, he flipped him off before storming out of the office. Donner then gave the nerdy imp who had just taken his place a glare before heading back home.

 

“Tilly!” Donner called in anger, finishing a cigarette. “You better find yourself a better paying job while I try to find a new one!”

 

“You got fired?! Seriously, Don?!” Her hands were on her hips, her long black hair slightly messy.

 

In the background, baby Blitzo and Barbie Wire had a crawling contest on the floor. Barbie Wire crawled in her diaper as Blitzo hurried after her.

 

“It wasn’t my fault! Some bloke cheated me and claimed my weapon was illegitimate!”

 

“Was it?”

 

Donner just shrugged. Tilla narrowed her eyes and shook her head. “You knew going too far would only mean trouble, right?”

 

“I didn’t!”

 

“Exactly. I warned you. Now you need to be more careful.”

 

Blitzo snatched a bottle from Barbie Wire, who yelled in protest. Barbie grabbed hold of her brothers’ horn and sucked on it. Blitzo yanked back and grunted.

 

“And now you need to find a better paying job than that bartender occupation in Lust!”

 

“Hey,” Tilla protested. “I was lucky enough to get part-time at that club! You have no idea how hard pole-dancing can be after dinner hours.”

 

“Yeah, sure, all that performing and no serious career.”

 

“Come on, Don, we both know you secretly love music and song.”

 

“If you mean songs about victory in battles…or our own love, then sure.”

 

Tilla rolled her eyes.

 

“Just get a new fucking job! You’re the one providing for us all.”

 

“And you do the same.”

 

Then he paused. “Perhaps we could look around together.”

 

“Okay,” she said. Two farts and cries came from the twins crawling on the floor. Tilla then placed a pile of diapers in Donner’s hands and strut away.

 

“That’s your cue,” she sang as he seethed in frustration.

 

0 0 0

1981

The two imp parents looked around the city for many weeks. Sometimes they would take their babies with them, pushing them in baby carriages. For a time, Tilla’s bartender job was the only thing giving them enough money to live a partially stable life. Food was short, days were long, and childcare was quite the adventure. While the twins would often yell, hit, or spit at each other, much of the time, their actions were in sync. Donner and Tilla soon found that they were…well, two fires in a brimstone.

 

The one older by a few minutes was Blitzo. He was a lanky jester-like imp with a crimson narrow face and long black and white striped horns curved backwards. He had sharp yellow teeth and red eyes with yellow sclera. Then there was the slightly younger sister Barbie Wire. She had the same crimson face, bald head, sharp yellow teeth, and red eyes as her brother. However, she had two black horns with thin white stripes on them, curled into the shape of rams’ horns. Both had long red pointed tails, a small white tip on hers and a black tip and small spikes on his.

 

Both imps grew up to be energetic, entertaining, and enthusiastic individuals with a love of freedom. They learned how to flip off other kids at three years old and learned their first swear word from their father. Although they were too young to use weapons, both enjoyed playing fighting games and rough housing. Both were self-absorbed, confident, and prone to violence and profane humor. However, they both loved each other and their family very much, especially their mother. Tilla was like an older sister to them, despite being their mother. She was the one who rough-housed with them, read them stories and encouraged them to follow their dreams.

 

“No matter what you want to do; musical theater, circus acts, fire surfing, law or just plain murder, know that you have the potential to do amazing things,” Tilla had told them. Blitzo and Barbie Wire always loved her comforting hugs and her beautiful melodious voice. It was even more fun when they were tossed into the air and caught in her hands again. The sounds of giggles would brighten up the rooms. Donner would watch by the bedroom doorway with a small smile as Tilla nuzzled into her children’s innocent faces.

 

After several trips around the city, it was soon getting dark. Blitzo and Barbie Wire were pushed along in their strollers, sucking on chocolate popsicles shaped like swords. Blitzo reached over to bite his sister’s tail.

 

“No, Blitzo,” Tilla chided. “Tails are not for eating.”

 

In response, Barbie smacked her tail into her brother’s face, much to his annoyance.

 

The parents tried application after application but were rejected each time.

 

“We’re too full,” the owners would say.

 

“Sorry, not enough experience.”

 

“There’s an extra fee to get in.”

 

“Oh, you’re that imp who screwed the succubus llama imp. Go back to the chucklefucks, bitch.”

 

“Who the fuck are you calling a llama?!” Tilla bellowed.

 

Tilla got plenty of vocal exercise, yelling obscenities to the deniers.

 

“For Satan’s sake, Don, just take the kids to regular school,” Tilla encouraged as the bone-shaped streetlights flickered overhead. “Let’s leave the job hunting ‘til tomorrow and head home. And Barbie, stop pulling on Blitzo’s horns!”

 

She glanced down at the black double seated baby carriage. Baby Barbie giggled as she yanked on Blitzo’s nearest horn. Blitzo shooed her away with a small hand. They engaged in a blowing raspberry match before sucking on their popsicles again.

 

“You know how shitty the imp public schools are,” Donner replied. “Half the teachers there don’t care about the things they teach. Besides, I still need to teach them more controlled attack techniques.”

 

“They’re just kids!”

 

“Who could easily get hurt by the many punks and assholes around here, hun,” Donner replied. He briefly put a hand on her shoulder. “I’m just sayin,’ survival instinct should come before learning and making friends and such. We’ll get the jobs we want and Blitzo and Barbie will be taught well.”

 

“Taught by whom? We can’t teach them when we’re at work! We’ll get kicked out of our house soon if we don’t pay the rent. And you honestly think there’s gonna be a job out there that will cater to all our needs?” Tilla asked incredulously.

 

Just then, the imps spotted a large striped red and white tent, with hanging lights in the distance.

 

“Step right up, imps and implings!” rang a charismatic voice through a microphone. “We are currently looking for new staff to claim exciting roles for our traveling group!”

 

Donner looked at Tilla with a small smirk as they headed over toward the tent. “I think we may have just found one.”

 

 

 

 

0 0 0

Part Two: Helluva Opportunity

Donner and Tilla walked over to the stand and saw a large wooden sign beside a table. “Travel With Us! The Helluva Hooligans Group, 18 souls an hour, apply today!”

 

Donner pushed his way to the front and saw a few imps filling out application forms.

 

“Salutations, good sir!” called the finely dressed imp behind the stand. “You look like someone in desperate need for employment.”

 

“How did you know?” Donner asked with a grin and a sarcastic playful tone.

 

“Lucky guess,” the imp admitted. “What’s your name?”

 

“Donner.”

 

“Well, Donner, if ya don’t want to be a goner, perhaps you could fill out these here forms, if you have what it takes.”

 

A few imps were taking pictures of the imp nearby.

 

“Who are you?” Tilla asked as she strolled up with her kids.

 

The crimson faced tall imp let out a charismatic grin of sharp red teeth. He wore an elegant black suit with a white collar and a long red cape. Gold trim laced the ends of his sleeves and long black pants covered his hairy goat-like legs. Black boots covered his hooves, with golden hearts at the tips. He had a thin black mustache, a thin black beard and a tall black top hat between his curved black and white striped horns. The horns were shaped a little like lightning bolts. In his hand was a fancy black cane with a gold lion head on it.

 

“I am Paimon Tarot Bardum,” he spread out his arms in a flourish. “Entrepreneur, showman and founder of the most established circus for imps around the Rings! And no, I’m not an heir of King Paimon but I do have sponsors from the Ars Goetia.”

 

“Most established?” Donner asked.

 

“Well, there were a few groups before me, but the performers got into drugs and fights and were disbanded. Plus, it’s awfully expensive to host such events…unless you’re lucky like me!”

 

“Not many imps start businesses on their own,” Tilla remarked.

 

“My business was briefly seen by Lucifer himself!” Bardum claimed. “Sure, it’s not as popular as Lu-Lu World, but why go to an expensive amusement park, when I can bring the amusement to all of you! Hahahahaha!”

 

“So, why all this?” Donner asked.

 

“We’re a traveling circus that visits Greed, Lust, Wrath and Pride. In fact, we just came down from Pride to celebrate the founding of Imp City!”

 

“Imp City?”

 

“Yes, my dear,” Bardum winked at her. “The imps originated down from Wrath and immigrated through the Rings in search of better lives. Those who wanted to make a living in Pride were eventually pushed back by sinners into the second circle and further circles in Pride. The sinners got the main capital while the imps were forced to adapt to their surroundings. Thus, the ghetto, crime-ridden city of Imp City was founded…a couple days ago in fact.”

 

“Okay then,” Tilla said, confused.

 

Bardum cleared his throat. “Now then! If you want a job, fill out those forms and come with me. There are lots of contenders already, so I don’t have all day.”

 

Donner and Tilla filled out their forms and followed Bardum inside the tent. Tilla pushed her toddlers forward. Barbie Wire and Blitzo looked around in amazement at the hanging lights. The two imps stood in line beside another imp, a lion demon, an elephant, and a snake wearing a pink tutu.

 

Bardum paced back and forth. “Alright contenders! You all put in your forms that you were experts in our acts. To sort out the frauds, we’re gonna see what you can really do in person! For those with no prior experience, I’m gonna have a field day with you!”

 

Bardum leaned in menacingly toward Blitzo and Barbie Wire, the kids flinching away in their seats. But Tilla and Donner stood their ground, staring Bardum right in the eye as if to say, “challenge accepted.”

 

Tilla had, in the past, done some flips, jumps and graceful movements during her nightclub job. And Donner knew some fighting moves he had learned from his father long ago. But, of course, this was all new to them.

 

“Bailey!” called Bardum with a clap of his hands. His looming brother walked into the light: a strong imp with well-toned muscles, black pants, and chains around his neck. He cracked his knuckles.

 

Bardum grinned. “Whip these fuckers into shape! No mistakes, ya brute!”

 

Bailey merely grunted at his boss. “Don’t bite the dick that quenches ya.”

 

0 0 0

“Test One: Ball Balancing!” Bailey barked. “Go!”

 

Donner and Tilla stood on large red and black striped balls in the center of the tent. Donner used his arms and tail to aid in balance. A couple of times, he stumbled and nearly fell. Circus music played from an old record player off to the side.

 

“You fall, you fail!” Bailey called.

 

The other imp walked on his hands on the ball, earning impressed looks from Bailey.

 

“Now that’s an imp with skill!”

 

The snake with the tutu wrapped her tail around the ball and rolled around without falling. Unfortunately for the elephant, the ball popped under his weight, and he fell with a thump to the ground.

 

“Strike one, you’re out!” Bailey barked.

 

“That’s not fucking fair!” the elephant cried.

 

“Then maybe you should’ve lost some weight and practiced your flips,” Bailey retorted as he watched the lion flip back onto his ball in approval. The elephant stomped out of the tent, shaking the ground. Tilla almost fell down, but Donner held her hand and steadied her.

 

“Let’s impress these money-suckers,” he said.

 

Tilla smiled in confidence as she let go of Donner’s hand. She took deep breaths and stared straight ahead, not daring to look down. She rolled forward with the momentum, then tried backward. Donner and Tilla then held hands and jumped on the balls, doing splits.

 

“Time’s up!” Bailey called, just before the two imps fell to the ground. He walked over to them with a glare. Donner gulped from his laying down position.

 

“Don’t worry, you’re still in,” he said.

 

Donner and Tilla breathed sighs of relief.

 

0 0 0

“Test Two! Juggling for two minutes or more!” Bailey bellowed.

 

Bailey ate a red apple beside a Lucifer poster. Another winged imp that was part of the group leaped through hoops overhead.

 

Tilla held two small blue balls in her hands and took some deep breaths. Donner put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Just imagine they are delicate plates that must not touch the ground or else you’ll be grounded until it snows down here.”

 

“Not helping!” Tilla hissed.

 

“Begin!” demanded Bailey.

 

Balls were tossed into the air and juggled around in circles. Tilla focused on the rhythm as much as she could. Toss, toss, catch, catch, toss, toss, catch, catch…

 

Donner stared straight ahead, imagining he was juggling the heads of his enemies. Bailey danced around to try and distract them, but Donner retained his steely gaze and concentration.

 

He needed this job. And Satan dammit, he was going to get it.

 

By sheer luck, Tilla and Donner were just able to break the two-minute mark before the balls fell from their hands. The lion wasn’t so lucky; his balls bonked him on the head, and he growled in frustration.

 

“Better luck next time, kitty cat,” Bailey mocked.

 

0 0 0

Bailey boomed, “Test Three: Balancing and Joke Telling! Start!”

 

Donner and Tilla balanced on a thin gymnastics beam while facing a cardboard audience of drawn monsters and imps.

 

“Did you hear about the hungry bank robber who wanted to eat money? He came to us and was like, ‘I got your souls!’”

 

A laugh track was heard, and Donner bowed, retaining his balance.

 

“Very nice,” Bailey said impressed.

 

Tilla’s mind went blank. She tried to focus on balance while also coming up with a joke on the spot.

 

“Any day now, lady,” Bailey remarked, tapping his foot.

 

Sweat beaded her forehead and she gulped.

 

“Um…did you hear about…uh…”

 

“Boo! No audience likes one who stutters,” Bailey commented.

 

His remark almost made her fall off the beam. ‘Relax, Tilla. Just think.’

 

Another imp stumbled on the beam as he said, “Why didn’t the hell-chicken cross the road? Because…he knew there was no other side!”

 

A few chuckles here and there.

 

“I was wondering what to call Hellvis Presley’s pet the other day. He then told me, ‘He ain’t nothing but a Hellhound dog!’”

 

“Ingenious,” said Bailey.

 

“Yes!” the imp jumped for joy…and promptly hit his balls on the beam. He fell to the ground sideways with an “oof!”

 

“So that’s what they mean when they say, ‘Don’t get too cocky,’” Bardum snickered at Bailey.

 

“Good one, sir!”

 

Bailey waved a dismissive hand at the imp.

 

The imp cried in pain and left the tent, holding himself.

 

“I’ve got it!” Tilla called, one finger pointed up. “Ack!”

 

The snake hissed evilly on the balance beam and swiped her tail in Tilla’s direction. Tilla jumped over it like a jump rope, almost falling. She glared at the snake.

 

“What do you call P.T. Bardum on good and bad days?”

 

Tilla ducked as the snake swiped her tail forward at her. Tilla grabbed the green tail and promptly stepped on it. The snake hissed in pain. Tilla waved her arms and almost fell backward…

 

But she hung from the beam upside down with her legs, punching the snake’s tail off the beam. She smiled at the carboard audience and answered with a wink, “One Helluva Boss!”

 

“Hahaha!” Bardum clapped his hands as Donner gave her a thumbs up from the side. The circus music joined in by ending on a victorious trumpet note.

 

The snake crumpled to the ground.

 

“Knock, knock,” she groaned.

 

“Who’s there?” Bailey asked, towering over her.

 

“Wood.”

 

“Wood who?”

 

“Wood you let me try again?”

 

Bailey grinned and picked her up... “HA! No.” …and promptly tossed her outside the tent. Her screams faded away.

 

Bardum and Bailey walked over to Donner, as Tilla hoped down from the beam.

 

“Well, congratulations, imps,” Bardum praised. “What are your names again?”

 

“I’m Donner, this is my wife Tilla.”

 

 “Well Donner and Tilla, it appears you have proven yourselves capable of the basics. Now here’s some more questions for you…”

 

‘Not again,’ thought Donner.

 

“As we are a traveling circus, we do move around the Rings. Are you willing to move at different times of the day and night? We will provide you with some places to stay and accommodations. If you don’t mind sharing some rooms with some of our performers...”

 

“That’s fine!” they both said, overlapping each other.

 

“You’ll get to sleep in the same bed if you wish, and if you’re good enough, maybe you’ll get your own room.”

 

“Okay then, just don’t spy on us or anything,” Donner said, narrowing his eyes.

 

“Why would I do that?” Bardum grinned widely.

 

A brief awkward silence.

 

Bardum hid a video camera behind his back.

 

“Anyway, you will be practicing with our performers daily, learning from your mistakes, working as a team, blah blah blah. But try not to make any mistakes during the actual shows or if you do, cover it up as best as you can. Myself and my associates are NOT responsible for any damage, injuries, or liabilities that may happen to you all, so just try and sue us…”

 

Donner tuned out the lecture.

 

“…so now that we have all that out of the way, what do ya say?” Bardum asked. His eyes glowed and his face became shadowed as he held out his right hand. He spoke in a low demonic voice: “Do we have a deal?”

 

Donner and Tilla stood frozen in fear.

 

The light suddenly came back onto Bardum, and he retracted his hand. “Just kidding, just kidding!” he laughed. “The looks on your faces was just…priceless! I’d never do something like that.”

 

Tilla and Donner laughed nervously.

 

“But still, you need to sign this extra insignificant form here,” he said casually, handing it to them. “To prove you won.”

 

They did just that.

 

Bardum and Bailey made their way forward. Bardum turned back to them. “The fuck are you lovebirds waiting for?! We have much to do, chop, chop!”

 

Donner and Tilla smiled at each other and Tilla squealed. “We did it!” she whispered.

 

They followed Bardum and Bailey to a metal trailer decorated with posters and “Helluva Hooligans” in theater lights on it.

 

“Oh, one more thing!” called Bardum. “That form you just signed…it read in the fine print that everyone’s gotta participate and cooperate for many years. Including your little twins! Hope that’s okay!”

 

“Yes sir!” Donner bellowed excitedly at the same time Tilla cried, “Wait, what?!”

 

0 0 0

1984

“Keep going, Blitzo, you’ve got this sweetheart!” Tilla encouraged.

 

A 5-year-old Blitzo stumbled and wobbled on a large rainbow-colored ball. Flapping his arms, he fell backward with a yelp onto a nearby blue mat. Blitzo wore a blue outfit.

 

“Aw fuck,” Blitzo grumbled, clutching one of his striped horns.

 

Tilla helped him up. “Don’t be a Donner downer,” she teased, tickling him under his chin. “If at first you don’t succeed…”

 

“But I’ve tried so many times already!” Blitzo protested, slumping his shoulders. “Can’t I take a break?”

 

“Not until you can balance like your sister,” boomed Donner’s voice as he stepped into the living room. He wore a green shirt with gold trim on it and black pants. His tail swished slightly from side to side. The apartment walls had pink and white stripes on them.

 

“But I can still do it!” Blitzo protested.

 

“Without holding onto the wall or a railing?”

 

Blitzo went silent.

 

“Thought not.”

 

Blitzo brushed off his blue shirt and turned to his mother. “Being in the circus is fun and all, but wouldn’t it be amazing if I could get dressed up and be a star on stage?”

 

Tilla smiled as Blitzo imagined himself in front of a microphone, singing along while wearing a cowboy costume.

 

“Ha!” Donner barked, jutting Blitzo from his daydream. Tilla gave her husband a glare.

 

“Look at Barbie, son,” Donner said to Blitzo. He saw his sister in a white dress with pink stripes on it. She had already mastered balancing on her rainbow ball on one foot. She gently lowered her foot and moved on her ball with the tips of her toes before landing flat on the mat in a heap.

 

“Oops,” she said with a goofy grin. She looked at Blitzo. “Keep tryin’ bro!”

 

Donner looked at him. “If ya can’t even balance on a ball and look at an audience directly, how’d you ever expect to be in a career like musical theater?”

 

Blitzo lowered his head, tears spiling out.

 

“No time for cryin’ boy! Show the crowd what you’re made of and get back to practicing.”

 

“Don’t be so hard on them!” Tilla chided. “Just give them a fucking break!”

 

In frustration, Donner punched a hole in the wall with his red fist. Everyone fell silent. Tilla had a trembling, fearful look.

 

Donner turned to a flinching Tilla. “How else will they learn in time? It’s all about skill, survival and success. It is the only way, and you know it. Do you want us to get fired?”

 

Tilla glumly shook her head.

 

Donner cleared his throat, satisfied. Then he added to his children, “Our top priority is our circus. We have a lifelong devotion to it.” He pointed at a black heart-skull shaped mark on his forehead. Tilla, Barbie and Blitzo all had gotten the same black mark tattoos on their foreheads, showing they were part of the circus. “Don’t forget that.”

 

Donner shared a look with the kids and left the room. True to his word, Bardum had given the family an apartment to temporarily stay at before they would have to travel around for shows. Bardum had promised Donner that if his family were continually successful in shows when the twin had matured, he would be promoted to ring master.

 

“You already display the traits of a fine entrepreneur,” Bardum had said to Donner.

 

“I was a businessman at my last job,” Donner mentioned with pride.

 

“Perhaps if your children perform well in shows once they become teens, you’ll be able to take over. No pressure or anything…except that my biggest sponsor is Lord Mammon himself.”

 

Bardum leaned in slightly toward Donner, red eyes pulsing with a demonic glow. “And you know he’ll expect only the best.”

 

“Y-yes sir.”

 

Ever since then, Donner had expected high standards from not only his kids, but his wife as well. Every day, Donner got more devoted to their circus acts, while Tilla became stressed. Child-rearing and practicing tricks became hard work for her.

 

To the kids’ surprise and delight, Donner ended practice early. He mentioned for the kids to follow him as evening arrived. Gone was his temper, replaced by temporary kindness.

 

“Who wants to help me with our special treat?”

 

“Me!” Blitzo and Barbie trilled at the same time.

 

“Wait here. We’ll be ready in a few minutes,” Donner said to Tilla.

 

 Tilla sat in her dark blue outfit and watched as the kids raced ahead.

 

In the kitchen, Blitzo and Barbie shared smiling looks. Donner sat in a chair at the table, a covered object in front of him. He winked at the kids as they arrived.

 

Barbie Wire pulled a slip of paper from her pocket. “This is gonna be great!” she whispered excitedly to her brother.

 

The lights were turned off before Tilla stepped inside.

 

“Surprise!” all three shouted as the lights turned on. Donner stood and lifted the cover, revealing a black cake with “Happy Birthday Tilla” in red icing covered by a plastic dome. A red pentagram with a small heart in it was decorated off to the side.

 

“Oh, you guys!” Tilla exclaimed in happiness. “How wonderful! Thank you!”

 

“Devil’s food cake, your favorite,” Donner said with a wink. Tilla giggled in delight. Everyone soon forgot about the previous incident.

 

Donner removed the cover and lit the red candles. They sang:

 

“Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday dear…”

 

The kids sang “Momma!” as Donner sang, “Tilly!”

 

“Happy birthday to you!”

 

They all clapped as she blew out the candles. Donner cut pieces for each of them.

 

Blitzo and Barbie Wire skipped over to their mother and gave her the piece of paper. She took it and smiled warmly. It was a small card with a misspelled “Happy Bertha Moma” written in pink letters on the front. Inside were drawn stick figures of Blitzo and Barbie riding on horses and throwing confetti on a happy Tilla.

 

“Aww, come here my little implings,” Tilla cooed, pulling Blitzo and Barbie in for a hug. All their pointed tails wrapped around each other before retracting back out. Their eyes closed in bliss.

 

“I love you so much, momma!” Blitzo smiled and laughed.

 

“We surprised you good, didn’t we?” Barbie asked.

 

“You sure did,” she chuckled.

 

After they enjoyed cake and hamburgers, Donner called, “Let’s not forget pictures!”

 

Donner held a black rectangular camera in his hands. He positioned the kids in front and Tilla in the back beside the striped wall.

 

“Okay everyone, say ‘Hell yeah!’”

 

“Hell yeah!” They smiled with open mouths as the camera clicked. The picture showed a smiling Blitzo and Barbie Wire holding their “Happy Bertha Moma” card for their mother in their hands. Tilla stood with a small smile in the background, a gray streak in her long black hair. A red skull necklace was around her neck.

 

0 0 0

1987

Before long, Blitzo, Tilla, and Barbie Wire were now practicing with other younger members of the circus. They were training under a large tent in the Greed Ring.

 

Besides balancing on balls, the twins learned flips, low tightrope walking, juggling, shooting arrows, throwing plastic knives and animal taming. Tilla was there to give extra encouragement, while Donner looked on.

 

“You’ll be able to interact with the larger animals, the fire rings and the higher elevations as you evolve,” their female ram instructor told them. “You must be prepared for anything. Any act, any trick demanded of you on the spot.”

 

Blitzo soon mastered balancing on the ball…but was dismayed when Barbie got her first bullseye in archery. Every day seemed like he was playing catch-up with her. Barbie hung upside down on a hanging bar swing, arms swinging down. Blitzo made the mistake of looking down and fell with a flop onto the blue mat below. He seethed when Barbie blew raspberries at him upside down.

 

“Come on, you’re twins!” the instructor joked. “Why can’t you learn at the same pace?”

 

Blitzo and Barbie Wire quickly got used to a sort of chaotic routine. They’d wake up early for breakfast with the other members, travel on the road and go to a tent to practice. After bathroom and water breaks, they would watch the performers do stunts closely, learning about safety measures. Then they’d have loud rowdy meals with the crew before an early bedtime.

 

Every day was different, and every act posed a new set of challenges.

 

0 0 0

One day, Blitzo, dressed in dark blue suspenders behind a colorful cart, was busy making balloon animals for the younger kids. He made a red dog for a boy imp, a snake for a girl and even managed to make a balloon imp for a baby.

 

A young girl imp thanked Blitzo for her balloon animal and handed him two small plastic horses, one a pink unicorn, the other a blue horse.

 

Blitzo’s eyes shined as he took his gifts. “They’re so fuckin’ cute!”

 

Blitzo made horse noises and kissing sounds as he nuzzled the toys closer. Suddenly, a large hand swiped the horses away.

 

“Boys don’t play with ponies,” Donner deadpanned to him, tossing them into a nearby trash can. Blitzo sniffed after the toys clanged to the bottom.

 

“Focus on your training, Blitzo.”

 

Donner strolled away toward Bardum.

 

Blitzo glumly continued making balloon animals.

 

“Hey, hey, you’re pretty good at this!” chirped a voice.

 

Blitzo turned around. Behind him was another imp around his age wearing a white clown outfit with red buttons on it. He wore a red and black striped jester cap and had a red clown nose on his face. Black dimple spots were on his cheeks. He had the same crimson face, eyes, and black mark as Blitzo. His asymmetrical striped black and white horns curved backward.

 

“Hey, thanks,” Blitzo said. “Much easier than making your behind sore from acrobatics. Fuck that noise.”

 

The imp boy snickered. “I like you already!”

 

He jumped with a flip and landed in front of Blitzo.

 

“I’m Fizzarolli!” He eagerly shook Blitzo’s hand.

 

“Blitzo,” he greeted. “You practicing, too?”

 

“Sure am!” He let go of Blitzo’s hand. “I can’t wait until I turn 13! Then I’ll be able to perform at a real show with the professionals.”

 

“Heh, that’s the goal,” Blitzo replied with a hint of uncertainty.

 

“Hey, don’t worry if ya feel like you’re fallin’ behind. Just keep workin’ at it and you’ll be a pro in no time!”

 

Blitzo smiled, happy to have found a new best friend.

 

Tilla was happy, too. “Aw, look at you two! Just as cute as always!”

 

“Urgh, Momma,” Blitzo made a face as Tilla pinched his cheeks. “No!”

 

“Sorry,” she said, playfully booping Blitzo on the nose. “One quick picture and I’ll get out of your hair.” Then she chuckled as she held up her camera. “Oh right, you don’t have any!”

 

The camera flashed and Blitzo and Fizzarolli stood in their outfits against a yellow background. Both boys were winking, Fizzarolli with his forked tongue part-way out. They were arm in arm like brothers. After the picture was taken, the two raced off.

 

“Stay out of trouble!” Tilla called. “And be back in time for the show tonight!”

 

But Fizzarolli led Blitzo on a fun, pranking adventure. As Fizzarolli snuck around and unlocked a cage full of sleeping hell-monkeys, Blitzo drew a mustache on the face of a sleeping imp. Blitzo grabbed a cowboy hat with horn holes and put it on his head. They met back and gave each other a high five and snickered.

 

Barbie wandered over to them, wearing a black and red striped dress.

 

“This is my sister, Barbie Wire,” Blitzo introduced.

 

“I’m Fizzarolli,” he introduced as they shook hands. “Your brother and I were finishing up pranks. Wanna join us?”

 

“Sure,” Barbie grinned. She spotted a grumpy looking smoking imp who always flipped off all the rookies who arrived.

 

“Careful around him,” Fizzarolli whispered.

 

She scooped up spiders from a nearby crate, snuck behind him and placed them in his pants and underwear.

 

Barbie raced back to the boys. “I’ll keep a look out for mom and dad.”

 

Looking down, the male imp suddenly screeched and screamed as he danced around frantically. “Ants in my pants! Ants in my pants!”

 

“Actually, those are spiders,” Barbie Wire smirked as he screamed even louder.

 

“The show’s gonna be great tonight!” Fizzarolli grinned.

 

“Thanks, Fizz. This was such a great idea!” said Blitzo.

 

Later during the show that night…

 

“Who thought this was a great idea?!” Bailey yelled as half a dozen hell-monkeys screeched and chased after him in the arena. A few elephants stomped into the arena, knocking aside performing imps like bowling pins. Bailey whirled toward the formerly sleeping imp, who now stood nervously on a podium.

 

“Did you let the animals out of their cages?!”

 

“No, sir, it wasn’t me!”

 

The imp noticed the audience laughing and pointing at the drawn mustache and glasses on his face. “Fuck me” was written on his forehead. Bailey stared at the imp with crossed arms. “What’s that on your face?”

 

“What’s what on my face?” the imp asked. Then he looked into a nearby distorted mirror on the side wall and screamed.

 

“Shit! Get this marker off!”

 

One of the snake trapeze artists got distracted and let out an opera sound as she flipped in a circle from one swing to the next. A bear balancing on a tightrope plummeted into a safety net. “Whoa!”

 

He squirmed as he tried to free himself from the tangled rope. A dragon, who had been juggling fire sticks, coughed up flames that spread onto the ground. Two winged imps doused the flames with pails of water. Around a pole on a high podium with a banner reading “The Sensational Succubus Imp,” Tilla glanced around, expressing concern and suspicion.

 

Bardum chuckled nervously as he stood in the spotlight. “All part of the show, folks! Just wanted to add some…chaos to the mix!” His top hat flew off his head. “Whoa!”

 

“Who did this?” Bailey muttered to Donner.

 

“You think we’re gonna get caught?” Blitzo whispered to Fizzarolli and Barbie Wire.

 

“Not a chance!” Fizzarolli replied.

 

The trio were laughing under their breaths in the stands…until the shadow of Donner hovered over them. They looked up in fear at his glowing face.

 

“Howdy, partner,” Blitzo replied nervously, dipping his cowboy hat over his face.

 

0 0 0

Blitzo, Barbie, and Fizzarolli sweat and groaned as they scooped up animal poop into pails under the watchful eyes of Bailey and Donner.

 

“Why did Satan torment me with such reckless, destructive, blasphemous children?” Donner glowered.

 

“So, I’m Blitzo’s brother, right?” Fizzarolli joked.

 

“Silence,” spat Donner. “I seek to help build a legacy in show business and your only thought is to amuse yourselves by tearing it down!”

 

“It was just a few pranks,” Barbie said.

 

“Well, those ‘few pranks,’” Tilla added, arms folded, “Could’ve put our fellow performers in danger!” Then he muttered under her breath, “Though the monkey one was pretty funny.”

 

Donner gave her a look of disbelief before continuing. “Have your mother and I taught you nothing?”

 

“You taught us to...have fun?” Barbie asked.

 

“The circus is not just about ‘fun.’ It is a big responsibility, one that could make or break our family in the future. It is about time you learned the true meaning of responsibility.”

 

He stared down at Blitzo. “Especially you, Blitzo.”

 

Blitzo softly gulped.

 

“Get back to work,” Donner said. “Come on, Tilla, you still have part two of your Succubus Imp act.” Donner sang, “Horns of a succubus, face of an imp, who in hell is she? Not a wimp!”

 

“That slogan will be stuck in my head now,” Tilla sighed, eyes tired.

 

Blitzo looked longingly at his mother who gave him an apologetic look before she was led away.

 

Blitzo muttered out loud. “Why does papa blame me for everything?”

 

“All of us are in trouble,” Barbie said with a shrug, straining with a shovel and wrinkling her nose. “Maybe he has more expectations for you.”

 

“Unfair expectations,” Blitzo glowered.

 

“Hey, none of us like it either,” Fizzarolli mentioned. “We’ll just have to be more careful.”

 

“Don’t worry, Blitzo,” said Barbie. “Once we work through our problems, we’ll all be famous someday. Our parents will be so proud of us! You’ll see.”

 

“I sure hope so,” Blitzo said, as he focused back on his grueling task. He and Fizzarolli glanced over at a bold green poster with Mammon’s smiling face. He was a jester with a white face and sharp white teeth. Dollar signs surrounded him on the sides. He wore a black and yellow jester cap with bells and three pointed sides on it. The caption read in bold letters: “Ruler of Greed says: Go For The Green and Live Your Life!” The bottom message read, “See Mammon’s Stunning Performances on TV!”

 

“When I grow up, I’m gonna be just like him!” Fizzarolli declared, admiration in his eyes. “I’ll be rich and famous, and he may even get to see me perform!”

 

“Good luck with that happening,” Barbie mentioned with a roll of her eyes. “We can barely make ends meet. Being in the circus with a kind of new family is better than the world out there, at least.”

 

“I’ll have to agree with sis on that one,” Blitzo added, eyes downcast. “Our parents…they’re depending on us. It’s not like there’s a better way to live around here…”

 

Something inside Blitzo wasn’t quite sure what to believe. For even as he interacted with his circus crew and enjoyed himself, Blitzo still had vivid dreams of singing his heart out on stage to a clapping crowd.

 

 

0 0 0

Part Three: Helluva Entertainment

1989

Blitzo, ten years old, was soon ready for his first live performance. He, his sister and Fizzarolli had practiced for many years and were one step closer to doing the professional acts.

 

As Blitzo was getting ready, he saw shadowy figures of two people against a yellow wall. Judging from their stances and loud voices, it looked like they were arguing. He inched closer.

 

“What the fuck were you thinking?!” A female voice.

 

“What?” A male voice.

 

“Getting close to that winged imp dancer and almost leading her to our bedroom!”

 

“I did no such thing.”

 

“Don’t act like I’m stupid, I saw everything.”

 

“You were spying on me, that’s what.”

 

A cool chill spread to Blitzo’s core. It was his parents. They had been arguing more recently…but nothing like this. Barbie appeared silently behind him.

 

“So, what if I decided to flirt with Robin Redcrest for a while?” Donner asked. “She keeps mentioning how proficient I am in helping to manage this circus business. And also, she thinks you’re a beautiful, amazing…”

 

Tilla glared.

 

“Uh…perplexed, lady?”

 

“Our relationship is nobody’s business,” Tilla stated, hands on her hips, sharp teeth showing. “And do you know what else shouldn’t be seen as a business in general?”

 

“What could possibly…”

 

“Our interactions with our kids!” Tilla cut him off. “Your family! I don’t know what the hell’s gotten into you, but you act like we’re just your performing pawns for the next great profit!”

 

“I love you all very much,” Donner said, “But you have to understand…our legacy is on the line! One huge mistake could cost us this job.”

 

“You worried about your pride being bruised after another lost job?”

 

“I’m worried about ending up on the streets. I’m worried for our kids’ futures. This life is the only one they’ve known for years. The devastation they would feel…” Donner’s voice cracked a bit, “…if we were all kicked out just like that…it’d be impossible to imagine. We have no choice.”

 

“We had a decent living space before…” Tilla began.

 

“Before we moved away from our former home and left it for other thugs to squander. Face it, Tilly, without my idea to join the circus and persevere, we’d be broke, searching for jobs in vain. Even that bartending job of yours wasn’t gonna last long!”

 

Blitzo and Barbie listened with terrified eyes.

 

“It’s always about you isn’t it, Don?” Tilla asked. “A single night-stand is never enough. One woman is never enough. You constantly seek greener pastures without seeing the wealth that’s right in front of you.”

 

“Which is?”

 

“Your fuckin’ family!”

 

“I’m just trying to do my job!” Donner spat. White scars were visible on his face. “I have to please Mr. Bardum who has to please Lord Mammon. Thus, if we don’t train hard enough…”

 

“Fuck all this work and training! You might seek hot chicks and money but is all that worth it if your own children suffer from fatigue and stress every day?”

 

“We are imps, Tilly. We are born to endure hardships and we are born to seek survival, no matter the cost.”

 

Tilla growled. “There has to be another way. Be a true man and start showing real compassion to Blitzo and Barbie. Blitzo, especially!”

 

Donner scoffed. “My son and his silly musical theater dreams! He reeks of homosexual, indecipherable weakness.”

 

“His dreams are not that different from circus performances, mind you!” Tilla flipped her hair back. “Blitzo works his ass off for you and all of us.”

 

“He’ll have to really prove it tonight.”

 

Tilla’s eyes narrowed after a pause. “What do you mean?” 

 

“I talked to Bardum earlier and…never mind, it ain’t important.”

 

Tilla clenched her fists. “If I had a better sense of who I was living with for the past several years, I would’ve gotten a divorce right then!”

 

A loud thump and a yelp sounded out as Donner shoved his wife hard against the wall. Little Blitzo and Barbie softly gasped with watery eyes. Their small red hands clutched each other tightly. They could only see movements of their parents’ distorted, monstrous, horned shadows.

 

“You will do no such thing,” Donner threatened. “You have a job to do. So. Do. It.”

 

Tilla weakly nodded, gasping. He let go and she slid to the floor. Donner sighed and stomped off, shortly before Tilla slouched to a nearby dressing room with a theater mirror inside. As Donner’s footsteps grew closer, Barbie grabbed Blitzo, and they raced toward the changing rooms backstage.

 

Neither of them said a word as they got into their costumes.

 

0 0 0

 

Blitzo stood behind the red curtains, looking nervous. He touched his black mark on his forehead as if it could give him courage. His sister held his hand, Fizzarolli holding his other hand. Blitzo wore a dark blue suit with money symbols on it.

 

“You’ve got this, bro,” Barbie said to him, clad in a bold red dress decorated with white flames.

 

“We’ve got this,” Fizzarolli replied, wearing a green and white clown costume complete with a red nose.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen!” announced Bardum, a spotlight on him on a podium. He wore his usual red cape, suit, and black top hat. His cane glinted in the spotlight. “The moment you’ve all been waiting for has arrived! First, presenting your favorite exotic beauty…Tilla the Sensational Succubus Imp!”

 

A waving Tilla, dressed in midnight blue, emerged from the curtains, leaped onto a nearby pole and spun around it upside down. The crowd marveled at her graceful moves. Tilla sang some melodious notes as sensual music played from skull-shaped speakers. Many male imps in the stands were flattered and aroused.

 

After her pole tricks, Tilla did flips from a golden hoop hanging from the ceiling. She was able to bend all the way backwards, grabbing hold of her toes and hoisting herself forward while keeping her balance. The hoop spun and matched her rapid movements. Her legs and arms were spread out like a starfish for several minutes. Tilla did a somersault in the air and landed on her feet on a high blue mat. The crowd applauded. After a lion approached her, Tilla calmly walked up to it, stepping off the mat. The lion briefly roared at her before it gradually calmed. Tilla smiled and stroked its thick mane, the eyes on the lion’s face and body closing in relaxation. She hopped onto the lion’s back and rode back to the stage as she got a standing ovation. Cameras flashed as she posed for pictures and waved. Getting off the lion, Tilla bowed with a flourish before moving off to the side.

 

The next act featured “Do Or Die” Donner juggling flame-tipped sticks while riding atop an elephant. He wore a bold red and gold suit and had plastic devil horns on his head. A fencing sword was strapped at his side. At one time, he swallowed a flame whole without any harm. After jumping off the elephant, he tossed a set of knives at imps who were strapped to spinning wheels. The knives landed point blank at the red bullseyes around the terrified imps. After that, a giant three-headed white horse galloped into the arena, their slender eyes glowing golden, red, and blue. Donner dodged a fireball from the middle horse’s mouth. Their manes of hair were long, as were their necks. The crowd gasped and cheered as Donner jumped onto its back and held on. He managed to bring the horse to a complete stop and bow.

 

“Marvelous performances!” Bardum cheered in approval. “And now for our final act of tonight, best for last, please welcome our new star implings…” A drumbeat sounded.

 

“Fizzarolli and his friends: the Amazing Imp Siblings!”

 

Fizzarolli, Blitzo, and Barbie Wire stepped under the spotlights, smiling nervously and waving to the surrounding crowd.

 

“Welcome, welcome, ladies and gentlemen!” called Fizzarolli. “I am Fizzarolli, and these are my friends, Blitzo and Barbie Wire! Show them some love!”

 

The crowd clapped again.

 

Fizzarolli whispered and elbowed a nervous Blitzo: “Your cue.”

 

“O-oh, right.”

 

After telling some half-hearted sex jokes, the crowd grew silent and bored.

 

“Come on, Blitzo, where’s your sense of passion?” Fizzarolli asked as he began to play a trumpet. “Trumpet!”

 

“I’m nervous, okay?” he replied.

 

“Like I’m not?” Fizzarolli whispered. “Just do what Barbie is doing.”

 

Blitzo watched as his sister did a seductive dance on stage, her middle finger up and a smirk on her face. She appeared to be vocalizing as she took strands of barbed wire from Bailey’s hands and wrapped them around her ram horns. More wire was wrapped around her dress and waist like a new fashion statement. Then with a mighty leap, she snaked up a high pole off to the side of the arena.

 

With a safety net close below her, Barbie balanced on a tightrope, holding a long stick with both hands.

 

“Hahaha!” Donner cheered with Bardum and the others.

 

“That’s what I call, Barbie Barbed Wire!” Bardum exclaimed as Barbie finished her new signature act.

 

For the middle part, Fizzarolli and Blitzo sang and swore on stage together. After the song, Fizzarolli did cartwheels and Blitzo tamed a young black hell-horse with a black mane and glowing teal eyes. The being had appeared out of nowhere shortly after Blitzo finished another one of his acts. In the blink of an eye, the horse was standing right next to him.

 

Strangely enough, Blitzo had connected with the animal without even trying.

 

“Looks like that strange horse loves you!” Bardum mentioned to Blitzo. “Where did it even come from?”

 

The small space around the horse appeared red, pink, and distorted. Static and black digital blocks hovered around the majestic being. The horse looked at Blitzo and let out a soft otherworldly neigh, staring intently into his eyes. Blitzo somehow knew her name was Spindle.

 

‘That’s interesting,’ he thought with a smile as the horse galloped quickly into the shadows. ‘Not even Barbie is this good with the horses.’

 

Donner then walked over to Bardum and whispered in his ear. Bardum grinned. “Great idea!”

 

Bardum took his place back at the podium. “Alright folks! We have a special surprise for our finale tonight! Blitzo’s last act of the night shall be…”

 

Bailey and two other imps dressed in clown makeup were carrying something big into the arena. A cover was lifted, and it fell to the ground.

 

“The Lightning Blitz Cannon Blast!”

 

The crowd burst into cheers as a large, towering blue cannon was revealed, decorated with red stars, lightning bolts and the words “Fast As Lightning” decorated in gold on the side. Bailey slapped a gold sparkly helmet onto Blitzo and put a lightning pin on his navy-blue circus outfit.

 

Blitzo looked around in a panic. “W-wait the fuck up…I didn’t agree to…”

 

Bailey shoved him forward toward a nearby black ladder. Nearby, Tilla watched in concern.

 

“Don!” she hollered to her husband. “What is the meaning of this?! The cannon isn’t for imps below thirteen at least!”

 

“I’ve watched him gradually progress and I think he’s ready for it,” Donner replied. “I’m surprised Barbie Wire isn’t anxious to try it.”

 

Barbie Wire, too, looked concerned as she slid down the pole and tossed her long stick aside. She raced over. “Blitzo! You didn’t tell me you were going to fly out of a fuckin’ cannon!”

 

“I didn’t!”

 

Blitzo looked at the crowd, seeing his father in front, arms folded, tapping his foot impatiently. The closest practice Blitzo had gotten to being fired from a cannon was jumping around on pogo sticks.

 

“Any day now, boy!” Donner called.

 

“Uh Bailey…,” Blitzo began, “Any chance you could…call this off? It’s my first time…”

 

“Too late for that,” he replied. “You have to do your new act…it’s in your name. Besides, it’s Hell; there’s a first time for everything!”

 

Donner caught sight of Blitzo. “You wanna make me proud, right son? Don’t tell me you’re gonna walk away like a pussy little coward.”

 

Blitzo gulped and felt dizzy. Here was his father throwing an unexpected, jarring challenge into his face. He had pushed him and Barbie for many months. Ever since getting close to Bardum, Donner had become more preoccupied with the progress of his children rather than their overall wellbeing.

 

It was almost like his father wanted him to fail.

 

A chorus of boos and impatient groans rose from the crowd, yellow and red glowing eyes staring into Blitzo from every angle.

 

“Cannon! Cannon! Cannon!” they chanted, the words increasing the nervous thumps of Blitzo’s heart.

 

“It’s okay, bro,” assured Barbie. “I’ll go ahead and do it for you…”

 

Blitzo shoved her lightly to the side, a sudden look of determination on his face. “No.” Barbie had progressed ahead of him in several events too many.

 

As if reading his mind, Barbie said, “You’re better than me at lots of things: weapons, jokes, animal taming…”

 

But Blitzo ignored her and took a deep breath. Now was the chance to prove to his father that he had the courage to do anything.

 

Blitzo climbed up the small ladder.

 

“He’s gonna do it, everyone!” Bardum called as the crowd renewed their cheers.

 

“Good luck, Blitzo,” Barbie said with a smile and a thumbs up.

 

The two imps who carried the cannon, placed a large sturdy trampoline just under the tent opening. The trampoline had a red target marked on it.

 

Nearby, the fat imp whom Blitzo, Fizzarolli, and Barbie Wire had kept pranking for many years, sulked in the shadows next to a cage that he had moved forward toward an opening to the arena. He grinned a toothy grin as he unlatched the lock. The animal’s eyes glowed red.

 

“Payback time, bitches,” he snorted.

 

Blitzo squeezed into the barrel of the cannon, arms and legs pinned at his sides. All he could see were hanging hoops and a large hole that had been opened at the top of the striped tent. The cannon moved slightly and angled upward into position. Bailey gave a thumbs up to his assistants as a drum rolled.

 

“Satan help me,” Blitzo prayed, closing his eyes.

 

The fuse at the bottom of the cannon was lit, orange sparks flying. Bailey stood back and covered his ears, as the chubby imp grinned wider. The cage door was opened when…

 

Boom!

 

The cannon fired Blitzo upward in smoke through the hanging hoops. Time seemed to slow down as he rose higher and higher. A vicious manticore escaped his cage and rammed wildly against the trampoline, knocking it forward a few feet. In the arena, Barbie and Tilla yelled in fright as the manticore’s maw opened wide with a deafening roar. A scorpion tail swished dangerously at the animal’s back. The beast swiped at Tilla, and she cried out.

 

“Blitzo!” Barbie cried, racing toward the trampoline as fast as she could. Barbie ducked as the manticore fired deadly barbs over their heads. Bailey and his assistants rushed after the creature, trying to slow it down. Some audience members gasped while others took pictures. Tilla, Barbie and another imp quickly moved the trampoline back into position. Blitzo had reached the climax of his ascent, getting a glimpse of the starry sky above. Then his stomach dropped as he felt himself descend. He screamed a shrill yell as air rushed past his head. Tilla breathed a sigh of relief, smiling at her daughter.

 

The manticore continued its roaring rampage before rearing on its hind legs. With a mighty stomp, the beast reared on its legs and smashed a nearby wooden crate full of knives and harpoons with a large paw. Several blades darted out, sticking into the ground. A lone harpoon flew from the remains of the box toward Tilla, who turned with wide eyes…

 

Blitzo bounced safely onto the trampoline before landing onto the ground in a dusty heap.

 

“Oww…”

 

He brushed himself off and stood up. The beast was finally brought to the ground when Bailey tripped it with a whip to its front paws. The weapons had barely missed Barbie.

 

“Are you okay?” Barbie asked, helping her brother up.

 

Blitzo brushed himself off, removing his helmet. “Yeah, I think so…”

 

Both twins then stopped short when they saw Tilla. Their mother looked at them with love and fear in her eyes before collapsing backward to the dirt ground. A harpoon spear had gutted her in her core. Her dress had been torn by the monster’s claws.

 

Several gasps and screams rang out.

 

“Momma!” Blitzo and Barbie cried. They raced to her side and bent down next to her. Donner arrived shortly after, staring in disbelief.

 

“Calm down, calm down!” Bardum called to the gasping and concerned crowd. “We’ll have a brief breakdown shortly, grab your popcorn and peanuts now…”

 

Tilla weakly smiled at her children and coughed.

 

“My little impling stars…I’m so proud of you…”

 

Barbie nuzzled her head close to her mother’s face.

 

“What the fuck happened?! Oh Tilly, I’m so sorry…” Donner pleaded. “For everything.”

 

For the first time, Blitzo could see his father wiping sudden stray tears from his eyes.

 

Tilla breathed and heaved heavily. Using the last of her strength, she unclasped her red skull necklace and handed it to Blitzo. Blitzo took the necklace with shaking hands. “Momma…”

 

“It’s about time you had this. Family heirloom…”

 

Tilla’s body cooled, and her face grew a deathly pale red.

 

“You two… will do great things…love you, both…I…”

 

Tilla’s hand went limp and landed on the ground. Her head lulled to the side, and she let out her last wheezing breath. She was soon still.

 

The empty glazed look in her eyes would haunt Blitzo and Barbie for many years to come.

 

“NOOOO!” Barbie wailed; head raised in the air in despair. Blitzo’s eyes spilled tears as he sobbed into Tilla’s bloodied chest. Bardum and his assistants arrived.

 

“Well shit,” he mentioned in shock. “Looks like our show is over.”

 

Bardum plucked the blood-stained harpoon out, blood droplets splattering in every direction.

 

“I’m sorry youngsters,” he said somberly to the twins. “If there was no doubt your mother was dead for good…”

 

He examined the harpoon handle closely.

 

“…Well, this is confirmation right here.”

 

Donner gasped as he peered closer. Almost hidden on the black handle were engraved white crosses, some swirls, and an ichthys fish symbol.

 

“Go to your rooms,” Donner said lowly to the twins.

 

“Papa…” Blitzo began.

 

“Leave me!”

 

Knowing better than to argue, Blitzo and Barbie raced out of sight, pushing past herds of demons exiting the arena. Donner sat on his knees with his head in his hands for several minutes. He then stood up and cleared his throat.

 

“What should I do with that?” Donner asked Bardum, mentioning to the harpoon.

 

“What are you waiting for, Donner?! Wash it up and we’ll sell it to the highest bidder tomorrow. It’ll help after this disaster tonight.”

 

Bardum turned to Bailey. “Clean up the stage and arena. And search the weapons for anything of value. There must have been a mix-up.”

 

“But they are all ordinary,” he said.

 

“Obviously this one wasn’t! Now go, you dumbass bloke!”

 

Bailey stared long and hard at the stained weapon in Bardum’s hand. Then with a hard yank, he took it from Bardum and tossed it into a nearby lit torch.

 

Bardum stared aghast at Bailey. “Oh, you daddy fucker! What kind of employee of Mammon throws money down the drain?”

 

Bailey flipped off Bardum and walked away.

 

“Don’t you walk away from me, mister!” Bardum demanded.

 

Bailey tugged on his thick chain necklace. “Go ahead, dum-bar! Fire me if you wish. I’m gonna grab a beer and comfort those kids next time I spot them.”

 

Bardum them looked on in terror as flames from the charred broken weapon sputtered and flew in a breeze onto the tent walls.

 

“Fuck,” he muttered at the spreading flames.

 

0 0 0

Donner, Blitzo, Barbie Wire, Fizzarolli and all their circus friends attended a brief funeral for Tilla. There were black roses over her coffin and offerings of sweets and pieces of meat. Some attendees wore black, others wore white. One performer wore a red dress.

 

“May Lucifer and Satan watch over this blessed sinner soul that was Tilla,” Bardum began as a drizzle fell. “She played an incredible role and has helped us grow as a group. The Helluva Hooligans won’t be the same without her.”

 

The circus band played a somber tune; Blitzo, Fizzarolli and Barbie holding hands. There were condolences, eulogies, and even some tricks after a dinner. As Tilla’s coffin was lowered into a burning pit, Donner sobbed quietly. After Blitzo tried to console Donner, he was met with a sudden punch to the face. Blitzo strode away without another word.

 

The fire had ruined the tent, so the crew had to use a spare one and pack whatever else they had. Blitzo sat alone under a gray evening sky, watching somberly as the crew packed up tents and gathered supplies for the road. A soft noise between a growl and a neigh snorted behind him. Blitzo turned and saw the large white three-headed horse looking at him with eyes of gold, red and blue.

 

“Epona. Equine. Ecstasy,” Blitzo smiled, calling them by name. The horses whinnied in response.

 

The heads had sharp spikes arching upward and pointed fangs were visible in the three mouths. Smoke flowed from one of their nostrils. After Blitzo let the horse sniff his hand, he nuzzled his head into the heads of the three horses. His crimson hand stroked the horses’ tangled manes and rummaged over a few dark bruises and old scars on their large coat.

 

“Do you feel battered and broken, too?” Blitzo asked softly.

 

One of the horse heads whined a bit, while the others snorted. A large wet nose sniffed the emerging bruise on Blitzo’s cheek where his father had hit him. For a long while, they stood there in the drizzle, connecting without words.

 

“Come on, beasts,” grunted a large muscular elephant demon, grabbing hold of the muzzle that connected around the horses’ three heads. The animal was sharply led back to a large trailer, where a special cage was put in place. One of the horse heads looked sadly at Blitzo before turning away.

 

“I guess we are never totally free,” Blitzo thought, as he made his way back to his family.

 

0 0 0

 

The following night, a note that Bardum had received begot even more tragedy. With shaking hands, the showman read it in his private quarters.

 

“My dearest P.T. Bardum,

Why the sudden crash in ratings? Your young stars were doing so well. And now you just allowed an accident to happen? The fire could’ve consumed your stars and your wealth! Not to mention the rumors of misbehaving children in the last several years does not sound promising. Hell’s most prosperous circus would never allow these tragedies to happen. Or if it did, it would do so in a carefully planned way where I would be there to watch the show.

 

I’m currently in the process of finishing blueprints for a “Loo-Loo Land” theme park. One that could rival my pal Lucifer’s Lu-Lu World once and for all! I expect good results and good currency souls in the meantime!

 

Do not make this jester sad.

 

Signed, Lord Mammon.”

 

He had drawn his jester face by his name.

 

Bardum froze. “I…just wanted to have the best traveling museum…put on the greatest show for every demon. Was it not enough?”

 

Bardum cried and wheezed, gasping for breath. After a while, he was writhing on the floor, a stroke extinguishing the light in his eyes.

 

After about an hour, the door opened. The assistants gasped and covered his body with a black sheet. They carried him out the door, where everyone watched.

 

“Our circus is doomed!” wailed a lion performer.

 

Footsteps tapped softly into Bardum’s empty room. His black top hat, red cape and cane lay on the floor, discarded without an owner.

 

That is…until a hand picked up each item one by one.

 

Another note had been left beside the letter after the figure scribbled a sentence: “We will not let you down again, Lord Mammon.”

 

 

 

Blitzo, Barbie and the others were called into a meeting the next morning. They saw a tall figure emerge into the spotlight on a round podium, red curtains on either side. The entire crowd fell silent…unusually so.

 

He was the new ring master; dressed in an elegant black suit with a white collar, a red bow tie, gold buttons and gold ribbon shoulder straps. He wore black pants, tall black boots, and the long blood-red cape. A black top hat with a red trim rested between long backward curved striped horns, pointing downward like swords, and ending at his back. The lion cane had been replaced by a black cane with a red metal imp head on it.

 

The long red tail with a sharp black tip, a few white dots on the surface and several black spikes along it…

 

The pointed hooked crimson face, decorated with scars and a thin neck…

 

The heart-skull black mark on his forehead…his red and yellow eyes gleaming with malice and blame as they locked onto the twins.

 

Barbie Wire and Blitzo were speechless.

 

There was no doubt it was their father.

 

Donner spoke into the microphone, a deadly snake-like whip curled around his arm. His sharp yellow teeth shone in the dim reddish light. “My fellow stars, staff and servants…the time has come for a new era in showbiz to blaze to life.”

 

0 0 0

Whip lashes, bruises, scratches, and broken hearts…

 

Those were just some of the abuses and torments that Barbie and Blitzo were put through on a daily basis.

 

“It’s your fault!” he seethed at Blitzo. Blitzo protested but another blow silenced him.

 

Crack!

 

“Because of your recklessness at the show, your dear mother is dead. What were you thinking?”

 

“It was an accident!” Blitzo cried.

 

Lash! Crack!

 

Blitzo tried not to cry out too much as another gash appeared on his back.

 

“As if! An imp told me that you and that clown Fizzarolli let that manticore loose into the arena as a prank beforehand! I should’ve known never to trust you guys.”

 

“It wasn’t me, I swear! Or Barbie or Fizzarolli! That punk framed me!”

 

“Lying prude!”

 

Crack! Crack! Lash!

 

Barbie watched in tears as Donner insulted Blitzo some more. “You may as well kiss your future musical theater dreams goodbye!”

 

He then turned to his daughter.

 

“And you! Why didn’t you try and stop your brother? Although I was very proud with your performances, the least you could’ve done was double check that the cage was locked.”

 

“I…don’t know what to say…” Barbie whimpered softly.

 

Donner growled and sighed. “Well say nothin,’ little bitch, and get back to work! Both of you!”

 

The twins flinched as Donner added, looking into their souls, “And I expect stellar results or else you’ll wish for the angels of death to come visit you.”

 

Barbie and Blitzo could only watch as the man they once loved, morphed further into a greedy, beer drinking, womanizing, asshole.

 

Once they became teens, they forgot about trying to please their father.

 

They only knew one thing when the times grew rough…the show had to go on.

 

Part Four: Helluva Tragedy

 

1997

 

Sitting on a brown wooden bench somewhere in the Greed Ring sat Blitzo and his close friend Fizzarolli. They were currently finishing snow cones in front of them. Blitzo had cherry and Fizzarolli had lime. Barbie Wire had gotten her blueberry snow cone earlier. The colors reminded Blitzo of their favorite Rings they had visited during their many travels in the circus. Barbie’s was Lust, Fizzarolli’s was Greed and Blitzo had become fond of Imp City in the Pride Ring.

 

The traveling trio were now teenagers…and official professional members of the Helluva Hooligans. They could do nearly any circus act, even ones with cannons, fire, weapons, and wild beasts. The only downside was the constant scrutinization by Blitzo’s father. Donner had aged into a vicious sinister showman who could manipulate his staff and audiences alike. Fortunately, the twins had toughened up to the point where they brushed off Donner’s scathing remarks with middle fingers and swears.

 

Fizzarolli was known for his stunning crude comedy and graceful flips. Plushies of himself were sold to children all throughout the Rings. Fizzarolli was amazed at how popular he was becoming. He was often nicknamed “Holy Moly Rolli,” by fans.

 

Barbie Wire was an expert in tightrope walking and seductive belly dancing, along with doing tricks in hoops and leaping among barbed wire, hence her name. She was often seen wearing revealing clothing and smoking cigarettes during breaks. Males and females would watch her closely with lust in their eyes. Barbie seemed pleased by the attention, but she was picky with her partners.

 

Blitzo, of course, performed proficiently at singing, cannon blasting, weapon use and animal taming. He had bonded with all the circus horses over the years, unafraid to show his affection. He and Barbie became known to the public as “The Amazing Imp Twins.”

 

After they finished their snow cones, they stood up and posed for a selfie, using a rectangular camera. Blitzo had braces on his sharp fangs and a black spiked collar around his neck. His tank top was black with “Mammon” on it written in large yellow letters. Fizzarolli had his arm around Blitzo, yellow bracelets hanging from his wrists. He wore a yellow torn shirt with a black “M” and a money sign on it, also referencing Mammon. White eye makeup was over Fizzarolli’s red and yellow eyes. The black circus mark was prominent on his forehead and black dots were on his crimson cheeks.

 

The two imps smiled arm in arm as they made their way around the Greed Ring. They reminisced over pranks, drives around the Rings, shows, and various shenanigans.

 

“Remember when we were little, we’d watch ‘Mammon the Magnificent’ every Saturday morning?” Fizzarolli asked.

 

“Oh yeah!” Blitzo smiled as the memories flashed back. Fizzarolli, Barbie and Blitzo were little kids and had watched the show on an old-fashioned television and ate popcorn from a bowl. “Mammon would tell the audience different jokes and show us the many ways of slaying those vicious demon-wolves!”

 

“Oh!” Fizzarolli called. “Remember that catchy House of Mammon song?”

 

Fizzarolli soon sang some verses, which Blitzo quickly followed.

 

“Come one, come all, denizens of Hell

To greener pastures oh so swell!

If you ever feel poor, depressed, or low,

The kingdom of Mammon is where you can go

 

A land full of treasures, greatness indeed

Amusement and games for your every need

Plenty of goods for you to feed

Experience that and more in Mammon’s House of Greed!”

 

A splendid golden circus had appeared on the TV screen, gold coins and dollar bills raining from the sky. Demon children were laughing and playing in piles of gold coins.

 

In the present, Fizzarolli and Blitzo did a fun random dance number along a brick wall. They held hands and leapt from building to building.

 

“Demons and implings great and small

Join the fun and have a ball

You know who to call…

Mammon! Mammon! (He’s the one!)

He’d be slammin’!

He’d be jammin’!”

(Greater than the sun!)”

 

“Feed, feed, your every need

In Mammon’s House of Greeeeed!

In Mammon’s House of Greeeeed!”

 

Mammon on TV had ended with a pose, a wink and a “Cha-ching!” followed by maniacal laughter.

 

 

On a rooftop, Blitzo and Fizzarolli spun around in a circle, hands together. They found themselves staring into each other’s eyes. Fizzarolli was a lot like Blitzo in many ways; energetic, bold, and always ready for a good time. Although Blitzo loved his sister, Fizzarolli provided a sense of relief from his family life and the stresses of the circus.

 

Fizzarolli had such a sweet, genuine look on his face, with or without makeup. They had gone through countless routines and adventures together over the years. Blitzo couldn’t imagine having anyone else as his best friend.

 

“Ah those were the good times,” Blitzo mentioned.

 

Blitzo and Fizzarolli laughed as they harmonized and finished their song. Blitzo and Fizzarolli slowly leaned their faces toward each other, the world fading away. Their lips briefly grazed before Fizzarolli excitedly pulled back.

 

“Speaking of good times…” Fizzarolli said.

 

Blitzo smirked. “Going for more than a kiss, are we?”

 

“Maybe later,” Fizzarolli declared, returning a smirk. “But I almost forgot! Tomorrow, we have a grand opening performance in the Greed Ring at the Big Top! And Lord Mammon’s supposed to be there!”

 

Blitzo’s eyes shined, and his grin grew wide. “No fucking way!”

 

“I’m serious, my friend! The Big Man himself will finally get to see us in person!”

 

Blitzo and Fizzarolli jumped for joy and hollered in excitement.

 

“I’m so nervous, I might shit my pants!” Fizzarolli admitted.

 

“Me too!” Blitzo added.

 

The imps ceased their jumps.

 

“I’ve been waiting years for this moment,” Fizzarolli explained. He strode toward a Mammon poster between two fliers that read, “Blitzo and Barbie at the Big Top: One Night Only!” Like “Ozzie” for Asmodeus, Mammon’s common nickname was “Mamoney.”

 

 

Fizzarolli tenderly touched Mammon’s face on the poster with his sharp, black-painted nails. “All these years of working our asses off, worrying of failing and going broke on the streets. I’m so glad I signed Mammon’s special contract last year. This could finally be my big moment!”

 

Fizzarolli giggled until he saw Blitzo’s glare.

 

“Uh…our big moment I mean.”

 

“And mine as well,” called a familiar voice. Barbie Wire strut forward, wearing a black dress with a yellow Mammon jester face on it. “Anything with Mr. Mamoney in it is great enough for me.”

 

Fizzarolli’s cheeks turned pink as he walked toward her. “Hi, Barb,” he said sheepishly. Barbie Wire smiled at him, wearing red lipstick. “Fizzy.” Barbie rang a slender finger down one of Fizzarolli’s striped horns.

 

“Barb?” Blitzo asked, eyebrow raised.

 

“That’s her nickname,” Fizzarolli stated. “Close friends can have nicknames, right?”

 

Fizzarolli pulled Barbie Wire close, and she batted her eyelashes. Blitzo made a disgusted face.

 

“But she’s my sister!”

 

Barbie Wire smirked and did a brief middle finger at Blitzo. “But you’re my brother!” she retorted.

 

Fizzarolli pulled both twins close. “So, who says I can’t have the best of both worlds?”

 

He winked before separating the hug. Blitzo groaned in frustration as Barbie rolled her eyes.

 

Fizzarolli added, “I’ve known you two for a long time, already. Love is love, even in Hell, right?”

 

“Whatever, Fizz.” Then Blitzo fired at his sister. “But he’s known me the longest, bitch!”

 

“Guess what, shit clown?” Barbie responded, hands on her hips, “He and I have done more performances together. And it appears you’re falling behind on your annual fan ratings, brother.”

 

She winked and stuck out her forked tongue.

 

Fizzarolli held a piece of paper that showed their faces next to stars. Fizzarolli’s face had 4.5/5 stars, Barbie had 4/5 while Blitzo only had 3.

 

“So, what if I’m not as fuckin’ famous right now?!” Blitzo shot back, his face red, eyes angry. “My jokes are still legendary!”

 

Fizzarolli whispered to Barbie. “They are getting kinda stale.”

 

“I can hear you!” Blitzo spat.

 

Fizzarolli rolled his eyes. “Jealousy does not look flattering on you, Blitzo.”

 

“It really doesn’t,” Barbie added.

 

“Will you two cum-suckers shut the fuck up?” Blitzo glowered, jealousy raging in his veins. Blitzo enjoyed spending time with Fizzarolli alone and Barbie alone, but whenever the two of them got together, things got heated fast, in multiple ways.

 

Blitzo looked away from their perplexed faces. “Let’s just get ready for the show.”

 

“Good plan,” Barbie called. She and Fizzarolli held hands as they faced a downward road.

 

“Hey, where are you going?” Blitzo called as Fizzarolli and Barbie Wire began to wander off.

 

“To bed,” Barbie replied with a laugh.

 

Blitzo crossed his arms, his tail swishing from side to side slightly. “If you perverts come back and I find any babies, I’ll kick your asses to the pentagram moon.”

 

All three of them laughed out loud before going quiet.

 

“Seriously, no funny business,” Blitzo warned, narrowing his eyes.

 

“Will do, Fast as Lightning,” Fizzarolli joked as he and Barbie did cartwheels down the road. Blitzo did two middle fingers at them before sulking away.

 

0 0 0

The next evening had arrived, the green sky of Greed revealing a moon and shining stars. All three imps were in their respective changing rooms backstage. Barbie Wire was putting the finishing touches on her costume: silver barbed wire-like sequin designs on a red and black unitard. Barbed wire spiraled harmlessly around her black ram horns, while she wore a wire collar and bracelets to match. There was even barbed wire snaking around her tail. The silver sequins emphasized the shape of her seductive breasts. Her lipstick was red, and her sharp nails were black. She smiled a sharp-toothed grin while looking in the large circular mirror decorated with round bulbs on the rim.

 

“Are you ready, Barb?” called a serpent-like demon with rainbow-colored hair.

 

“Ready as ever,” Barbie replied, before taking her place behind the velvet red curtains.

 

With some effort, Fizzarolli got into his new jester outfit. It was black, white, and green with yellow money signs on the bottom near the green trim. His striped pants were red and white, and his high shoes were black with dollar signs on the tips. The yellow and black jester hat had three folds with bells hanging from the ends.

 

Fizzarolli looked in dismay in the mirror near his hat. One of his horns had caused a tear in the fabric covering it, the horn tip visible.

 

Although dozens of demons around Fizzarolli actively praised him for his performances, there were many others who turned their noses up at the mere sight of him.

 

“Look at that imp scum, trying to buy himself into showbiz,” one demon had whispered before Fizzarolli had arrived backstage, just enough so the imp could hear.

 

Another joined in. “Imps can’t do anything except nasty pranks, murders and squatting in their own filth! Little bitch probably caters to inbreeds.”

 

“Good riddance to you, low-class clown!” sneered a third.

 

Fizzarolli briefly touched the hard horns under his hat, briefly glancing at a nearby knife laying on the table. The blade shone under the round overhead lights.

 

How simple could it be…to get rid of his imp features altogether? Sure, it’d be painful, but that was surely not the worst he had experienced. How different would demons treat him if they didn’t know he was an imp in the first place? After all, he had received praise on stage, whereas in the streets, he received nothing more than passing glares that burned his core.

 

Fizzarolli found himself slowly reaching for the knife…

 

But…no. Not now. Especially not before the show. Even if the horns had become a mental hindrance in the past several years…wait, what the fuck was he even thinking?!

 

With a sigh, Fizzarolli retracted his hand from the knife, getting his thoughts back to the blissful world of escape and entertainment.

 

Time to prove to Mammon how devoted he really was.

 

At last, Blitzo had finished prepping himself for the show. He recited a few lines, while staring at himself nervously in the mirror. Unlike Fizzarolli, Blitzo and Barbie had no qualms about being seen as the true imps they were. If anything, proving to the world what they could do made things all the better.

 

Blitzo currently looked dashing in a sparkly red body suit decorated with gold and green lightning bolts. He even had a small Mammon jester accessory pin attached to his front for the occasion. Decorated on the back of his outfit was a gold horse head. Despite not associating himself with Donner anymore, he couldn’t help but imagine him shocked when Blitzo would blow the Rings away with his comedy and tricks.

 

Blitzo had looked up to Mammon deeply for many years…now was his chance to properly introduce and prove himself.

 

The three imps took their places behind the curtains.

 

“Presenting your favorite stars…you know em’, you love em’…Fizzarolli and the Amazing Imp Twins!” Donner announced under the spotlight.

 

Fizzarolli, Blitzo and Barbie Wire posed as they stepped out onto the stage. The arena stands surrounding them were filled to the brim with cheering and hollering demons. Some were holding up signs reading “We Love You Blitzo and Barbie!” Other signs read “Fizzarolli, Our Stunning Star!” A few more signs had drawings of barbed wire and a heart, a jester with money signs, and a horse with lightning bolts making up the mane.

 

“Thank you all for coming!” Blitzo recited in his showman voice into a microphone. “Your minds will be blown, and your eyes might miss some things, because I’m fast as lightning!”

 

Chuckles erupted.

 

“Barbie Wire, high on the wire, with a new spark up her sleeve,” Barbie trilled with a pose. Decorative sparks flew from her horns and hands.

 

“Holy moly, I’m Fizzarolli!” the imp added. “If you don’t hear any sex jokes right away, don’t be dicks about it! Because we have lots of acts cummin’ to ya, first!”

 

More laughter.

 

Blitzo then cast a wary eye at a seated figure up above.

 

Mammon sat in a high VIP section, scrutinizing every detail down below. Menacing Mammon was at least eight feet tall with a pale white face, glowing eyes, and a three-pointed black and dull gold jester hat with bells on his head. His jester outfit had matching colors and elegant designs on it. Wolf bodyguards and a few clowns with spears stood guard beside him. Mammon’s sharp gold toothed grin was enough to send shivers of fear and excitement down Blitzo’s spine.

 

Donner began: “Welcome one and all, to this spectacular night featuring Hell’s all-time favorite circus thespians: The Helluva Hooligans!”

 

More imps and demons dressed in bold costumes spread out and posed around the arena.

 

“And I’d like to formerly welcome His Greedy Marvelous Majesty, Lord Mammon, who has decided to witness the signature acts of my prized prodigies!”

 

More cheers as Mammon stood up, trumpets sounding as he waved. The three imps briefly lowered their heads in bows. He appeared to be staring straight into Blitzo and Fizzarolli’s souls as he sat back down.

 

“Now without further ado,” announced Donner, arms spread wide in the spotlight, cane in hand, “Let the spectacles commence!”

 

Blitzo, Fizzarolli, and Barbie Wire gave affirmative nods to each other as circus music blared.

 

This was going to be their best performance yet.

 

0 0 0

Their first act consisted of a welcoming musical to honor Mammon. As sinister circus music played, Blitzo, Barbie, and Fizzarolli broke out into song, singing Mammon’s “House of Greed.”

 

“Come one, come all, denizens of Hell

To greener pastures oh so swell!

If you ever feel poor, depressed or low,

The kingdom of Mammon is where you can go

 

A land full of treasures, greatness indeed

Amusement and games for your every need

Plenty of goods for you to feed

Experience that and more in Mammon’s House of Greed!”

 

Fizzarolli danced with both Barbie and Blitzo, the imps spinning in a circle. The audience clapped and tapped their feet to the music as confetti and streamers sprinkled to the ground. Mammon himself was enjoying the musical but was also anxious to see the imps do their signature tricks.

 

“Now that’s what I call a fucking masterpiece,” Mammon remarked. “Now let’s see what else you amusing little jokesters can do…”

 

0 0 0

The rest of the performances went off without a hitch. Fizzarolli came up with the crudest, most hilarious jokes that even caused Mammon to wheeze with tears in his eyes. Fizzarolli then proceeded to impress the crowd with a series of backward flips around raging snakes and bats. He bent his body completely backward and blew kisses to his fans. A fangirl in a jester costume squealed in delight and tried to race toward him. An aged Bailey yanked her by the tail and tossed her back into the stand.

 

“Idiots,” he scoffed.

 

Barbie leapt from hoop to hoop, doing graceful flips and using her tail to help with momentum. She waved upside down to her cheering fans and did some bows after landing on stage with a triple flip.

 

“Who brims with fire and desire?” she called out.

 

“Barbie Wire!” chorused the crowd.

 

Fizzarolli and Barbie shared passionate looks of triumph as they stood together under the blaring spotlights. Mammon and Donner were grinning at each other in the VIP and exchanging bottles of alcohol.

 

“You’re gonna be filthy rich, my friend,” Mammon praised Donner. “Thanks to your incredibly talented spawn.” Donner’s deepest wish was almost in his grasp.

 

“I look forward to my reward, and doing more business with you, my lord.”

 

Meanwhile, Blitzo was calming the fire-breathing three-headed white horse. He ducked from a blast of flame, before giving a cue to them. After flipping onto their back, he did a victory ride around the arena. After the horse reared on hind legs and came to a successful stop, Blitzo popped pieces of hay and flesh into their three mouths.

 

“Blitz! Blitz! Blitz!” chanted the audience as Blitzo waved. Mammon seemed impressed with him as well. Blitzo smiled and joined his fellow imps. A few members of the crowd tossed coins and money at the other Helluva Hooligans. All three of the imps smiled…here was where they belonged. Even Donner was quite pleased at their professional status. Fireworks boomed into the night sky.

 

“Here it is,” Donner announced. “The last and most thrilling act of tonight! Prepare to have your hearts and minds blown to smithereens!”

 

Just then, something moving in the distance caught Blitzo’s eye. Almost blending in with the shadows was a tall skeletal black horse with a voluminous moving mane, tail, and glowing teal eyes. It was Spindle the horse, a being who could travel through the fabrics of space. Its aura glowed red and static-like black blocks danced in and out around it. The horse gave off a divine, enigmatic presence. Blitzo thought he heard a faint whisper of a woman’s voice.

 

Blitzo thought back to the last time he saw that being. He had calmed and befriended Spindle many years ago when he was little at another show. It had vanished soon after.

 

That’s when it came to him. He had not seen Spindle since…

 

“Fuck…”

 

Flashes of his mother’s blank stare lurched into his mind, tightening his gut, and filling his core with a sense of dread.

 

Just before he could make sense of the omen, the horse had vanished into the shadows once more.

 

“Blitzo! Bro!” Barbie barked into his ear. “Let’s go! Our final act!”

 

Blitzo followed his sister and friend up a ladder high above the crowd. There they were faced with their hardest and most dangerous challenge yet.

 

“Good luck, assholes! Hahahaha!” Donner called in a drunken craze. An empty bottle of Greed Mead sat next to him, drowning out any last sense of humanity he had for his children.

 

Blitzo gulped at the obstacles ahead of him. A precarious tightrope hung in the air, with several large hoops lit on fire, just enough for an imp to squeeze through. Instead of a safety net down below, there lay a pit of sleeping deadly fire snakes. A large portion of the floor had mechanically slid to the side to reveal the hidden pit underneath.

 

“When the fuck did they install that?” Barbie asked, aghast.

 

“We’ll be the first ones in all of Hell to do this stunt,” Fizzarolli breathed in realization. He pointed with a shaking finger ahead. “Once we complete this…we’re set for life!”

 

Up on a platform on the other side was a large bag of coins and three medals for each of them. A contract taped to the bag declared the imps would, indeed be blessed and rich for life, signed Mammon.

 

Blitzo’s eyes grew wide, his face pale. He could barely comprehend the sudden cruelty designed on the spot by Donner and his menacing jester boss. There was a very good chance that they would fail…

 

…and not survive.

 

When Blitzo thought things couldn’t get worse…

 

“Blitzo, you’re up first!” Donner called.

 

Blindfolds were placed on their three heads and small balancing sticks were placed in their hands.

 

“Good luck,” Fizzarolli assured. “We’ll be right behind you.”

 

Blitzo gulped and lifted his foot. He took one hesitant step forward. His breath caught in his throat when he felt empty air. Maneuvering his foot, he finally found the thick rope. He slowly lifted the other foot and put it in front of him, using the stick to keep himself upright.

 

“Slowly now,” he told the others.

 

Fizzarolli and Barbie took deep breaths as they inched their way forward behind Blitzo. The minutes dragged on and on. Blitzo tuned out the cheers and gasps of the crowd, focusing on his objective.

 

Step, balance to the right, step, balance to the left, pause, step, step again…

 

Blitzo felt the heat of the first hoop, centering himself and trying not to get too close.

 

“Steady now.”

 

Blitzo and the others walked along the rope through the first large hoop. They were met with the crowds “oohs,” and “ahhs.”

 

They inched forward carefully before reaching the second and last hoop.

 

“Halfway there!” Blitzo declared. The announcement pressed the trio forward.

 

Blitzo soon felt the fiery heat of the second hoop.

 

“Almost…almost…”

 

The sound of a crying baby down below in the stands caused Blitzo to inadvertently lean toward the right in distraction. His hand grazed the hot metal of the hoop and he cried out.

 

“Arrrgh!”

 

Stumbling, he ripped off his blindfold, telling the others to do the same. Three black blindfolds fell into the pit. Several sinister hisses sounded as the fire snakes woke up. Blitzo then made the terrible mistake of looking down.

 

“Shit! Shit! Shiiiiiit!”

 

Blitzo fumbled off-balance and screamed in terror, leaning backward and bumping into Barbie.

 

“Aaaaahhh!” she yelped, ramming backward into Fizzarolli.

 

The three imps struggled to maintain their balance, waving their arms, frantically grabbing at air.

 

“What the fuck, Blitzo?!” Fizzarolli cried as Blitzo found himself hanging upside down from the rope, his boot catching under Fizzarolli’s tail and taking him down as well. Barbie maneuvered out from between the two males, wrapping her tail around the rope to keep her balance.

 

Fizzarolli was pulled down and ended up clinging onto Blitzo’s waist. Blitzo held onto the rope above for dear life.

 

“Barbie!” Blitzo yelled. His sister held his hands tightly, trying to pull him and Fizzarolli up. Barbie leaned forward to try and get a better grip.

 

“Hold on!” she called.

 

To their horror, the rope was slowly falling apart under the weight. The snakes snapped at Fizzarolli’s dangling feet.

 

“Help!” he cried.

 

The rope got thinner and thinner on the side where they had started at.

 

“Run, Barbie!” Blitzo pleaded. “It’s gonna break!”

 

With a heavy sigh, Barbie stood on her feet and sprang forward, flipping over the flaming hoop. She managed to barely grab the platform on the other side.

 

In a panic, Blitzo accidentally kicked Fizzarolli in the face, sending him down into the pit.

 

“Fuuuuccck!” Fizzarolli wailed in terror as he plummeted into the flames.

 

“Fizz!” Blitzo cried.

 

Just as Blitzo leapt on all fours, the rope fell away with a snap.

 

“NOOOO!” Barbie screeched with wide eyes.

 

Blitzo plummeted to the ground in a heap.

 

The flames rapidly climbed and progressed, causing the flaming hoops to fall as well. The crowd soon screamed and scrambled to escape the spreading hellfire. The fire consumed the rest of the tent, leaving only charred remains of fabric, stands, the money bag…and several bodies. The decorated Helluva Hooligans trailer tipped over and exploded.

 

Further outside, a wheezing Bailey grabbed a drunken Donner and shoved him off a ledge out of harm’s way.

 

“Don’t bite the dick that quenches ya,” Bailey mumbled with a glare at Donner.

 

Bailey then collapsed to the ground and did not move again. The glow of the flames cast a hellish orange against the night sky.

 

 

Blitzo coughed and gagged at the suffocating smoke around him. Miraculously, he had not fallen into the fire pit, but instead landed a few feet away. Through the haze, he could make out the struggling, seizure-like figure of Fizzarolli squirming in the pit.

 

The screams coming from his best friend would haunt him for life. Fizzarolli’s eyes rolled back as the snakes bit into his arms and legs. The flames only increased the pain; blood and bone became visible.

 

Fizzarolli spotted a fallen ax nearby. His horns suddenly felt heavy on his head.

 

“Wimp imp!” he heard imaginary voices mocking him. “Cum-sucking low-life!”

 

Some of those voices sounded like his lost parents.

 

Weakly, he took the ax in his right hand and with a wince…began to slice off his own horns.

 

He screamed through the pain and smoke, as muscles and bones cracked. One horn finally snapped off, before the other one fell off a few minutes later. Fizzarolli stared at his discarded, asymmetrical bloodstained horns next to him with a mixture of horror and relief.

 

He shouted deliriously, “I’m an imp no more! Bahahaahaahhh!”

 

Blitzo was nowhere to be seen. Fizzarolli had seen Blitzo fly above the fire pit and knew that he had abandoned him right then and there.

 

If only Blitzo hadn’t fucked this performance up!

 

Perhaps Blitzo had been jealous of his rapid fame and caused the accident on purpose. Yes, that had to be it! With his thoughts jumbled up, he couldn’t think clearly through the agony.

 

In his head, he could almost see Blitzo with a smug expression on his face as all the demons cackled over his battered imp appearance.

 

Just as Fizzarolli was about to embrace his death in the flames, a looming figure stood above the pit in shadow. He waved his hands and the flaming snakes shriveled up into embers. Fizzarolli smiled deliriously into the face of his savior. Just before Fizzarolli fell unconscious, Mammon picked him up and proceeded to brutally rip off the remains of his burnt arms and legs. Now there was nothing but bloody burnt stumps where his horns, arms and legs used to be. The sizzling and odor of burnt flesh reeked of decay and death.

 

“Pathetic,” Mammon spat with disgust as he carried Fizzarolli’s limp form away.

 

 

The animals burst out of their cages, trampling demons and imps in their path in their attempt to flee the flames. More screams and the sounds of thuds and crunching. Blitzo started to sob out loud when he saw the fallen body of his three-headed white horse friend beside a tipped over cage. He crawled toward her side in agony, feeling her limp charred body in the smoke.

 

Tears spilled from his eyes like waterfalls.

 

“I’m sorry…”

 

He leaned his head onto the horse’s coat.

 

After saying a sad goodbye, Blitzo crawled back to the pit, smoke consuming the air. He wailed in pain at every movement, sure that some of his bones were broken. He looked on in horror at the remains of Fizzarolli’s horns and limbs in the pit. Blitzo suspected that Fizzarolli inwardly hated the kind of demon he was…but thought nothing of it until he had heard Fizzarolli’s haunting cry, “I’m an imp no more!”

 

To throw away his identity while so close to death…it was worse than suicide.

 

In his blurred vision, Barbie was screaming his name, frantically looking around and coughing near the pit. The remains of the tent started to crumble down above him. The remaining Helluva Hooligans grabbed Barbie and carried her to a nearby ambulance just as she spotted Blitzo.

 

Blitzo’s lungs constricted, and his body crumpled to the ground. Blitzo heard the faint cries of his sister and the wail of an ambulance before everything faded to black.

 

0 0 0

“Blitzo?”

 

Blitzo heard a voice that almost sounded like his mother. He had several dreams of riding Spindle across a flaming wasteland, the sky filled with psychedelic colors. He was hugging and kissing a smiling Fizzarolli. Both of them were naked. They were about to caress each other’s dicks, when Fizzarolli vanished. Then his father’s face loomed over him, mouth opening wide and swallowing him in darkness. Blitzo then found himself sinking into a pile of balloons as Barbie Wire and Fizzarolli kissed passionately above him. Distorted music played as Imp City was destroyed in a pile of confetti before Blitzo slowly opened his eyes.

 

A stark whiteness made his eyes hurt and he found himself in a hospital bed. An imp nurse stared at him with concern. His body was nude, and the burnt areas were wrapped in white gauze.

 

“Thank Satan you’re alive,” the nurse remarked.

 

“If this is double hell, I think I want death,” Blitzo deadpanned as pain and awareness rushed back to him.

 

“Take it easy,” the nurse said when Blitzo tried to sit up.

 

“How long have I been out?”

 

“Four days.”

 

“The fuck?”

 

Blitzo looked around. “Where’s…where’s Barbie?”

 

“At another hospital,” explained the nurse. “Thankfully she only had a few minor burns on her tail and scratches on her arms.”

 

Blitzo blinked and sighed softly in relief. “What about Fizzarolli?”

 

The nurse lowered her head. “I’m…sorry. We don’t know where he is.”

 

“He’s…gone?”

 

More silence.

 

Blitzo instantly felt a twinge of guilt. If anyone had to die, it should’ve been him. His distraction had caused the disaster in the first place.

 

“I have to go back and tell the others…”

 

“Don’t bother,” said the nurse. “I’m afraid your circus has been…disbanded.”

 

“What?”

 

“It’s sad, but true. At the other hospital, my colleague told me that Mammon had visited Barbie. He told her, ‘Come visit me anytime in my mansion, baby,’ and kissed her on her hand.”

 

“Gross,” Blitzo scowled.

 

“And I hate to say this but…your sister is scheduled by Mammon to perform on her own next week once she’s recovered.”

 

Blitzo was speechless.

 

“Apparently, Barbie’s popularity got out and Mammon wanted to make sure her shows would continue.”

 

“Why hasn’t he visited me?” Blitzo asked.

 

“Well because of…well…”

 

The accident. Of course.

 

Not to mention Donner badmouthing him to Mammon probably had played a part in that.

 

Fear spread through him. As soon as he was better, he’d be left out on the streets. No mother, no father, no sister, no…

 

Fizzarolli no longer felt like a close brother friend anymore. Already, his time in the circus was fading away like a fleeting memory. He missed Fizzarolli’s charming antics and hugs.

 

They could’ve had a lot of fun alone together…

 

“I have nowhere else to go,” Blitzo pleaded. “Please…is there anywhere else I could work?”

 

“Not that I know of,” said the nurse. Then she pondered in thought.

 

“Although, Mammon has just finished his Loo-Loo Land theme park in central Greed. I’m sure you could find a job there, given your showbiz experience.”

 

Blitzo sighed. It was worth a try.

 

“Get some rest,” said the nurse. “Sorry again for your loss.”

 

She wandered away to tend to other patients, leaving Blitzo alone with his thoughts.

 

 

 

0 0 0

 

Part Five: Helluva Destinies

 

Fizzarolli slowly woke up to the sound of mechanical whirling. He was strapped to a metal table in what appeared to be a dark warehouse factory. Imps and several wolves wearing metal masks were attaching…things to him.

 

Fizzarolli peered to his right and left, an oxygen mask over his face. He was nude and the stumps on his head were still visible.

 

“What…what’s going on?”

 

In metal claws, held in place were four newly built prosthetic arms and legs. The crew were in the process of attaching them to Fizzarolli’s body.

 

“Aaaahh! Where am I?”

 

“No need to panic, imp,” said a voice.

 

Fizzarolli looked up and saw the leering face of Mammon above him.

 

“L-Lord Mammon? It’s you?”

 

“Of course it is,” he said, dismissively. “To my frustration, I had to save the imp that has helped profit my circus all these years.”

 

“Y-your circus?”

 

“Obviously. I control all the entertainment venues in Greed. Including the Helluva Hooligans. Donner helped with marketing and managing, while I supervised the revenue. Unfortunately…”

 

Mammon’s tone grew deeper and more demonic. “After that disaster you barely managed to survive, I’m left with no big circus…and thousands of souls in debt.”

 

Fizzarolli gulped.

 

“If you had caused the accident and weren’t my favorite star…” his claws gleamed in the dim light… “Let’s just say, you’re doubly lucky to still be breathing.”

 

“R-right, sir.”

 

“To answer your question, you are in the Lust Ring, at Ozzie’s factory.”

 

“W-who’s Ozzie?”

 

“You’re witnessing him in the flesh, baby,” a seductive voice mused.

 

A towering second figure peered lustfully over the imp. He had a dark furry face and long teal colored hair. Miniature faces of a bull and a ram appeared on either side of his larger face. He wore a white and purple striped suit and had thick furry legs with high black boots over his feet. He had the white, red, and black tail feathers of a cock (he often nicknamed himself “Cock” for good measure.) More feathers appeared from his black top hat and his eyes and mouth glowed yellow.

 

“Meet Asmodeus,” Mammon mentioned. “Ruler of the Lust Ring and founder of Ozzie’s Club.”

 

Asmodeus’ eyes scanned every inch of Fizzarolli’s broken body. Instead of feeling embarrassed or ashamed however, Fizzarolli felt a strange spark of something else entirely.

 

It was very bizarre. Fizzarolli felt at ease in Asmodeus’ presence. The demon’s suave demeanor said, “come hither and show me what you’ve got.”

 

“So, you’re the famous Fizzarolli that everyone’s been talking about in the Lust Ring?” Asmodeus asked, silkily.

 

“Yes, that’s me,” Fizzarolli squeaked.

 

“As soon as I heard the rumors of the honorary performance to Mammon, I had to see for myself,” Asmodeus said.

 

He then looked in concern at Fizzarolli’s missing limbs. “I’m sorry for what happened.”

 

Fizzarolli stayed silent.

 

“Why’d you really come down to Greed?” Mammon asked Asmodeus. “Surely you would’ve come earlier to watch the show…or at least before that ending.”

 

“I’m just glad you were able to save his life,” Asmodeus said. “I heard he’s one of your hardest working performers.”

 

Mammon shrugged with a scowl. “Indeed, he was my main star in my showbiz. But now that my main circus is torched, I don’t have much use for him as of now. Especially if he cannot perform properly in Loo-Loo Land.”

 

Fizzarolli fumed. For so many years, he had looked up to Mammon as a symbol of hope and prosperity in his meek life. Now he couldn’t believe what his ears were hearing.

 

“He’s still just a meek imp.”

 

“What the fuck did you just say, jackass?!”

 

Fizzarolli had yelled before he could stop himself. Tears of betrayal spilled from his eyes. After a few deep breaths, he turned to Asmodeus. His sadness was soon replaced with a tired smirk. “You like lust, right? Perhaps if I can get these prosthetic arms fitted right, I can put them in deep, anywhere.” He winked. “Very useful for wrapping tightly. You’d like that, huh Ozzie?”

 

Mammon stared in shock and anger at the sudden remarks from his inferior. Very few demons, let alone imps, would dare look at Mammon and Asmodeus in the eyes. Asmodeus, however, just chuckled. Fizzarolli was still a cheeky, courageous showman, even under pain.

 

“Ohhohoho! This imp has some humor and passion in him! I’m loving this guy already!”

 

“Loving him?” Mammon scoffed. He shot out his hand and grabbed Fizzarolli by the throat. The imp gagged and breathed heavily, not being able to move.

 

“Need I remind you, scum, that you naively signed that contract all those years ago? You were so desperate to be part of the lead and work for me that you didn’t consider any consequences! I own you, imp!”

 

“D-did you mention…that to your mom…your Highness?” Fizzarolli joked. Asmodeus chuckled, clearly impressed with the imp’s boldness.

 

Mammon squeezed tighter. “Shut your mouth! Any backtalk will not be tolerated. I otta have your tongue cut out …”

 

Asmodeus gripped Mammon’s arm, his expression stern. “Let the imp go.”

 

Heeding the warning in Ozzie’s voice, Mammon relented. Fizzarolli gasped and gagged on the table.

 

“Anyway, there is a reason why I told you to bring little Rolli from Greed to Lust,” Asmodeus explained. “I’m a little short on staff at Ozzie’s recently and I’m looking for a new…exceptional host.”

 

Fizzarolli’s eyes lit up. “You…want me to perform for you?”

 

“After you’ve been properly modified, trained, and dolled up, of course,” Asmodeus explained. “As much as I don’t mind your…delicious looking imp form…”

 

He sensed the nervous jittery air around Fizzarolli and inhaled the intoxicating scent. Power surged through him whenever suitable demons fell under his lust influence. But Fizzarolli’s energy was different. In the imps’ eyes was a desperation…a desire to be adored, praised, and loved in every sense imaginable.

 

Fizzarolli felt a strange sense of elation. Even though he could no longer identify with his former life, he felt warmth in his heart when Asmodeus had blatantly accepted him. Demons, imps, succubi, high and low class…sex and lust did not discriminate.

 

Asmodeus finished, “…you will have to hide your imp status. You can’t afford to make us look bad otherwise.”

 

“N-no problem, my lords…” Fizzarolli slurred.

 

Mammon looked taken aback. “The fuck, Ozzie? You can’t just decide to take away my property and use him as your personal sex toy. He still has some punishments to undergo for his failure.”

 

Fizzarolli trembled in fear.

 

Asmodeus crossed his arms. “Oh really, Ma-money? Have you forgotten that I own not just all the venues in Lust…but some in Greed as well? While I can enjoy my businesses in many Rings…let’s just say your establishments in Lust are falling by the wayside. Soon enough, your other ones will follow.”

 

Mammon growled, downcast. Asmodeus was right. The accident had been a tremendous loss and with only Loo-Loo Land to make a minimal profit, Mammon knew he wasn’t going to last long in the corporate world.

 

Asmodeus looked at Mammon’s conflicted face with amusement.

 

“Okay, fine. What do you plan on doing with him?” Mammon asked.

 

“He’ll be my robotic performer at Ozzie’s,” Asmodeus explained. “Once he’s healed up and gets used to his new cybernetic parts, I’ll check to see…”

 

He leaned in toward Fizzarolli, “…what exactly his little body can do onstage.”

 

Fizzarolli got excited goosebumps. He gazed into the face of his new savior, Asmodeus.

 

“So, this is what it’s like to be reborn anew,” he thought. “Starting a new life, no longer a pathetic imp. Thanks to Asmodeus, I’ll become a sensual sensation!”

 

“Wait just a fucking minute!” Mammon barked. “I’m gonna take this imp back with me if you don’t tell me what’s in it for me!”

 

Asmodeus calmly answered. “Well, you’ll still get the majority of the profits from Fizzarolli, even though he won’t be in Greed.”

 

“I’d better! I’m the lord of Greed after all. And one other thing…”

 

With a wave of his hand, he conjured blueprints of jester-shaped robots and handed them to Asmodeus.

 

“Since I just have Loo-Loo Land left, I’ll need an array of performing sex robots in Fizzarolli’s likeness. You will help build them and they will help provide me with the necessary profit for my theme park. Make them exactly as I’ve written on here.”

 

“So, I imagine the prosthetic arms and legs for Fizzarolli was your idea as well?”

 

“Yes. It’s all part of the project. A project I expect to have completed.”  

 

Mammon pulled out a briefcase and handed Asmodeus a bag of coins and bills.

 

Asmodeus thought for a moment, then grinned, taking the money.

 

“Looks like you got yourself a deal, brother!”

 

“I’m not your fucking brother,” Mammon scoffed as they harmlessly shook hands. “I’d say ‘go fuck yourself,’ but you’d probably enjoy it!”

 

Asmodeus chuckled. “Smooth talk, shithead. Money man’s gonna be a lonely sad statue of gold someday. Good luck with your ‘businesses.’”

 

Asmodeus then added to Mammon, “Don’t forget, you still owe me a lot of money due to your damaged circus. Although what you do in Greed is not my problem, having unsatisfied customers simply will not do in my Ring.”

 

“Fine, whatever,” Mammon grumbled.

 

Mammon glared one last time at Fizzarolli. “Do not fail me again.”

 

He snapped his fingers and vanished through a portal.

 

“It’ll take a few months to get used to your new body and routine,” Asmodeus mentioned, turning to Fizzarolli. “But I have a feeling we are going to do great things together.”

 

Fizzarolli smiled a serene smile as Asmodeus’ presence caused him to fall into a long slumber. It was like exiting a nightmare and being reborn into a new being. Asmodeus watched with pride as the robotic limbs were attached to the imp’s body; sparks flying, machines whirring.

 

Several weeks later, as Fizzarolli slowly got used to his cybernetic limbs and enjoyed his new freedom and flexibility…he figured that his new master was completely right. Soon, he had a brand-new wardrobe and a new colorful jester outfit. His face had white makeup on it and a black heart covered his old circus mark. Soon the only remaining visible trait of his former imp life was his long pointed red and black tail. Exhilaration, lust, and love flooded through Fizzarolli as he and Asmodeus grew closer.

 

Soon, it was all too easy to forget about Blitzo and Barbie.

 

Fizzarolli was not the underdog anymore. It was time to become an elite, erotic and entertaining entrepreneur.

 

“I am the one and only Fizzarolli! Welcome, welcome to Ozzie’s!”

 

0 0 0

 

1998

Barbie Wire was at the peak of her fame and career. Without Fizzarolli and Blitzo around, she became the sole star of the shows.

 

“We love you, Barbie!” sang the crowd as they tossed her money and flowers. “Barbie Barbed Wire!” was read on banners everywhere, and of course, decorative barbed wire lined the tents, cars, and buildings. Barbie appeared on poster after poster. Even Mammon grew impressed with her performance and gave her a kiss on her hand.

 

Before long, however, she found herself fumbling and stumbling as the weeks went by. Although she basked in the spotlight and adored the attention of her fans, the experience was never the same without Fizzarolli or her twin brother around. Donner would still be there, looking at his daughter with a mixture of pride, sternness, and fatigue.

 

“See how much better you do without Blitzo?” Donner asked.

 

“What did you ever have against him?” Barbie wondered aloud. “Did he remind you of your imperfect asshole self, way back when?”

 

Donner’s growl was enough of an answer for her.

 

Barbie turned from her father. “My life is burning down around me. Fuck you, Dad.”

 

Donner swore loudly at Barbie, but her back was already turned.

 

The stress soon became too much.

 

After she failed disastrously at her signature barbed wire trapeze event, the crowd booed and complained. Some of them laughed at her as she weakly climbed out of the safety net and ran from the arena in tears.

 

Mammon wasn’t very happy.

 

“Pathetic common imps,” he muttered. “Like stars in the sky, they all eventually burn out.”

 

Barbie, overwhelmed with pressure and drowning in a repressed grief over the loss of her family, spiraled downward into alcohol and drugs. The substances were her way to numb the pain and ease the anxiety. She could be a wild, rambunctious star in her own mind if nothing else. Smoke from her cigarette filled her bedroom. Empty beer bottles littered the floor and circus trinkets lay here and there.

 

The black mark on her forehead was a jarring reminder of her past…of her being under the control of her father and the circus. She stared into her bathroom mirror in disgust.

 

“Fuck that shit,” she decided.

 

With trembling hands, she took out a spare knife from a bathroom drawer, one she used to wield for target practice.

 

Wincing in pain, tears spilling from her eyes, she sat in a bathtub and carved a large x into her forehead, right over the black mark. Black blood spilled down her face, some landing into her mouth. More xs were carved into her wrists and arms, along with hearts. The cuts would eventually become white scars…but to Barbie, she had never looked better. She admired her decorated arms and head, black blood dripping out.

 

She climbed out of the bathtub, having trouble keeping her balance. After black spots danced across her vision, she slurred and collapsed in her bedroom. Pools of black stained the floor.

 

Before long, she found herself in a white room in a bed with other patients in rows on either side. The sign above read “Welcome to the Celebrity Rehabilitation Center!” Medications sat in jars beside her bed. Barbie missed her brother dearly. But she was fairly certain that she would never see him again.

 

Barbie heard a seductive “hmmm” and looked up.

 

Posing next to her on the bed was a pink succubus with white hair, pink horns, and a signature grin. She had taken the opportunity to dress as a nurse, wearing a white hat with a red upside down cross on it and a white coat over a tank top.

 

“I saw you at the performances, Barbie,” she said silkily, flipping back her long pinkish blonde hair. “My how the mighty do fall.”

 

Her breath reeked of beelzejuice.

 

“Who are you?” Barbie asked.

 

“What a sad loser wash-up you are,” Verosika mused, her breasts jiggling underneath her black tank top. “Perhaps I could fully introduce myself and…get to know you better…”

 

No one else was around. Barbie, looking confused in the presence of the hot new succubus, shrugged.

 

“Fuck it. I’m in.”

 

 

1999

A crowd of demons booed and jeered as Blitzo told half-hearted lame jokes on stage. Robo Fizz laughed.

 

“Wow Blitz-o! Even my unholy cow can tell better jokes than you!”

 

 Robo Fizz did some flips and the crowd cheered.

 

Robo Fizz later grinned as he posed under a “Fizzarolli and Friends” sign. He wiggled his fingers and leaned in toward a crowd of cheering children and implings. Little Octavia sobbed in fear in the front row. In the background, Blitzo was dressed in a white clown suit with green flowers and red buttons on it. He had red bells on his horns and had white and blue clown makeup over his face. He sat grumpily by a red balloon cart, a green and red balloon standing to the side.

 

His job at Loo-Loo Land was far less exciting than he thought. Instead of reliving his moments as a star, he was viewed almost exclusively as a laughingstock. Sure, it helped him make just enough to survive, but with Robo Fizz mocking him every day, Blitzo briefly considered living on the streets instead.

 

After Blitzo had attempted to outshine Robo Fizz in a fire blowing contest one day, he had the unfortunate experience of getting the right side of his face too close to the flames as a sudden jet of wind blew through the tent flaps.

 

“Yeoooowwwwarghh!”

 

“Oh! Look at Blitz-o! Clumsy, unfunny, and pathetic!”

 

Robo Fizz and the imp children had laughed after a crying, swearing Blitzo was taken away on a stretcher.

 

Blitzo stayed in the hospital, a blackened bad burn on his face. It left a permanent white scar on his face that the nurse stated, “would never heal.” A white gauze was on the side of his face for many days. It only further added to his daily ridicule.

 

“Burn Bum Blitzo,” was his common nickname.

 

Blitzo soon had enough. The next day, without another word, he pushed the tent flaps back, walked out of Loo-Loo Land and never looked back.

 

And from that day forth, to leave his circus past behind, he crossed out the “o” in his name, changing it to “Blitz.” He constantly reminded those around him: “The “o” is silent, dumbasses!”

 

 

 

0 0 0

2020s

 

“Mu ha ha ha hoho-oh! Is that Blitzo my sensors spot up there?” Robo Fizz emphasized the silent “O” in his name at Loo-Loo Land. “I bet the kiddies are still running away from you, huh?”

 

He spun his head around in loops and cackled.

 

“The ‘O’ is silent now!” Blitzo stopped and yelled.

 

Robo Fizz mocked him some more and did wild dance-like poses. “A-awwww, just like your audience always was when you to-told your lazy jokes here!” He laughed.

 

Blitzo tossed his sunglasses aside. “I make more money killin’ people than you do being a cheap-ass robo ripoff of an overrated sell-out jester!”

 

Robo Fizz glitched. “Oh ho ho! Someone’s salty! Real or not though, people love me! Does anybody love you…”

 

His face turned dark, and his eyes glowed menacingly, grin stretched wide,

 

“Blitzo?!”

0 0 0

“Is that Blitz-o?” Fizzarolli asked in Ozzie’s, emphasizing the “o.” “So you’re showing your face? Hey everybody! This guy’s a total disgrace!”

 

A red spotlight shone on Fizzarolli and then onto Blitzo, who flinched.

 

“Some nerve you’ve got to comment on a relationship!

 

Last I checked, your love life is a pile of shit!”

 

Fizzarolli laughed and leaned in toward Blitzo’s face.

 

“Oh Blitz-o?” Verosika cooed.

 

Then she began her mocking melody:

 

“I used to date him (date him, date him!)”

 

“I’d stroke and I’d fellate him (fellate him, fellate him!)”

 

“Yeah, but when it was my turn (my turn, my turn!)”

 

He did no reciprocatin’ (what a dick-bag!)”

 

Verosika shoved Blitzo hard to the ground and backed him up against the wall.

 

“A selfish imp in the sheets!

 

And just as bad in the streets!

 

A reckless, heart-breaking freak!” she spat, getting in close to his face.

 

0 0 0

There were dozens of vivid memories Blitzo could not ignore.

 

So many lovers and loved ones had been lost to time.

 

It was all his fault. Why’d he have to be such a selfish prick?

 

Blitzo sadly scrolled though the pictures of his childhood and youth on his cell phone.

 

Tears spilled out of Blitzo’s eyes, and he sobbed deeply into his pillow on the couch.

 

“Mom…Barbie…Fizz…please come back…”