Helluva Boss: Oops

 

Part 1: Routine

 

The sky in the Lust Ring of Hell was a deep navy blue, with thin dark lavender clouds shaped like hearts. The usual raindrops fell in their steady rhythm onto the metropolis below. Neon lights on skyscrapers revealed various sexual symbols that stood out in the dark: pink hearts, blue phalluses, green breast shapes, red Xs’, red hearts, and a purple windmill. Towering above the other buildings was the phallus-like pink penthouse palace of Asmodeus. Strings of lights decorated the top and giant cock feathers of pink, white, and teal intertwined around the structure.

 

Inside the palace was a spacious room, with windows that allowed for a great view of the city. Off to the side was a blue couch and a coffee table with a lamp of blue flames on it. There was a dresser and vanity mirror near a small bookshelf. Thick navy-blue curtains were draped overhead throughout the room. Under a round pink spotlight was Asmodeus sleeping in his round red bed decorated with round lights and a flame design. There were small pink drapes attached to hooks over the bed and long transparent curtains around the bed for display. Lit up stairs led to the raised bed and a closet cabinet. There was also a pentagram structure for decoration.

 

Under a light blue blanket with white hearts on it, lay the King of Lust himself, shirtless with hairy armpits, a purple muscular chest, teal heart nipples and his three heads of a ram, a bull, and a rooster. He had a crown of rooster feathers on his head and tail, and his two smaller horned heads on the side were somewhat obscured by his mane of teal hair. The robotic imp jester Fizzarolli was lying peacefully on Asmodeus’ chest.

 

Nearby was a grand ornate fireplace with teal blue flames creating heart shapes. Small candles on the mantle also had teal blue flames. There was another couch, books on raised stands, and a clock with Roman numerals with a gold heart design in the middle.

 

The cuckoo-clock activated, and a robotic red bird sprang from the device, unsheathing a metal point where its cock would be. From underneath the covers, Fizzarolli’s yellow-red eyes popped open. With a quick strike from one of his robotic arms, Fizzarolli punched through the bird, breaking it apart in wires and sparks. He extended both his arms into another room. Walking with thick thigh-high black leggings and high heels with hearts on them was a red succubus maid with dark hair in a thick bang. She wore a white apron and was carrying a pile of pink towels in her hands. She had red skin, a pointed tail, small black horns, and black bat wings. Behind her was a purple couch with a pillow and purple gear wallpaper.

 

The startled succubus dropped her towels and jumped back as Fizzarolli’s robotic arms shot past her. They looped over a gear-themed chandelier and into the kitchen. The wallpaper was purple with the heart/ram Asmodeus crest on it. Fizzarolli shakenly poured hot coffee into a mug that read “Thirsty boy.” (With a red pointed tail after the “Y.”) The coffee spilled on his hands and on the counter, but that didn’t bother him. He retracted his arms, causing the succubus to spin and stumble, and finally placed the coffee onto the dresser.

 

He picked up a horn-shaped jester wig to cover what was left of his horns and placed it on his head. Along with the wigs on display was a small picture of Fizzarolli’s white pet fly-dog. He smiled and posed as he got dressed, his pointed tail sticking out. Standing on his robotic legs, he soon was wearing a light greenish striped jester outfit, complete with pink bells on his horns. He had a pink heart on his forehead for decoration. His skin was scarred and white, except for a spot on his nose and at the back of his neck. Reaching over, Fizzarolli happily gulped down the hot coffee in the kettle, licking his lips with a forked tongue.

 

Fizzarolli whooped with delight as he jumped into the air and extended his limbs to support himself in the air. Smiling down at his partner, he laughed and called in his robotic Beetlejuice voice, “Rise and shine, Ozzie!”

 

He got out a red horn attached to a canister, shook it, and pressed a button. The airhorn sound woke Asmodeus up with a start as Fizzarolli laughed.

 

Asmodeus groaned and put his pillow over his head. “Ugh…Again with the horn…?”

 

Fizzarolli appeared next to him wearing 3D glasses and a long schedule list in his hands. “Don’t blame me, blame how fuckin’ fun they are!” He blasted the airhorn again and sat up.

 

“Mmkay, so today you have a meeting with the distributor about the new shipment of vvvibrators. Then you gotta host a safety meeting because of what happened with the old shipment of vvvvvibrators, and then you have a nooner with Prince Stolas.”

 

Asmodeus yawned, got out of bed, and stretched as he pulled a red housecoat from a hook and put it on. “Ahh, you scheduled me during lunch?”

 

Fizzarolli bowed and smirked. “Well, you’re pretty good at…”

 

He crept up and tightened the sash around Asmodeus’ waist, revealing his buttocks underneath… “…squeezing things in.” He eyed Asmodeus’ buttocks with a smirk.

 

Fizzarolli hoped onto Asmodeus’ shoulder and added in a sing-song voice, “But I left time for a big ol’ breakfast!”

 

Asmodeus playfully rolled his eyes. “Let me guess; I’m handling that, too?”

 

Fizzarolli lowered himself to the ground with his legs.

 

“I mean…unless you want me to take a crack at cooking again.”

 

Asmodeus laughed and then did a deadpan, “No. Never again.”

 

“Whaaaat? Maybe I could burn the milk this time!”

 

“Stooop,” Asmodeus responded playfully.

 

Fizzarolli hoped onto his shoulder again.

 

“OH! You know what I’m craving? Burgers!”

 

“No! It’s too early for burgers, you maniac!” Asmodeus responded with a grin.

 

“Burger time! Burger time! Burger time!” Fizzarolli chanted as they walked into the kitchen. They both laughed and leaned their heads together in a heart shape.

 

Asmodeus hummed as he made breakfast in the kitchen. The kitchen had a stove, cabinets decorated with sunset-colored panels, pots and pans, a small table with stools on a red and gold rug, and a gold sink faucet with handles.

 

Fizzarolli stretched his way over to the counter and picked up a magazine. “LUST RING NEWS: We have the horny!” There was an ad “Call for breast implants!” with a female imp with large round exposed breasts. An ad that showed red, yellow, and green tubes with monster faces read “Wally Wackford’s Wacky Waving Inflatable Flailing Tubes, order today!” Another ad showed locations for condoms in vending machines and “Brand New!” condoms in various designs. On the back of a magazine was a picture of a naked red succubus, being tangled in a leash of her fly-like dog; “Win steamy vacays in the Sloth Ring!”. There was also a “sexi crossword puzzle.”

 

“Lust’s biggest and ballsiest shop for all the grown-up fun times is about to have one of its hottest blow-out sales yet! The proprietor, a curious relocator from the Sloth Ring tells us that no one knows the bedroom quite intimately like a Sloth Ring demon…”

 

A large picture showed Fizzarolli and Asmodeus hugging in each other’s arms. The main blue headline read boldly: “KING OF OZZ A HYPOCRITE?!” The teal O’s were shaped like eyes. “King of Lust drops off…into romance??? Witnesses and new photos showing their sickenly lovey-dovey acts are revealed!” The front of the magazine showed another photo of the couple, Fizzarolli holding one of his pet fly-dogs. “Royal Scandal Special! SHOCKING NEW PHOTOS EMERGE! Lust’s eternal bachelor and Hell’s most famous jester co-habiting. Heart hoarded by an imp?”

 

“Tongues wagging and hearts breaking today as shocking new photos emerge of Asmodeus, the study sin of lust engaged in elicit kandooling with long ‘business partner’ Fizzarolli, ex-performer from the now disbanded all-imp circus as well as the face (and body) of everyone’s favorite personal companion bot Robo-Fizz! Mammon’s favored bot has seemed to bedazzle our own Asmodeus…”

 

Fizzarolli’s face fell, and he soon crumbled up the magazine and tossed it into a nearby trash can. Fizzarolli snuck behind the humming Asmodeus, tossed the trash can out the window and fell onto the floor.

 

“WHOA!”

 

Asmodeus glanced at Fizzarolli, and he did a quick pose and a wave. A demon screamed from outside after the trash can fell. There was a golden vinyl record player on a shelf, a gear chandelier, and a big screen TV in the living room.

 

Asmodeus opened the fridge to see all kinds of food and drink: a death-by-chocolate cake with a strawberry on top, a pitcher of fruit punch and ice, eggs from a fire-breathing red chicken, juicy 100% juice cartoon, butter, cream pie whipped cream, lemons, and other sweets.

 

Asmodeus and Fizzarolli soon had plates with their morning breakfast: bacon, and eggs. Fizzarolli popped a piece of jelly toast into his mouth. “Yeah, yeah, I know I can pick up some more milk while I’m out today,” Fizzarolli smiled.

 

“About that…” Asmodeus added, as he gave Fizzarolli his breakfast plate. “You’re still going to that contest rehearsal…without me?”

 

Fizzarolli ate some egg and bacon. “Well y-you have a packed day today…and I know you aren’t big on the whole Mammon thing, sooo…”

 

“It’s the Greed Ring…” Asmodeus mentioned. “One of the cities is literally called, ‘Ransom.’ Quite dangerous.”

 

Fizzarolli waved a hand. “Ah! You worry too much. You know I ain’t afraid of ropes. ‘Sides, I’m…”

 

He slid to the side, “…slippery.”

 

Asmodeus smirked. “I mean only after I…”

 

“What?” Fizzarolli turned around with food in his mouth.

 

“What?” Asmodeus repeated. Both of them blushed as they briefly thought of their sexual fantasies.

 

Fizzarolli broke the silence. “C’mon Ozz! I can be on my own ONE day!”

 

Asmodeus looked at Fizzarolli with concern and took his plate to wash it in the sink. “But you haven’t been to the Greed Ring alone since becoming Mam’s big brand-figure.”

 

“Yeah, I guess, but it’s not like I’m gonna stick around!”

 

Asmodeus scratched the back of his neck. “I can get you an escort.”

 

“Ah! I can handle it!” Fizzarolli protested. “C’mon big daddy!” He widened his eyes into puppy-dog eyes, pink hearts sparkling. “PWEEEASE??”

 

Asmodeus snorted and laughed. “Well, you know I can’t say no to a face that cute.”

 

Fizzarolli playfully poked him on the nose. “Mhm! That’s why I use it!”

 

Asmodeus leaned his head against Fizzarolli’s back and seductively put a finger under his partner’s chin. Fizzarolli wobbled in delight. “Just try to stay out of trouble, Fizzie-frog,” Asmodeus mused, twirling Fizzarolli’s tail on his finger and snapping it back.

 

Fizzarolli gently pushed Asmodeus’ furry face away. “Ah! Stop it!”

 

“Nooo!” Asmodeus mused.

 

Both of them giggled as the giant king picked up the imp in a hug and spun him around. 

 

“Ozz!” called a succubus woman with round glasses thick white hair, pink skin, a white skirt, and a black shirt. She came into the room, carrying boxes with Mammon’s jester logo on them. “I have the new shipment of…”

 

She paused in confusion as she spotted Fizzarolli in Asmodeus’ arms.

 

“Ya mind?!” Fizzarolli asked in annoyance. “Trying to have an un-emotional bang-sesh here!”

 

Asmodeus made a show of slamming Fizzarolli onto the kitchen table. “YEAH! ‘Cuz we’re so NOT in love!” A crystal and bowl crashed to the floor.

 

“YEAH!” Fizzarolli added. “LOVE. IS STUPID!”

 

The succubus placed the boxes down and glanced in suspicion before leaving the room and closing the door.

 

“Whew!” breathed Fizzarolli. “That was close, huh?”

 

Asmodeus sighed as Fizzarolli slipped out from underneath him. “Just come right back when it’s over and keep your phone on ya, okay?” Asmodeus told Fizzarolli.

 

Fizzarolli gave a thumbs up and a finger snap and reached out to grab his cell phone with a round yellow smiling keychain attached to it. “Got it riiight here! Be riiight back after!” He poured himself some coffee into a “Daddy Juice” cup with hearts on it and drank from it. There were nearby cookies shaped like penises and round holes to resemble vaginas. “Don’t worry, Ozz! I’ll be super low-key. Nobody will notice me!”

 

Asmodeus folded his arms and shook his head as Fizzarolli finished his drink and slinked his way out the door. The king placed his fingers on his head. He knew that Fizzarolli loved being the center of attention…and that almost always led to trouble. Asmodeus sighed as he looked at the rest of his long schedule. It was too late to change his mind about letting his partner go off on his own. Now it was time to start his usual day.

 

0 0 0

 

*Willy Wank-a dildo factory noises*

 

In a factory in the Lust Ring, (Big Ozzie’s Factory) a red heart-shaped machine opened up to reveal freshly made dildos, with steam coming out from the lower part of the heart-shaped container. The dildos in the container lowered to the level of an assembly line of succubus and incubus workers below. A round bot with bat wings and metal spider-like legs carried a metal box of dildo devices throughout the area. Below were several trucks decorated with devil horns on the top. Workers were putting the sex toys into crates and loading them up into the trucks. Overhead on a balcony, a succubus with white curly hair was examining machine blueprints.

 

Succubi and incubi of all shapes and sizes stood in line wearing all-body black hazmat suits, gloves, and protective goggles. Plastic protected their black bat wings. A heart shaped opening in their bodysuits only revealed a small part of their pink skin. Several succubi wore high-heel pink boots. A fellow incubus lifted a heavy metal crate filled with dildos, vibrators, and a metal phallus-shaped test vibrator.

 

In the art section of the factory, a smiling succubus with white curly hair was painting a dildo a bunch of rainbow colors. A small black case of paints was next to her. Another worker grinned as he spray-painted another dildo purple. An incubus carried a bucket of dildos overhead. An older incubus was talking to the painter succubus.

 

Nearby in a large caldron, another succubus was pouring chemicals from a hose into the caldron while another one poured liquid from a tan barrel with a black hazard symbol on it. Pink smoke wafted through the air. An incubus and a succubus laughed as they played with teal and magenta dildos in a swordfight. Another worker took notes on a notepad.

 

The incubus from earlier placed the test vibrator onto the moving conveyor belt where more workers with face masks and transparent caps over their horns examined the sizes of the dildos.

 

“Larger, you can never be too large,” Ozzie told one of the workers with a laugh. “You can never be too large.” A succubus in a hazmat bodysuit grabbed the test vibrator and flew off. More workers were gathered around the balconies, talking, relaxing, and examining the giant glass tubes and climax-inducing concoctions cooking in the corners.

 

Surrounded by ten workers hovering in the air, Asmodeus examined two large blueprints for the test vibrator. Asmodeus wore his usual black top hat, high heel dark boots and striped suit, with white stripes that seemed to glow in dark places. Some of the workers wore white lab coats near an area labeled “Test Chamber.” “Hm…smaller, smaller,” Asmodeus mentioned as he pointed at the designs. “Hit the spot right there. Oh, that’s good. I like…oh I like that…that’s good, mhm!”

 

The succubus arrived with the metal test vibrator device.

 

Asmodeus walked around as he read another blueprint. “New Shipment of Vibrators, Test Sample N. 2.0. Share your orgasm hell-wide! Fingering synergy, soft touch, massive, 78 inch.” Along with numerical formulas, the blueprint showed a giant device that could send out energy through the air to give instant erections to males and females alike in the vicinity. Two succubi opened up the metal canister, revealing a giant sparkling magenta vibrator. It was placed in the Test Chamber as the glass door closed down. Workers flew over and helped Asmodeus put on a white lab coat and goggles. He nodded and gave a thumbs up. One worker held plans while another held a clipboard. After everyone got their safety goggles on, a succubus pressed a button. The device vibrated in the chamber…

 

…and exploded, much to everyone’s shock. The scientists and Asmodeus soon had charred outfits and faces with blue flames.

 

“Auurgh!” Asmodeus groaned in frustration. “It was so close! Make a smaller version and stand by for a moment…” The demons went back to work.

 

After completing his meetings at the factory, Asmodeus talked with more demons about the shenanigans of Valentino, the pimp and owner of Porn Studios in the Pride Ring.

 

“Valentino’s still working with Vox the TV demon, whom he has a relationship with,” said a succubus as they talked on a balcony. “And Velvet is like their psychotic fashionista daughter figure. Thanks to Vox’s influence of television and Velvet’s love potions and social media, Porn Studios is the most famous sex company over there. Angel Dust is one of their famous stars.”

 

“Does he have any agendas?” Asmodeus asked.

 

“Oh, the usual, secret sex slave work, pimp business and drugs, porn videos distributed all through Hell, luring sinners and demons alike into his technology traps. The three Vs are the top in Pride. Rumor has it that they want to stop a princess from opening a hotel to redeem sinners.”

 

Asmodeus scoffed in disgust. “Redeeming sinners, what a laugh! Valentino is one filthy sinner I cannot stand! Besides his cruelty toward animals, he uses and abuses his clients! He gives sex a bad name! N-not that there should be any r-romance per se…” he added after a raising of the eyebrows, “…but unless clients clarify that BDSM is what they want, then there is no consensual passion. Foreplay and intercourse should be pleasurable…molestation and rape are horrific, no matter who you are. Lust is an extravagant art, it should be earned, not tossed around like a toy.”

 

“Whatever you say, sir,” said the succubus.

 

Asmodeus scoffed. “If Valentino thinks that he’s the ruler of all things sex in Hell, he hasn’t met the King himself. And frankly he’ll be lucky if he doesn’t.”

 

Asmodeus then went to a small hidden factory where Asmodean crystals were being constructed and put into sex toys for disguises. He talked with a head succubus on another balcony.

 

“And let me remind you,” Asmodeus said, “that my Asmodean crystals are to be used by succubi and incubi only. Special permission must be given if other species of demon are to use them. And when going to Earth, it is only their job to seduce humans in disguise without drawing attention. The last thing we need is to be hunted down by the humans and draw the attention of Heaven.”

 

 Asmodeus then spoke in a low demonic voice. “And for the love of Satan, do not let Valentino or any of the sinners near these crystals. Do you understand?”

 

“Y-yes sir,” she said.

 

“How many humans has your crew got?”

 

“Verosika Mayday and her crew seduced many at that beach concert during spring break. Several humans were coincidentally killed on that day and brought to Hell. I’d say around fifty lustful humans are due back to Hell in a few years after their deaths.”

 

Asmodeus smirked darkly. “Very good.”

 

“Verosika Mayday and her crew also got arrested that day. I don’t know how they managed to escape and travel back to Hell.”

 

“Thankfully I provided them with my crystals,” Asmodeus said. “How else could they have mysteriously appeared in Hell again or have traveled to Earth in the first place?”

 

“The grimoire?”

 

“Stolas’ grimoire? Not likely. My grimoire? Usually only used for special occasions. Well at least that mystery’s solved. No one knew about the crystals until many episodes later.”

 

“Episodes, sir?” asked the succubus.

 

“What was that story about you in a lovey-dovey romance with an imp?” an incubus asked with a glare.

 

“Yeah, it was in the episode of none of your business,” Asmodeus seethed. “Now get back to work! Dismissed!” Asmodeus stomped off, reminding a fellow succubus to be careful when handling a crystal. She touched the glowing part and accidentally fell with a yell through a portal into an ocean on Earth.

 

 

0 0 0

 

An exhausted Asmodeus was relieved when he could go back to his office, back at his penthouse palace. Back at his desk, the room was dark, save for the blue flames in the lamps on either side. Asmodeus started longingly at a giant Greek-style portrait of him and Fizzarolli. Asmodeus was lounging on a bed, arm extended, as Fizzarolli smiled against his chest, forked tongue out. The fly-dogs posed cherub-style in the air. There was a bowl of grapes and fruit next to them. They both were naked, save for a single magenta cloth around them, also revealing Fizzarolli’s scarred back. Lightning flashed, briefly revealing Fizzarolli’s glowing teal eyes and fanged smile. Asmodeus, startled, soon grew worried. The rain continued to fall as it always did.

 

Where was his little Froggie imp? (Fizzarolli seemed to enjoy his fly-dogs and hoping around like a frog with his robotic arms, hence his pet-name. And the way Fizz could use his tongue in bed…made Asmodeus shiver with delight).

 

Asmodeus knew that the Greed Ring could get violent, dirty, and chaotic. Sure, there was chaos in the Lust Ring, but it was chaos without the dirt and brute crimes of the sort. Despite knowing how tough his imp partner was…it still felt like he let a young child or teen go off by himself into some unknown ghetto world. He especially didn’t appreciate how Mammon had paraded Fizzarolli around like a prized product instead of showing any real concern.

 

Asmodeus checked his watch. It had his purple sigil on it and both hands were pointed at the top to XII. 12:00 noon. It was already time for his meeting with Prince Stolas.

 

Stolas sat in the dim waiting area on a long couch, wearing his usual red robe, and fancy clothes. The red eyes of two plants glowed faintly in the dark. The double doors had images of a red demon and a purple demon on them, along with hearts. Several candles with small blue flames were in holders covered by glass jars. Stolas clenched his top hat in nervousness until the doors opened.

 

“Stolas! Hey there, birdy babe,” Asmodeus mused.

 

Stolas put on his hat and strode forward.

 

Asmodeus added, “Haven’t seen you since you crashed my club, how ya been?” Asmodeus closed the doors and chuckled. “Still gettin’ yo kink on with that feisty imp?”

 

The room was dark and spacious, with an ornate fireplace with teal blue flames, two blue leather chairs with gold heart designs and a table. There were torches with the same blue firelight and thin candles arching up in a curved shape. Blue flames were also present in a chandelier overhead. Gears stood against red wallpaper and gold heart designs in contrast to the blue. Most peculiar in the room were figures of semi-nude robotic demons frozen in sexual poses in giant tubes tinted blue. They had ball gags and belts around them.

 

Stolas laughed nervously. “Aha, well, um, that’s exactly what I’m here about. You see, I um…seem to have found myself with…feelings. For him. And I’m not sure if it’s a mutual thing...”

 

Asmodeus pulled out a chair. On the table was a blue teapot and cups. In the center was a bowl full of sexual-themed candies: penis shaped candies, lip-vagina shaped candies and heart candies with three x’s on them.

 

Asmodeus narrowed his eyes and sat down. “Well, I can tell ya, if you’re looking for a love potion, you came to the wrong fucking guy. I don’t fuck with that artificial bullshit!”

 

Stolas sat down.

 

Asmodeus picked up the bowl of candies. “Lust shouldn’t be about force…it’s an ART! To be earned and enjoyed. It’s all about that journey…”

 

He made a show of moving a purple penis candy into the hole of a vagina red candy. “…to Pleasuretown. Ya feel me?” He looked at Stolas through the candy mouth hole and chuckled.

 

Stola held up his hands, flustered. “Oh no, never, never that!”

 

Asmodeus popped the candies into his mouth.

 

“I just…you see…” Stolas began. “This imp has a business he runs. He needs to access the mortal realm to carry out his work. I know your demons are some of the only ones who can transverse freely and legally. I was wondering if you could assist me in…”

 

He pulled out his Asmodeus grimoire and pushed it on the table toward Asmodeus. “…finding a way he could, too?”

 

Asmodeus dumped the rest of the candies into his mouth and swallowed.

 

“Oh! Hmm…Stolas…” Asmodeus cleared his throat and pushed the empty bowl aside. “My heart bleeds for you! But my partner…uh… business partner Fizzarolli, HATES your imp guy. Blitzo, right? Yeah…HAATES…” he clenched his hand.

 

“He does?” Stolas asked. “But why?”

 

Asmodeus shrugged. “Not my story to tell, but trust me, I would help if I could. But I can’t. Sorry…”

 

Stolas looked downcast, secretly envious of how close Asmodeus and Fizzarolli were.

 

Asmodeus’ cell phone did a frog sound ringtone. He picked it up and it said he had a new message from Fizzarolli, nicknamed “Froggie”. The screen background showed the neon signs of Lust Ring city with the hands of Asmodeus and Fizzarolli making a heart shape. Asmodeus stood up and read the messages.

 

FROGGIE

Fizz: “DID YOU KNOW THE BIT OF SKIN ON YOUR ELBOW IS CALLED A WEENIS?”

Ozzie: “LMAO I DID KNOW”

Fizz: “SHITS WILD. I JUST SAW A BILLBOARD WITH A MAAAAASIVE BANANNA ON IT. IT MADE ME THINK OF U. <3”

Ozzie: “AWW THANX BB <3”

Fizz: “GOT THE MILK BTW. NOW GONNA SHOW THOSE GREED RING BITCHES A REAL FUCKIN’ ENTERANCE! GET READI FOR THE HEADLINES. AND THE BBIES (dogs) SAY ‘HI!’”

 

Asmodeus then saw “new video message.” He pressed play and his phone flew into the air in a magenta aura of magic. It hovered over the table and magenta light morphed and extended into a screen after doing a curved heart-shape. A Fizzarolli icon appeared with hands in fluffy cuffs, and it read “DOWNLOADING…” Asmodeus smiled; he couldn’t wait to see more of Fizzarolli’s shenanigans.

 

 

 

0 0 0

 Part 2: Revenge

 

Meanwhile in the Greed Ring, a white coffee cup was run over by a vehicle among a few torn Mammon dollar bills. The license plate read “JIZZLORD”, and the back was decorated with five purple eyes and green sparkling diamonds around the eyes off to the side. The side was decorated with painted blue flames. The door to the limo opened…steam came out and a magenta and gold carpet was laid out across the ground. Gangster imps and mob sharks currently fighting and robbing a bank froze in their tracks. Fizzarolli proudly stepped out onto the stairs in a new jester outfit: pink and white striped suit, a lavender jacket with teal hearts on the shoulders, a fluffy yellow jester collar with pink squiggles and transparent pointed yellow sunglasses with pink rims.

 

Fizzarolli adjusted his sunglasses as speakers rose onto the roof and cannons jutted out. The purple dildo-shaped cannons blasted forth yellow and white confetti. An imp with a top hat and suit wiped off the confetti. A thin shark demon choked on a piece of confetti and fell dead at Fizzarolli’s feet. Fizzarolli casually walked over him. Fizzarolli held nine magenta leashes in his left hand…eight pairs of green eyes and a pair of magenta eyes glowed in the dark. Moments later, nine Quieves (fly-like dogs) bounded from the limo, squeaking and tearing up the shark’s body. Fizzarolli clapped and whistled, and the dogs raced over toward their owner. Most of the dogs had black/green small bodies, fly wings and large fly eyes, some eyes yellow and red, others blue and purple. Fizzarolli’s favorite dog was the ninth: a cute white Queef with magenta eyes in a small wheelchair. The dogs left behind the shark’s skeleton. The white dog rolled over with a bone in its mouth. Fizzarolli laughed as the dogs twirled around him and he spun around. Grinning, he did a small jump and roller skates appeared under his boots.

 

“Whoahohhoho!”

 

The dogs ran off, taking Fizzarolli with them who rolled at full speed.

 

“Whoa! Girls, girls, girls! Heheheheh!”

 

The dogs rushed past a startled succubus lady with a magenta baby carriage, almost tripping a bat/dinosaur demon, and racing past a vented garage door spray-painted with a shark on it. They barreled past a “Don’t” construction sign, through wooden boards, past a suited demon with coffee cups, past a “Get mauled sign,” past an imp woman with a dollar sign shirt who was hanging from a pipe, a jester-dressed shopper demon, a fat jester…

 

Fizzarolli’s jagged windshield wipers wiped off the mud splatting onto his sunglasses. Toilet paper blew from around his waist and a plastic bag hung from his arm.

 

“Man, it’s great not being in the spotlight for once!” he exclaimed. The denizens of Greed behind him gave him surprised and glaring looks. There was an old man imp, a shark with a hoodie on the ground and another male imp in a car with green glasses.

 

He raced past a small yellow triceratops, past a dragon with a smoothie and a bones shirt, and a green lizard demon.

 

Meanwhile up ahead, a hellhound had just kicked Blitzo out of a shop.

 

Blitzo bellowed on the ground, “Look lady, it’s not MY fault if you only know how to make coffee that tastes like piss!”

 

Fizzarolli’s eyes widened as he tried to skid to a stop, hitting the brakes. His skates retracted and his heels skidded on the ground, creating sparks.

 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, WOAH!” Blitzo yelled on the ground as he scooted back and the dogs stopped, dust rising and clearing near Blitzo’s face. The dogs squeaked at Blitzo who glanced in confusion.

 

“Oh wow! Lookie who it is!” Fizzarolli began, standing over Blitzo. The dogs went back to Fizzarolli.

 

“Oh fuck,” Blitzo groaned as he stood up, “You again…”

 

Fizzarolli lifted up his glasses, “Stalkin’ me now, huh?”

 

“Oh, don’t fucking flatter yourself, clown. I have my own life, y’know. WITHOUT YOU IN IT!” Blitzo pointed a finger at him.

 

“Uh huh, sure,” Fizzarolli mocked. “Blitzo!”

 

“The ‘o’ is silent now, bitch!” Blitzo yelled, jabbing him with a finger.

 

Fizzarolli brushed off his arm.

 

Blitzo then grinned, “and gee whizz, we’ve been in each other’s relative vicinity TWICE in the last fifteen years! That would make me…” he spread out his arms, “THE SHITTIEST STALKER IN HISTORY!”

 

“Twice…” Fizzarolli began before petting his white dog and standing up to Blitzo, “…IS ALREADY WAY TOO MUCH.” He got into Blitzo’s face and fiddled with Blitzo’s round necklace. He lowered his glasses and shoved Blitzo to the side.

 

“Yeah?” Blitzo retorted, “Well at least I’m still actually working for my shit and not getting everything handed to me like some pampered attention whore!”

 

Fizzarolli froze in place at the insult. He growled and clenched his fists. The little white dog bounced up in the wheelchair on another dog’s head up to Fizzarolli. The white dog nuzzled its head against Fizzarolli, causing the jester to pause and look down. There was a bone in the dog’s curved snout. Fizzarolli took the bone and read the letters in gold on the magenta leash: “From Ozzie with <3.”

 

More determined, Fizzarolli roasted Blitzo with a comeback. “Yeah well…that’s what resilience and talent gets ya.” He chuckled. “Plus! My horns were always bigger than yours…weren’t they?!” He grinned, showing his eyes. Trash blew across the street.

 

Blitzo seethed…that had hit a nerve. Fizzarolli strolled away with a smug look. Blitzo whirled around and charged at the jester imp. He knocked Fizzarolli to the ground and he screamed. They crashed into the dogs and rolled on the ground in a scuffle. The dogs flew through the air, one of them dizzy on the ground, one running in circles. One of Blitzo’s brown horse plushies bounced onto the sidewalk. Before long, there was a crowd of sharks, imps, and Greed citizens watching them quarrel. A muscular green demon tore off his white shirt, “FIGHT FIGHT” was written on his chest.

 

0 0 0

 

 

Meanwhile in a cracked old warehouse building, a pair of familiar villains were conjuring a sinister plot in the shadows. The office was dim and dirty, with boxes on the floor, a dead fish skeleton on display, and worn furniture. There were dusty bookshelves and a poster on a board that read “Concrete shoes on sale.” Mantles of fish-heads, shark teeth, angler-fish heads and imp horns were on display on the walls. Off to the side were two big mobster demons smoking cigarettes and playing pool. One was a big yellow shark with a dark blue suit and the other was a thin green snake with a dull blue suit, white tie, and white hat. A tall thin green shark with a blue and red suit and matching hat stood guard by the desk.

 

“So…” began the man sitting in the high-backed office chair. “You say you’re good? Cuz’ we really need a big score right now.”

 

The cowboy in the adjacent chair spoke. “The best, had a royal on the ropes just last week.”

 

The shark guard poured wine into a glass on the desk.

 

“Sure…but not dead?” The mob boss folded his hands in disapproval, eyes glowing yellow. It was Crimson himself. He had the same red face with white freckles, red jagged pointed tail, a black large hat with a red center rim, blue suit with red vertical stripes, and long jagged stripped horns pointing back from his head of white hair. A white flame-shaped scar was around his right eye. Green flames glowed eerily in the fireplace behind him.

 

Sure enough, the white-haired cowboy Striker, had also returned for revenge. He was donned in his cowboy outfit; dark boots, ripped white pants, black shirt, dark vest, and gray jacket with tassels below. His dark grey sunhat was perched on his chair and a red bandana was around his neck. His long, pointed tail with spikes on it resembled the sharpness of his jagged stripped imp horns and sharp rows of yellow teeth.

 

Striker took a sip of his wine. “It was…called off,” he admitted. “But I have a body count in the hundreds.” He swooped his hand. “I ain’t afraid to go after anyone. Women, kids…” He spotted a fly-dog being splattered against a nearby window and grinned, “…and cute little faced puppy-looking things. Don’t matter.”

 

“Hmm…” Crimson began. “I’ll tell ya what…”

 

Striker growled; his eyes glowing yellow as he heard a commotion from outside. He walked over toward the window. He spotted a large crowd of Greed Ring citizens chanting and taking videos with their cellphones.

 

“If you can deliver something of value…I’ll consider it,” Crimson finished.

 

Striker then spotted Blitzo and Fizzarolli fighting on the ground.

 

“How about Asmodeus’ imp toy and that asshole imp who ruined both our plans?!” Striker thought.

 

Striker grinned and opened the windows, “One moment.” He twirled his lasso and expertly flung it into the air. The lasso wrapped around the two imps, and they screamed as they were pulled through the window. He flung the two imps into the room, and they crashed in a heap against the wall.

 

“Two imps with one rope,” Striker thought.

 

“Hired!” Crimson smirked to Striker, pleased with his quick kidnapping. Blitzo and Fizzarolli were already surrounded and held down by Crimson’s mafia shark gang. Pistols were pointed at Blitzo and Fizzarolli. The two villains laughed evilly as they strolled toward their helpless rivals.

 

“Funny to run into ya again, Blitzy!” Striker mocked, towering over him. He pulled out a red jagged dagger and put it against Fizzarolli’s throat. “…and with a famous friend…”

 

“Ah fuck me,” Blitzo groaned in defeat, hand over his face.

 

“For the record, we are not friends!” Fizzarolli spat, folding his arms.

 

0 0 0

 

“Hello, Asmodeus.”

 

Crimson, hands behind his back, grinned sinisterly in the phone video that Asmodeus and Stolas were watching in Asmodeus’ palace. Asmodeus’ face fell after not seeing his beloved imp in the video.

 

Crimson continued. “You don’t know me, but you don’t need to. All you need to know is that I have your little jester here with me!”

 

Striker brought Fizzarolli into view, pulling on one of Fizzarolli’s jester tassels on his head. He was tied up in duct-tape and struggled in vain against Striker. Striker grinned as Fizzarolli screamed before his mouth was covered with the duct-tape.

 

Asmodeus growled in anger and clawed at the holograph. Fizzarolli’s duct-taped mouth and scared eyes appeared in his hands as the video with Crimson returned.

 

“If you want him back alive, you will give me exactly what I want.”

 

Asmodeus clenched his fists and spoke in a low demonic voice. “Do you have any idea who you are FUCKING WITH?!” His face turned red, and his mane burst upward in white-red flame. All his heads were red with anger.

 

“I…think it’s a recording,” Stolas interrupted. The owl tried to console the king.

 

“Ya probably just asked if I know who I’m dealing with.” Crimson smirked, eyes narrowing, “and oh yes, I know. The weakest and most non-threatening of the Sins. The king who will do whatever it takes to save the worst kept secret in all of Hell. We both know you won’t risk anything happening to the clown…” He pinched Fizzarolli’s face hard with his hand and tossed him aside for Striker to grab. “So be a good little bitch boy and do the thing. My lawyers will be over shortly with the contract of demands. You have until the witching hour to sign it.” He made a flaming red clock with his finger and pushed it into Stolas’ face. The clock made a crossbones symbol, before fading, making Stolas cough.

 

“Hahahahaha!” Crimson laughed evilly. “Now cut,” he told one of his goons. “I SAID CUT IT, YA FUCKING MORON!”

 

The video ended and the cell phone tumbled onto the table. The tea set and candle rumbled as Asmodeus powered up. Stolas stepped back in concern as Asmodeus’ tail feathers turned to pink flame and his mane of teal hair turned to teal flames. All three of his heads roared in rage.

 

0 0 0

 

Not too long later, Asmodeus groaned and lowered his head briefly to the table. He groaned in frustration.

 

“Can I just sign it already? Like can we move this along?”

 

An elderly purple shark lawyer in a blue striped suit, red necktie, and glasses shrugged and handed him the contract.

 

The owl prince added, “Sire, you need to know the contents of this contract, you can’t just sign it. A deal made with a sin like yourself would be everlastingly binding. Perhaps I could look it over, I’m a fast reader.”

 

Asmodeus handed him the paper.

 

“Oh! Hmm…” Stolas began, suspicious of the lawyer. “This is a contract giving Crimson all of Ozzie’s factory assets and giving him permission to use Fizzarolli’s head for a wall decoration.”

 

Asmodeus tore the paper out of Stolas’ hands. “WAIT, WHAT?!”

 

“Juuust making sure you’re paying attention!” The shark laughed nervously. “Here’s the real contract!”

 

He picked up a tall stack of papers and pushed them over to the royals.

 

Stolas excitedly clapped his hands and made excited chicken noises. “Ooh! This will be fun! I love words!” He picked up the first page.

 

Asmodeus seethed, disintegrating the paper to ash in his hands. The meeting seemed to take forever. It was almost like the lawyer shark was being slow on purpose to allow Crimson to have his way…

 

 

Asmodeus checked his watch…it read 1:00.

 

 “Ok, so!” Stolas called, pacing back and forth behind a glowering Asmodeus, eyes glowing yellow. “I believe this draft allows for some factory ownership, specifically located in the Greed Ring. With allocated funds going to your client for the foreseeable future, while ensuring the safe return of one ‘Fizzarolli.’” He slammed the contract on the desk, pushing it to the lawyer.

 

 “Yeah, sure sounds good, now lemme just re-read thissss…” the shark said, moving the stack of papers and glancing at the first one through his glasses. He slowly drank out of his white mug which read “LIVE, LAUGH, LAW.”

 

“HURRY UP!” Asmodeus yelled in his demonic voice.

 

The shark smirked. “Yelling won’t make me read faster!”

 

Stolas tried to stamp out the blue flames coming from Asmodeus as his face turned bright red.

 

 

0 0 0 0 0

 

The thin shark guard lit Crimson’s cigar with green fire. He took several breaths of smoke before putting the cigar out on a table. They were now in a large warehouse. The guard held a remote that read “Up” and “Down.” Blitzo was tied up in a cage on the floor and Striker posed on top of the cage. The mafia snake carried a struggling tied up Fizzarolli and tossed him into the cage and shut the door. A few of the cage bars were bent and worn. Fizzarolli breathed heavily in a panic as the cage was lifted upward on a hook with rope. Crimson grinned at his captives as he then eyed a pile of gold coins on a table. A few of the sharks got beer from a few nearby kegs.

 

“Oh, chill out, jester,” said the tied up Blitzo next to him. “Christ on a stick, it’s like you’ve never been tied up before.”

 

“Ugh, sure, but not by a bunch of psychos…”

 

Fizzarolli tumbled on his side. “Ack! And a piece of shit!”

 

“Am I?” Blitzo asked. “Ok…ok am I the psycho or the piece of shit?”

 

“Both!” Fizzarolli spat.

 

“Yeah, that checks.”

 

Fizzarolli sat up. “How is this happening?! I was just supposed to grab some gas station milk and rehearse some juggling…!” Fizzarolli fell onto his back and sobbed.

 

“Oh RELAX, I’m sure your big royal chicken ain’t gonna let anything happen to his peppy lil’ fuckdoll,” Blitzo mentioned in frustration.

 

Fizzarolli rolled over and sat up, seething. “Ooooh playin’ that card, huh? Ok…” he scooted closer. “What about you? Seems your tastes have gotten more…’regal’ lately?” He chuckled.

 

“Yeah, well unlike you, I fuck who I want, when I want. I’m not gonna be tied down to some big blue-blooded asshole.”

 

“You coulda fooled me, the way princey was cozying up to you at Ozzie’s…” Fizzarolli retorted, annoyed that Blitzo had insulted his lover. He wrapped his tail around himself, making a show of it with wide puppy eyes.

 

“Hey!” Blitzo snapped. “Stolas only cares about having a rugged peasant raw-dog him into his mattress!” He then glanced off to the side, nervously. “It’s nothing, ya know…”

 

Fizzarolli glared in suspicion with raised eyebrows.

 

Blitzo sighed and groaned. “It’s nothing else…”

 

“Then why were you even there?” Fizzarolli asked.

 

Sweat beaded on Blitzo’s forehead, his eyes shifting. “OTHER very important reasons, of course!” He didn’t want to mention how he wanted to spy on his co-workers making love at Ozzie’s.

 

Fizzarolli shrugged. “Whatever. I don’t actually care.”

 

Denying his feelings further, Blitzo emphasized, “I mean, Stolas is just a loud, thirsty bitch who loves feeling the thrill of getting dicked by the lower class!”

 

Fizzarolli narrowed his eyes, seeing through Blitzo’s lies. All he wanted was to be back in Asmodeus’ arms and away from his ex-friend.

 

“It’s a novelty to him,” Blitzo added.

 

Fizzarolli scowled. “Literally just said I don’t care.”

 

Blitzo pressed on. “And THEN! He’ll call me and try to see how ‘my’ day was, and he’ll pretend to care about me, and comment on my photos and laugh at my jokes…”

 

“Oh!” said Fizzarolli. “Well, that’s definitely your clue right there that it’s all bullshit.”

 

“I KNOW, RIGHT?!” Blitzo yelled. Fizzarolli rolled his eyes at Blitzo not getting his sarcasm. Blitzo continued. “He’s just a fake privileged asshole.”

 

“Sounds like you just hate him for being a prince,” Fizzarolli mentioned. He chuckled. “Because no one and I mean NO ONE, pretends to care that much just for a cheap lay.”

 

“Point is,” Blitzo said, “Royal demons don’t give a shit about guys like us. They’re all the fuckin’ same…”

 

“That’s not…!” Fizzarolli began, “A-always true…but I guess you’re right. They can’t be all the same if SOME have taste and SOME wanna fuck YOU!”

 

“Can we talk about something other than my sex life?” Blitzo asked. “Satan’s taint…is fucking that lust guy make this what you’re all about now?”

 

“YOU brought it up, asshole!” Fizzarolli snapped.

 

“CAN YOU TWO SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY?!” bellowed Striker from above, banging on their cage. “You bicker like a couple of teen SKANKS!” He hopped onto a box, then leaned forward and walked to the cage. “As far as I’m concerned…you two are BOTH embarrassments to our kind for meddlin’ with blue-bloods to begin with!”

 

He grabbed onto the bars, scaring Fizzarolli backwards into Blitzo. Blitzo kicked him off. “Says the assassin asshole who licks the boots of Stolas’ ex-wife!” Blitzo retorted back. “And now he resorts to lapping up to the father of my employee. Hypocrite!”

 

Striker’s eyes glowed and his sharp gold fang glinted in the dark. “You may also be annoying besides the clown. But at least loud-mouth here has the sense to only fuck his rich bitch instead of being a lil’ purse dog.”

 

“Oh great!” Blitzo called in sarcasm. “The fucking supremacist is on my side, wonderful.”

 

“Neither of you filth bags know what you’re even talkin’ about,” argued Fizzarolli. “If you think you’re superior to ANYONE, then you’re no better than any royal…”

 

Fizzarolli found himself being gripped by his neck and pulled to the side by an angry Striker.

 

“Don’t. You. Dare. Finish that sentence, clown…”

 

Fizzarolli breathed heavily, sweat dripping down his face. Blitzo seethed at Striker, looking in concern at Fizzarolli.

 

“HEY! Hick-for-hire!” Crimson called from below. “I said watch ‘em, not fuck ‘em! Keep ya hands off the merchandise!”

 

Striker reluctantly let go of Fizzarolli and shoved him to the side. He jumped off the boxes.

 

“EAUGH!” Fizzarolli yelled down to Crimson and Striker. “EVER HEARD OF MOUTHWASH?! FUCKFACE?!”

 

Blitzo sighed in annoyance. Fizzarolli continued to struggle, trying to bite through the duct tape with his mouth.

 

“Ya know? You’re really bad at this,” Blitzo deadpanned.

 

“Hmm? Ya know? Last time I checked, I was a FUCKING JESTER, NOT an escape arti…”

 

From inside the duct tape, Fizzarolli’s robotic arm buzzed and crackled. The force sent Fizzarolli upward and his face made a screaming face-sized dent on top of the cage. He fell back down, his teal heart on his forehead glowing hot red before cooling down. He sniffled. “I just wanna go home…”

 

Blitzo had an idea. “Hmm…you want me to get you out?”

 

Fizzarolli whimpered, “Ye-ye-yes.”

 

Blitzo stood up and moved his boot. There was a glint and he bent down to pick it up. He extracted a knife.

 

“You had a knife this whole time?!” Fizzarolli cried.

 

Blitzo moved the knife between his hands, wiggling it so the ropes would snap off, freeing his arms. He was soon free of all the ropes.

 

“Aaahh!” Fizzarolli cried as Blitzo came toward him.

 

Satisfied at Fizzarolli’s reaction, Blitzo stalked toward the whimpering jester with a menacing playful grin. He grinned wider as he raised the knife in the air…

 

…and sliced off the duct tape, freeing Fizzarolli’s arms. He tossed the jester the knife so he could free his legs.

 

“Now stop bitchin’ while I work this,” Blitzo said, figuring out how to escape.

 

There was a yellow forklift with a sticker on the back, “How’s my driving? Call 666.” A demon sat in the cart with headphones. A white bag with powder was on top of green towels and hero-in drugs in a box. A green dragon demon looked at a piece of paper. A bunch of imps and sharks were playing pool in the center of the warehouse. One of the imps had a black wool mask over his face. More mafia demons were creating a pyramid of playing cards on a table. The cards had Mammon’s face on it and coins and dollar bills were also in front of them. A blue fish wearing a monocle sat with more shark demons in a corner, drinking beer, while a teal reptile demon lounged with his feet on the table. The yellow remote for the cage was next to his feet.

 

“Ahhh, BINGO!” Blitzo exclaimed, coming up with an idea.

 

“So, what now, genius?” asked Fizzarolli, annoyed. 

 

Blitzo pointed. “See that remote?”

 

“I mean, I could stretch down there…” Fizzarolli began.

 

“Yes, he could,” thought Blitzo. “The cage would drop, and we would be free. But then we would have to fight all those goons and we would soon be outnumbered. We’d just get re-captured again. No…I need to find a clever way to get rid of them first…create come chaos…”

 

“No…no…” Blitzo said. “I have a better idea…”

 

Fizzarolli yelled in surprise as Blitzo leaned against the cage and moved it violently. He glanced in satisfaction as the cage movement knocked over the stack of nearby boxes. The boxes fell onto the demon drinking beer and wearing a white tank top. The mug flew from his hand and into the air…

 

The muscular demon wearing a white cowboy hat finished the pyramid of cards and the mafia members cheered with pistols and money in their hands.

 

By sheer luck, the mug of beer landed into the pyramid of cards. The angry boar-like imp on the chair took out his black rifle, one eye blind, and fired rapidly at all the other screaming goons on the ground.

 

“Turning goons against each other, classic,” Blitzo thought.

 

Black imp blood splattered and stained the cage. The imps ducked as the bullets shot through the air.

 

“Keep it down! I’m shootin’ 8 ball over here!” yelled an angry imp playing pool as several goons were shot down, black blood staining the pool table.

 

“What’s going on?!” asked the demon wearing headphones in the yellow forklift. The thin green demon near him was dead. The demon was also shot, and the yellow forklift spun out of control. It rammed into more boxes, and by sheer luck also rushed toward the pool player. “SHUT THE FUCK UP!”  called the imp. He turned around in fear, saying, “Oh fuck me…” before being run over. The pool table was soon destroyed as forklift and table flew into the air…

 

Blitzo watched eagerly with a bag of popcorn in his hands.

 

One of the white pool balls happened to bounce onto a scaffolding roll as an explosion flashed. It rolled and rolled and rolled…

 

Blitzo moved Fizzarolli’s head for him to watch, as Blitzo sipped into a drink.

 

The ball rolled some more, getting ready to fall…Blitzo watched in anticipation, hoping his plan would work, Fizzarolli watched in concern…

 

And in an ultimate stroke of luck, the ball dropped and pressed the down button on the remote. Silence.

 

Fizzarolli glared. “Well…that didn’t w…”

 

Fizzarolli then screamed and Blitzo then grinned in victory as they plummeted down onto the floor, the cage breaking apart. One of the fluorescent lights hung haphazardly off a wire, sparking teal sparks before crashing to the floor. The dust settled and Fizzarolli coughed. Blitzo brushed off his suit.

 

“Show off,” Fizzarolli murmured to a smirking Blitzo, flipping him the bird. The duo then turned to see Crimson staring at them surrounded by five mafia demon sharks. He lifted cucumbers off his eyes in surprise, a martini drink in his hand. The imps froze in fear.

 

“THE FUCK?!” Crimson bellowed, smashing his drink and his cucumbers to the floor. “GET THEM!”

 

A mafia dressed in white shot out a net that narrowly missed the imps. Blitzo saved Fizzarolli from the net and dragged him by the arm. They dodged the flying bullets. Blitzo grabbed his flintlock pistol and ducked behind a sideways round table. He fired shots of his own as Fizzarolli frantically ran off. A large gray shark with teal teeth and spine, pushed boxes over and another brown shark leaped at Fizzarolli, who jumped out of reach. Fizzarolli tossed a bowling pin at his face and narrowly avoided getting grabbed. He blasted an airhorn in the muscular thug’s face and was forcefully pulled into his meaty arms. There was a black broken heart tattoo on the thug’s arm. Fizzarolli tossed a banana peel to the floor, but the other thug ran over it instead of slipping.

 

“Augh, this usually works!” Fizzarolli cried, struggling to escape. “Goddammit!”

 

The other thug raced toward Fizzarolli with a white cane.

 

“FUCK!”

 

Fizzarolli twisted his way free, and the two goons ran into each other. Fizzarolli spun around and ran into Blitzo from behind, knocking both of them over.

 

“What the fuck, Fizz?!” Blitzo barked. “How is someone this flexible, this useless in combat?!”

 

They rolled out of the way of a goon and toward some boxes. They scooted away from the large gray shark and away from a deer-skull headed demon.

 

“I’m a performer! I sing, I dance, I promote products I don’t actually use…” Fizzarolli began. Blitzo shoved a running goon out of the way. Fizzarolli dodged the deer-skull demon’s knife. Blitzo picked up the demon and tossed him into another goon.

 

“I DON’T DO DANGER!” Fizzarolli cried as Blitzo knocked down the gray shark demon with a snap of the neck. He dragged Fizzarolli along. “Well good to know you’re still a wimpy circus puss.” Blitzo shot another goon in the head.

 

Fizzarolli growled in response as they climbed up a ladder. “I’d give you a comeback, but that would imply I give a shit what you think.” Fizzarolli leaned onto the ladder, but Blitzo rescued him before he could fall.

 

“You always cared what I thought!” Blitzo argued.

 

“Ohhoho, after what you DID TO ME?” Fizzarolli bellowed.

 

“I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!” Blitzo’s voice broke.

 

“AN ACCIDENT?!” cried Fizzarolli. “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!”

 

0 0 0

 

Part 3: Remembrance

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The scene went black as two spotlights showed two imps in green clown suits and white painted faces juggling four balls in their hands. Two imps in purple suits did a series of flips and landed gracefully to the front. A young female imp wearing a yellow and green gymnastics top balanced on one hand atop a black horse with a skull face, plus a mane and tail of neon green flames. The horse had green and yellow feathers atop its head with matching colored saddle and bells. The black heart-shaped symbol seen on the foreheads of the performers was displayed at the top of the stadium inside a red heart bordered by lights.

 

 

Stilt-walker imps wearing purple and yellow costumes were juggling balls in the air. Blitzo’s sister Barbie Wire was twirling on a tightrope wearing a purple dress and holding a yellow umbrella in her hand. She had black curled ram-like horns with small white stripes on them. She spun in the air and landed back on the tightrope. She smiled and posed.

 

 

Another performer breathed fire as a group of imps dressed in clown suits and bells over their horns balanced on top of each other in an inverted imp pyramid, holding gold rings. Two imps leaped through the hoops. Four imps balanced on a board and a small imp blew fire from a torch on top of the others. The crowd cheered. A knife thrower imp guy with white hair threw a knife near where a smiling black-haired imp woman was bond to a plank of wood with a target painted on it.

 

The ringmaster imp spoke up. He had long curved horns, a purple top hat, and a stitched up old circus costume of green and dark green vertical stripes. He was Cash Buckzo, Blitzo’s greedy father.

 

“Nowwww, everyone’s favorite thing about circus shit: the motherfucking clowns!”

 

The crowd screamed and gasped as ten imps in clown outfits leaped forward.

 

A small foot stepped onto a board high in the air.

 

“You ready Blitzo?” asked a young Fizzarolli.

 

A young Blitzo grinned, tugging the rope. “Born ready, Fizzarolli!” Blitzo didn’t mind the “o” in his name.

 

At the same time, the two young imps swung off the boards, holding onto ropes. Fizzarolli was a child imp, wearing a teal green suit with red markings and red bells attached to his intact stripped imp horns. He also wore a red clown nose. The young Blitzo’s face was red and scar-free, and he wore purple overalls and a pink shirt underneath.

 

This happy moment was back when Blitzo’s mother Tilla was still alive, before Barbie Wire went to rehab and before Fizzarolli lost his limbs and horns. It was clear that the two were best friends, who both loved money, Mammon, and the thrill of the show. Blitzo took Fizzarolli’s hand and together they swung around the stadium in a big arc. Both of them laughed together as they swung across the stadium.

 

 

After Fizzarolli and Blitzo landed down safely, Blitzo balanced on a red and yellow ball with an eye design on it. He posed with a “Haaa! Ta-da!”

 

Then he said, “Heya folks! Wanna see me make a horse?”

 

Blitzo pulled out a green balloon and blew into it. He rapidly wrapped it, and it appeared as a bundle of knots before it popped.

 

“Crap,” Blitzo muttered. He blew another balloon and tried again, but it popped again.

 

He tried again. And tried again. But the balloons kept popping.

 

“De-de-de-de-do-do-do-do,” Blitzo hummed nervously as a bored and unimpressed audience stared down at him.

 

Blitzo chuckled nervously. “Ah, he, he! Horse!” He showed a green balloon horse, except it had no legs. “Well, heh, it was a horse, but then it ate too much sugar and its legs stopped working, so they had to amputate, now it’s a gross worm horse.”

 

The young Stolas laughed.

 

Blitzo smiled and pointed at him. “See, he gets it because horses, they make no sense.”

 

Fizzarolli chuckled and stood beside Blitzo. “Okay, Blitzo, that’s enough ‘horsing’ around!”

 

In one try, Fizzarolli made a perfect red balloon horse, presenting it to the crowd. “Hey everybody, look at this! It’s Banana Pudding the clown horsey! Neigh!”

 

The crowd laughed as Blitzo looked down sadly and sighed.

 

“I liked his broken horse joke, it was funny,” said Stolas. “Their legs do stop working when they eat too much sugar, it’s called Laminitis.” He watched Blitzo balance on the ball with his legless balloon horse in his hand and Fizzarolli performing by his side.

 

0 0 0

 

Meanwhile, Blitzo and Fizzarolli played with their balloon horses together on a purple rug with a teal spiral decoration.

 

Fizzarolli moved his red balloon horse. “I’m Banana Pudding, and I like to dance!”

 

“I am Worm Horse!” said Blitzo, holding his legless green balloon horse. “And I… I am sad!”

 

“Why are you sad, Worm Horse?”

 

“Because, I have no legs!”

 

“Oh, well that’s okay.”

 

“I lost all my legs in…The War,” Blitzo dramatized.

 

Fizzarolli gasped. “The War?!”

 

“Yes!” said Blitzo. “The Great Pirate War!”

 

Fizzarolli giggled. “No, no pirates.”

 

“It’s a great pirate warrrr!” Blitzo teased.

 

Fizzarolli exasperated, “If you keep talking about pirates, I will punch you.”

 

Blitzo dramatized as he played, “I fought bravely but I could not run fast enough. They took my legs, there was blood everywhere!”

 

Fizzarolli laughed at Blitzo. “Oh no, eww! No blood. Blood is disgusting!”

 

Blitzo stood up with a grin. “No, blood is cool!” He laughed.

 

Fizzarolli moved his horse in a dance and giggled. “Well, Banana Pudding is here to save the day with his magical feet he dances around with. He will dance all over Worm Horse and make him feel better!”

 

“And then…” Blitzo paused dramatically. “There will be more blood!” He did a fake evil laugh as he squirted ketchup all over his green horse.

 

“Blitzo!” Fizzarolli laughed. “That’s so gross! Stop!”

 

Blitzo held up his ketchup bottle, arms in the air. “Never!”

 

(The balloon toys were a foreshadowing of Fizzarolli, the green horse, losing his legs in the distant future…)

 

 

0 0 0

 

A young happy Fizzarolli wore a clown suit that was green with red buttons on it and a red collar. He wore a red clown nose, and he had red bells on his intact stripped horns. He balanced on a large yellow ball with a red pentagram on it while also balancing spinning plates on sticks with his two hands, nose, and foot. He flipped and balanced the plates again with both feet, his nose and one hand, using his other hand to balance on the ball. The crowd clapped and cheered at his performance. When Fizzarolli finished, he spotted a young Blitzo peering somberly behind the curtain. He wore worn purple overalls and a striped shirt.

 

“Blitzo, you always had it out for me, because people liked me better! You wanted me gone because you were jealous! Just wanting the spotlight! I looked up to you, I thought you were my best friend. YOU RUINED MY LIFE! And then you just left me! I lost so much because of you! And you selfish piece of shit…YOU DIDN’T EVEN CARE!”

 

When Blitzo and Fizzarolli were older, they soon celebrated Fizzarolli’s birthday at the circus. They were teens and they wore braces. Blitzo peered behind the curtains again, this time wearing a white shirt with black buttons and red straps on his shoulders. Another imp helped Fizzarolli put on his red clown nose. There was a miniature fat imp with clown makeup on. Many other imps were conversing and drinking at the party, one woman wore a black and white striped dress. All the imp performers bore the same black family mark on their foreheads. Fizzarolli wore a light purple and white jester outfit with pink buttons on the sleeves. Cash Buckzo, Blitzo’s father wore his usual worn brown top hat, white goatee, and purple-ish striped shirt. He laughed and gave a birthday card to Fizzarolli. Blitzo watched in disgust as the outer-space blue card had stars and read “Wish you were my son” in bold gold letters.

 

The teen Fizzarolli turned and happily waved to Blitzo. But to Fizzarolli’s dismay, his friend scowled in jealousy and pulled back the red curtain. Then to the jester’s horror, green flames appeared out of nowhere, right where Blitzo was before! The clowns and performers and imps’ faces switched from joy to horror as they ran for their lives. Fizzarolli stumbled briefly to the ground before racing off. He opened a tent flap and spotted a box labeled “Fiyawoiks” and dynamite sticks in the corner. He peered closer in fear, flames dancing before his very…

 

BOOOMM!

 

The explosion was instant…the tent, red balloons and the “Happy Birthday Fizzarolli!” banner were destroyed. The fireworks blasted in the sky and the clown nose fell off.

 

Lying down on scorched earth was what was left of Fizzarolli. His horns were now mere stubs, cracking and burning at the tops as more pieces fell off. Tears fell from his eyes as he stared at Blitzo’s dark silhouette. Black blood spilled out from his burning limbs, his arms and legs being reduced to muscle, bone, and ash. His throat was burned and fried, he couldn’t even scream. He reached out what was left of his burning hand to Blitzo, fingers falling off. The last thing he saw was his former friend running off before he passed out from the agonizing pain.

 

If it hadn’t been for Asmodeus, he wouldn’t have survived.

 

0 0 0

 

Blitzo sobbed. “I DID CARE, FIZZ! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! IT WAS!”

 

Blitzo was jealous of Fizzarolli’s performances. But despite the jealousy, his best friend was also an inspiration. He looked up to Fizz and admired his charisma and skill. The way his eyes sparkled when he played tricks on the performers and on Blitzo’s father. The way he interacted positively with Barbie Wire and Blitzo’s Mom, Tilla.

 

And when Fizz talked about horses…Blitzo soon felt…flustered. The day of Fizz’s birthday, Blitzo had gathered up the courage to tell his friend how he felt. He had a special private card for him, a white envelope containing a love letter with a red heart on it that read “For Fizz’s eyes only.” He even had a red flower with a yellow eye in the center in his hand. He’d never admit it to anyone but…he loved Fizz. Perhaps more than just a friend and fellow circus performer.

 

The moment he saw his own father laughing with Fizz and treating him like a son…it became too much. He had suffered through his father’s arrogance for many years, and he now felt more alone than ever. If he wasn’t a good enough son for his own father, then maybe he was out of Fizz’s league as well.

 

Blitzo pulled back the curtain, staring teary-eyed at his letter. He turned around and closed his eyes, shoving an imp aside, with white hair and a white shirt with yellow buttons on it. Blitzo didn’t know that the imp was carrying Fizzarolli’s birthday cake with the candles already lit. “Happy Birthday Fizz” was written on the cake. The imp cried out and dropped the cake. Blitzo slammed down the letter and the flower in frustration, leaving them behind on the ground. Blitzo did not notice that the flames from the candles had already eaten the red curtains and was now rising up to an emerald-green inferno. Three horses were lying nearby, one with a mane of teal/green flames and tail, one with blue flames and one with pink flames. They had skull faces, feathers on their heads and tassels and outfits. The green-flamed horse noticed the flames and stirred a panic. The equines galloped off into the distance.

 

Blitzo raced out of the tent as other imps rushed outside screaming. Barbie Wire was not too far away outside, also terrified.

 

“Fizz!” Blitzo cried.

 

Before he could react…

 

Blitzo screamed as his right eye and side of his face got burned with a blast of green fire. His face was burned, as were several areas of his body that would later become scarred and white. He held a hand over his burned eye.

 

“Mom!” Blitzo cried, searching for any sign of his mother. But all he could see were green flames.

 

“Ok you’re right, Fizz, it was all my fault, ok? I…I should’ve done more to help…I was…I was TRYING…there was so much going on. I was trying to get help, Fizz. I just…it was still my fault.”

 

“Glad you could admit it, Blitzo. WANT A MEDAL?”

 

 “Look I’m sorry, Fizz…I am so sorry you got so hurt. I’m sorry for what you lost and I…I KNOW I can never make that right…but you have no idea what I lost in that fire…I mean its…it’s all my fault. I’d hate me, too.”

 

Teen Blitzo soon spotted the wounded Fizzarolli, straining to reach out.

 

“Let me get some help!” Blitzo cried as he raced off, Fizzarolli slipping into unconsciousness.

 

As the flames died down, Blitzo’s worst fear was confirmed. Blitzo and Barbie soon saw the burned dead body of their mother Tilla. Cash Buckzo came over and Blitzo told them the whole story.

 

It was that moment that Barbie Wire’s eyes widened, tears streaming down her face.

 

“Blitzo…it, it was you?!”

 

“Barbie, listen, I didn’t cause the fire, I swear! I bumped into the guy carrying the cake. The cake dropped and the flames spread too fast…”

 

“So, you did start it! And you weren’t even around to help Mom. What’s the matter with you? If you had been more careful, Mom would still be alive right now! Asshole!” She shoved her brother, brushing ash off her circus dress.

 

“I SWEAR IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! I WAS UPSET WITH FIZZ AND I DIDN’T MEAN IT…”

 

Cash Buckzo also glared at Blitzo with a sigh. “Now that Fizzarolli is gravely wounded and my wife is gone…and our family circus is gone…and MY CHANCE TO GET FILTHY RICH IS GONE, I CAN OFFICIALY DECLARE THAT MY OWN WIMPY GOOD FOR NOTHING SON IS, ALSO!”

 

Blitzo flinched back. “D-dad, I’m sorry, I…I-didn’t…”

 

All the imps stared somberly at their destroyed circus and the lives lost. Cash Buckzo sighed.

 

“The only good thing I can say is that if Fizz gets better, Mammon will use him as a new star figure. If only Fizz were my son, then Mammon would know about it, and I’d be living the dream. But now I’m in a nightmare because of you. Blitzo. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need a fucking drink, somewhere somehow…”

 

Cash Buckzo slouched off, disappearing through the foggy smoke. Blitzo tried to reach out to his sister.

 

She cut him off, tears in her eyes. “I HATE YOU, BLITZO! I DON’T WANNA SEE YOU EVER AGAIN!”

 

With that, Barbie raced off, leaving Blitzo heartbroken and alone. Barbie Wire would then go on to become temporarily famous in the circus before losing her fame to drug addictions. She would then go into rehab, cutting herself, briefly encountering Verosika, and then smuggle drugs on Earth, distancing herself from the family she once knew and loved.

 

A happy family picture of Tilla, with a young Blitzo and Barbie floated to the ground. It read “Us” with a heart on it. But before long, it caught on fire, starting with where Tilla was. Blitzo held onto his round red necklace, the only thing left to remind him of his mother.

 

Just like that…Blitzo’s family bonds had been reduced to ash.

 

 

 

0 0 0

Part 4: Reconciliation

 

Blitzo in the present began, “I mean, I do hate…SHIIIIIIT!”

 

Blitzo found himself being lifted up in a headlock by a muscular goon with a white tank top and hat. He struggled to free himself from the goon’s muscular arm around his neck. The goon grinned smugly. Blitzo managed to get his gun under his chin and the goon’s face exploded in black blood. Blitzo and Fizzarolli hurried on and scampered some more on the shelf.

 

“So, why didn’t you try and tell me any of this? Or come see me?” Fizzarolli asked. “Even ONCE would’ve been fine!”

 

Blitzo ducked behind a box. “I tried…you were all I had left, Fizz. But they told me YOU didn’t want to see me.”

 

Fizzarolli stared in surprise. “I never told them that!”

 

 “Bullshit…” Blitzo murmured then paused. “You didn’t?”

 

Fizzarolli cried, “No! And no one told me you came!”

 

Both of them looked at each other. “Oooohhh…” they said at the same time, realizing their whole fight was based on misunderstandings on both ends.

 

 “WAAOOOH! CHRIST ON A STICK!” Blitzo screamed as he blasted the face of a light green roaring sharp-toothed goon who had tried to swipe at them. The goon fell dead to the floor as other goons tried to lift a ladder.

 

 “TRYING TO HAVE A FUCKING EMOTIONAL MOMENT, HERE!” Fizzarolli spat down at them.

 

They both stood up, their backs to each other. Blitzo had two guns in his hands.

 

“Misunderstanding or no, it’s hard to just forgive you,” Fizzarolli mentioned. He picked up Blitzo who shot at a snake goon and a slender female imp wearing blue. “It’s BEEN fifteen years and…that’s so much time. But…”

 

He swung Blitzo around and he kicked a green goon off the shelf. He then tossed Blitzo forward who fired both guns at a teal goon off to the side. They flipped through the air and knocked two other goons away.

 

 “…I guess you didn’t really ruin my life.” Fizzarolli told Blitzo, who was hanging upside down in Fizzarolli’s robotic arms.

 

“What? You’re telling me getting BLOWN UP didn’t ruin your life?”

 

Fizzarolli used a dizzy Blitzo to knock another goon to the ground. “It was painful and challenging and you know…FUCK YOU STILL!” He faced Blitzo with a glare as he put him down, “BUT…it’s not like I’m broken. And now I have someone who understands me and…”

 

Blitzo knocked away a small blue goon wearing a purple suit, then knocked a gray serpentine demon off. He fired his guns at a green goon and was lifted up by Fizzarolli. “HAHAHA FUCK YOU!”

 

Fizzarolli continued, “…my life has actually been pretty great.”

 

Fizzarolli reached down with his left robotic arm, taking him and Blitzo to the floor.

 

Blitzo folded his arms. “Yeah, that’s lovely. You got a good thing going on with that horny rooster fucker, don’t ya?” There was a hint of envy in his sarcasm.

 

Fizzarolli said, “Oh yeah it’s been…fantastic…” He blushed then flustered, “UH CUZ YOU KNOW, IT’S A GREAT GIG, AND HE’S GOT THE BIGGEST COCK, YOU KNOW LIKE…” He formed his arms into the shape of testicles, “…MASSIVE! I MEAN IMAGINE LIKE THE BIGGEST…” He moves his arms in a circle, “…JUST A GIANT HUGE, LIKE A KAIJU, (Kaiju roared in the background) “…BUT IT’S A COCK, YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN?! LIKE A BIG MONSTER, IT’S BIG…” He did a handjob motion, “…IT’S HUGE…”

 

“YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, I GET IT, I GET IT!” Blitzo replied in annoyance, both palms out. Then in a gesture of friendship, he placed his hand on Fizzarolli’s shoulder and said, “I’m happy for ya, Fizz.” Fizzarolli smiled genuinely for the first time in a while.

 

The two imps soon found themselves being backed into a corner of boxes by Crimson, Striker, and five shark-like mafia goons. Striker pushed aside two goons and strolled forward.

 

Crimson glared at Striker. “If you wanna prove yourself, cowboy, here’s your chance!”

 

Striker grinned in response, stalking toward the imps. His tail hissed and swayed.

 

“You been a pain in my ass long enough, Blitz.” His eyes and sclera glowed menacingly in the dark. He took out his lasso and stretched it in his hands. “NOW I’m gonna break you like a FUCKIN’ HORSE!”

 

“Ooohhh, don’t you dare talk sexy to ME!” Blitzo smirked in response.

 

Fizzarolli scowled. “You’re still on that horse thing?!”

 

Striker laughed darkly as he and Crimson and the goons inched forward. Blitzo suddenly had an idea.

 

 “Fizz! Remember how you used to distract my dad so I could steal his booze?”

 

“I mean, yeah, why?” Fizzarolli asked.

 

“Yeah, well I need to get up to that window there to bust us out.” Blitzo pointed to a boarded-up hole in the wall, high up.

 

Fizzarolli chuckled, ready for some fun, one finger up. “Ohohoo! One distraction, comin’ up!”

 

Fizzarolli leaped forward, touching a white goon’s chin, touching two other goon’s hats, and posing on a tall stack of boxes. There was a spotlight on him that wasn’t there before. He soon began his entertaining improvised song, “Look At This.”

 

“Look At This”

 

Fizzarolli slid to the floor and sang:

 

“When I was a young boy…”

 

“I’d never thought it comes to this…”

 

He dramatically hugged three of Crimson’s goons with his robotic arms.

 

“The scars all seem to heal…”

 

Fizzarolli moved his face against a disgusted Crimson’s, his robotic arm sparking as he pinched his face. He then jumped and wrapped his arms around a shelf, the spotlight on him.

 

“And soon all I feel is regret.”

 

He posed on top of the shelf.

 

“And nooow I’m a grown man…”

 

He dramatically fell to the floor.

 

“I’ve lost it all again…”

 

He jumped on top of a stack of boxes.

 

“But what I’ll miss the most…”

 

Blitzo threw banana peels and candy warpers onto Fizzarolli as if it were confetti. Fizzarolli grabbed Blitzo and pulled him into a dance. They did a circular dance, going on either side until Blitzo found himself being held by Fizzarolli with one hand under his back. Blitzo blushed as he looked up at his face.

 

“Pay close attention, while you get a look at…”

 

“THIS!”

 

Fizzarolli dropped Blitzo and displayed Blitzo’s car keys on a gold keychain shaped like a Twilight Sparkle unicorn pony. He jumped and opened up a box of gold and gems.

 

“YEAH! LOOK AT THIS!”

 

He held up a treasure map with a red pentagram on it. Blitzo snuck sideways in the background.

 

“THEN LOOK AT THAT!” Fizzarolli focused the heads of two goons away from the sneaking Blitzo.

 

“And here’s a hat!”

 

Fizzarolli placed a red hat on his head with monster teeth, a white feather and two playing cards on it. He danced and posed on top of another stack of boxes.

 

“This nonsense mostly doesn’t mean a thiiing!”

 

Striker briefly glanced behind him at the sneaking Blitzo, but Fizzarolli abruptly grabbed his head to face him.

 

“But listen closely, maybe it explains EVERYTHING!”

 

“The secret to Bitcoin!”

 

A video showed a businessman with glasses, brown hair, and a suit, who was admiring a pile of money in his hands. “Success” was in red in the corner with a green upward jagged arrow. Two coins spun to the sides of the screen and the title read, “Bitcoin, How to get RICH in 5 Steps!”

 

“Computers and microchips!”

 

Fizzarolli’s outfit briefly changed to a shirt with black and white checkered squares and a bowtie. The video changed to a purple outer space 80’s background with lines making up digital mountains. A gold Illuminati pyramid showed a large eye with a pink pentagram in the center with hypnotic pink and yellow circles. Fizzarolli turned white on a screen as 0s and 1s flashed by in the background. He did noodle movements with his arms like Squidward as psychedelic colors flashed and waved in the background.

 

The spotlight turned gold on Fizzarolli as he held a gold key with devil horns on it and placed it into one of the goon’s hands. He gave a coin to another goon, who eyed it.

 

“The key to the future!”

 

Fizzarolli bounced back and forth in rapid motions.

 

“If you only LOOK AT THIS!”

 

He hugged a disgusted Striker and Crimson from behind.

 

“Riches untold! You’ll have dollars of gold!”

 

He placed gold coins in their hands with stars, a smiley face and “fool” on them. Striker glared at Fizzarolli while Crimson tried to bite into his coin.

 

“If you focus on me as the story unfolds…”

 

Blitzo piled boxes in a tower toward the window. Fizzarolli moved his face close to the screen, distorting it.

 

“LOOK AT THIS!”

 

“I hold the key to the mystery!”

 

Fizzarolli showed them a book with a pentagram in it and tossed it aside.

 

“LOOK AT THIS!”

 

Fizzarolli jumped into the air, sending boxes falling, along with a white Mammon shirt and other junk. He then wrapped his arms around all the villains, constricting them like a snake.

 

“Look at nothing except for ME!”

 

He pressed his face up to Crimson’s, Fizzarolli’s eyes briefly flashing teal, yellow and pink. He spun the villains around.

 

“LOOK AT THIS!”

 

Fizzarolli held a flashlight to his face and made rabid sounds. He babbled as he waved his arms, making a shadow silhouette behind him. He picked up a fat dizzy goon shark in a suit and hat.

 

“THAT WAS GIBBERISH!”

 

He shone the flashlight in his face with a pose on a box.

 

“BLITZO, HURRY THE FUCK UP!”

 

He then jumped and posed on a shelf.

 

“I don’t know how long I can do thiiiis…”

 

Blitzo had a protective mask on and was wielding a blowtorch over the window boards.

 

Blitzo called, “I’m gonna need another 60 seconds!”

 

“AW FUCK!” Fizzarolli spat before singing again.

 

“Ok the thing I’m trying to say…”

 

“I will say if you look this waaaay…”

 

“Uh, ya know it’s…it’s uh…” he stuttered.

 

The spotlights turned red as the goons turned to see cob-webbed boxes with plates, bowling balls, tires, umbrellas, bags, and other junk in them.

 

“Just as a Nonna (Grandma) Fizzarolli used to say…”

 

Fizzarolli hoped down and draped a fur collar around his neck. He spoke in crude Italian, insulting Crimson.

 

“Puzza lasagna! (Stink lasagna!)

 Contorni limoncello! (Side dish limoncello!)

Fortepiano (Loud, soft!)

Buongiorno, ada Vongole (Good morning with clams!)”

 

One of the smaller reptile goons had hearts in his eyes, lovestruck by Fizzarolli’s Italian.

 

Striker glared at Crimson, as if asking what Fizzarolli was saying. Crimson shrugged.

 

Fizzarolli pulled Crimson into a dance and briefly choked him with his arm and his scarf.

 

“Luigi, Firenze, Bucatini, (Luigi, Florence, Bucatini)”

 

Blitzo checked his equipment before stumbling backwards, dropping sticks of dynamite to the floor. The smaller goons were crying at Fizzarolli’s performance, while Striker and Crimson pulled out their guns. Blitzo picked up a red dynamite stick and smirked. He then grinned as he found more and hammered at the wood.

 

“Cingale, Cingale, (Wild boar, wild boar)!”

 

“Soooo look at…THIS!”

 

Fizzarolli bashed his face with a piece of strawberry cake and frosting.

 

“PLEASE, LOOK AT THIS!”

 

He slid to the floor and held out droopy pink flowers under a pink spotlight. He squirted Striker in the face, pulled him close and shook him hard.

 

“I am running out of places I can take this bit!”

 

Blitzo grinned as he lined wire and snuck carefully across a high beam.

 

“SO, LOOK AT THIS!”

 

Fizzarolli juggled balls, a gun, and two spinning plates on sticks, balancing one of the plates on his nose.

 

“LOOK AT MY FACE!”

 

The goons flinched as black smeared mascara appeared on Fizzarolli’s face. Blitzo tossed a red dynamite stick to Fizzarolli, who held it in his hand. Blitzo flipped the villains the bird from above before they began firing at him. The beam collapsed and Blitzo jumped onto a hanging light.

 

“I regret every event that got me in this place…”

 

“This little song is driving me insane...”

 

“My exhaustion is audible…”

 

“Now the ending is probable!”

 

Fizzarolli punched Striker and Crimson with his long robotic arm. Blitzo grinned in victory as he pushed down on the trigger.

 

“Cuz’ this ruse is impossible to maintain!”

 

BOOM!

 

The window exploded, leaving a hole. Fizzarolli stretched up, allowing Blitzo to hop onto his shoulders.

 

 

“So fuckin’…”

 

Fizzarolli leaned back, all limbs stretched out. They both flew toward the hole…

 

“BYE-BYE!!!”

 

They both grinned and both did double flipping the birds to the villains as they fell out to freedom. The building shook and caved in…the tower of boxes collapsing. A white-faced horned tall goon solemnly lowered his hat as he prepared for the end. The building collapsed and green flames spread from it. The two imps laughed as they raced along the junkyard. They laughed and stopped to catch their breath.

 

 

“You know, you’re actually good at this action-hero bullshit,” Fizzarolli remarked.

 

Blitzo smiled and pointed a playful finger at Fizzarolli. “And you really know how to put on a show! (gasp) Which is almost (gasp) as impressive as the thing you said I was good at!” Fizzarolli laughed in response.

 

They both spotted an old striped car, looked at each other and grinned, thinking the same thing. In no time at all, Blitzo had broken in through a window with his gun, hot-wired it and the engine roared to life. The car headlights glowed an eerie green and the front of the car had the appearance of a monster mouth with sharp teeth.

 

Blitzo climbed over the front of the car and tripped before standing back up. He opened the passenger door and made a polite hand gesture.

 

“I guess, royal jesters first?”

 

Fizzarolli giggled and did a show of walking gracefully toward the car. He was just about to climb in when a lasso rope caught around his neck. Blitzo gasped as he spotted Fizzarolli screaming, one hand reaching out. He was being dragged away, his eight fingers making marks in the ground.

 

A fuming Blitzo jumped on top of the car and pointed his gun out in the distance.

 

“Get…your…FUCKING shit-stain claws off him!”

 

The greenish smoke cleared, and Striker reared his head back in laughter, his snake tongue out. He had Fizzarolli in a headlock and an angelic gun in his other hand.

 

Striker’s yellow eyes widened in a crazed menace. “You think I’m just gon’ let you get away after all this? I’m THOUGH losin’ these fights!” He twirled his weapon and pointed it under Fizzarolli’s chin.

 

“This worthless little pet REEKS of his over-bloated master…I’ll at least enjoy getting’ rid of ‘im!”

 

Fizzarolli smirked, despite his fear. “Ok…is it bad that I’m getting hard?”

 

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” shouted an angry Striker, digging the revolver in deeper. “WHY’S IT ALWAYS A SEX THING?!”

 

Blitzo suddenly spotted two red gasoline cans. He fired a bullet at them and to his delight, the cans exploded. Fizzarolli flew into a high billboard that showed the Mammon logo and read, “Mammon’s Clown Pageant: Be there ya cunts!” Fizzarolli dropped to the ground, a small green flame on his teal heart over his shoulder.

 

Striker barely had time to look behind him, when the flames exploded into his eyes, face and onto his body. Now Striker was suffering the same fate that had befallen Blitzo and Fizzarolli so long ago.

 

Striker screeched, swayed, and scampered as the green flames danced across his clothes and body. He made frightened critter noises as he scurried away on all fours under a broken red car. His pointed tail tapped a puddle of water, extinguishing the flames on his tail before he disappeared.  

 

Blitzo turned around and to his horror saw a terrified Fizzarolli surrounded by green flames. He reached up toward a hanging car on a hook but even his long robotic arm could not reach it. His robotic arm crackled with electricity and slumped to the ground. Fizzarolli flinched and cried as a burning telephone pole fell inches away from him. Flashbacks of a burned, helpless Fizzarolli at the circus filled Blitzo with adrenaline and dread.

 

 “FIIIZZZ!”

 

Blitzo looked around frantically and spotted a metal barrel. He jumped over a line of green fire, rolling on top of the barrel. He rode on the barrel from one junk pile to the next. He rolled himself off a ramp and flew into the air. Blitzo expertly flipped from one trapeze bar to another trapeze bar. He landed on the hood of a car and onto a metal railing. He maneuvered sideways on it, holding onto the railing. He found himself on the edge of a large crane that held the car on a hook. Fizzarolli was surrounded by a circle of emerald flames.

 

Taking a brave breath, Blitzo leaped onto the hanging car, using his tail to wrap around the rope and hook for support. He lowered himself as much as he could, reaching out both hands for his friend. Fizzarolli strained and reached for Blitzo with his other functioning robotic arm. Thankfully, Blitzo managed to grab Fizzarolli’s hand with both his own. Straining, Blitzo lifted himself back up. Both of them flew into the air…holding each other tightly as they began to fall. Blitzo was afraid it would be the end, but fortunately, Fizzarolli swung them with his arm, which had wrapped around the bottom metal beams of the crane. They managed to swing and steady themselves onto the top of the crane.

 

After catching their breath, Fizzarolli glared. He shook Blitz hard and angrily cried, “YOU BLEW ME UP AGAIN YOU FUCKIN’ PRICK!”

 

 “I did…” Blitzo began, “…but this time I stuck around.”

 

Fizzarolli turned around and Blitzo looked downcast. He may have saved Fizzarolli, but now it looked like their friendship was ov…

 

To Blitzo’s surprise, Fizzarolli embraced Blitzo in a rare hug. It was a “thank you for saving my life” gesture. Happy tears watered in Blitzo’s eyes as he returned the hug. It was a spark of hope, a promise of a new beginning. Even after so many years of misunderstanding, the power of friendship was gradually starting to return.

 

“If only I could make out with that clown,” Blitzo suddenly thought.

 

 

 

 

 

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Part 5: Reunion

 

Stolas made snoring noises as he slept in his chair and blew the paper on his head. Asmodeus groaned again as his watch read 3:00. It was the witching hour; the time Crimson said the contract had to be signed. Now he worried that Fizzarolli would be lost for good. The shark read only the fifth page, smacking his lips, and drinking his coffee.

 

Slamming his hands on the desk, Asmodeus roared toward the shark in an angry demonic voice, his face turning red and his mane of hair and feathers glowing with red-white flames: “THAT’S IT! I’M GOING TO FUCKING END YOUR LIFE…!”

 

Asmodeus then froze as he heard a noise behind him. Fizzarolli parted the thick blue curtains, wiped his mouth, and looked up at Asmodeus.

 

Asmodeus let go of the shark and cried, “FIZZIE!”

 

“OZZIE!” Fizzarolli cried in turn after a giggle. He had tears in his eyes.

 

They both embraced and laughed, Asmodeus twirling Fizzarolli around in the air. They leaned into each other as teal fire blue hearts appeared from Asmodeus’ face.

 

Stolas stood up and straightened his collar and grabbed his top hat. Meanwhile, the nervous shark grabbed the contract papers and stuffed them into a drawer with his briefcase and a purple dildo. His white shirt was torn and sweaty, his red tie unkempt. Crimson would not be happy.

 

“Hmmm…get fucked little one,” Stolas grinned as he put on his hat and strolled through the curtains out the door.

 

The shark stuffed the papers into his briefcase. He placed it onto the table, stood up and looked at the duo. Asmodeus and Fizzarolli saw that the shark was now useless and bothersome. They both laughed, then advanced toward him with evil grins.

 

“OH MY SATAN!” were the shark’s last words as he backed into the spinning chair in fright. Thunder and lightning crashed as rain splattered from outside the giant heart-shaped window.

 

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Asmodeus carried Fizzarolli through the heart-shaped double doors with the demon faces on them.

 

“I’m so glad you’re okay, babe,” sighed Asmodeus, nuzzling his partner’s face. He snapped his fingers and the lights turned out. He closed the door and entered a dimly lit hallway with blue flame candles in jars. “You ain’t never leaving the palace without protection AGAIN.”

 

 

The two of them walked through the hallway, teal hearts floating between their faces. Succubi and incubi froze and glanced at the couple in disgust and confusion. One succubus with long hair sat on top of a vending machine that sold condoms. An incubus in a white suit leaned against a water cooler with a cup in his hand. A muscular dark-skinned incubus sat on a long couch with two succubi in hazmat suits. Another female was flying and carrying papers. The suited incubi spat out his water as he spotted the duo. Another worker carried dildos in a box.

 

Fizzarolli glanced around nervously in Asmodeus’ arms. “Oz…you know there’s eyes around…”

 

Asmodeus shrugged. “I know. I don’t care.”

 

They soon stopped at a large bronze fountain that poured pink liquid into a basin. There were statues of nude incubi and succubi. One was a large-bodied succubi and one was a shirtless incubus with hearts over his nipples. Another showed a succubus carrying a bowl of the pink liquid on her head, hearts over her round breasts and privates. Another was of a slender incubus with an erect penis with water flowing from it.

 

Asmodeus continued. “Cuz’ they know, if they tell anyone…”

 

He ended with a demonic voice so they could all hear it, “…I’LL BREAK THEM!”

 

He punched the penis on the statue, creating cracks and a hole in the figure. Getting the message, the demons in the background scattered out the doors, frightened. Asmodeus and Fizzarolli chuckled in amusement as they reached the transparent elevator. The sign read “Authorized Personnel Only.” A nearby flyer showed a cartoon purple dildo wearing a construction worker outfit that read “Wrap your wood! Safety lessons with Johnson.”

 

‘Well don’t worry,” said Fizzarolli with a chuckle. “Today I learned that I hate going outside!”

 

They got into the elevator, and it moved upward.

 

“You won’t have to, again,” Asmodeus mentioned. Fizzarolli lowered his head. They arrived at an upper floor with pink round glowing lights floating around. Asmodeus carried Fizzarolli into a small dark workshop and set him down on a table. There were boxes of tools and a pair of pink cuffs hanging from a board. The board also had a saw and a heart-shaped pink ruler on it.

 

“I’m sorry…I got a little messy…” Fizzarolli mentioned, holding his broken arm.

 

Asmodeus opened up a briefcase with supplies. “You don’t need to apologize for getting banged up, babe! I’m just sorry I couldn’t be there.”

 

He found a robotic arm and placed it on the table next to the jester imp.

 

“It’s okay, Oz,” Fizzarolli replied with a smile and a blush. “Guess I’m just not used to this kinda thing.”

 

Asmodeus sighed. “It’s been an intense day. Just take it easy, okay?” He opened up the curtains, revealing a window and the pouring rain outside. Strings of round lights decorated the windows.

 

 Fizzarolli moaned and sputtered, “Oh it’s fine! I’m fine! Really! You know I bounce back fast!” He weakly gave a thumbs up and held his arm, wincing from his broken arm. “So, besides my whole scary hostage thing…how was your day?” He reached out his good arm.

 

Asmodeus took out a white first-aid kit with the pink upside-down cross logo on it from the Sloth Ring hospital. It had a purple bottle, a pink “loob” bottle and a pair of scissors. Asmodeus held the scissors in his hand.

 

“Well, I was stuck with Stolas the whole time. Who by the way, asked me to give him one of my crystals as a gift for that guy you hate!”

 

Asmodeus carefully cut away loose wire and fabric from Fizzarolli’s right shoulder. “So…I told him ‘NO!’ Mm-hmm!” Asmodeus attached the long robotic arm to Fizzarolli. The imp sighed.

 

“Meh, fuck it, let him have it.”

 

Asmodeus looked puzzled. “Excuse me?”

 

“Yeah, why not? You could say, he earned it.”

 

Asmodeus moved closer, his hand on Fizzarolli. “Alright then.” He added in a sing-song voice, “Anything for you.”

 

Before long, Fizzarolli’s arm was connected once again. After fixing the wires and adding the final touches, Asmodeus tightened it in. A teal heart in a circle appeared and teal lines lit up down the black robotic limb. The arm was connected again. Fizzarolli moved his fingers, and everything was back to normal.

 

Fizzarolli giggled and jumped for joy. He sprang from the window, flipped through the air and Asmodeus caught him.

 

“Now I don’t know about you, but having a violent brush with crime has given me a whole mess of new kinks!” Fizzarolli mentioned. “Wanna go… ‘make a mess?’”

 

Asmodeus pressed a pink heart-shaped button and two glass doors slid open. “You really think that’s a good idea right now, Fizz?”

 

 “Sure, don’t you?” He placed his hand onto Asmodeus’ furry face. Asmodeus took Fizzarolli’s hand and leaned his face close.

 

 “Well…obviously.”

 

Both of them laughed as more teal hearts appeared between them.

 

“Meow, meow, cuddle, meow…” Fizzarolli purred erotically. Asmodeus carried Fizzarolli to their bedroom for a sexy session as the doors closed. To Fizzarolli’s delight and relief, all his quieves/fly-dogs were also back, safe and sound.