“Good morning, my
fucklings!”
Verosika Mayday, the
pink succubus, strolled into the room, wearing her high heels, heart-shaped
sunglasses, short black and white dress and her faux pink scarf. She blew a bubble
of pink gum before spitting it out in a nearby trash can. The fellow employees
sat at a cracked black round table with bloodstained high-backed chairs with
eyes on the tops. The Wrath Ring imp Striker merely smirked and nodded as he
fiddled with the wheat stalk in his mouth. He wore his usual gray and brown
cowboy gear with a hat and boots. Fizzarolli, the robotic jester imp, looked
around eagerly at the small office room decorated with circus posters and porn
magazine covers. Verosika was shown in a seductive pose with her gang on one
poster, while another poster showed a sinister Fizzarolli with handcuffs
advertising a “Loo Loo Land’s Fizzy Buddy, Brand New Vibrating Toy, Use At Your
Own Risk!” A few pictures here and there displayed Striker riding his black
hell-horse BulletProof through the desert with a mane and tail of fire.
Finally, Vortex, the dark grey hellhound bodyguard, stared at his phone,
wearing all black clothing.
They were located
somewhere in the Lust Ring under a pink sky in an abandoned building that
looked like a warehouse from the outside. Spray-painted in red were the words
“D.I.C.K. Headquarters,” on the door to the office.
“Remind me why you
choose “dick” to be our name?” Striker muttered to Verosika.
“It’s spelled D.I.C.K.
It stands for Demonic Immediate Crazed Killers,” Verosika replied. “Figured it
described all of us well, because we do what I.M.P. does, only better.”
“You and your sexual
innuendos,” Striker began, and then winked. “I like it.” Fizzarolli giggled.
Verosika cleared her
throat. “Do any of you fuckers know why we’re here?”
“Because I took this job
after you and I got drunk and did a one night stand?” Striker asked with a
smirk.
“No!” Verosika bellowed
in anger, though she knew it was true. She then blushed and stepped back. “I
drank too much beelzejuice after returning back from Earth, alright? And you
happened to be there staring at me with lust in your eyes with a bottle of
Inferno 66 in hand. Let me tell you, sucking prisoner dick with your gang is
worse than eating shit out of a toilet. Besides, I needed some time to recover
after having to walk around after Blitzo took my parking spot. When we were
together, he left me to pay for the hotel room, rang three rings around Wrath
and maxed my credit card...”
“…on shitty horse-riding
lessons, yeah yeah, I got it,” Striker said with a wave of his hand. “You told
us the story like five times.”
“Is it because that imp
was so jealous of my accomplishments at the circus that he set all of Loo-Loo
Land on fire and allowed my robotic counterpart Robo Fizz to get eaten by a
dragon?” asked Fizzarolli.
“How did you hear about
that?” Vortex asked without looking up.
Fizzarolli turned
nervous. “My boss Mammon heard about the incident and was furious. He said that
unless I helped boost sales, fix the theme park and capture him…”
“Yeah, I know how you
feel,” Verosika sighed. “My gang and I got a bunch of warnings and threats from
daddy Ozzie.”
“You mean Asmodeus?”
asked Vortex.
“Yeah. He wasn’t very
happy that I nearly exposed the humans to the existence of demons. We go
topside in disguise to feed on their lust every spring. If Blitzo hadn’t kept
that fact secret…well let’s just say Valentino pales in comparison to what
Ozzie can do to you.”
Everyone shivered at the
prospect of the Ring Overlords’ plans.
“To answer your
question, Verosika, it is because I failed to kill that pompous owl prince
Stolas?” Striker asked. “I was this close to finishing off that wimp imp and
persuading Blitzo to join me. He’s a formidable fighter, and he’s half
succubus.”
Verosika crossed her
arms. “There’s nothing special about him. He just pushes people away when they
get too close and only cares about his job, murder and his stupid horses!”
“Hmm…he’d be a fun
little toy to play with,” Striker mused as Fizzarolli smirked. “We can all
agree on that, right?”
Everyone but Vortex
murmured in agreement.
“Yes,” Verosika called,
shoulders square. “That is the reason why we’re all here. Because of them!”
Verosika pointed to the
whiteboard which had pictures of Blitzo, Moxxie, Millie, Loona and Stolas
pinned on it. Several knives were stuck inside the pictures and scribbles in
red on the white board read “Fuck I.M.P.!” “Striker Is Better Than You!”
“Fizzarolli Was Here!” and “Verosika, Call Me For a Good Time!”
“And I’m gonna led this
shit!” she added.
“What makes you the
leader?” Striker inquired with a raised eyebrow.
“I’m not the leader per
se. Stella organized this group and Striker recruited us,” Verosika explained.
“Though I’m technically higher than imps, sinners and hellhounds, so I say the
position is a good fit.”
Striker scowled. “We get
treated like scum in Wrath enough as it is. I ain’t gonna play nice if you
don’t show me some respect.”
“Prove to me you’re
better than that scumbag Blitzo.”
“I already did…in bed at
the club, remember?”
Fizzarolli laughed much
to Verosika’s disgust.
“While I will admit it
felt amazing, that’ll be the last time I ever sleep with an imp. And I
certainly don’t need some rogue cowboy to get in the way of my revenge,”
“Need I remind you,
missy,” said Striker, “That I’m the one who recruited you and the jester in the
first place? After you were getting over your hangover, you told me to fuck off
or else your friends would have their fun with me.”
“Yeah, and?”
“I then noticed your
heart tattoo on your shoulder with “Blitzo” crossed out. Then I asked, ‘Having
imp problems, too? Wishing to see a certain imp?’”
“And I said ‘no, none of
your damn business, imp.’”
Striker continued, “But
then I told you, ‘I’m on a covert mission to take down a worthless royal…and to
meet up with I.M.P.s leader. Perhaps I could offer you my services to you,
monetary and otherwise, if you could tell me more about him.’”
“Yes and I did,” she
said. “I remembered Robo Fizz back when I worked in the circus with Blitzo and
figured he’d be a good person to talk to.”
“Hmpth,” Fizzarolli
interrupted. “His business may be impressive, but his jokes were utterly pathetic!
I got to be the star of the shows while he got to be alone and unloved! Ha!”
Verosika briefly stared
at him. “You sure you didn’t get jealous because Blitzo left you behind and
made more money killing people?”
Fizzarolli turned
slightly red. “What?! No! How stupid are you?”
“Perhaps smarter than
you think,” Verosika remarked, her boobs bouncing slightly.
“Get a room,
love-fuckers!” Fizzarolli mocked to Striker and Verosika. “At least I was the
first villain to appear in the show! First is the best! And my Ring is higher
than yours!”
“Oh partner, even a sex
bot like you…”
“I’m not a bot!”
“…could never handle
what’s under these jeans.”
Striker smirked and
continued the story. “Then I told slutty clown about Blitzo and he seemed to
understand who he was,” said Striker. “I said, ‘A Goetia is giving me cash to
kill a royal and that imp leader from I.M.P. What do you say we bask in riches,
glory and chaos?’”
“I remember saying, ‘Is
this a scam? Loo Loo Land must be fixed!’” said Fizzarolli.
Striker recalled what he
said back to Fizzarolli,“’Mammon sent you off on a mission, didn’t he? Just
like Asmodeus gave a warning to Verosika and what Stella did to me. All our
stories and failures are connected. Connected because of what those imps did.
If you can help me track down I.M.P. and that prince…no more worries for you.’”
“The show must always go
on,” mused Fizzarolli. “It wasn’t like I had many other options. As long as my
boss is satisfied…”
“And mine…” added
Verosika.
“And mine…” added
Striker.
“Indeed, we must all
complete this mission, or else we’re all dead,” Verosika finished.
“Double dead,” Vortex
corrected in a low voice, making the others shiver. “The Seven Deadly Sins do have angelic weapons. You’ll wish you
were frozen in the Ninth Circle.”
“Hell only has seven,”
Fizzarolli added.
“Shut up.”
“Loo Loo Land burned
down, Asmodeus and Mammon got together, we took the Hellevator through the Ring
portals and the rest is history,” said Verosika. “Now I’m stuck with an imp and
a robot.”
“I’m an imp!” Fizzarolli
protested.
“You’re just a robot,”
Verosika replied.
“With partial robotic
features! The model for all Robo Fizzs made by Mammon himself!”
“Still just a sex toy,”
said Verosika.
“A useful one,
nevertheless. One who Stella herself deems valuable, right Striker?”
“She did say to me, ‘I
don’t care who you have to go through.’ Never thought I’d be dealing with a
bunch of hooligans from other Rings,” Striker remarked.
After several minutes of
loud arguments and hisses, Vortex barked loudly. “Shut the fuck up!”
Everyone then sat down
in silence before Vortex stared at his phone again. “I never get paid enough
for this shit,” he muttered.
“Somebody tell me any
useful information about I.M.P. before I lose my shit!” Verosika barked, almost
going into her demonic shadow form.
“The only reason why I’m
here,” said Striker, his voice turning calmer and darker, “Is for my money from
Stella. And revenge of course. Let me tell you where I think Blitzo will be at
next.”
The villains crept
closer.
“I came to the Lust Ring
because I heard from Stella that this is where Stolas likes to “entertain”
himself as it were.” His glowing eyes spiraled in yellow-green hypnotic
circles. “Rumor has it that he goes to Ozzie’s place to cheer himself up. Heard
he suffered quite a breakup from his dear hurt wife. And to have Stella potentially
gain custody over his dear daughter…man that must’ve broken that bird’s heart.”
“Oooh what a charming
little theater!” Fizzarolli remarked. “Stripper dances, pole dances, lots of
lustful siren songs. Winged imps serve you food and other imps are in cages for
display! Hahahaha! It is almost as good as the Big Top in Loo Loo Land!”
“Was, you mean,” Striker
smirked before the jester seethed.
“I still perform there,”
Verosika said. “When I’m not traveling around the Rings on tour. Lust is my
home, after all.”
“Greed is mine!” Fizzarolli
said.
“You already know where
I’m from,” said Striker. “No one fucking cares.”
“Mammon and Asmodeus
heard the news as well,” said Fizzarolli. “I heard Stella had a meeting with
them at midnight last night. That was before we all got our orders to come here
to Lust.”
Vortex looked up in
concern. “It’ll only be a matter of time before Lucifer hears about this, too.
Not just about the trouble I.M.P. has caused, but now that humans know of
Hell…”
“Let’s focus on one
problem at a time,” said Verosika with a deep breath. “We’re in no rush. It’s
not like our leader’s gonna call us and demand…”
Just then, Verosika’s
pink computer beeped and rang.
“Shit,” she muttered.
“It’s her.”
Everyone straightened up
as Verosika pushed a button. Stella’s angry white feathered face appeared on
the Zoom/Doom screen. She scrutinized all their faces with pink glowing eyes,
her face appearing on the screen.
“Striker,” Stella began,
her golden crown shining on her head. “So this is the gang you recruited?”
“Yes ma’am!” he grinned.
“Hmm…” she pondered.
There’s you…there’s some clown imp, there’s a fine-looking succubus…from who
knows where…”
“The clown is Fizzarolli
or Robo Fizz,” said Striker. “The succubus is Verosika.”
“Working for a queen,
Striker?" Verosika asked. “How…”
“Long story, I already
told you,” Striker said. “She’s desperate…”
“You bet that’s right!”
Stella barked. “Then again, I’m…mildly impressed that you managed to get such
a…diverse crew together.” She didn’t
bother to hide her disgust. “Well done.”
Striker beamed with
pride.
“But we’re far from
done! You have no idea how long I’ve waited to properly unleash these feelings
in me.”
Fizzarolli giggled and
Striker elbowed him hard.
“That stupid prick of my
husband thinks he can sleep all he wants with that assassin imp…in our fucking
bed behind my back! If he stays any longer, my family will be a laughing stock.
I’ll be stripped of my royal status and goodness knows what bad influence he’ll
have on Octavia.”
Stella paused, brief
hurt in her voice. She didn’t dare cry, though. “Sometimes I wish he didn’t
have to die. That all three of us could be a good family again like we once
were. He could’ve been a proper responsible father, kept the grimoire safe from
the imp, and none of this would’ve happened.”
Fizzarolli cried tears
at the rant while Vortex rolled his eyes. Striker yawned. Verosika, however,
seemed to listen with a common understanding. She and Blitzo had been together
and then they were broken up and fighting. Although she wanted power and
revenge like Fizzarolli and Striker, she knew what it was like to get the short
end of the stick in a relationship.
“Then again, I was
forced into marrying Stolas millennia ago by my parents. It’s obvious I’d
concern myself with status and wealth and hold my resentment inside.”
‘All
that wealth, all that power,’ thought Striker,
greedily. ‘Watch her talk on and on until
the rug slips from under her feet…and the glory becomes all mine!’
“I love my daughter and Stolas…I really do…but…I
must do what has to be done!” Right then, her regal imposing side was back.
She stared into their
eyes, glaring at Striker in particular. “First of all, if any of you land a
finger on my daughter, I’ll make sure your screams are heard by every Ring in
Hell. She must not be harmed. But…if I have to use Octavia as leverage as a
last resort to bring Stolas to his knees…then so be it. I don’t care what we
have to do…I just want him dead. Do you all understand?”
“Yes ma’am,” said Striker.
The others nodded.
“Good. Now to review the
plan. Stolas and I recently had our breakup. He will be going to the same place
he always goes to when he’s upset: Ozzie’s place. If you spot I.M.P., follow
them, but do not attack yet.”
She continued. “Striker,
your objective is the same: kill Stolas with your angelic weapons. Keep them
safe in your hands at all times, but eliminate anyone who gets in your way.”
Striker already glowered
at Fizzarolli and Verosika who were staring closely at his pistol.
“If you use it on anyone
else important,” Stella said, suspicion already in her eyes. “I’ll fuck you
with your own horns.”
Striker nodded, with the
tip of his hat.
“Verosika, you will
track down Blitzo and distract him inside the club,” said Stella. “Use any
manipulative means necessary to catch him off guard. Fizzarolli, you and
Asmodeus will sneak behind Moxxie and take down the other I.M.P. members.
Verosika’s crew and some Robo Fizzs will also join in.”
She added in a sing-song
voice, “You’ll all receive an extra bonus and royalty favors if you bring me
their heads!”
Fizzarolli grinned. “This
is gonna be so fun!”
“The rewards. Striker,
you’ll be rewarded by me for killing Stolas. 10,000 souls or more. And a new
home in Wrath for you and your family.”
Striker had to roll his
eyes. He didn’t have a family anymore. He didn’t just want 10,000 souls. Now
that he thought about it, he wanted much more.
“Fizzarolli, Loo-Loo
land will be repaired and you’ll get to lead future productions in Lu Lu World.
Plus money, your own brand and perhaps…” she whispered so only he could hear, “…freedom.”
“Oh goody!”
“Verosika…more tours,
more sex and money for you. You’ll be the star of every Ring in Hell.”
Verosika grinned and
fluffed her long pink-white hair.
Stella smirked in a
manner unfit for a queen. “And to make things a little more fun…as a way to
show Stolas what his infidelity means…a special
prize for the first one to kill Blitzo for me…”
She playfully massaged
her boobs under her pink dress. All the villains minus Vortex blushed in
delight and shock as they knew what she was implying. Verosika’s gang in the
far back of the room watched while eating popcorn. Vortex made a face of
disgust.
Seconds later, Stella
was regal again. “And you there, dog!” Stella called, making Vortex look up. “Verosika
has a special assignment for you.”
“What?” he asked.
“Keep a close eye on
that loony hellhound of theirs,” Verosika grinned deviously.
Worry was etched onto
Vortex’s face as he nodded. Though he had a girlfriend, he had found Loona
adorable at the beach on Earth. He couldn’t believe what he had to do now.
“I’ll keep you updated
on Stolas’ whereabouts and when it’s time to move,” Stella finished. “Do not disappoint
me.”
The screen went dark.
“Well, that’s a wrap
folks,” said Verosika. “Meeting dismissed. Fuck around, get some sleep, we have
a big day tomorrow.”
Verosika took out her phone
and began texting.
“Who are you texting?”
Vortex asked.
“There’s this pink southern
succubus sinner named Martha,” Verosika grinned. “She says she leads an army in
the name of Satan and they want blood after being killed by you know who on
Earth. Ralphie and her two kids live with her there. She also wants this
Mayberry sinner dead.”
“What does that mean?”
Striker asked.
Verosika grinned. “It
means…we have a potential ally in the Pride Ring!”
“Awesome!” said Fizzarolli.
“Their enemies keep growing and growing!”
The villains laughed.
“With so many souls
seeking revenge, I.M.P. won’t know what hit ‘em!” Fizzarolli cackled.
“Yes, but let’s focus on
our main mission first,” said Striker. “Perhaps we’ll have the honor of getting
to them first!”
The villains laughed
again and retired to bed.
‘This
plan better work,’ Striker thought. ‘Because Stolas’ blood will not be the only blood that’ll be on my
hands soon enough…’
